Chapter Four - The Dream and the Past
She had a dream. One she actually remembered as she awakened – no banishment to the unconsciousness as so often happened, so dissolve of the logic in the light of day.
The soldier was walking midst the ponies, receiving odd looks. She started to wonder if maybe she had been spotted in some way, or at the least if they were suspicious of her. She moved along, ducking down an alley, nervous. Eye sight, all those ponies watching her... they had to know, how else could they not? Looking ahead, the soldier spotted one of them standing at the other end. She looked around, seeing that another pony had taken up up the other end. She glanced between the two of the them, her wings raising up and ready to take off.
“Are you okay?”
“Hey Dusty, are you okay?”
The soldier tried to fly up, but a strain caused her to crash back down, her injury still hindering her.
“Is something wrong, Dusty?”
“Tell us Dusty.”
The soldier tried to get up, but all of a sudden, is was as though she lost all energy in her legs, and she just collapsed on the ground. She looked between the two ponies closing in on her. Braeburn and Bones. The soldier struggled, trying to crawl away by one of them, but was stopped bya hoof from Braeburn stomping onto her and holding her in place.
“Tell us Dusty,” Braeburn commanded in a stilted manner, leaning as head down in front of her face.
“What is wrong with you?” Bones asked, “You are irregular. You do not belong here.”
“I belong,” the soldier insisted, “I am a pony. I am just injured. That is why I am not exactly right.”
“No. You are irregular. You are not correct,” Braeburn and Bones spoke at the same time, “You are Dusty. You are wrong. You are not real.”
“Y- yes I am. I am not heard of.”
“You do not belong,” the two ponies chanted, along the voices of a few others.
The soldier looked around to see the walls becoming more pony's, all of them standing there and judging her.
“You must be ejected for the sake of all,” their voices sung together in unison.
The soldier got a buck to her ribs before something smashed her in the head.
“You are irregular,” the voices sung together.
After the soldier shook her head, trying to regain her senses, she saw herself surrounded not by ponies, but by other changelings of the hive, but they still sat in judgment of her.
“You should not have returned,” the hive told her, “You failed. You failed our queen and all the rest of us in our most vital moment.”
“I, I couldn't help it, it was already--” the soldier tried to rebut what was being said before her will was wilted but a sudden loud declaration.
“SILENCE. You are useless, you bring nothing to the hive. You are irregular. You do not belong here,” the many voices declared, before bizarrely switching over the strange drawl that the ponies of Applooza seemed to speak in, “Y'all should have just died out there in that desert.”
“I... I am...” the soldier tried to think.
“You do not listen to the hive. You are irregular. You listen to yourself. You must be ejected. You must be disappeared.”
“I didn't, I can't...”
“It's okay Dusty,” the voice of the hive seemed to switch at the drop of a hat to something more warm and inviting, “You did your best.”
A changeling stepped out form the crowd. It was bizarre, because this drone in particular seemed to resemble Bones, both in superficial appearance as well as mannerisms.
“We still want you. We know you can still serve us. It's all we want, for you to do what you do best,” Bones said with a melancholic smile, leaning in to hug the soldier.
The changeling felt as though she were suddenly overflowing with love. It made her warm, spreading all through out her, a strangely comfortable overwhelming feeling. She was back. She'd traveled so long, had been separated from the hive for so long, had failed them, and yet... They still accepted her. A moisture started to gather in her eyes, threatening to fall in the form of tears.
“Everything will be okay,” Bones assured her.
“Everything will be okay,” the soldier repeated.
She was one with the hive again. She had her place, and she was appreciated for it. She would be fine.
Until, eventually, the waking world robbed her of this happy ending her dreams granted her. The soldier reluctantly opened her eyes, seeing the natural sunlight out the window. She didn't move though, not for a while. She spent a while in a sort of mourning for what she lost, wishing she could hold that overflowing feeling again.
“Hey doc? I'm here about the redressing my wound thing you mentioned?” a voice asked out the door, forcing the soldier to have to push herself back into reality to properly assess what was going on. She kept still, but paid attention nonetheless. This first voice seemed unfamiliar.
