//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: Miss President...Rainbow Dash? // by AzelTheMantis //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash paced back and forth, a few distance from the entrance to the room where the press conference was to be held. A worried Business Twilight looked on, wondering if participating in the press conference was a good idea. She knew that she couldn’t let anypony especially the press know about what happened to President Dash but her sudden absence would also spark unwanted rumors. The bespectacled unicorn let out a heavy sigh as she watched the President of Equestria trying to figure out which was the best way to make an awesome entrance. As strict and short-tempered as President Dash was, she at least kept a firm code of discipline at all times unlike this new Dash. She would never openly admit it but she really wished that her boss was back. “I’m...outta ideas” Rainbow Dash said, “This won’t gonna last too long, right?” “The press conference?” Twilight asked, “Half an hour the latest I suppose” “I was referring to being stuck in this business-ish world” Rainbow Dash retorted. “Oh! I don’t know about that” Twilight replied, “Maybe it’ll be for a few hours, days or maybe forever” “I’m about to do something I have never done before in my awesome life and you’re not making this feel any better” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “Sorry for that” Twilight smiled sheepishly, “Since President Dash doesn’t have any more engagements until tonight I promise I’ll help you find a way to get back to your world”, she added. For a split second, Rainbow Dash could’ve sworn she saw a little bit of Princess Twilight in Business Twilight’s face. “You better” Rainbow Dash sighed, “For now, let’s just concentrate on this cruddy press stuff” “I was just about to suggest that” Twilight chuckled, adjusting her spectacles, “Oh! I almost forgot....” she said as she walked up to the cyan pegasus, “President Dash never wanders about with unkempt hair” “Hey! What the hay are you doing?!” Rainbow Dash yelled as soon as she saw Business Twilight reaching for her rainbow mane, “I’ve already worn this boring suit, enough of the corporate makeup”, she tried to get away from her. “Stop fidgeting” Twilight giggled a little, still a bit uneasy at the whole situation, “There, it’s all fixed” she said, combing the pegasus’ mane with her magic. Inside she was squealing like a little filly. Even if this wasn’t their President, she could now brag about brushing their beloved leader’s mane. “I do not like this one bit” Rainbow Dash scowled, crossing her hooves. “Let’s go now or we’ll be late” Twilight continued giggling, lightly shoving the pegasus through the door. With that, the lavender unicorn and her boss entered the room. Rainbow Dash looked around and saw that there were more ponies that she initially thought. Most of them were carrying notepads and cameras. She also seemed to recognize some of the audience members but couldn’t see too clearly because of the others. “MISS PRESIDENT RAINBOW DASH EVERYONE!!!” a voice announced loudly over the sound system. The next moment, everypony including the important looking ones sitting near Rainbow Dash’s reserved seat got up and greeted her with a huge round of applause. Under better circumstances, Rainbow Dash would’ve felt proud of herself but she wasn’t feeling good at all. She muttered curse words to Business Twilight as one of the guard ponies escorted her to her allotted seat while the audience got back to their respective places. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “I sure wish I wasn’t” Twilight snickered before handing her notepad to the cyan pony, “I’m not allowed to sit next to you so you better keep that close to you. If they ask you a difficult question, I’ll just provide an answer to you through that”. “How are you gonna do that?” Rainbow Dash whispered loudly, ignoring the noises from the crowd. “That notepad is magically synchronized with my mind so anything I think of will be written there” “Huh? Then why the hay do you carry a pen?” “You...I mean President Dash never allowed me to use magic in her presence so I had to write using this” she pointed to the pen. “Ahem!” one guard pony nudged Twilight. “I have to go now. Good luck” she told Rainbow Dash one last time before she walked off to the side. “Darn....” Rainbow Dash groaned, watching Twilight go. “Excuse me, Miss President...” a stallion sitting to her left tapped her. “What is it, dumbo?” she mumbled lazily, not even gracing the pegasus with a glance. “It’s Trombone. Anyway, those nosy unicorns are probably going to ask you questions about your dismissal of Miss Fluttershy even though it’s been over a month so I was suggesting