Chapter 6: Brave
It felt strangely cold in Silver Spoon's bedroom. Posters in garish shades of red, yellow and orange plastered the walls. The warm, forest-green wallpaper poked through the gaps between. Sunlight streamed through a wide picture window, casting itself across Silver in her downy bed, a shade of autumnal brown. The summer heat outside was stifling. Nova was a heavy black heater pressed right against Silver's back.
And yet, Silver Spoon felt cold.
It felt as though the heat had been dragged out of her with an ice cream scoop, pulling several other things out along with it. Her chest was a hollow pit that had frozen over. Silver curled up, clutching at the pit as though she could make it go away. She couldn't. She knew she couldn't.
A knock at the door gave Silver a brief reprieve from her misery. “Wee Miss?” Kelson said, opening the door with eyes cast high, just in case. “It's time for school.”
“Dunwan gmff.” Silver grumbled, rolling over.
Kelson cleared his throat and stepped inside. “What was that, Wee Miss?” he asked.
“I said I don't want to go to school,” Silver said over her shoulder.
“Well, can't say as I know many fillies who would want to go to school,” Kelson said. He trotted further into the room and started getting Silver's school things ready. “Still, that don't stop ‘em going.”
“I'm sick,” Silver said.
“Mmmhm,” Kelson replied. He gathered her saddlebag and flipped it open. Yesterday's books were still inside, untouched. Kelson sighed. “Well, somethin's certainly wrong,” he said, taking a seat on the bed. “You've been 'sick' all week. It's not like you 'aven't been grounded before.”
Silver scooted further away from Kelson. “I'm not upset at being grounded,” she said. “I... I deserved that. I'm sick.”
Silver could feel Kelson's eyes on her, unconvinced and unimpressed. “Aye?” he asked. “Well, we can 'ave your sister come down. She seemed to help you get un-sick last time, if’n I recall.”
Silver winced. “No, Kelson,” she said. “I just... I just want to be alone right now, okay?”
“Alone with Nova?” Kelson asked, nudging the dog. Nova gave a barely lucid groan and rolled against Silver.
“Nova doesn't count,” Silver retorted.
“'Cause he's a dog?” Kelson asked.
“Because he doesn't ask so many questions!” Silver barked. She lifted a pillow to throw at Kelson, but her energy abandoned her halfway through. She groaned, flopping to the bed.
Kelson sighed, setting his hooves on his haunches, and hauled himself off the bed. “Well,” he said, “If that's the case I'd definitely be off to school, if I were you. Can't find anyplace more lonesome than a crowd, I always say. An' if y'stay around here, I'm just gonna ask you a lot more questions.”
Silver grumbled something that would have gotten her in trouble if her mother had heard, and dragged herself out of bed. “Okay,” she said.
Kelson held out her saddlebag, but pulled it back as Silver reached for it. “One last thing, Wee Miss,” he said.
Silver sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Okay,” she said. “What is it?”
Kelson's expression was soft, but his gaze was piercing, unfaltering. It lingered on Silver until she had to look away, which in truth was not very long. He placed a brawny hoof on her shoulder. “Y'ain't fooling anypony, Silver. We can all tell summat's the matter. An' aye, we've all got our guesses—some of us more'n others—but we ain't makin' any guesses just yet. Just... we're all here for you, if’n y'need us.” He seemed to have run out of words to say, tottering awkwardly on his hooves for a moment. He patted Silver's shoulder. “Point is, we care about you, and want y'to be ‘appy. If you talk t'us, maybe we can help, aye? But we won't make you if y'aint ready.”
Silver stared up at Kelson. A million barbs, retorts and brush-offs flashed behind her eyes, and each one made her more and more tired. In the end, all she could say was, “...Okay, Kelson. Thanks.”
Kelson breathed deeply, and handed Silver her saddlebags. “Aye,” he said. “It's what we're here for, I s’pose. Oh,” he picked up a brush from Silver's desk and handed it to her. “An' brush your mane. Y'look a fright. There's a good filly.”
Silver brushed and braided her mane in silence and slipped out one of the many back doors of the manor. Or perhaps it was a side door. She was never sure at the best of times, and she wasn't in a position to ponder on it this morning. She boarded the school carriage as it passed, skulking her way to the back. As usual, ponies opened up around her like a wake. When she sat down, a colt a year or two below her tried his best to sneak out past her, then bolted.
Silver sighed and pressed herself back into the sticky pleather seat. She thought about what Kelson had said. 'Talk to us'. She scoffed internally, although her heart wasn't in it. What would she even say? She would have to decide who she resented more, first.
Scootaloo boarded the bus, and Silver sank lower in her seat. She could feel hot, angry eyes on her as Scootaloo passed, but she had become used to it by now. Besides, she was far too busy wallowing to be concerned by it. Her eyes were locked on the door. In three years of middle school she had never bothered to keep track of what order the bus picked up students in. In three days she had learned it by heart. They were only three houses away from Sweetie's.
