//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3: Anthropology 
// Story: Equestria's Rifleman 
// by Cheesecake404 
//------------------------------//


Anthropology




David's eyes slowly opened as he woke up. He got out of his hammock and stretched his limbs. He lit a lantern and look at his watch, Six o'clock as usual.

David began his morning routine, he inspected the wall around his camp to see if anything had tried to get in, but everything looked normal. He then check the water level in in the water tanks, It should be filled, but if all goes well, I won't be living here for much longer. Besides, it can still go another day or two before I absolutely need to fill it.

After he was done with his inspections, he built a fire and ate. David looked at his watch again, Well, that took all of thirty minutes. David sat there for a moment and started tapping a finger on his leg, Oh! I know!

David got up and went into the plane, I'll show them some of the things I've collected. David grabbed his backpack and started sifting through his things, My old iPod? The battery's dead, but I could still show it to them. What else? Books! Let's see... David dug around in his book box, I know I saw it in- ah ha! There it is! David pulled out an American history book, There are still a lot of other good choices in here: October Sky, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Time Machine, 20,000 Leagues, and Romeo and Juliet. Though... they probably wouldn't understand them without a little history behind them.

One other book got David’s attention as he picked it up, My sketch book... He opened it and look through it, It's been awhile since I've looked through this... Maybe I should bring this too... He stopped mid thought as he reached one of the drawings, Now I remember why I put this away. He closed it and put it back in the box. That memory still hurts too much. David shook his head to clear his mind. Well, there's really nothing else here, I guess. Now, it's time to check the vans.

David went back outside and over to the vans. Once they were open, he looked around, Wow, I never realize how much crap I actually collected, He thought after he opened the first one and looked through it. He then look through the other, More crap... I just realized all the stuff is pretty useless... well, except for the gold, silver, and jewelry.

David closed up the vans, So, the only thing I have to show them that's substantial is a history book. Well, I guess that's better than nothing. David checked his watch one last time, Wow, that took more time than I thought. He had an hour left, I should get going.


_________________________________


Applejack stood outside the forest entrance, waiting for her friends to show up. Fluttershy was the first one to arrive, “Hello, Applejack. You're here early,” she said.

“Howdy, Fluttershy. I just thought that since I got my mornin' chores done, I'd wait for y’all.”

“I see. So, how's Apple Bloom?”

“She's fine, doc says it's just a sprain, and she'll be running 'round again in no time.”

The two talked a bit more about various small things when they heard something coming from the forest. Fluttershy hid behind Applejack as a shadowy figure exited the forest.

“Hi, Applejack,” David said as he approached the girls, causing Fluttershy came out of her hiding spot, “Hello, Fluttershy.”

“Howdy, David,” Applejack said with the tip of her hat.

“Good morning,” Fluttershy said.

“I see I'm not the only early one,” David said as he engage the safety on his weapon.

“What ya got there?” Applejack asked pointing to the weapon. It was slightly longer than the shotgun he had shown them yesterday, it was also sleeker and was mostly made of wood with metal set in it.

“Oh, this is my rifle. It's what I've been using to keep you guys safe.”

“How many of these things do you have?” Applejack asked.

“Just the three.”

“So, what makes that one special?”

“Well, rifles have longer range and are far more accurate than a shotgun. This model is call a Mosin-Nagant, and I've used it for years. I'm pretty good with it. I can hit a target at 300 yards.”

“Really? That far?” Applejack said with skepticism.

“Yes, this gun has a max range of up to a thousand, but I would need a scope if I wanted to even come close to hitting anything at that distance, but enough about my gun. Where are the rest of your friends?”

“They should get here soon.”

“Okay then. By the way, how's Apple Bloom?”

“She's fine. By the way, my granny wants to meet you and thank you for keeping her safe.”

“I'll be happy to meet her.”

“Meet who?” Pinkie said, appeared from seemingly nowhere, giving everyone a slight scare.