that you let me answer those” the stallion recommended. “Sure, knock yourself out. I don’t care” Rainbow Dash sighed, leaning on the desk. “Good! That’s what I’ll answer with” Trombone’s eyes brightened, “It’s all in the past and you care more about the future and you have no time for talking about rebellious colleagues during times of conflict” Rainbow Dash wasn’t paying attention to anything the stallion was saying. All she could think about was her friends back home. They were probably worried sick about her and she hadn’t found any way to get back home. She missed all of them. The real problem was that aside from Twilight Sparkle, President Dash didn’t seem to have any connections with her friends in this world and she was sure that meeting up with them would be hard not to mention probably dangerous. “Ahem...sorry to disturb again but do you mind if I answered questions regarding the war on your behalf?” Trombone asked again. “Sure” “Other Species Conflicts?” “Uh-huh” “The Secession of the Crystal Empire?” “Whatever” “The allegations of favoring pegasi?” “What?” Rainbow Dash’s ears perked up at the question. “The allegations of you favoring pegasi for government posts even though there were more deserving candidates” he replied, “Those are just lies, right?” The Bearer of the Element of Loyalty glanced at the other six ponies sitting with her. Not a single earth pony or unicorn was in sight. President Dash must’ve really had some issues. “I’m not too sure but I did hire Twilight as my Secretary so President Das...I mean I can’t possibly be....racist heheh” Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously. “That’s a great answer” Trombone nodded, a bit puzzled by the nervous reply their President gave, “Although you did appoint her only after you fired Miss Fluttershy first” “That might be a problem” Rainbow Dash gulped, wiping a drop of sweat off her brow, “I don’t suppose you can....I mean....you know....” “Don’t worry. I’ll cover it all for you” Trombone let out a smile before he turned away, “What’s up with her? She hasn’t fallen for my ol’ charm, has she?” he asked himself with a smirk on his face. A green pegasus sitting right next to him stood up, banging on the desk to gain the audience’s attention. Rainbow Dash readied herself mentally as the conference was imminent. “Attention!” he shouted through the microphone he carried, pausing until nopony else was speaking, “Thank you. As you all know, we are all gathered here for the press conference regarding the conflicts around Equestria as well as other matters but before we start, I would like to ask our respect President, Miss Rainbow Dash to say a few words” he finished, handing over the microphone to Rainbow Dash. “What!?” Business Twilight raised an eyebrow. Normally, the press conference should’ve started as usual without any speech from the President but it appeared as though President Dash had changed the traditional way. Twilight panicked as any wrong choice of words from the President was going to be all over the morning papers. And from what she saw and heard, Rainbow Dash wasn’t nearly as composed and collected as President Dash was. The poor rainbow-maned pegasus gulped and stood up. She stole a glance at her lavender friend who was looking as nervous as she was. “G-Good eveni....I mean Good Morning everypony” she forced a smile as she tried her best not to let anypony know the truth about her, “Dammit, Rainbow Dash! Pull yourself together. You can do this. Stop shaking! You’re not Fluttershy for Celestia’s sake” “Say something!” Twilight whispered from afar. “T-Thank you all from coming to this bore fest....I mean awesome press conference we’re having” Rainbow Dash continued, “Just pretend you’re introducing yourself in front of the other members of Wonderbolts....” “Is she gonna crack?” a unicorn guard asked Twilight. “I hope not heheh” Twilight replied anxiously. “Alright...here it goes” Rainbow Dash took a breath, “I’m Rainbow Dash...scratch that...President Rainbow Dash and me and my frie....I mean business partners are looking forward to answering any questions you may ask us. You are free to ask about anything, about any topic or subject to your liking. Thank you. You’re all awesome!” A loud cheer erupted from the audience....inside Rainbow Dash’s mind. Outside of it, it was a slightly different scenario. Stunned silence greeted Dashie’s short speech much to her surprise. As she tried to piece together what she said wrong, she felt a light nudge from the stallion from before. “Psst! Glory to Equestria!” Trombone whispered to her. “Uhh.....Glory to Equestria!” she repeated. As if on cue, the ponies, save for a group of scowling unicorns, applauded loudly, some even jumping up and down like giddy schoolfoals. The