White mist surrounds the plane of floating stars. There is no sound, no breeze, not even any sort of feeling in this place. There is just me and me alone on the Celestial Plane. I can feel my own chest rising and falling, trying to keep my breath at an even, steady pace. I’m afraid I might not be very good at it, however. After I decided this had to be done, I knew it was not going to be an easy encounter. Yet, just as Snowheart said, what’s necessary is rarely easy.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see a deep violet glow. I take in one final breath and turn to face it. There, standing tall and motionless, staring with an empty, emotionless gaze, is the spirit that has haunted my dreams ever since I have returned to Equestria. The Tantibus remains like a statue, waiting for me to make the first gesture. I take a step towards it and it mirrors my movement. My neck lowers and so does it. Each time I blink, make a slight motion, the Tantibus follows as if the Tantibus is trying to dance with me. No, that is not it. It believes me to be it. Yes, there really is just me and me alone on the Celestial Plane. For that… that monster is me. I can feel tears welling up in the corner of my eyes as I glare at the shadowy figure, glare at myself for creating that part of me. Through tear-filled gasps, I make out the words that have been repeating over and over like a chant in my mind ever since I got to Camp Orion.
“Tantibus… leave this place. Leave me be and never return.” The Tantibus stood like me for only a few moments before turning around, without mirroring me. It begins to walk in a single direction towards seemingly nothing as I watch it go. The faded stars surround the retreating shadow and take hold until it vanishes. I take in a sharp breath. There it goes. The entity that has tormented me, the part of me that has tormented myself, is gone forever. I should be relieved. No longer will I have to endure nightmares every time I fall asleep. I have done what my sister wanted, what Dr. Snowheart had wanted. Then, why do I feel panicked? Why do I miss the Tantibus? A lump catches in my throat as I try to stifle sobs. Why did I ever want that? Why!?
I sit down and let the tears fall to the floor. This is wrong. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Yet, I do and I don’t know why. I will never be able to hurt myself again. I should feel relieved, glad, hopeful. Yet, I feel despair as if things are not as they should be. I feel a longing for the Tantibus to return. “Why?” I whisper to the small puddle of tears in front of my hooves. I ask them why, but I know the right answer. I don’t know. Things that I never knew could be changed are changing and that terrifies me. It terrifies me not to know.
The faded blue begins to shift in colors. Some stars ripple and distort. I let out one final sob. Morning must be coming soon. The dream is ending. I allow my shoulders to relax as I wait for the retreating dream-state to take me back to my resting body in the real world. I may have been asleep this whole time, yet I feel exhausted.