Silver had watched Sweetie get on the bus each day, and each day she had stayed silent. She still had no idea what she expected to happen, or what she wanted to happen. In some strange way a part of her expected Sweetie to appear before her, all smiles and giggles as usual, and sit down right beside her as if nothing had happened. Sweetie had forgiven her easily enough before, hadn't she? Yet every day Sweetie had slunk quickly past her. Quicker than Sweetie passed the other foals.
Today, however, was different. Not different because Sweetie talked to Silver, or even acknowledged her, but because the carriage passed Sweetie's house without slowing.
Silver sat up, staring out the window as they rolled by. They were definitely passing Sweetie's house, but the filly was nowhere to be seen. Silver adjusted her glasses and scoured the house as much she could in the moment before they slipped past. No lights were on. No doors were open. She chewed on her lip and continued to stare. Ideas flashed through her mind that were almost as unlikely as they were awful, but she could not stop the sinking feeling in her gut. She simply stared, enraptured by her own creeping guilt.
Eventually she managed to pull herself away from the window and breathed deeply. Sweetie must have been sick. Or with her sister. Or walking to school that day. Lots of ponies liked being out in the summer sun.
The oppressively hot summer sun and the sticky, sweaty humidity.
Silver chewed her lip and thumped her head against the window. Her fears and worries, temporarily assuaged, were back in force, and the hollow pit in her chest ached horribly. She turned, leaning against the window and the wall of the carriage. “Nnnng,” she groaned, clenching her eyes shut.
A heavy impact on the seat beside her jolted her up, almost knocking her head against the bar of the window. Silver gasped, her head snapping to look beside her. For the briefest of moments, Silver thought she saw white. Then in the next, her heart sank. “Oh,” she said. “It's you.”
“Well duh,” Diamond Tiara said, crossing her hind legs and getting comfortable. “Who else? What are you doing against that window, anyways? That thing is probably covered in germs.”
“... Nothing,” Silver said. She sighed again, leaning into the back of the seat. At least Diamond meant the ride to school was almost over. Unfortunately, it meant the rest of it was full of Diamond Tiara.
Diamond Tiara flipped her mane. “Well, whatever,” she said. “At least it's Friday. Ugh, why do four-day weeks always feel like they take longer than a normal week?” Silver didn't answer, so Diamond continued. “You're not grounded anymore, right?”
Silver hesitated. She could always lie, and say that her punishment had extended to the weekend. Eventually she admitted, “It's done tomorrow. I'm still grounded tonight.”
Diamond tutted loudly. “Boy, your parents sure are sticklers. Grounded for four days just because you went into some lousy room. Big whoop! It's not like anypony else went back there. I should know, I spent three days there.” She shivered and brushed a nonexistent scrap of something off her shoulder. “I'm still washing out the smell.”
“That wasn't the room; you just stink,” Silver muttered into the window.
“What?” Diamond asked.
“I said it was only supposed to be two,” Silver lied, “but it was supposed to be over the weekend. They moved it back and made it longer so I could spend time with Sweetie.”
Diamond pulled a face. “That's even worse. You got grounded for four days and had to spend three with Sweetie Belle. I take it back. Your parents aren't sticklers, they're just cruel.”
Silver rolled her eyes and scowled into the window. They were pulling into the school lot, thank goodness. “I chose to spend time with her,” Silver said. “So I could...” she struggled out the words, “get Sweetie to go into the back rooms.”
“Why?” Diamond asked. “Just yesterday you said she was practically ready to jump into The Phantom's mouth. Why would she need any extra convincing?”
Silver blinked and adjusted her glasses. “W-uh,” she stammered, “I-I mean, I didn't know that at first, obviously, and then, uh, I couldn't just back out.”
The carriage shuddered to a stop. Silver Spoon grabbed her saddlebag, slinging it over her back and shoving her way past Diamond Tiara.
“Whoa!” Diamond shouted as Silver knocked her back into the seat. “Watch it! What's your hurry?”
“School,” Silver snapped. She slipped down the hall as the other colts and fillies began to unpack from their seats, putting themselves between Silver and Diamond. Silver sighed. She was happy to put an end to the questioning. She was happy to be away from Diamond.
The students filed into the schoolhouse with an unmistakeable air of Friday-ness, parts both weary and gleeful. All save for Silver, who settled into her desk as she settled back into her funk. As unpalatable as she found Diamond these past few days, Silver had to admit that the filly made an excellent distraction from her bleak mood.
Today, at least, Silver had another distraction, although it was not a happy one. She craned her neck, searching the classroom for Sweetie Belle. There wasn't a scrap of white or pink to be seen. Silver watched the stream of students flowing in, but Sweetie wasn't among them either.
A few minutes later the school bell rang, signaling the beginning of class, but Sweetie Belle still had not arrived. Their teacher, an aged pegasus mare named Mrs. Strap, plodded to the front of the room.