other ponies sitting near her simply smiled although some of them had skeptical looks on their faces. Rainbow Dash heaved a sigh of relief as she sat down. Although it was brief, she was definitely glad that the “speech” was over. Normally, she would’ve been confident about speaking in front of a crowd but the thick aura of animosity in the air was somehow unnerving her, leading her to ponder about what in the world had happened to Equestria. “Good job” two words appeared on her notepad. The cyan pegasus looked to the side and saw a bespectacled unicorn give her a nod of assurance. “Alright!” the green pegasus stood up again, “Thank you for that, Miss President. Now, we’ll start the press conference now. Like we said yesterday, the President and the board will only answer ten questions. No more no less. You may begin” The next moment, Rainbow Dash yelped a little as she saw the ponies try to gain her attention. Her eyes darted from one pony to another but all she could see was their desire and thirst for information. “*sigh* What is wrong with you, Miss Dash?” Trombone piped up once again, “Pick one. Personally, I think you should avoid the unicorns but it’s your choice” “Okay.....” Rainbow Dash mumbled before she pointed her hoof towards a light blue unicorn with a wavy white and navy blue mane who was holding her hoof up. “Oh! Me?” the unicorn asked as all eyes in the room were on her. “Uh...you have a question or something?” “Can I go to the little fillies’ room?” the unicorn asked sheepishly. “Um...I guess so” Rainbow Dash shrugged. The mare bowed low before she dashed right out of the Conference Hall. “Except for Colgate I may add” the stallion snickered, “She’s always here to ask silly questions but I believe you already know that, Miss President” “Anypony else” Rainbow Dash yawned. Press conferences were certainly more boring than she had initially thought. She wondered how in Equestria the princesses or even President Dash were able to go through this every single week. A wave of flailing hooves snapped her out of her train of thought. She remembered that the sooner she got this done, the sooner Business Twilight would help her get back to her home. “You! The guy with the bandage around his hoof” Rainbow Dash said, turning to an earth pony stallion sitting at the back. “What? Me?” he groaned, “My hoof’s broken. Doctor told me to put my hoof up for a week. I don’t like it too much” “What kind of doctor tells their patient that?” Rainbow Dash gave a confused look. “A piece of advice, Miss President: Don’t go to earth pony doctors. They’re crazy as buck!” Trombone warned. “Whatever” Rainbow Dash muttered, “Let’s move on.....Let’s see.....how about you! In the back, with the funny hat” she pointed to a pony seated in the rear. “It’s me again” the bandaged pony retorted. “Oh! Sorry” Rainbow Dash let out an embarrassed chuckle, her face reddening while the members of the audience laughed a bit. Business Twilight facehoofed herself, wondering why in Equestria she thought Rainbow Dash would’ve been able to handle the press conference flawlessly. Right next to Twilight, unknown to her or the other ponies present, two members of the board were secretly discussing about their President’s suspicious behavior. They watched Rainbow Dash’s movement closely and came to a conclusion that there was something wrong with her. “She’s definitely not the same Rainbow Dash” a blue pegasus mare told her partner. “Her mannerism is totally different from the mare who won by a landslide” a white pegasus added. “And against Blueblood too” “Yeah! I have to admit that was impressive” “Sure was! I never thought anypony would’ve been able to pull him off the top” “Certainly not her” the white stallion said, watching Rainbow Dash pander to the audience, “And definitely not her. Why the hay is she even answering questions from the unicorns? Doesn’t she know what they did in the Changeling War?” “Shh...she might hear you” her friend reprimanded him. “So, can you tell us whether or not the government is secretly building armored vehicles made from the parts of the unidentified object from the StableWell Incident fifty years ago?” a reporter asked Rainbow Dash. “I...umm...” Rainbow Dash tried to answer before she suddenly realized, “Unidentified Object?” she asked, dumbfounded by the mention of it. “Yes, the one that every other president has denied seeing” “Unidentified Object?” Rainbow Dash merely repeated before she turned to the stallion sitting beside her, “You’re up, Strong Bow” “Mr. Trombone, Miss President. I will answer that on behalf of the president if you don’t mind” Trombone said with a smile, “The StableWell Incident is nothing more than a fabricated lie. Even though some may claim otherwise, the government never found any strange objects from outer space nor did it retrieve any parts or bodies fifty years ago. My colleague Light Wing can assure you that it never happened” “Yes, Mr. Snap Feather” the green pegasus from before stood up, “The government did not, I repeat, did not retrieve any bodies of strange hairless two legged apes from outer space, nor did it retrieve any kind of flying vehicular machines” he added, sitting back to his accustomed seat as he finished. “Flying machines?” Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at Light Wing. “Yeah! They are all so easy to deceive, don’t you agree, Miss President?” Light Wing smirked, waving at the audience. “So, we never found any unidentified objects or bodies of hairless apes?” Rainbow Dash asked in a serious tone. “That’s the general idea” Light Wing chuckled while Trombone continued to answer the remaining questions, “I have to admit. Using the apes’ technology to build those tanks, that was genius on your behalf, Miss President” “Me?” Rainbow Dash inquired. Everything she knew about President Dash and this Equestria was becoming more and more messed up by the minute. “Yes. We sent your plans to Twilight Sparkle and she supervised everything although we haven’t told her yet that you were actually the one who told us to build them” “Boy...I sure am some kind of sick genius, ain’t I?” Rainbow Dash sighed, contemplating about the reputation her counterpart must’ve had among the ponies of Equestria. “The best” Light Wing complimented “Thanks” she muttered. She looked back to the audience and saw that Trombone had successfully managed to answer the remaining questions with no difficulty at all. She smiled as she realized the press conference was coming to an end. “We’ll take one more question” Trombone announced before turning to Rainbow Dash, “President Dash will answer the last question. After that, The board will take your leave”. “Me?” Rainbow Dash groaned. “Just send them home happy” Trombone winked. “Jeez...let’s get this over with then”, she grumbled, pointing towards a white unicorn with a red mane, “Ask away” “Not him” Trombone and the rest of the panel gasped. “What’s wrong?” she whispered. Said unicorn slowly got up from his seat, sporting a sinister grin on his face, his blue eyes gleaming with hatred and negativity. Rainbow Dash was quick to notice this and she immediately turned to Twilight. The lavender unicorn was holding her hoof to her mouth as if something dreadful was about to happen. “Thank you, Miss President” the white unicorn grinned, “I just have a request to make. If you really aren’t favoring pegasi, then what do you say about the Equal Tax Bill?” “Uh....could you repeat that?” “The Equal Tax Bill? Equal taxes for every species even if us unicorns are the wealthiest in the Equestria?” “I guess that’s fair” Rainbow Dash shrugged before she felt a light tap. “Don’t answer his question” Trombone advised anxiously, “Just say “Pass” and we’ll be done” “Okay....” Rainbow Dash said with a wide smile before she gleefully shouted to everypony in the Hall, “Passed!” With that, another loud cheer erupted from the audience. Even the unhappy unicorns from before were beaming in delight. Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves proudly as if she had won the Equestria Games. Trombone, Light Wing and the rest of the board facehoofed themselves, inaudibly complaining about the decision before they left the Hall in a huff. Rainbow Dash felt a bit puzzled as to why they suddenly left but she turned away and walked towards Business Twilight. “I did good, right?” Rainbow Dash asked the smiling unicorn mare. To her surprise, her friend didn’t seem to hear her. She was sporting the happiest expression she had ever seen. The joy on her face was genuine, not something one would’ve been able to fake. “Uh...Twilight? You okay?” Rainbow Dash asked while the audience left the room one by one, “Whoa! Are you....crying?” she raised an eyebrow as she saw tears form in the corner of the mare’s eyes. In a split second, Business Twilight hugged the pegasus tightly. Rainbow Dash stood transfixed, wondering why in the world Twilight was crying and hugging her like a toy doll. “T-Thank you, Pres...I mean Rainbow Dash” Twilight said. “You’re welcome” Rainbow Dash chuckled as Twilight broke the hug, “What’d I do?” she deadpanned. Meanwhile It had been almost ten minutes and still Rainbow Dash hadn’t calm down nor did she comply with Twilight and her friends’ requests. They were really starting to worry that Rainbow Dash might’ve had hit her head a bit too hard when she fell out of her bed. “Why are you making this hard for us, Rainbow Dash?” Princess Twilight asked her pegasus friend. “I....drrr.....tra....trsss...” President