Dear Limestone Pie:
You have Boulder cleaning duty today. Good luck getting all the sticky stuff off.
Your very happy sister, Marble Pie.
Dear Holder's Boulder:
I feel your pain.
Sincerely, King Grover.
P.S.: Tell Marble Pie that her sister needs to clean me. Nogriffin want to do it unless they get paid. Or even if they get paid, for that matter.
Dear Big Macintosh:
Doesn't it bother you that you're in love with your cousin?
Sincerely, Apple Bloom.
Dear Apple Bloom:
Your parents were cousins too, so you should shut up.
Sincerely, Twilight.
Dear Applejack:
Did you hear that Lunabucks has forgone its usual Hearth's Warming decorative cups and released cups that are just red all over?! This is clearly an attempt to destroy the deeply-held Celestian values that we hold to be the center of our Hearth's Warming celebration! We cannot allow the Hasbro-haters to wage their war on Hearth's Warming! It is blasphemy!
Your worried fellow Celestian, Limestone Pie.
P.S.: Please tell your brother to stop fucking my sister. Pre-marital sex is clearly forbidden.