“Books out, Foals,” she said in her usual gentle tone, “I know you're all excited for the weekend, but we have a busy day of reading, writing and arithmetic ahead of us!”
The dusty shuffle of two dozen desks and books being opened drowned out Silver's anguished groan. She searched the room once more, as though Sweetie might have smuggled in amid the crowd and sat at a different desk before Silver noticed her. She had not.
“... She must be sick,” Silver said.
“What?” Diamond whispered, looking back and Sweetie over her shoulder.
“What?” Silver asked in return.
“You said something,” Diamond said, rolling her eyes.
“No I didn't,” Silver lied.
“Something to share, fillies?” Mrs. Strap called out, tapping her hoof loudly on the floor. Both Silver and Diamond winced.
“No, Mrs. Strap,” they said in unison.
Mrs. Strap nodded. “Good,” she said. “We will be continuing our lesson on the 7th century After Founding. Please turn to page 237 of your textbooks...”
Diamond glowered at Silver, who turned away and let her head droop down.
Sweetie must be sick, Silver thought to herself once more. She adjusted her glasses. She would have been happy to end the train of thought there, but her mind ignored her wishes and carried on.
Sweetie was sick. Sick, as Silver had been sick this morning?The coincidence was undeniable. Silver told herself that it was unlike Sweetie, but she was unable to quell the voice inside her that said she had no idea how Sweetie would respond to this. After all, she had foolishly hoped that Sweetie would forgive her, and she had been wrong about that, too.
Deprived of Diamond Tiara's pestering, or any other distractions, Silver's mind lurked on all the worst possibilities. Some she wrote off out-of-hoof, of course, but other images lingered in her mind, try as she might to shoo them off. She wasn't certain if it was possible for a heart to break twice, but if it was hers was certainly on its way.
The cold pit returned in her chest, deeper and emptier than ever. She barely heard a word that Mrs. Strap said all morning, turning a page in her textbook only when she was called upon to read. Even then she floundered awkwardly as she tried to find their place, and bolted out the words so she could sit back down. By lunchtime she was exhausted from worrying alone.
Their release to the playground was sounded by the bell. Its heavy brass tolling struck Silver like a hammer as she slunk beneath it. She hung to the side to avoid being jostled by a crowd of animated colts and fillies making their way into the playground. Her legs felt like lead. She wanted to go home, and go to bed. She wondered idly if she could find some nice, quiet, shady place to nap through lunch. She wasn't hungry enough to bother eating.
She circled around behind the schoolhouse. The Whitetail Woods stretched out for miles behind it, and while the students were barred from going any further than the treeline, that didn't stop them from stretching the definition of treeline as much as possible on warmer days. Thankfully today was temperate, and most of the foals were happily eating and playing in the playground.
Silver could hardly hear them from back here. It was only in the silence that she realized what an awful din they had been making, how intolerable their noise was. The moment she sat in the shade she felt a tension drain away from her shoulders and neck. She breathed out and let her eyes drift shut.
“What are you doing here?” a raspy filly's voice demanded.
Silver Spoon groaned and opened an eye. Scootaloo loomed above her, silhouetted by the noonday sun. If Silver had still had the energy she might have felt intimidated by the filly, who had developed an undeniable brawn in the past two years. Silver sighed. “I just wanted to sit somewhere quiet,” she said. “It's a f...” she trailed off, and even she was unsure if she had thought better of snarking at Scootaloo or if she simply didn't care enough to finish. “I'm... sorry,” she said. “Am I in your way?”
Scootaloo blinked, clearly taken aback. Apple Bloom appeared beside her, wits intact and a suspicious frown on her face.
“We always have lunch here,” Apple Bloom said. “But... you can use another tree. If you're quiet.”
“Okay,” Silver said. She got to her hooves, a labourious project as her exhaustion set into her back and legs. Still, she managed to stand upright just long enough to stump her way to a nearby tree. She leaned against it, sliding away to the ground, and sighed once more. She neither noticed, nor would have cared about, Apple Bloom's lingering gaze on her.
Silver curled up in the shade. She tried to focus on the sound of the rustling leaves, and for a time it worked. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were talking, but their voices were hushed and distant. Their conversation was an intense one, however, judging by how Scootaloo's murmurs gradually evolved into a mutter, and to a hiss. Even without trying, Silver was beginning to pick up snippets.
“We'll just go check on her after school,” Apple Bloom murmured
“Like that'll help! I mean yeah, okay, it'll help, but it's not like...” Scootaloo's hiss trailed off, leaving behind a pregnant pause. Silver's skin prickled as though she were being stared at, but he ignored it and listened closer. “We should do something.”
“It wouldn't make her feel any better,” Apple Bloom said flatly.
“I think it would.”
“Ah think it'd make you feel better.”
“Okay, so?” Scootaloo said defensively. “It wouldn't do any harm, and it'd be nice to do for her.”