Dash replied with muffled growls. “I....drrr.....tra....trsss...?” Pinkie asked. narrowing her eyes, “Did she just say “I’ll destroy you, traitors”?” “Uhhh...I’m darn sure our Rainbow Dash wouldn’t say anythin’ like that” Applejack answered unconfidently. “Come to think of it, she hasn’t acted like our Rainbow Dash at all” Spike said before he turned to Twilight, “Should we write to Princess Celestia about this?” “Not now” Princess Twilight replied, approaching the tied-up and gagged Rainbow Dash only to recoil back after seeing the burning fire of hatred in the pegasus’ eyes. “I-I don’t like this side of Rainbow Dash very much” Fluttershy said timidly. President Dash quickly shifted her focus to the shy pegasus. She stared intently into the eyes of the familiar mare, concentrating all the hatred inside of her and shouting curses at Fluttershy. “F...u..k......s...it!!!!” President Dash yelled. “What was that?” Applejack asked. “She said “Fluttershy, you knave! Stupid dips...”” Pinkie Pie replied with a smile before she was interrupted. “I think we get the general idea, darling” Rarity stopped the pink pony who just bounced away, “This is definitely not our Rainbow Dash” “Should I take the towel from her mouth?” Spike asked. “I think we should but wait for a moment” Princess Twilight said before she turned to President Dash, “Rainbow Dash, we’re gonna take this off now, alright? Will promise not to shout at Spike or anypony else?” President Dash nodded vigorously although she still hadn’t lost the scowl on her face. “Spike, pull the towel out of her mouth please” Cautiously, the purple dragon pulled the towel out of President Dash’s mouth. He swiftly backed away from the mare, preparing for any kind of attack. Everypony stood in silence as they hoped that the worse hadn’t happened and that their friend would get back to her normal self. Their worst fear came true as they heard a sinister, almost evil snicker coming from the cyan pegasus. “Hehehe....I presume you all believe you’ve got me cornered and at your mercy” President Dash greeted the others with a vile smile. “What’s so funny?” Applejack asked. “You’re all so naive” she chuckled, “Now I understand everything. You think of me as your friend and that I would comply easily, am I right?” “Our friend? With that nasty attitude of yours?” Rarity retorted, “You can’t possibly be our friend” “And you’re definitely not a changeling” Twilight added. “Yuck! You would even dare to believe that I’m one of those filthy insects?” President Dash was visibly offended from being even thought of as a mere bug. “Y-You’re not Rainbow Dash. Who are you and what have you done with Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked. “For the last time...” President Dash groaned, “I am Rainbow Dash. Aside from you and your replacement over here....” she turned to Twilight, “...I have never seen these two earth ponies or this unicorn before in my life. I can see through your plans. Ask for any amount of bits you want, I swear you’re all going to face severe punishment for kidnapping me and forcing me to hear your lies. And if you think for a second that trying to trick me into believing that we’re all friends is going to help you in making me cooperate, you’re all going to have a bad time” “Wow! She really does love to grumble, doesn’t she?” Spike commented, unimpressed. “To Tartarus with you, purple reptile from hell!” President Dash growled. “I’m from Canterlot” Spike corrected. “And I’m from the Rock Farm near Ponyville!” Pinkie chimed. “Whatever!” President Dash shouted. “So, what should we do next?” Rarity asked, “I mean we can all agree that this isn’t our Rainbow Dash. Should we write to the princess about it?” “I think we should” Applejack agreed, “Before we move on, it’s better to tell the princess what we’re doin’ and what we may do later” “That settles it” Twilight said, feeling dejected that they weren’t able to get Rainbow Dash back to her normal self, “We’ll inform the princess and nopony else. Unless we’re ultra sure that Rainbow Dash can’t be fixed, we shouldn’t let anypony else know about this” “You know I will escape eventually, Secretary” President Dash smirked, “And when I do, I’ll enjoy firing you and throwing all of you in jail. You can’t escape the power of the President of Equ....mmpphh!!!” Puzzled, Twilight and the others turned around to figure out why President Dash stopped mid-rant. They smiled a little as they saw their pink friend placing the towel back inside the mouth of the pegasus. “Silly Rainbow Dash” Pinkie Pie giggled while the others were busy writing a letter to Princess Celestia, “Thinking you’re the President of Equestria’s Party Planning Group. I’m the president, silly!” “...ou...su...k...” President Dash merely hissed.