“Ah yes, come on in, let's try to get that done right quick,” the voice of Bones said.
That was right, he'd insisted on bringing her here. What was she doing on the bed though? Moved perhaps? Had to have been to have been taken off the floor. The soldier fidgeted her limbs to check to make sure if they were bound or not, thankfully it was the latter. Hadn't been found out and moved then. The soldier continued to listen to the two for a moment, though she didn't catch too much that seem useful. They seemed to discuss a lot of unnecessary things, like the weather. Or something they just read. Then again, ponies seemed to do a lot of things that were not entirely necessary. The soldier did try to hang onto some of what was being said though, in case she might have some use for them. Eventually, the unknown pony was let out, Bones following them to the door of the clinic, and waving as they left before turning to notice the soldier looking at him through the doorway of her own room.
“Well then, good morning,” Bones greeted, coming up the door and leaning in, “Are we awake?”
The soldier was mildly confused about the question, including the nature of the use of the plural. Was he meaning that the both of them were awake? He could obviously tell he was himself, so then he would logically most likely just ask if she was awake. Or was this another odd pony thing? The soldier finally answered after pregnant pause filled the room.
“We are awake,” she stated, before looking up to the open window. Just go along with the plural.
“Well that's good. How're you feeling? Any better than last night?”
“Better than last night, yes.”
“That's good – shows a wonder what a little rehydration can do,” Bones said before gesturing to the table in front of her, or more precisely a container on the table, “There's some vitamins in that bottle there. Measured them out myself. I recommend you take them. It's good to have your nutrition in balance, and being out he desert for days is gonna leave the body yearning.”
“Okay,” the soldier replied simply.
The soldier didn't move though. Neither did Bones. The soldier looked to where the pony still has at the doorway. He smiled and shook his head, walking over elsewhere in the main room.
“They're not poisonous y'know. Just trying to look out for your health.”
The soldier sat up on the bed, staring at the bottle. Would pony medicine be harmful to her? There was a chance it could be harmless, but at the same time... The soldier decided to just through back the pills in her mouth. She was already taking risks being here, what was another like this one? She continued to sit for a while, thinking on what else might be happening, and what had happened.
“There were two other ponies,” she stated.
“Hm?” Bones called for the other room, “Could you repeat that?”
“There were two other ponies,” The soldier repeated in the exact same tone and volume as Bones returning to the doorway, “What happened to them?”
“Oh, yer thinking of Knick Knack and Paddywhack. I suspect they're back at their jobs by this time of the morning. Actually, that reminds me of something else I was wondering, what exactly happened between you and Knick Knack last night? We found the both ya holding each other in your sleep when we got back.”
The fear was set off in the soldier's mind again. She was thankful she wasn't feeling as empty of a stomach as before, but then there was this situation. The soldier felt ashamed of herself for leaving that open. She could have at least gotten into bed.
“I don't know,” she tried.
“Y'don't know? Are you sure miss?”
The soldier tried to key into Bone's stream of thoughts. Was it maybe possible he'd buy that? It seemed like it might be permitted.
“I don't remember. I was brought back here, then I don't recall anything after.”
“I see,” Bones nodded, though there seemed to be a feeling of disappointment coming off of him.
The soldier continued to watch him as he stared down at the floor, a confused flow of emotions and serious thought going through his head.
“Miss Dusty, there's something I've been meaning to ask. Are you going anywhere in particular?” Bones finally asked.
Anywhere she was going... It could be an attempt to fish information out of her. Either to discern her nature. Or if they knew her nature, maybe they were trying to get more out of her. Hints to where her colony was.
“No, no where in particular,” she stoically insisted.
“Just a drifter then, I take it?” Bones asked as he came in more and sat by her.
The soldier blinked slowly as she tried to figure out what the doctor meant by that. Drifter? Someone who drifts then? Who slowly moves? That didn't seem like it made sense... Bones shook his head and waved his hoof dismissively.
“Yeah, I guess that was more redundant than I was figuring,” he said with a slight chuckle. soldier sensed a small amount of discomfort – embarrassment? – coming from him at that remark. “Look, point is, since you're here, I'm figuring, well, Cameo said – you recall that colt you rescued the other day?”