“Hey, Pinkie, I was just telling David that Granny Smith wanted to meet him.”

“That sounds nice. Oh, here!” Pinkie revealed a basket for cupcakes, “Yesterday, I forgot to bring something sweet! Like, how is that even possible? Probably because I was so excited I wasn't thinking straight. Can you believe that?”

“Do you really want me to answ-” before David could finish his sentence, Rainbow flew in and tackled him to the ground.

“Ha, gotcha!” She said, standing up.

“What was that for?” David shouted angrily at her.

“I was just having a bit of fun.”

“Fine. Whatever. Just don't do that again. I'm not made of rubber.”

Twilight and Rarity showed up shortly after, Twilight looking a little uneasy. “Hi, David,” Twilight said nervously, “Do you think we could see where you've been staying?”

“I guess... why?”

“Well, I'm curious... also, there's something else, but I'll explain that later. Right now, we should go... like, right now!”

“Um, Twilight you're kind of scaring me.”

“Oh my Celestia! It really is a human!” Came a voice from behind Twilight.

David saw a mint green unicorn run up to him. Before he could say or do anything, he felt something surrounding him and lift him off the ground an inch or two. It didn't take him long to realize he couldn't move as a golden aura surrounded him. Well... shit.

“I can't believe it. An honest to Celestia human!” The minty mare said. As she got close to David and started playing with his limbs, “Their skeletal structure and articulation seem very similar to ours.” She then moved to his head, “The eyes are similar to ours as well, and a pretty blue color. The ears and nose are also quite unique, nothing at all like what I was expecting.” She open David's mouth and looked inside, “Its front teeth look like they're meant for ripping and shredding, but the rear teeth look like they're from grinding... as I expected, humans are omnivores!”

The mare lifted up his shirt next, “It seems to have nice muscular structure, and humans have nipples interesting.” She said as she felt around, David's chest.

“Um, Lyra?” Twilight said, trying to get the mare's attention, but she was too focused on David to hear her.

“Now, let's see what you are,” Lyra said as her hand reached below his belt.

She better not be doing what I think she's... David couldn't finish his thought as Lyra grab his genitals. What the fuck!

“Oooh, it’s a male, and he seems to be healthy.”

How the fuck do you know that?!

“Lyra!” Twilight shouted at her, breaking concentration and ending her spell.

David was relieved at first, until he realize that he had been in the air, and his legs had been moved, so he was unable to stop himself from falling.

“What, Twilight? I'm trying to conduct some-”

“What the fuck, lady!?” David yell at Lyra once he was standing back up, “Seriously, what the fuck!?”

Lyra turned to face David. Her ears had flattened against her head when she saw the anger on his face, “I, I was just trying to...”

“I don't care! You don't just walk up to someone and start feeling them up! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I... I just...” Lyra broke down and started crying, “I'm sorry. I...” Was all she said before she continued sobbing.

Great, this is just what I needed, David thought, as he massaged one of his temples. He looked around and saw the others were looking at him, “What?”

Twilight walked over to him, “Look, I'm not saying what she did was right, nor am I saying you don't have a right to be mad, but...”

“I will not apologize for being sexually assaulted!”

“I'm not asking you to. It's just, studying humans is her lifelong passion, and she got a little carried away...”

“A little?”

“Look, what I'm trying to say is she's not a bad pony, and if you give her a chance, you may become friends. It would mean the world to her if you could help her research, even if it's the smallest of things, like what your hometown was like. So, what do you say? Can you forgive her?”

*Sigh* “Yeah, I can forgive her.” Once David had calmed down, he did feel bad that he had made her cry. He walked over to her, “Look, you know what you did was not okay, right?” She nodded. “And you're sorry for what you did, right?” She nodded again, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes. “Then, I forgive you.”

She smiled and threw her arms around him in a hug then quickly let him go, “Sorry.”

