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// Opening Statement by the Counsel for the Plaintiff 
// Story: Got Bored, Wrote A Thing 
// by Rinnaul 
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Your honor, noble ponies of Equestria, we come to your lands today not to attack your business interests or claim your wealth, but instead to stand up for our pride as a fellow civilization. Some may think us less intelligent due to our manner of speech. Indeed, to be taken seriously as an attorney in your Kingdom, able to earn fair representation for my people here, I had to train myself out of my native accent. However, the diamond dogs are no less intelligent than any other race of Equus, standing proudly alongside the griffons, zebras, minotaurs, and many varieties of pony.

That is why it is so galling for us to be treated as mere animals in this way.

Ah, I see the counselor for the defense is prepared to object.

What will you claim, sir?

That your product was never intended for the diamond dogs? That it was a simple misunderstanding, and you meant it solely for canines kept as pets?

Then why would you ship your product to our grocers? Some pony-owned general stores may be found in Dimondia. Why not focus your efforts there?

Because you thought us simple, nothing more than that.

You thought we were no better than your pets. That we would not realize what it was you were offering us.

It was this malicious intent that lead to our accusations against the Flam Brothers of false advertising, misrepresentation, and bigotry.

We see through your excuses, just as we saw through your advertising and the nature of your product itself.

Mares and gentlecolts of Equestria, I assure you: We know it is not bacon.