The soldier nodded.
“Yeah, well that was Cameo. He said you managed to get those outlaws real good, though I wasn't sure how much I should believe. You know how kids can be with their overactive imaginations.”
The soldier, despite not being entirely sure about the last sentence, nodded her head anyways. It seemed to work at least.
“I was able to fight them, yes.”
Bones' eyes went wide.
“All nine of them?” he asked incredulously.
Nine? No, that couldn't be right, where did that number come from?
“There were three ponies in that cave, not including Cameo,” she stated.
“Well that's... I suppose that makes it more believable. I'd like to know how you did it though. Cameo said you managed to knock 'em all down in the dark like it was nothing.” Bones then inquired.
That could potentially be a problem then. What could she say to that? After all, ponies weren't exactly the best in the dark, so why... talent maybe? She recalled that about ponies, that they seemed to gravitate towards specific tasks and talents as part of their rite of passage into adulthood. Except that she had not gone by that line of choice for what her mark was. The soldier looked back over herself at the mark on her flank. It was a bunch of twisting rays of light coming out form a small depiction of the sun, the same as the one of the mare in that picture she found. She hadn't thought too much on that aspect when taking on this form. Now she was wishing she had been able to anticipate this situation. She couldn't say it was her “special talent”, so what else could she say? Wait... Bones had mentioned something about overactive imaginations. The soldier wasn't entirely sure what the word “imagination” meant, but considering the word “image” was in there, that seemed like a clue. Overacting imaging. The colt maybe saw something that wasn't true then, is that what that meant? His eyes had seen something that wasn't there?
“Overactive imagination,” the soldier said at first, trying to get an idea of using the word, trying to think of what to say without taking too long to speak, “The darkness was not that obscuring. Perhaps they had trouble adapting to the lowered light levels.”
“Huh, okay, that makes a little more sense,” the doctor said, though the soldier could sense a mix of confusion and disappointment within him, “Still, that's impressive. And actually, speaking of Cameo, the tyke and his folks were by earlier, they wanted to thank you for rescuing him.”
“I see,” the soldier blinked a few times at that. She was actually kind of disappointed to have missed out on that. She recalled that the colt's feelings of gratitude had given her a nice boost.
“If you're willing to stay around for a bit – which as a medical professional I recommend you rest anyways – I'm sure they'll come by again later today,”
While the soldier wasn't entirely sure about the idea of sticking around in this town much longer, she wouldn't mind some gratitude. And besides, if she was in a low energy state through most of the day, she could afford to do so. The soldier nodded slightly.
“I can rest,” she stated.
“Good, that's very good,” Bones smiled, “I'll be having some more water on hand soon, and I'm planning to get you a proper meal as well. I'm gonna observe you for a while, and hopefully you'll be alright when this is all said and done by days end.”
The soldier, again, slightly nodded.
“And don't worry about the cost by the way, this service is on me,” Bones went on.
The soldier stared blankly at Bones. There was a feeling of happiness from the doctor – a feeling of generosity was it? – which seemed good, but the soldier wasn't sure what to make about the idea of no cost. In general, yes, she was familiar with the idea of cost, but the way he was speaking, how did he mean it? The soldier knew everything had a cost or requirement. Building and maintaining a defensive structure had a cost of resources and time after all, for example. This meant he was taking on the cost of this “healing” then? Between the water and food?
“Well, I mean, for one, you don't exactly seem like some pony who's flush with bits, if you know what I mean. And well, I can't just leave a pony in need so, and well... to be honest, you seem like some pony who can use all the blessings they can get,” Bones explained, reading into the nature of her blank stare.
The soldier just nodded. Again, she wasn't entirely sure about everything he meant, but she might as well keep playing along.
“Doc? Think you could help us out?” a voice called from the front door, a freshly arrived pony “Hammer got himself into a mean 'ol mess at the smithy and we could use you.”
“Certainly, I'll be there momentarily,” Bones called back before looking back to the soldier, “Alright Dusty, I'll try not to be gone long. I'm lookin' to give you a quick once over once I get back. I got a few books on the shelf over there you can keep yourself entertained for a while.”