“That's fine. Just ask next time you want to touch me.” David looked back at Twilight, “Do you still want to see where I live?”

“Yes, I would actually.”

David turned to Lyra, “Do you want to come along, too?”

“Y-yes, please.”

Then, against my better judgment. “Alright. You can come along.”

Lyra smiled from ear to ear. “Okay then. Let's get going.” David said as he took his rifle and disengaged the safety.

“What's that?” Lyra asked.

“I'll explain on the way.” David led them through the forest, stopping occasionally to check their surroundings before moving on. Eventually, they came to the metal wall that surrounded his camp, and a dark red mist flowed over it from the lanterns on the other side.

“Um, David what's with the lanterns?” Twilight asked.

“A little something from Zecora. The mist they release helps to keep the monsters away.” David replied as he moved to open the doors, “Before we go in, I would ask that you please don't touch anything without asking first, okay?” The girls nodded, and David proceeded to open the door.

Once they stepped inside, the girls took in the surroundings. Lyra was the first in and ran around the camp, looking at all the things strewn about it. “What's that? What's this? What's that thing? What's that for? What does this thing do?” She said as she ran around.

David just stood there, waiting for her to tire herself out so he could actually answer a few of those questions. Once she did, David motioned for them to follow him to his fire pit. He then proceeded to build a fire and motioned for them to sit down.

“Alright now, let's start with the obvious, the big metal object sitting in the middle of my camp. It's a C-130. That’s a flying machine used to transport people and supplies cross country.”

“Humans built flying machines?” Lyra asked, “What else have humans built like that?”

“Well, humans have built many machines to make our lives easier, since we don't have magic or can fly on our own. As for those other machines you saw on the way in...” David pointed to the vans, “Those are vans. They're land vehicles used to transfer people around cities, towns, or anywhere people need to go. They, like the C-130, don't work anymore, so I just use them for storage.”

“What kind of things do you store? Food?” Lyra asked.

“Actually, it's mostly just junk that I found around the forest. I don't know why I collect most of it, to be honest. Though, I suppose it's because that stuff could make me a lot of money if I were to find a way back home. I mean, I got stuff dating back to the Revolutionary War.” The girls looked like they were a bit confused, as if trying to understand what that meant. “Right. You probably have no idea what that means. Well, I have something that might help.” David went into his bag and took a book out, “I was actually going to give this to you, Twilight.” David handed the book to her. “This is a history book about my country. It should help you understand a few things about me and humans in general.”

“Are you sure you want to give this to me? The history of your people... are you sure you don't want to keep that?”

“It's one history book based on the history of my country. I think I know it pretty well. After all, 'Who are you, that do not know your history?' That book will be far more useful to you than me.”

“Thank you so much!”

“You wouldn't happen to have another one of those with you?” Lyra asked.

“Possibly, but I don't feel like digging around in my books again, but if I come across another, I'll be sure to let you know.” Lyra looked disappointed, until Twilight said she would share the book with her.

“Would you mind showing me those things you collected?” Lyra asked.

“Sure,” David said as he got up, “Just be careful when you're looking through them. Some of it could be dangerous.” He opened up the vans.

Lyra quickly jumped into the back of the vans and began sifting through the things. Every few seconds, she would pop out with something in her hands, and she would ask it was.

“What's this?”

“That's a musket.”

“What's this thing?”

“A chainsaw.”

“What's this?”

“A claw hammer. I do keep a lot of tools in there.”

After about a half an hour of Lyra sifting through his things, she came across a box of electronic devices, “What are these?”

“Oh, those. Those are mp3 players, cell phones, and game devices.”

“And what do they do?”

“Well, mp3 players, like my own iPod,” David reached into his bag and took out a small black rectangle, “can be use to play music, videos, and look up information on the Internet. Long story short, the internet is a network of computers linked together to share information. Now, the cell phones are communication devices a person can use to talk to someone from pretty much anywhere. Some of these phones can even record videos, take pictures as well as play music like an mp3 player. Many are also capable of playing games. And gaming devices are more or less used to play games.”

