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// My Minions Are Incapable... Of Using Kindness  
// Story: Gods of Equestria: How Will This Benefit Me? 
// by Fulgrim 
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	As the group went along the path towards Ponyville, Applejack decided to converse with their new companion. 
"So Mr. Ah Puch, where'dya come from?" she asked.
"I come from a place called the Ninth Hell... where wicked souls are sent to be punished." he replied. Applejack pondered over whether to continue, and she decided it was the best way to learn more.
"Do ya have a hobby?" 
"Yes," he replied. "I collect corpses." After this Applejack stopped talking. But Rainbow decided to contribute.
"Really?" She asked. "Or are you just making it up?"
"When souls die and are sent to the different realms of the underworld... I am able to take their body, as they will not be needing it any longer."
"That's sick," she said.
"I keep them in good condition," he replied reassuringly.
"And is, corpse-collecting, your job?"
"No, my job is to make sure that the wicked souls in my realm get judgement for their crimes... during life." She also stopped talking. After a little while longer of walking they finally reached Ponyville.
"Is this the place?" Ah Puch asked.
"Eeyup." replied AJ as she trotted into the town. Ponyville's residences were bustling around with the usual business, and as Ah Puch passed them, most froze in fear as he looked at them, trembling. Some of the schoolyard fillies, namely the Cutie Mark Crusaders, stared as he passed, eyes wide with wonder instead of fear. 
Applejack and Rainbow Dash tried to look nonchalant walking with the monster that was now scarring all of Ponyville's residences silly. While sitting on the side of the road, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo  saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and decided this was the time to learn more about their strange companion.
"Whatcha got there sis?" asked Applebloom.
"Where are your manners Applebloom? He's a pony to."
"Doesn't look too much like one," she said as he looked at her.
"Why does he smell like that?" asked Scootaloo.
"That's what I said," replied Rainbow Dash and they both snickered. Only Sweetie Belle mustered up the courage to talk to Ah Puch himself.
"Um, mister, who are you?" she asked. Ah Puch looked at her with his glowing eyes.
"I am called Ah Puch." he replied.
"How did you end up with a name like that?"
"I don't know," he replied.
"Me nither, also, why are you here?"
"These to ponies, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, both found me in the wilderness... and agreed to take me to see their... friends." 
"You're going to go see the princess and her friends?" she asked. Ah Puch felt his evil thoughts surfacing again. A princess... a ruler of these, ponies. 
"You're gonna see my sister, Rarity, there too," she said.
"So, what family is this princess a part of, where do they rule?" asked Ah Puch.
"Um, I don't know Twilight's family, but as far as I know, she doesn't rule anything." Ah Puch felt anger at these ponies political system.
"What kind of princess is the then?" he said impatiently.
"One that doesn't smell," she replied, hoof over her muzzle. "Seriously, what did you roll around in."
"I am the God of Decay, I am perpetually rotting," he said nonchalantly. Sweetie Belle's eyes widened and she trotted away, hoof over mouth. Ah Puch shrugged, ponies were weird like that and acted rude when he mentioned things like he tortured beings for eternity and was always rotting. I guess different species had different social rules, I mean, his zombies never acted that way.
They finally reached a large tree that had been fashioned with doors and windows for a place of residence. The ponies walked through the door and Ah Puch followed. When they were inside, he was greeted with more looks of horror from the unknown ponies in the room.
"Wh-what is t-that?" asked a white one. A yellow one beside her was on the ground, her hair behind her face and shuddering.
"Um guys, this here is Ah Puch, we found him near the forest," said Applejack. The silence continued.
"He's fine, he won't hurtcha," she reassured. Twilight was the first to walk up to him.
"Can he speak?" she asked. 
"Of course I can speak, purple equine," he replied unhappily. She was taken aback at his sudden reply.
"This is amazing!" Twilight said breaking the mood. "Where are you from? How did you get here? What do you want?-" she asked many more questions and Ah Puch couldn't keep track of them all.
"Calm down Twi, its fine," said Rainbow Dash. "He comes from this spooky sounding place called the 'Ninth Hell' and he collects corpses." Twilight's eyes widened.
"What!? How do you do that?" she asked. "That's just wrong!" Ah Puch couldn't believe any being would thing the innocent act of corpse-collecting anything but normal. Humans (or ponies) die. They leave their bodies lying around. SOMEONE is going to come along and see that corpse and and think to themselves What a nice corpse. Well, seeing as nobody needs it, I might as well take it. It didn't make sense to him.
"Its really not that bad. I don't kill them, most of the time," he replied. The look on Twilight's face told him he had given the wrong reply. 
"Great, we have a unknown creature that collects corpses and he's standing in my library," she said. A small dragon-life creature walked up to her.
"Twilight, I doubt he collects corpses, even if he looks like a creepy Nightmare Night costume. Maybe he can help with what we need to do." Ah Puch quickly reasoned if he was going to get anywhere in his plans, he would have to get in the good books with these equines.
"I would be... Happy to help you with any sort of... problem," he said. The ponies perked up.
"I dunno... We just found you, and you're kinda creepy..." said Rarity.
"Well, if we're going to get to know him more, we're going to have to spend more time with him. He said he was willing to help." Ah Puch was happy with this positive turn of events, these ponies were quick to forgive, too quick if you ask him, but one in the corner continued to unnerve him. 
Of all the equines there, there was one pink one who had stared at him rock-still ever since he walked in. She hadn't moved yet, but he glanced at her nervously. Did she know what he really was? Did she know what he was planning. He didn't know if their kind possessed mystics, (the white and purple one's horns gave him a magical vibe) but this one gave off the strongest likelihood of being something other than she appeared. 
The mystery pony finally walked up to him, still giving him a suspicious look. If Ah Puch could sweat he would be sweating buckets right now. A few more seconds passed until the pink pony bounced up high in the air, smiling from cheek-to-cheek and shouted "NEW FRIEND!" loudly, startling others.
"Well, I guess Pinkie's ok with it," said Twilight and she walked back to Ah Puch.
"Well Ah Puch, it seems you can help us. We're tasked with searching for a disturbance in the Everfree Forest.  We don't know what exactly it is, we tried sending Applejack and Rainbow Dash to see if they could figure it out. All we know is that its a large figure that has been scaring ponies. All we could get from witnesses was that it had lots of teeth, but nothing more. Fluttershy has told us that some of the animals that live around the area that it has been sighted in have disappeared. We need to go in, and stop whatever it is." 
The small yellow equine was near her when she mentioned animals, and she slowly made her way in front of Ah Puch.
"Um, it.. would be really nice if you... were to help me... find my missing... animals." She said this all very quiet.
"Witness me here today... as I... Ah Puch, promise to help you rid this monster and find your missing animals!" he replied. She shrank away from him.
"Well, that's good to know," said Twilight. "Well we better get going girls." The other ponies followed her out the door. Ah Puch's zombie was outside fiddling with a flower, and shuffled after them when he saw his master walking away.
A monster eh, he said to himself. What kind of monsters could they have in this world of colorful equine horses that could defy a god? Or better, what kind of beings do they have in this world that could defy a god?