The soldier nodded before turning her attention over to the shelf in question as Bones walked out. It was right next to her bed, so no real trouble to reach in and pull out one of the books. She left it on the bed as she stared at it for a moment. Books. The hive didn't have any, but the soldier recognized it for what it was, after the time she'd spent with infiltrators. They were large compilations of 'writing' that the ponies used to store and pass on information. It was a curious concept to the soldier, because the hive had always, in her experience at least, always survived by the transference of information through individual drones to each other. Inexperienced drones would learn from the experienced, which was just about guaranteed to always happen because there was usually a mix of generations working on any individual project. When the experienced eventually pass on, the younger are by that time learned enough to take on their role for the next generation. It worked well. Then again, ponies weren't quite linked together in that same way. They undoubtedly had communities yes, but they were not the same, they had communication limited to verbality and a few physical non-verbal cues. And there seemed to be a greater emphasis on separation of individual groups. The hive had a multitude of castes, yes, but that was a split based on role. The ponies seemed so often split into 'families', forks of lineage. It seemed so unnecessary in the soldier's eyes when it was perfectly easy enough to just have individuals be raised and eventually find a split based on merit.
Shaking her head, the Soldier refocused back on the book herself. On the cover was a picture of of a tan-colored pegasus with a mane in a spectrum of gray scale. She was rearing up as she held a scepter of some kind in her mouth, looking forward as though out at a potential reader, with a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. Up in the sky was an image of the moon and a few other large objects that seemed to be making a line. Markings that seemed to be in the equestrian language marked the front of the book as well. The soldier then flipped the book over, looking at the back, which was dominated almost entirely by writing. Writing she could not discern the meaning of. By necessity, the soldier had memorized the meaning of a few written words, but this wall of marks? Utterly meaningless to her. It was an infiltrator's job to more thoroughly understand the meaning of these words. Curiosity drove the disguised changeling to keep looking into it though, she didn't have much else to do after all. Flipping open the book to a random page, the soldier was once more greeted to a wall of text. More gibberish she couldn't understand. She continued to flip through the pages until she got to something that was a little more interesting, a small black and white illustration over what what the soldier thought was a large number symbol. She wasn't sure which number it was, but she was sure it was one of the symbols that represented a number. It was another picture of the mare from the front of the book, except this time she appeared to be in a dark place, standing over some sort of stone tablet. Interesting. The soldier flipped through few more pages until she came to another, similar break amidst the sea of words, to another illustration. It was a picture of an area, showing a small silhouette of the mare, except here she was shown to be just a single, small figure against a large stone brick room, an image of the night sky shining down onto some sort of table. The soldier continued to flip through the book, trying to find meaning, as much as she could at least, from these occasional illustrations. They were pleasant to look at, at least, gave her something to focus on for a moment. Eventually though, the soldier would reach an end. She returned to the start of the book to look back over the pictures she missed, through to the end again. The soldier wasn't entirely sure what the book was about all in all, but she garnered enough to gather it was about this mare. It involved the moon and several other objects making a line, going to different places, and battling other ponies until eventually encountering some sort of... dog creature? It was hard to discern exactly. The soldier wasn't sure about the significance or purpose of the book, what it was supposed to teach, but it had been an interesting distraction for a while at least.
Laying the book on the table in front of her, considering getting another to at least look at the pictures of, the soldier found herself realizing she was being watched. She looked up to see a colt and a couple fillies she didn't recognize staring in through the front door, in turn through her room door, at her. The soldier felt disappointed in herself for not having noticed them earlier, but supposed she had been sufficiently distracting herself. And besides, at least the foals weren't dangerous, as far as the soldier could tell at a first glance. The soldier was uncertain about how to handle their presence though. They were just staring at her until she started to stare back, which seemed to intimidate them enough to disappear behind the door frame and whisper among themselves for a moment before popping back out. One of the fillies waved.
“Hey there!” she said.
The soldier waved back with a hoof in turn.
“Yer Dusty, right?” the filly then asked.