“Can you show us how they work?” Twilight asked.

“I'm afraid not. The batteries are all dead. Even if they did work, I can't show you how the phones work without a satellite connection, and no internet, so I can't show you how that works. The only thing I could do is show you some videos and let you listen to some music as well as maybe play some games.”

“Well, how would you go about restoring power to them?” Twilight asked.

“Electricity, specifically a certain amount of voltage. Though I'm not sure how much.”

“Well, if that's all you need, then I can do that.” Twilight reached into the box and pulled out one of the devices.

“Twilight, what are you doing?” David asked.

“I'm going to try and use my magic to charge one of these,” Twilight replied.

“Well then, just be careful, too much, and you'll destroyed it.”

“Noted.” Twilight had taken out one of the mp3 players, and after David pointed out where the adapter went, her horn began to glow. A bolt of electricity entered into the the device, and after a few minutes, the screen began to glow. David watched is the battery icon began to fill, after it has charged enough, David stopped her.

He then ask her to try charging a couple more. In a few more minutes, Twilight had charged three more devices. David then handed her his iPod and asked if she would charge it, confident now she wouldn't destroy it. Once it was charged, David quickly snatched it out of her magic. He began looking through the menu and checking the apps to make sure everything was working right.

“Is everything alright?” Twilight asked.

“Yes! Everything seems to be working just fine. How would you guys like to listen to a song or two from my world?”

“Yes!” Lyra yelled.

David scrolled through his playlist to find something. “Do you guys have any preference?” He asked.

The girls look at each other and shook their heads, “No, pick whatever you want,” Twilight said.

“Okay then I'll go with something with a bit of a historic twist.”

“A song about history? That sounds rather boring,” Rainbow commented.

“You be surprised, just listen.” With that David selected the song. After the song was over, the group tried processing what the song meant.

“That was a nice song and all, but what exactly did it mean?” Twilight asked.

“Well, it was a series of events that took place in the span of the singer’s life, from his breath in 1949 to 1989 when he wrote it. Granted, it’s not much context, but every line holds some significance.”

“Well, can you elaborate as to some of those events?”

“Not really, no. You'd probably have a better chance at matching the lyrics up with that history book I gave you. The thing is, I mostly just like the song. I never really studied what each line actually means. I mean, I know some of it, but we could be here all day talking about it. I'm sure there are other things you would like to know.

“Actually, there was one thing I was going to ask before we got sidetracked,” Lyra said.

“Ask, and I'll try to answer.”

“Well, how exactly did you get here? Equestria, I mean, and where did you get all this stuff?”

“I thought Twilight filled you in, but I guess I could tell you. See, before I came here, I had decided to spend the first few weeks of summer going on a nice little camping trip out in the woods. As I went through the forest, looking for a nice spot to set up my hammock and build a fire, I slipped while going down an incline and hit my head on something, probably a rock. When I woke up, I was in your world. As I explored this oh so lovely forest, I found other things from my world. Lots of vehicles, miscellaneous garbage, even a couple of houses. And before you say anything, I didn't stay in those because they were far from being structurally sound. The fact that they didn't collapse on me when I was look looking for supplies was nothing short of a miracle. So yeah, there’s actually loads of stuff from my world scattered around this forest. I only took what I thought could be useful, or what I thought was cool.”

“I knew it! Or rather, my great great great great… well, you get it, grandfather was right. The Everfree Forest is connected to humans somehow!” Lyra exclaimed.

“Care to share a little bit more?” David asked.

“Really? You want to know about my research on humans?”

“Well, yeah. I am a human, after all, and I think I should know what sort of stories, legends, or actual historical facts you have about my species.”

Lyra smiled widely as she bounced up and down in place. “Where to start? There's so much to go over.”

“The beginning is usually a good start,” David said with a smirk.