“Not sure you'n Ah have the same definition of nice here, Scoots,” Apple Bloom retorted. “Anyhow, there's no point if it don't make Sweetie feel better.”
Silver's ear twitched, and she sat up. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stopped sharply, staring at her. Silver stared back.
Scootaloo broke the stalemate. “Were you listening to us?” she demanded. “That was private!”
“I...” Silver said. She felt as though she should have a comeback, but all she could think to say was, “I'm sorry.” She looked down and rubbed her face before looking back up at the pair of fillies. “Are you talking about Sweetie Belle? Is she sick?”
“What's it to you?” Scootaloo asked. She flared her diminutive wings, an attempted threat that Silver might have found comical a few days ago. Even now Silver was far from intimidated.
Apple Bloom put a hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder and stepped around her. “That'll do, Scoots,” she said. She turned back to Silver and said, “We dunno. She just didn't come in. We think she might be, but...” the look on Apple Bloom's face told Silver everything she needed to know. Of course Sweetie Belle had told them.
Silver lowered her head. “Oh... okay,” she said. “Uh... When you see her, could you, um... I hope she's feeling okay.” She shuffled a hoof awkwardly along the ground.
Scootaloo snorted. “Yeah, right,” she said.
Apple Bloom stared at Silver for a while, shifting her jaw back and forth. Finally she said, “Tell her yourself.”
Silver's heart clutched for just a moment, but in truth she had expected little better. “Okay,” she said. “That's... fair.”
“No,” Apple Bloom said, shaking her head. “I'm serious. Tell her yourself. Come see her with us and let her know.”
“What?” Scootaloo asked.
“What?” Silver echoed. For a moment she felt nothing. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say she felt too many things. Her mind reeled in confusion from the sentiment. “Are you serious?”
“I'm with her, Bloom,” Scootaloo said. “Are you serious?”
“I am,” Apple bloom said. “If it looks like you just want to make fun of her we can always take it back. But I think we should give her the chance.”
“Why?” Scootaloo asked with a grimace. Apple Bloom merely gestured to Silver vaguely. Scootaloo followed her gesture, looking Silver Spoon up and down. “...She's a good liar,” Scootaloo said.
“Scoots,” Apple Bloom began, but Scootaloo threw up her hooves.
“But fine!” Scootaloo said. “If you want to!” She turned to Silver and added, “But I'll be keeping an eye on you.”
“R-really?” Silver said. “You'll really let me come see her?” If she was with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, she could see Sweetie again. She still didn't believe it, even as Apple Bloom nodded her agreement. If Apple Bloom and Scootaloo took Silver, Silver could apologize—Sweetie might forgive her. She felt her heart begin to pound faster and faster as her body finally decided on excitement. She nearly danced. “Thank you!” she said. She had to fight the urge to grab Apple Bloom's hoof. She was full of a sudden and unbridled energy. “I'm supposed to be grounded today, but her house is on the way to mine...” she chewed her lip. “If... if things turn out okay, do you think maybe I could visit her for just a bit tonight, and then see her more tomorrow?”
Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow. “Ah said you could see how she's doin', not hang out with her,” she said. “But that's Sweetie's choice t'make, not mahn. Jus' meet us in front of the schoolhouse after school and we'll go see her.” She looked up, over Silver's head, and her eyes narrowed. “An' don't bring her. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but Ah ain't dumb.”
“Huh?” Silver asked, looking over her shoulder. Her excitement faltered. Diamond Tiara was on her way over to them.
“There you are!” Diamond Tiara declared as she arrived. “I've been looking everywhere for you. You got lost in a crowd and you disappear for twenty minutes?” She rolled her eyes.
“Oh... hi, Diamond,” Silver said. Her excitement faded, but did not disappear. Not even Diamond could take this away from her. “I just came back her to sit in the shade.”
Diamond rolled her eyes even harder. “There's shade in the playground, you know,” she said. She huffed, looking around the small clearing between the treeline and the schoolhouse. “Still. Not bad here.”
“Ugh, great,” Scootaloo muttered.
Diamond's ears twitched, and she turned to Scootaloo. “Oh,” she said. “You two are here too.”
“You were lookin' right at us when you came here,” Apple Bloom said.
Diamond carried on as if Apple Bloom hadn't spoken at all. “What are you two doing back here?” she asked. “Nopony to play goody four-shoes for?”
“We always come back here!” Scootaloo said, flapping her wings so furiously she hovered for a moment, kicking up dust. “And we don't play goody four-shoes, we help out the younger colts and fillies!”
“Like we helped you out, once,” Apple Bloom added.
Diamond grimaced, brushing dirt off her forelegs. “Yeah, right,” she snorted. “Like you were serous two years ago. You're the same as back then. Well... you might have gotten a bit smarter, Apple Bloom,” she offered, with a smile that made Apple Bloom reel back. “But your friends haven't.”
