//------------------------------// // Interlude: Black Watch's Grand Day Out // Story: My Adventures in Equestria // by ThatDiscordGuy //------------------------------// This was written in about 30 minutes, this is about my friend's OC Black Watch, this was also the first thing I wrote for the internets. I'm putting this here because it doesn't deserve its own story. After this I will start planning for the Ponyville ark of My Adventures in Equestria and get chapter 5 finished soon. Also logic is overrated, don't you think? One day Black Watch was walking and cloping in a jungle for no reason because he loves the smell of burnt carcases in the morning, afternoon, and evening. While doing nothing of importance he just kept going and going because the author said so, so it must happen. He came up to a random tree that looked exactly like the ones around him and basically everything else. But this wasn't just a random tree for it was The Random Tree that supposedly held the 7th element of no importance. Incidentally this element represented bullshit or nitrogen because that's what the 7th element is. Black Watch couldn't resist the temptation of becoming a god mode sue and gain the power to defeat any villain by himself so he snatched it and ran quickly out of the jungle but didn't want to stay for fun and games (the bastard). He ran north...far north. Later that day he returned to Ponyville because that's where all OCs live or want to live because the mane six live here but more specifically Rainbow Dash lives here, so it makes shipping very convenient. Black Watch called a meeting with his bestest pals a colt can have (and probably mate with). His pals were indeed the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. When everything was set up, he started the meeting. Finally he would be the Leader of the Elements and prove to Celestia, Luna, and Cadence that he was worthy enough to be part of the royal family again. "Hey girls." Black Watch simply said while at his podium of might. "Shut up Black Watch!" yelled Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy, but from Fluttershy it sounded more like a "can you please not speak...if that's okay with you." Oh Fluttershy, that's okay with all of us. "If I had a say in things I would be with Logical Fallacies, at least he was supposed to be stupid." added Rainbow Dash nonchalantly. "Oh Black Watch." swooned Twilight with a bunch of hearts flying around her. "NOW'S NOT THE TIME!" yelled Black Watch, the shipping would have to wait. "For I have something cool to show you girls or should I say something that is 20% cooler than you." remarked Black Watch with his totally "original" and "hilarious" wit. "Shut up, that saying got old before it even began." replied Rainbow Dash angrily. "Oh Black Watch I can't handle all this tension between us, make me yours!" yelled Twilight with a lot of lust in her voice as she sprang from the desk towards the podium (That looked like it was stolen from the UN) while trying to land on Black Watch to initiate proto-call 69, 34, and any other sexual number. Black Watch jumped put of the way causing Twilight to smash into the podium. "Not until chapter 38598274 of The Necromancer oh ya I'm a necromancer for no reason. Also your Brother would geld me from where I stand. Chapter 3145345 is where I convince him to let us do the nasty." replied Black Watch in a smug voice. "Now where was I before I was interrupted." "You were at the part where we didn't care about nor listen to anything you were saying you crazy nut." replied Rarity in an equally smug voice while she was using Spike as foot stool because that would be something that Spike would do. "Oh ya I was going to show you some bullshit. Well here it is." replied Black Watch as he pulled out the 7th element. "It just looks like a poorly constructed piece of wood that is held together with tooth picks and snot and the gem is just a very jagged rock painted neon." said Pinkie Pie, for some reason not going on and on about some crazy story that makes no sense. Instead she looked depressed with her mane straight and coat much dimmer than usual. "Why do you look like Pinkamena, Pinkie?" asked Fluttershy. "Because I have to see him." replied Pinkie Pie she pointed a hoof at Applejack. "Why me?" said Applejack with a hurt expression. "Whoops my mistake." replied Pinkie Pie as she pointed her other hoof at Black Watch. "No mater for I am the 7th element now and I say that we go and find some random evil that probably doesn't exist and blah blah blah blah blah blah..." Black Watch went on for about 8 days about something that doesn't matter. BUT SUDDENLY A PURPLE APE CRASHED THROUGH THE BUILDING AND FOR SOME REASON HE WAS WEILDING A KATANA AND A GUN EVENTHOUGH WEAPONS DON'T EXIST IN THIS WORLD! "WHO DARES TO DISTUREB MY SLUMBER AND STEAL MY ELEMENT OF NO IMPORTANCE!" yelled the ape in a funny Italian voice that sounded like Mario's fake Italian accent. Everypony and Spike in the room pointed at Black Watch who was still on his epic speech. The ape suddenly grabbed Black Watch and teleported back to The Random Tree. "Put it back." said the ape "No." replied Black Watch. "Fine if you want it that way then I shall kill you myself for I am the Ape of Doomy doom of doom, the protector of the 7th element." bragged the ape "Gorduo, Geurdo (Don't know how to spell it) Giant fat thing attack!" yelled Black Watch in his awesome battle cry as he tried to summon that thing. But instead he summoned Tiny the rock thing but for some reason it had the head of a shark and 20 thousand laser cannons on it's back and it shot and it explodenaded to whole jungle and killed everything in Equestria and the only things that lived was a fatally wounded Black Watch and The Ape of Doomy doom of doom. "How did you survive my ultimate attack." coughed Black Watch. "Oh you fool don't you know that everypony that stole the 7th element died a stupid death and killed everything due to the power of the god mode sue." replied the ape "Then how did you live?" asked Black Watch with the very little strength he could muster before he died. "Quite simple for I am not the Ape of Doomy doom of doom." said the ape "WHAT!" yelled Black Watch forgetting for a moment that he was dying. The ape stood still and Black Watch could see a zipper around the ape's neck unzip. Before he know it the head was off and all he could see was the head of... Before I could finish Black Watch remembered that he was dying and died due to all the screaming. The very instant that Black Watch blacked out (Oh haha) all he could hear was the whisper of a voice. "You just lost the game." FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU! I was just standing there as this weird looking pony was freaking out and going on about how he was the 7th element. That is impossible because that position is reserved for me John Smith. As I was thinking I was distracted by this weird thing that called itself Black Watch. "Damn you Lemon Cannon and your giant hammer, Go Mooseline and your maple syrup sword and maple syrup gun." yelled the thing. I just backed away slowly and left the thing to suffer by itself because I did not want to hear its life story. With that done I left to go find mai waifu and I only had one thought on my mind. The hell just happened? Next time: The Fluttershy Chapter