//------------------------------// // McColt Fires One Out to Left Hooffield, and It's Going, Going... Gone! // Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess // by Tired Old Man //------------------------------// Dear Fluttershy, So I took a walk out to my garden this afternoon. Got some fresh air, enjoyed the warm breeze, the usual good vibes I get from trotting among the aged statues, trimmed bushes, and freshly-watered trees. You know, the usual Sunday nature appreciation hour. Or maybe you didn’t know. Doesn’t matter. Soon, I stumbled across some of the garden birds gathered around the birdbath, with Sunny sitting square in the middle. At first, I thought it was just another birdbath problem I’d spend twenty or so minutes telling her NOT to do, but she would do it again a week later like I never told her anything. And sometimes when you deal with someone as persistent as yourself (perhaps even more so), you learn to just take it at face value and move on to more important matters. But this was different. Very different. They were reading. And they weren’t just reading any ordinary book, unless you consider To Feed a Mockingbird standard reading material for birds of all shapes and sizes, from the humble finch to my darling Philomena. Even Shadebeak was hanging upside-down in a nearby tree, holding a copy in its flesh-rending talons. And I swear it wore Luna’s reading glasses. Why do I write this letter to you, then? Because Sunny told me that a little birdie told her a squirrel said a big brown bear talked about a book club you had hosted with your animals today, and Sunny thought it would be a fantastic idea to spread such love of literacy within the garden. And so, for her sake, I’d like you to write back on what book will be covered next week. Or even a variety of books to choose from, so they’ll have options. I haven’t quite seen Sunny this excited for something since her honeymoon with... “Eggie Eight-Layer”, as she called him. Hrm, speaking of that, I haven’t seen Eggie today… anyway, please respond within a few days, if you can. The sooner they get some book ideas to read, the less Sunny will pester me about it. Sincerely, Princess Celestia P.S. Do not suggest The Raven, please. Luna found that and spent a full week knocking on my chamber door--I’d rather it happened nevermore. Oh for crying out loud! Luna, I’ve had it up to here with your rapping and-- ...that is one massive cake. How did it even get up here? I-It’s not my birthday, is it?! No, I’m sure it’s not today. Well, I suppose it won’t do to leave it out here in the hall, and it is snack time… Hm, now how should I cut into this--GAH! Hmm… tastes like cream cheese. This isn’t any normal cupcake sneak attack. It’s red velvet. Well, if you two hooligans want to be THAT serious, I need to bring out the big guns. Luna! Ready the bowls and egg beaters! I must secure the kitchen before they raid it for more ammunition!