Silver stepped forward, raising a hoof. “Uh, Diamond, I think that's—”
Diamond took a step towards, puffing out her chest like a proud pink pigeon. “Sweetie Belle sure fell for our trick like she would have two years ago.” She laughed. “Heck, she fell for it like a weanling would have. In fact I think I've met weanlings smarter than her.”
Now Silver's excitement faded. Or rather it froze, dropping into her stomach like a brick. “Diamond!” she hissed, grabbing the filly's shoulder. “Cut it out!”
“What's your problem?” Scootaloo demanded, jabbing Diamond in the chest.
Diamond swatted her hoof away. “Don't touch me,” she snarled. “And my problem is that you three take yourselves so seriously. You're all high and mighty about helping ponies do something they're supposed to do on their own, like everypony else! You prance around like you're so smart, but you're just dumb foals like the rest of them.”
“But not like you,” Apple Bloom said dryly.
Diamond Tiara smirked and flipped back her mane. “What can I say?” she said. “Some ponies are born to lead, and some ponies are born to follow... and some ponies are born stupid.”
“Diamond!” Silver said, shaking Diamond's shoulder. Diamond shook her off.
“Say hello to your little friend for me,” Diamond said with a sickeningly sweet smile and wave. “I'd ask you to tell me the look on her face, but it honestly couldn't be any better than the expression she had on when she finally figured out Silver had been playing her like a fiddle.”
Silver winced. “Please,” she begged.
“This was low even for you,” Scootaloo shouted over Silver. She leaped at Diamond. Apple Bloom held her back—though it was clear she was mulling it over herself.
“What's low was Sweetie Belle's ears,” Diamond laughed, turning her back on their pair. “She looked like somepony told her Hearthswarming was made up.”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo fumed. “Come on, Scoots,” Apple Bloom said. “Ain't no point keepin' this up. Let's go eat lunch somwhere else. And you!” She pointed an accusatory hoof at Silver, who started back. “You can forget about comin' with us after school. You don't deserve t'see her.” She turned on her heel, pulling Scootaloo with her around the school house.
Once again, Silver's energy drained away. Her knees wobbled, and she leaned against a tree. The coldness inside returned. “Why did you do that?” she murmured.
“What?” Diamond asked. “Speak up.”
“Why did you do that?” Silver repeated, gesturing weakly in the direction Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had left in. “They didn't do anything to you!”
Diamond flipped her mane. “I like taking them down a peg now and then. Who cares? They don't.” She paused, and looked Silver up and down. “What's your problem, anyways? You've been moping all week. Being grounded can't be that bad; it's not like you haven't got anything to do in that room of yours.”
Silver blinked. Her mouth fell open. Somewhere deep inside of her that coldness turned hot; a mere spark of flame in a great cavern of ice. “Y-you...” she said. The flame grew and grew, until her belly boiled over with anger. “What's the matter with me!? What's the matter with you!?” She stood away from the tree, marching over to Diamond. To her credit, Diamond at least had the decency to appear shocked.
“Do you not pay attention? Or are you just stupid?” Silver demanded. She waved a hoof. “Nevermind, don't answer that. I already know the answer: It's both!”
“Wh-ah,” Diamond said, but Silver cut her off. It was Silver's turn to talk.
“What do you think is the problem, Diamond? I mean it—think! For once, think, about someone who isn't you. I've been moping all week—ever since we played the trick on Sweetie Belle. Don't you think maybe, just maybe, I feel absolutely awful about that?” She clutched her chest, her cheeks turning red with anger. “Why don't you feel bad about this too? How can you act like it's nothing? We crushed her, Diamond! You have no idea how hurt she was... how much it hurt to do it. She didn't deserve what we did. Nobody deserves that, but especially not her. She's just a sweet filly who's never done anything to us.”
“You—you're serious?” Diamond said, recovering herself. She laughed. “You actually feel bad? Over a dumb joke that she took too seriously? Why? I mean okay, maybe I took it too far with the fire charms, but come on.”
“Because she cared about me!” Silver shouted, jabbing Diamond's chest with a hoof. “Which is more than you ever did for me! Even though I've never done anything to her but be a jerk, even though she had no reason to trust me last weekend, when I lied to her, she believed me. When I said I wanted to try and get along, she thought I was serious. And she trusted me, and she believed in me...” Silver blinked through stinging, blurred eyes. She swallowed hard and fought down the tears.
“She was so nice to me,” Silver said. “She didn't laugh at me for being afraid of Phantom of the Opera. And she didn't think it was weird that I like to dance. She—she thought it was great! She even liked it when I was sarcastic!” Silver choked down a sob. “She liked me, and I... really liked her too. I really wanted to be her friend. I think I wanted to be her girlfriend.”
Silver swallowed again. The fire in her gut had burned down to coals. Subdued, but still white-hot. “She believed in me. She thought that I was brave, and funny, and smart, and special... and she made me believe it, too. But you ruined everything. I ruined everything, by not being brave enough to stand up to you and come clean. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being a jerk. I'm sick of you.”