The soldier nodded, which was followed up by a bounce of excitement from the filly.
“Cool! Cameo was talkin' to us about you – we weren't sure what we should believe,” the filly went on as she walked inside, followed behind by the colt and other filly. They seemed a little more resistant about this, but at the same time the soldier could sense a good deal of curiosity and excitement in them. They asked some questions similar to what Bones had been asking not too long ago, how much was real, if she really was able to fight off three outlaws. The soldier merely repeated along the lines of what she had said before, no sense in changing her story after all. It was strange to be repeating this information when it seemed like the information was already well enough out there. If it weren't for the fact that the ponies were so out of sync with each other, the soldier would have suspected that she was being checked to make sure she was not providing false information. The 'interrogation' was interrupted however, by another source.
“Shouldn't you foals be in school?”
The voice was masculine, one of a stallion. The soldier glanced to the door to see a sight that put her into a minor state of worry. The stallion looked familiar. He was older than in the picture, but he unmistakably resembled the stallion from the picture she had been looking at that had also featured the mare she based part of her appearance on.
“Oh uh, hey there Sheriff Silverstar, we uh, we're on recess. So we thought we'd come take a look at Dusty here,” one of the fillies said nervously.
“Recess huh?” Silverstar pondered before looking outside and down the street, “That ended a couple minutes ago if I do recall.”
The foals all looked mollified at that – the soldier felt a colt shot roll through her system as they experienced fear.
“W-we didn't mean to sheriff, honest! Please don't take us to the jail!” the colt pleaded.
The sheriff looked very serious, scowling as he stepped back and pointed a hoof in a direction before saying “Alright, just so long as you go directly to school.”
He spoke deadly serious, but the soldier sensed a fair amount of amusement underneath that exterior. The foals all went off without argument, running as fast as their little legs could take them. The sheriff, after following the foals with his eyes for a moment, turned to look into the room where the soldier was.
“Dusty, huh?” he asked, taking a a few steps closer, leaning into the room.
“Yes,” the soldier answered simply. She wasn't entirely sure how she could answer any other way.
The sheriff scrutinized her for a moment, giving the soldier a chance to assess his emotion state. There was obvious curiosity, but also a knot of other emotions that mashed together in a way that was making it hard to discern what exactly he was thinking. Though for what it was worth, chances were he was a having a hard time as well. Nostalgia, anger, confusion, yearning. What could possibly cause such a confluence of emotions?
“Am I familiar to you?” he asked.
The soldier recognized him from the picture, but otherwise nothing else came to mind. She obviously couldn't say that though. There was a chance, the soldier was willing to believe, that he thought she was the same mare as the one in the picture. She could probably get away with a yes, that opened up a whole other can of worms. For one, it would potentially produce an expectation of her knowing things which she did not. The only reason she'd likely gotten away with as much as she had was because she was playing ignorant of some things.
“No,” she finally stated after a moment of looking at him.
He raised an eyebrow at that. There was doubt, more so than what the soldier had experienced in others so far, but he was moving on to other matters.
“Well alright then. I heard you had managed to knock out some wanted criminals, most likely in one of their hideouts. I don't suppose you'd be able to point out where that was exactly?” he asked.
“In a canyon southwest of the town,” the soldier complied. No point in lying about that after all.
“Got a thought on that that's anymore detailed than that?” Silverstar asked.
“I do not. I am not too familiar with the area. I followed Cameo to here,” the soldier clarified.
The sheriff sighed, but nodded.
“Alright, if you insist,” he said before taking another look over her. There was an oddly long pause, “I don't suppose you had a mother who looked an awful lot like you?”
Don't suppose... so how should she respond to that? He didn't suppose it, so maybe it was logical to say no.
“I do not, no.”
“I see...” the sheriff said ponderously before he pulled his hat down for a moment, “Pardon me for a such questions. You just, well... to be completely honest, you resemble someone I once knew.”
He was definitely the one then. And maybe, the soldier thought, it was for the best she went with the answer she did.
“I see,” she answered again with usual simplicity.
There was another long, uncomfortable pause, in which the soldier could sense the maelstrum of emotions trying to find a calm before there was an attempt to push them back.
