//------------------------------// // Hoofball // Story: Got Bored, Wrote A Thing // by Rinnaul //------------------------------// “Maybe think about that and come back when you learn to have good taste in teams.” “Since when does good taste mean pickin’ losin’ teams?” “Hey, the Timberwolves would be doing great if they’d just get Manes Whinnyston off the field for once.” “And they don’t, so there you go.” “Oh, like the Windigos are any better with Pintabian. Was he the worst player they could find in Fillydelphia, or just the worst one who wasn’t in prison?” The other four mares present groaned as Rainbow Dash and Applejack began another round of shouting scoring records and any number of other statistics none of them understood back and forth at each other. Rarity fell back into her chair, collapsing under the sheer banality of the debate, which had occupied their entire get-together for the third week in a row. Teams. Players. Touchdowns. Records. Downs, whatever those were (and how they differed from touchdowns). She didn’t understand a word of it. Well, the bits about which players ought to be in jail for the latest scandal, that she understood. Who wasn’t above a bit of celebrity gossip? If only it weren’t wrapped up in all of this nonsense about the game. Though, she supposed then the players wouldn’t be celebrities to gossip about to begin with. She started as Applejack slammed a hoof onto the table, then relaxed and sighed. They were shouting player names now. She couldn’t even bring herself to follow the list. She rolled her head to look towards Twilight, who had given up reading until it was over due to the sheer volume of the debate, and just covered her face with the book. Twilight had tried, before, to join their discussions on the sport, briefly entertained by the sheer amounts of statistical information she could find and analyze. She lasted all of five minutes in the actual argument. “Twilight,” Rarity said, completely unnoticed by the arguing pair. “Would it be possible for you to go get Starlight, cast that time travel spell, and, I don’t know, banish the inventor of Hoofball to the moon before the horrid thing ever comes about?” Twilight sighed. “While Starlight and I together would be powerful enough to go back that far, and Trotter Camp wouldn’t be particularly hard to find, it could still come about from older forms of the game. We could probably reach the right time period to find the accord-to-legend creator of the previous incarnation, Welara Cob, but there are no records of his actual life. And even then, it truly originated in ancient Minos, with the minotaur sport episkyros. And we have no idea who came up with that one, and I don’t think Starlight and I could make it that far back without help from the other princesses and Discord. And I’m pretty sure Celestia and Luna wouldn’t be fond of the idea.” With that, Twilight dropped her head back onto the chair. “Oh Celestia, I hate this whole season.” “But… it would be worth a try?” Rarity offered hopefully. “Think of it, Twilight! Four whole months saved from this!” Twilight turned just enough to glare at her. “Why did you think I knew exactly who to find?”