“Excuse me if I may,” Pinkie said, “but I'm getting hungry, and the cupcakes I brought aren’t going to be enough. So, you think you can wait until I can get some food for us?”

“There's no need for that,” David said, “I've got plenty of food I can share. You guys just go wait by the fire, and I'll go get it.” David went into the plane as the others sat on the log benches.

“Wow, I can't believe it... I'm going to be eating human food!” Lyra said.

“Do you think it’s safe to eat?” Rainbow asked.

“Apple Bloom had some, so I don't see why it wouldn't be,” Applejack answered.

After a minute, David had returned with several brown bags. “Pinkie, you wouldn’t have happened to have brought along any extra plates with you?” David asked the pink mare.

“Yes, I did! They were for the cupcakes, but they should work for whatever you have.” David nodded and began preparing lunch.

“What exactly are you making?” Twilight asked.

“MREs or 'meal ready to eat'. It’s military rations. They’re not the best, but it’s kept me alive this long. Now, while we wait for the food, how about you start telling me what you know about human history in your world?”

“Well,” Lyra began, “it all started a long, long time ago. Many in my family believe it was about a thousand years ago when the first humans showed up. There were a few dozen, maybe a hundred. No one really knows. No one was keeping records at the time, but when they showed up, they immediately went on a rampage over the countryside. They sacked a small town and used what was there to build primitive siege engines to try and siege the castle. However, the Pegasus and Unicorn forces proved to be more than a match for these warriors. Within minutes, or more likely hours, the Equestrian military drove them back and even proceeded to hunt down the survivors.”

“That seems a bit severe, don't you think? Did they try to surrender?” David asked.

“They made no attempt to throw down their weapons or even to communicate. As far as we know at the time, they were savages bent on killing and pillaging. I'm not saying what happened was right, but given the circumstances, I'm sure they did what they thought was best.”

“Fair enough. I'm not judging. Please continue.”

“Let's see... the next humans to show up was about three hundred years later. In fact, one of my ancestors, Lost Legacy, was there to record everything.”

“I guess that explains why you're so enthusiastic about this subject,” Twilight commented.

“Absolutely. It's in my blood. Now, back to the second group of humans. These ones were a bit more organized. Some even spoke our language, but rarely did so around us. Unfortunately, like the ones before, these ones were also violent, though not senselessly mind you, but they did capture ponies and took over the abandoned castle. From what Lost Legacy gathered, they wanted to use the Castle to keep themselves safe until they can figure out where they were and how they could find a way to some place called 'Jerusalem'.”

“If I may interrupt you for a second,” David said, “but did these humans have any crosses on their clothing, particularly their chest?”

“Yes. As a matter of fact, they did. In fact, they had crosses all over the place. You know anything about them?”

“Well, they were most likely Crusader Knights.”

“Who were they, and why were they trying to get to 'Jerusalem'?”

“It's a long and stupid story. The short version: it was a holy war, and Jerusalem is a holy city for three religions, and each one wanting it for themselves.”

“Who won?”

“That's not really important. It was seven hundred years ago, give or take. But please, continue. What happened to them, and why did they take ponies prisoner?”

“Well, they took the ponies to use as a labor force to try and fortify the castle. Lost Legacy was actually among them. He was fascinated by these creatures and learned that they were called humans. Unfortunately, history repeated itself, and the Royal Guard came to eliminate them. However, unlike last time, the humans quickly realized they were outmatched, and many tried to surrender. Regrettably, the guard wasn't interested in taking prisoners and proceeded to wipe them out. Many official history books and legends, of course, state that the humans fought to the bitter end, but Lost Legacy’s notes are the only true recordings of what happened.”

“I see,” David said, “I suppose it makes sense that the history makers wouldn't want to portray their military as some kind of war criminals for slaughtering opponents that tried to surrender.”

“You're not upset?”

“Why should I be, unless you think I'm going to suffer a similar fate?”