The words hung in the air. Tears rimmed Silver's eyes, threatening to fall, but she held them back. She wouldn't give Diamond the satisfaction. The school bell began to ring, and Silver turned away from Diamond.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Silver Spoon was only vaguely aware of Mrs. Strap's afternoon lessons. Even when called on to read she moved automatically. She had no room for awareness; she was too preoccupied by an immaculate misery.
Eventually the day ended. The students filed out, laughing and chatting happily in anticipation of the weekend. Some made for the school carriage, eager to get home and unwind. Others met with friends and headed into the town, anxious to find some fun or mischief—or both, as was likely the case.
All except for Silver. She hung behind in the schoolhouse, making a show of gathering her things while she waited for the others to go. Even Diamond left, although Silver did not see where the pink filly had gone.
When everypony else had left Silver finally made her way outside, looking around warily for anypony who might start an unwanted conversation. There was little to worry about there, of course. Apart from Diamond, nopony had ever really been interested in talking to her. True to form, nopony approached her. If they saw her at all, they made room for her to walk unmolested or, in the case of Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, glared threateningly at her.
She could no longer find it in herself to be hurt by their glares. Her misery had cooled, congealing into a sticky black weight that hung on her heart and made everything taste like smoke. She returned them a sad look and turned down the path through town.
On an ordinary day the walk home would have taken no more than fifteen minutes. Of course, on a normal day Silver would have taken the carriage. Today, however, her hooves dragged with every step. Even going right home, as she still knew she must, she took twice as long. Perhaps even three times. She would have to apologize to Kelson. Or perhaps she would let him think she had deliberately hung back, and risk him extending her grounding. It was not as if she would do anything aside from sleep all weekend either way.
As at school, she was far too consumed by her own desolation to notice her surroundings—for example, the muffled shuffling sounds coming from behind the front door. She twisted the door handle and the door flew open, propelled by the weight of a massive Newfoundland Dog. Nova collapsed on top of Silver, knocking the air out of her lungs with a loud wuffle.
` Silver gunted from shock. “Nova?” she asked, coughing.
“Wurf!” Nova responded. He placed a paw on Silver's chest and began to lick her face, refusing to stop until Silver began to giggle from the tickling.
“Nova!” Silver chastised. She sighed and wrapped the dog in a hug. Her funk had faded away enough for her to think again, and she said, “Were you waiting her for me because I was late?”
Nova yawned widely.
Silver chuckled sadly and pressed her face into Nova's hackles. “I'm sorry, Nova,” she said. “Thanks for being here... you really do know whenever something is wrong, huh? I was late 'cause... I didn't have the energy to walk faster.”
Nova groaned inquisitively and sat up, pulling Silver up along with him.
“I got into a fight with Diamond Tiara,” Silver explained. “I know I've been mad at her all week, and I know it's for the best, but I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore. I know she wasn't a very good friend, but...” She swallowed as a lump began to form in her throat. “She was the only friend I had!”
Nova barked, and in spite of herself Silver laughed. “I'm sorry, you're right,” she said. “You're my friend too, Nova. You're my best friend.” Her smile faded from quivering lips. “You're my only friend, now.” Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face. Try as she might, she could not stop them. “I... I had a chance with S-weetie Belle, but I p-pushed her away. And now I pushed... Di-Diamond Tiara aw-way too...” she sobbed, pressing her face into Nova's fur. All the tears from that afternoon—from the whole week—flooded through, soaking Nova's coat and Silver's cheeks. She pressed her face into him to muffle her choking and wailing, as if the thick black fur could stop the hurting. Vaguely, distantly, she felt a brawny pair of hooves lift her gently onto Nova's back. Nova walked, carrying the still-sobbing Silver along with him.
Eventually the tears stopped, long after Nova had settled down. Silver lay still for a while. She had spent as much energy as tears, and now all she was was tired. Too tired to move. Too tired to care. To her dismay, however, she was not too tired to be sad.
She sighed and breathed deeply. In addition to the smell of wet dog, the vaguely salty musk of Kelson was with her. She turned her head and peered up at him. Nova had taken her to her room, and Kelson was perched on the edge of her bed, shuffling through records.
“Hallo, Silver,” he said. “Just tryin' to find summat to put on to make you feel better.” He scratched his head. “Can't say as I know what any of 'em are, though. More of a tin whistle and squeezebox stallion, meself.”
“Hi, Kelson,” Silver said. She sniffled and rested her head against Nova's. “... How much did you hear?”
“The lot of it,” Kelson said. “Nova ain't a quiet dog, an' I came to see what all the hubbub was.” He put down the records and ran a hoof through Silver's mane. “I ain't gonna ask you what'cha didn't tell us for, cause I think we both know. But'cha could've done, y'know.”
“I know,” Silver said. “But... I don't see how it would have helped at all anyways.”
“Aye, that'd surprise you,” Kelson said, bobbing his head back and forth. “You never know what it'll do until you try, aye? Why don't we talk now?”