“Well, I'm gonna looking into those outlaws some more. If you're planning to stick around, we'd certainly welcome a chance for you to give them a knocking around. They've been a problem for a while, so we got a reward out for their capture. So if you need any bits, feel free to give a shot at knocking them around and bringing them in,” Silverstar finally said.
The soldier again simply nodded. Once more there was that mix of emotion threatening to break the surface with a pause in conversation. Thankfully, another coming into the area changed that.
“Hello there Silver, not harassing my patient I hope?” Bones asked from right behind Silverstar.
“Bones!” the sheriff startled slightly before looking behind himself, “Oh not trying to anyway, just wanted to ask her a few questions.”
“Is that so? Well, how about that Dusty? He bothering you?” Bones asked, directly addressing the soldier.
The Soldier shrugged. She wasn't entirely sure how to respond, yet again, but going with a non-committal seemed best. Bones seemed to be doing what Silverstar had been doing anyways, having a hidden air of joviality under the serious words.
“Hmm,” the doctor hummed with exaggerated thoughtfulness, “Well I suppose it doesn't hurt to keep you around.”
The sheriff groaned a little, catching on to Bone's act.
“In all seriousness though doc, I'd like to have a word with when you've got a moment,” Silverstar huffed.
It was Bones turn to have a little groan himself, but he did not object otherwise.
“Just give me a moment to look over Dusty and I'll talk about whatever you need,” he acquiesced with a roll of his eyes, “Never been a dull moment since them Scornful sorts been actin' up...”
Bones went into a quick examination from there, asking a few questions which the soldier tried to answer to the best of her abilities. She was still unsure how well she was blending in, but there was no reaction from either the doctor or nearby sheriff that indicated otherwise.
“Your wings seem to be doing better, that's an welcoming surprise,” Bones remarked after a little more prodding.
“How so?” the soldier asked.
“Well that's a good question. I wouldn't expect a pegasus to recover this quickly. You got any earth pony blood in your lineage?” Bones asked in turn, only to receive a shrug, “Well, I wouldn't be surprised if you do. They're a hardy folk. In any case, I wouldn't recommend pushing yourself too much with the flying anyways. In fact, I'd say keep yourself ground bound for at least a few more days.”
The soldier glanced back at the wings on her back. Her body must have acted on it's own a little, engaging in some accelerated healing while she slept. It wouldn't be the first time it happened, some bodily functions were naturally automatic, but she just hadn't figured she had taken on enough positive emotion to merit that kind of self-healing. Eventually, the soldier noticed something else, which was Bone's eyes being drawn to the book on the table.
“A Daring Do fan, huh?” the doctor asked, pointing at the book.
That must be what the book was about then. Whatever Daring Do was. Still, she didn't really know what the book was about. Admitting she couldn't read seemed like it would be a dead giveaway about what exactly she way. Still, if she was asked more in depth about what the book was about, that would give her away as well.
“I like the pictures,” she finally decided to say. It was true enough at least, no point in going into details.
There was a flash of a smirk on the doctor's face, a knowing smile which briefly was a cause of concern for the soldier, but waiting out the reaction made her realize it was nothing to worry about. Another quirk perhaps of these ponies she had yet – and perhaps really needed – to figure out. Bones then turned about to Silverstar.
“Now then, what can I do you, sheriff?” Bones asked.
“Well it's... a private matter,” Silverstar said as he rubbed a hoof along his mane. The soldier could once again sense that mix of emotions directed at her.
“Oh, well, let's go find ourselves someplace to talk,” Bones said before looking back at the soldier, pointing at a canteen at the foot of her bed, “Make sure to drink plenty, I'll be back soon. Or however long this takes. In either case I'll make sure to have something for you for lunch.”
The soldier nodded, displaying no other emotion other than indifference.
“Right then,” Bones said before looking to Silverstar, “How about we use your office? I figure I'll need to stop by the bakery 'round there anyway.”
Silverstar nodded, then started to head out the door, Bones followed suit. With that done, the soldier looked over to the shelf, wondering which other books might be worth looking into. Hopefully there were some with more pictures.