“No, no. Not at all. You're just taking this all rather well.”

“Believe it or not, I'm not actually surprised. My people have done some similar things. Nobody's perfect. Now, have there been any other humans that have shown up that you know of?”

“Sort of. You see, every time a human has appeared in Equestria, it's been around this area. The last humans that we had direct contact with showed up at a time when the Everfree Forest was relatively safe. But after a couple hundred years, another one of my ancestors chartered an expedition into the forest to see if he can find any humans, or any signs that humans had been here, maybe even find the source of this new species. However, the only thing he found was what looked like an old caravan with the remains of humans and other strange creatures scattered about, but the trip wasn't a total waste. Through the wagons, they had gained some insight into human culture, or part of it anyways. They had silk, grains, jewelry, and most importantly, fireworks.”

“Wait, you mean to tell me that your great great great great, well, you know, grandfather Duke Vision didn't invent fireworks, he just found them?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, but that was supposed to be a secret so… please don't tell anyone,” Lyra begged.

“You know, I couldn't care less,” David said, “So, is that it? Were there any more expeditions?”

“No. It just got too dangerous for anypony to risk their lives searching for more evidence that humans are more than a legend. Like most legends, they tend to change over time, and over the years, there have been many sightings and rumors of sightings of humans all over Equestria. My family has tracked down every single one of those sightings and rumors since Duke Vision. That's why I was so excited when I first met you. You’re proof that centuries of research weren't wasted.”

“Well then, I'm glad I could help, there's just one last thing I'd like to know.”

“What is it?”

“Do you know how I could have gotten here or any humans or their things?”

“Unfortunately, no. That's one mystery that we've been unable to solve.”

“Well, I suppose it doesn't matter,” David said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“Is something wrong?” Pinkie asked, picking up on his tone.

“Well, if you knew how I got here, maybe you could have send me back, but it's been at least a year. If our worlds are moving at the same time, then I've probably been declared dead.” David stared at the ground for a moment, then shook his head, “There's no point in dwelling on that fact. I'm in a new world and have a chance to start a new life, assuming that's still a possibility,” he said, looking at Twilight.

“I don't see why not. Just because humans of the past have been... less than friendly, doesn't mean we shouldn't give you a chance, especially since you've been more than helpful.”

“So, when can I move into town?”

“Well, like I said, we will need to make some arrangements. You would most likely need to stay with one of us until you can find a job and get your own place...”

“You're more than welcome to stay with me!” Lyra blurted out, she then tried giving him a large friendly smile, but to him, it came off more like a 'rape face'.

“Thank you for the offer, but no.”

“Well, you have other options,” Twilight said, “you could stay with me at the library.”

“Or you could stay with mah family at the farm, but you'd need to work a bit,” Applejack said.

“I suppose I could find room for you. You can even model some new outfits for me,” Rarity said with a gleam in her eye.

“I don't have much room, but you could stay with me if you really wanted to,” Fluttershy offered.

Everyone looked at Pinkie and Rainbow, expecting them to offer their homes as well. “What? He can't stay with me, unless he can walk on clouds,” Rainbow said.

“And as much as I'd love to have him stay with me, I live the Cakes, and I would need to run it by them first. I'm going to guess you're going to say no.”

“That's quite alright, you two. I understand. You guys have been giving me a lot to think about, so we should probably continue this tomorrow,” David said, standing up, “Come on. Let's get going. I'll escort you out of the forest before it gets too late.” The girls gathered their things, David even letting Lyra take some of the things from his vans to study, including some of the electronic devices. Twilight took some of those as well.

David led them through the forest without incident. After they reached the exit, the group said their goodbyes and told David they would see him again tomorrow at the same time. He watched them fade into the distance as his mind began to wander. Well, that was rather interesting, but now, I'm one step closer to finally getting it out of this forest and getting back to a normal life. Well, as normal as it can get, living in a land of humanoid ponies.