Silver sighed. “Why bother?” She asked, turning away from him. “The damage is already done. I know what I did, but there's no way for me to take it back.”
“What'd you do, then?” Kelson asked. Silver turned to stare at him and he lifted a hoof, adding, “I know y'pushed away all your friends. What I'm askin' is, what'd you do t'do that?”
“I,” Silver said, staring down at Nova. “I told Diamond Tiara that I didn't want to be her friend anymore, because... because she kept on giving me bad ideas, and making me do bad stuff and I finally realized it. Or... maybe I just finally got tired of not standing up to her.” The lump was returning, but she fought it down. “And I pushed Sweetie away by hurting her, and pulling a prank on her, because I wasn't brave enough to stop the prank until it was too late.”
Kelson considered this, shifting his jaw back and forth. “Something, ain't it?” he commented. “Alright, then. So if’n you could go back, do it again... well, no, y'can't. So for next time, then? How'd you stop it? What would you do different?”
Silver whimpered and fought back tears. “I'd try to be brave. I'd tell Sweetie Belle about the prank right away. Or... or tell Diamond that it was cruel, and we had to stop.”
“There you go, then,” Kelson said. “You'd talk to them, aye? So maybe talkin' does solve some problems.”
“Maybe next time,” Silver said. “But it's too late to change anything.” she turned away from Kelson again. “There's nothing I can do to bring Sweetie back.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Kelson said. “Talkin' does solve problems, after all. Aye, she might not want to listen. You might ‘ave to give Sweetie some time. I'll bet'cha Diamond would be willing to listen right off, though.”
Silver's sadness flared into anger once again, and she buried her face into Nova's fur. “I don't want to have her back!” she snapped. “She was awful. She never cared about me, she just wanted somepony to help her do her dirty work. Or to hold up a mirror so she could preen herself.”
There was a pause while Silver fumed. “Aye?” Kelson asked. “Seems like a lot of effort to go through, then. She was clean outta breath. Poor thing must've ran the whole way here.”
Another pause. “What?” Silver asked, pulling her face out of Nova.
“Wee Miss Diamond,” Kelson said. “Showed up her near on forty minutes a'fore you did. Had to stop her sittin' on the front step like a dog to wait for you.” He gestured to the door, and Silver followed her hoof. “She told me about your fight. I've 'ad her waitin' outside your door... figured you might need a minute before you was wanting to see her. Y'can come in now, Wee Miss Diamond,” he shouted.
The door creaked open, and Diamond slunk through.
Silver sat up, slipping down off of Nova's back and onto the bed. She stared at Diamond, unsure of what to think. So she simply folded her hooves and asked, “What are you doing here?”
If nothing else, Diamond had found the decency to look rueful. She pawed at the floor. “I... never realized how upset you were,” she said. “I didn't want to say anything at School because I know you hate having ponies pay attention to you, and I didn't want us to make a scene or anything, and I knew if I tried to follow you after School you'd lock yourself in here, so I thought if I could beat you home...”
Silver Spoon blinked. She dropped back into Nova, who was turned to appraise Diamond. Judging by his blasé expression he was withholding judgment. Silver followed his lead. Still...
“Do you... really feel that way about me?” Diamond Tiara asked.
Silver opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. She looked away. Eventually she managed to say, “Yes. We always do what you want to do. You never ask what I want. And... maybe I haven't had a whole lot of objections, but it seems like you just assume I'll always march to your beat. I felt like I was just... your sidekick. Like a sidekick, and I could have been anypony. Like I wasn't important to you as a pony. You didn't even know why I was upset all week.”
Diamond stared down at her hooves, as though inspecting them. Nova's ears perked up, and he snuffled at the air.
“I guess I do do that,” Diamond said. She was silent for a while. Her mouth hung open, brow furrowed as she grappled with her words. Eventually she said, “I'm sorry.”
Silver blinked again, and Diamond Tiara continued.
“You're right,” Diamond said, “I did do all that. But... it isn't because I don't care about you. It's because I thought that's what you wanted. Or at least that you were okay with it.” She waved her hooves vaguely. “When we were younger you were always so... shy, and you hated getting into fights. You were always so noncommittal about everything, so I just thought... that you wanted me to make the decisions on my own.”
Nova had begun to pant happily. Silver rubbed her neck. “I guess...” she said softly, “I guess I kind of did, at first. I didn't really do much to make you think otherwise...”
“I shouldn't have taken it for granted, though,” Diamond insisted. “I should have known that you might have changed your mind, and asked once in a while. Or maybe...” she grimaced and looked up. “Maaaaybe I should have asked you to take the lead more.” She took a slow step towards Silver, as if afraid she would snap again, and said, “I really do care about you, Silver. You're my best friend. I'm guess... I’m just a pretty lame friend. I’m sorry.”
