//------------------------------//
// Apathy, Caretaking, and Panic 
// Story: Honesty Through The End 
// by Hadjii 
//------------------------------//

	Don't really have much to live for anymore. I exist, and that's about it.

I guess the sensible thing to do at this point would be to just end it, but I can't do that. Never gonna do that. Not on purpose, anyways.

Not that I don't have the guts to. With the sheer number of Greyfaces and... other things... that I've killed, adding myself to the list wouldn't be too tough. But then that would mean they won, and like I said before, I can't allow that. I'm gonna hold on to my last breath. For Equestria. For my family. For my friends. Heck, for everything else that the Greyfaces killed.



Well, I guess there's Barky to live for, too. She hangs around here, nuzzles me whenever we meet.

Oh, speaking of meat, I need to give her another fish bar. It's really cat food, but close enough.







I'm back. It's weird, going from that one time where Spike saved my life, to nurturing a timberwolf pup like it was my own daughter. If you'd told me two months ago that I'd be doing so, I woulda checked you for a concussion and asked if you had me confused for Fluttershy.

It'd be pretty nice to have her knack with animals right now... Not that I'm bad with 'em, mind, but she just had that probably literally magical connection with them. Dunno if it's just desperation or what, but even so, I am pretty close with Barky. It ain't exactly mind reading, but she does understand me pretty well.

When she's a bit bigger, I'll teach her how to fish. Hopefully I can manage it timberwolf style, jumping in the river and grabbing one with my mouth. Or at least I think that's how dogs and wolves and such fish. Pretty sure it's how bears fish.



Maybe I could teach her how to use a pole and bait... she is pretty smart.

Bit of a klutz, though. Might just catch herself instead. Heh.





Should probably get back to talking about the war.

The third train was being loaded up with civvies, when there was shouting. The Greyfaces were back. Some started to panic, but the guards held the line, and we avoided total chaos.

Until something said to look up.

That moment I mentioned before, with the griffon crashing through the window, was the moment when I knew we were doomed.

This moment was when I knew that I wasn't just a pony anymore. I was a soldier. We're a bit strange. We have different instincts. We react in ways that ponies don't. We don't freak out, or shut down.

When we see Greyfaces dropping out of the night sky onto us, we don't stand there, gape-mouthed in horror.

We roll out of the way, crying out "INCOMING!"

Didn't help, much. Sure, it alerted the guards to the fact that the wolves were now among the sheep, but it was too late. I jumped the one that had tried to land on me, and pounded it a few times, then spun around and bucked it away. I looked around to see another one coming at me, so I tried to bounce them off to the side, but they changed direction last second and got a good hit on my abdomen.

It hurt, but I'd had worse before that, and worse after, so I showed them what I thought of their leg being in one piece, then suplexed them over my head. After two quick jabs to make sure they stayed down, and melted away, I called out for Big Mac. He responded with a surprisingly loud "Eeyup" over in a large tangle of ponies and Greyfaces. I sprinted over to help him out.

Now, I ain't usually a violent pony. Still don't really feel like I am.

But these weren't really alive, what I was fighting.

And these ponies around me were my ponies, from my home, bleeding and dying all around me, and I could do nothing about it but keep swinging my hooves.

So I did.





Somehow we managed to keep the Greyfaces from boarding the train en masse, and the guards there were able to deal with the few that slipped through.

Didn't do much for those of us stuck on the platform.

Didn't know whether to cheer or weep when the train left us there, fighting for our lives.

Sure, the next train was supposed to come in twenty minutes, but it was gonna be a long twenty minutes.



Under the direction of the Royal Guard, we managed to move off of the platform and into the relatively safe station building. Didn't know how to feel, herded into the building with the rest of the townsponies. I needed to be out there, fighting. I'd just seen Carrot Top die, right in front of me, mere seconds before. I tried to call out to her, to warn her, but it was too late. All the Greyface needed was just one solid thwack to the back of her head, and she collapsed to the ground, limbs askew, eyes rolled up, and head at a very, very wrong angle.

I had just gotten done with sweeping that particular Greyface's legs out from under it and stomping it into nothingness when they started moving us all to shelter. Thankfully, the guards had already secured the building, so we hid there while the battle raged on outside. It was torture, knowing other ponies were only dozens of feet away, and I was stuck in here.

This would be about the time when I realized I hadn't seen any of the other Elements of Harmony. I was sure they were fine, but boy did I miss them right then.



Soon, but not as soon as I'd like, the train showed up, and in a surprisingly organized and directed mob we rushed out the door, watching the skies. Well, most of the others did. I was too busy looking at the bodies littering the train platform. So many neighbors. I didn't know all their names, but I knew their faces. There was the owner of that Quill and Sofa shop. There were two of the Flower Mares.

I was curious about the third when I heard a particular choked sob and the last one, Roseluck, rushed past me to her friends. I didn't wanna be that mare, but we had to go, so I picked her up, slung her over my back, and jumped onto the train with the others. Once the all-too-short line disappeared, the Royal Guards boarded the train as well, and we took off, a lot faster than the trains normally go, but understandable given the circumstances.

I was still concerned for my friends, but I was sure I'd meet them in Canterlot. I would know if one of them had died, right?



Turns out I would know, immediately, but that's a story for another time. I need to go manage some cabbages and carrots.