It was Silver's turn to look at her hooves. She sighed, and leaned back into Nova. “I guess,” she said, “Maybe you're not as bad as all that. I mean, you apologized, so I guess that counts for something. But, maybe from now on...” She laughed weakly and adjusted her glasses. “Well, I guess I'm still really bad at having my own ideas.”
Diamond giggled. She trotted to the bed and put a hoof on Silver's shoulder. “I don't know,” she said. “You stood up to me. I think you're pretty good at it.”
Silver smiled and adjusted her glasses. “Thanks,” she said.
Diamond smiled back. “Are we friends again?”
“Yeah,” Silver said, rolling her eyes. “Friends.” She paused for a moment, then hugged Diamond.
“I'm glad,” Diamond said. “Cause can I just say, as your friend—Sweetie Belle? Seriously?” She waved her hooves when Silver scowled at her and added, “I’m sorry! I just… Don’t get it.”
“She was... nice,” Silver said. “I liked being around her. And she made me feel... well, she made me feel kind of like a jerk, to be honest.”
Diamond cocked an eyebrow. “And that's a good thing?” she asked.
Silver laughed weakly and turned to snuggle into Nova's fur. “It was with her,” she said. “She didn't do anything to make me feel bad about it. That's just it. She made me want to be better. She liked me even though I'd always been mean to her. Once I realized just how much we'd been hurting her, and Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom... I wanted to be the pony who she thought I could be.” She sighed, looking down. “I don't want to be a jerk.”
“You’re not a jerk,” Diamond Tiara said. “We’re not… that bad.”
“Aren’t we?” Silver asked. “We make fun of ponies all the time. What we did to Sweetie was really mean, and I wouldn’t have even thought about it if she hadn’t been nice to me. How many other ponies feelings did we hurt?”
Diamond Tiara hunched her shoulders and looked at the ceiling. “That’s… those three don’t care.”
“Yes they do,” Silver insisted. “We hurt Sweetie really bad, Diamond. And we probably hurt a lot of other ponies just as bad. Or worse.”
“We were just… having fun,” Diamond floundered.
“Nopony else was,” Silver said.
They were silent, for a time. The only sound was Nova panting, and Kelson casually flipping through records.
“How did we wind up like this, Diamond?” she asked. “Weren't we supposed to be better than this, once?”
“I don't know,” Diamond said. “I thought we... being good is hard. We tried.”
“Did we really?” Silver asked.
Once again they were silent.
“No,” Diamond finally conceded.
“Well then let’s try, this time,” Silver said. Diamond peered at her and Silver said, “Let's actually try to be good. Lets try to make it up to everypony. For their sake, instead of just doing stuff for us.”
“Like... what?” Diamond asked, wringing her hooves.
“I dunno,” Silver said with a shrug. “Like... I dunno. We should at least stop playing pranks and making fun of ponies. Maybe we could apologize to everypony?”
“To Sweetie Belle?”
Silver blushed. “To everypony,” she said. “I don't want to do something just for Sweetie because I like her, I want to actually be good. But... yes, I want to apologize to Sweetie. And I will.” She rubbed her forelegs and sighed. “Just... not for a little while.”
“I'd do it sooner a'fore later,” Kelson offered.
Silver turned to Kelson and shook her head. “No,” she said. “I... don't think I can right now. If Apple Bloom and Scootaloo had brought me, maybe, but... I'm all out of chances.”
“If you don't talk to her soon, sure.” Kelson returned. “But if you apologize to her right off? I think she'll forgive you.”
Silver was unconvinced, but she faltered. “You... really think so?” she asked.
“You forgave me,” Diamond Tiara pointed out.
“That's different,” Silver insisted. “I... wanted to be your friend, I just didn't think you actually cared about me.”
“Aye,” Kelson said. “An' so does Sweetie. Right now you're hurtin', and feelin' guilty, and you want’a make things right. I can guarantee you that she feels the same way. Did the whole while. Right now, more'n anything in the whole world she wants you to apologize, so she can go back to lovin' you.” He grinned. “Never been a stallion alive who could tell when a mare was smitten with him. Why should mares know any better?”
Silver's face flushed. “You think... she likes me?” she asked. “Even now?”
“She loved you then,” he said. “I figure if’n you apologize, and if’n you show her how much you mean it, you'll get another chance.”
Silver rubbed her chest. The tar on her heart seemed to melt away, leaving it free to beat once again. And beat it did, as hard and strong as she'd ever felt. The warmth of excitement spread through her. “But how can I show her?” she asked.
“You know,” Kelson said. “Y'just gotta speak to her heart, aye? Tell her a way that means somethin' to her.”
“A way that means something to her,” Silver echoed. A imagine began to form in her mind. A mask, a song, a dance. She imagined a symphony of sorries, an opera of apologies. She imagined a Phantom, dark but not evil, and a beautiful actress. Her heart pounded in her chest, so hard it threatened to make her swoon. Or perhaps it was just that she had not eaten all day. She grinned from ear to ear. “I know how,” she said.