//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4 - Filling the ranks, day 2 
// Story: Princess Twilight's Omnicultural Multi-ethnic All-encompassing Defense Force 
// by Anatinus 
//------------------------------//

It was early in the morning, on the second day of the interviews. The candidates weren't supposed to arrive until later, so Twilight was having breakfast at the tiny cafe in the plaza, with a rather unconventional trio of guests: the wandering mule who she kept meeting since almost her first days in Ponyville and two of Applejack's cows, Mooriel and Lulubelle. Spike was also there, but like most young ones he was more interested in filling his belly than contributing to the conversation. After a bit of chit-chat, the talk had fallen on a topic the princess currently had more close to her heart: why none of the Ponyvillian, pony or otherwise, had been among the candidates for the Force.
"Ya see, yer Hiness", was saying Lulubelle, "It ain't 'zactly that Ponyville ain't aware of th' importance of yer Guard thing... it's jest that we all happ'n ter have a werk."
Mooriel nodded solemnly.
"As my rustic friend pointed out, your Highness, Ponyville is a country town, based on the work of its inhabitants. No matter how humble, every one of us has a job to which he or she has dedicated the whole life." she tutted. "And before you ask - and apologies if you weren't going to - being milked isn't a cakewalk. If you don't believe me, you're welcome to give it a try."
The mule took advantage of the sudden, awkward silence that followed to add his two cents. "That's correct, your Highness. Every Ponyvillian has a job, and he carries it out with dedication, musical numbers notwithstanding. I, for example, work for the ground section of the delivery office. That's why I'm always around."
Twilight nodded. That explained a lot. "Thank you, um..."
"Francis. My dad was a traditionalist."
Another nod. This conversation was becoming quite fruitful. "Well, that means that I shouldn't expect cows, mules or sheep..."
Mooriel smiled. "Well, not Ponyvillian ones, at least. Then again, there might be a few dreamers willing to forfeit their job for a chance at glory..."
A waiter stopped by, attracting Twilight's attention with a gentle cough. "Apologies, Princess, but you asked to be informed when it was about a quarter to ten. It is now."
Twilight stood up from her seat, paid the bill, loaded Spike on her back and turned to leave. "Today I have to interview the second wave of candidates. Wish me luck!"
As she left, Francis grimaced. "...she'll need it... as I was coming here, I saw a few of her new candidates. Really, she'll need it."
Lulubelle turned to look at him. "An' yeh di'nt tell 'er?"
Francis sighed: "That wouldn't have helped. Trust me."

Despite Francis's dread words, the first interviews had been rather uneventful, although not positive, since the candidates were mostly hoping to fill the classic "Stand in the corridor and look imposing" role most ponies thought Celestia's guards filled. The fact that such an assumption about the Solar Guard was very, very wrong (and very offensive to Twilight's brother) didn't help either. 
Twilight was starting to despair, when the next candidate stepped in - or at least tried to. All Twilight could see was four long spotted legs that kept bending, shifting and straightening, and sometimes part of an equally spotted body; then, after a bit of careful maneuvering the candidate was able to get in - from the neck onwards. She was, as Twilight had guessed, a giraffe, one of the tallest herbivores in Zebrica: from her delicate features, probably a female.
Twilight tried to remember the few lessons of Zebrican Zecora had given her, as she didn't want to repeat the embarrassing situation with Nyota the previous day, and neither Lost Cause nor Zecora were at hand.
"Jambo! [hello!]"
The giraffe looked at her puzzled, her head tilting slightly in confusion. "Er, what? I... I'm sorry, I don't speak Zebrican. I mean, my dad did, but I was born in Equestria..."
Twilight grimaced. So much for assumptions... 
"...yes, right. As I was saying, hello. My name is Twilight  Sparkle. And you are?" 
Her eyes ran down the list of candidates. Usually, it was considered more polite to have the candidate introduce him or herself, but just in case...
Her oversized interlocutor smiled gently, nodding.
"My name is Steady Ascent, your highness. Honored to be at your presence."
Twilight looked at her. The name sounded somehow familiar.
"Did we meet once? I mean, I have met a few giraffes before, but I can't really put my hoof on it... and please, call me Twilight."
Steady Ascent sighed. "I... I don't really stand out, yo - um, Twilight, strange as it may sound. Probably you heard of me because I used to work at a place you attended regularly... somepony could even say constantly. And if her Highness Princess Celestia didn't inform me of your initiative, I'd still be there."
Twilight's eyebrows shot up. "You know the Princess?"
The giraffe nodded: "She's another regular at my old workplace. You see, I used to work at Canterlot's Central Library. I'm a certified librarian, degree and all."
That got her Twilight's undivided attention... not to mention almost a faceful of alicorn plumage, as she lifted off to get nose to nose with her.
"And you left that job to get here? But... but that's my dream job! Why, I used to be Ponyville's own librarian, before my, er, "ascension" - and before Tirek turned the town library to ashes."
Steady Ascent let out a deep, sad sigh, as her head turned around slightly to examine the many books filling the room's many shelves.
"I can see that, Twilight. And let me tell you, that would be my dream job as well, IF I was a pony. I love books, and I love reading. Literature is my one true passion. A friend of mine from the college days used to joke that I had the Doe Decimal System flowing into my veins. Sadly, I'm a giraffe... and let's say that the Canterlot bureaucracy isn't used to seeing the merits of anyone who isn't born without a horn on the forehead, so my tasks weren't exactly what a librarian is called to perform."
Twilight looked at her, confused: "What do you mean?"
Steady Ascent lowered her head, a sad expression on the snout. "I was a ladder."
"What."
The giraffe nodded once, then moved a hoof to trace imaginary lines on her body, and explained. "You see, there's a weird little contraption down in the library's storage area, and when you strap it here... and here... and here... and here, it turns into steps. I just have to be careful to tie the last strap around the horns, or the weight of the climber risks choking me."
Twilight squinted briefly, taking a mental note to have a long, in-depth discussion with Canterlot's Central Library's board of directors - then her head snapped up, her eyes growing as wide as saucers. Images of a tiny purple filly inching up a lot of steps, encouraged by a kind voice coming from up high, floated in her mind.
"M-miss Leg?"
Steady Ascent started laughing. "My, my, it's been a LONG time since I've been called that way. Nice to see you again, little Twi."
Twilight looked at her, flabbergasted: "I-I'm sorry, it's just that you're big, and I was tiny, and..."
The giraffe smiled kindly, a soft expression on her snout: "And you were pretty much unable to see me in my entirety. Anyway, if you wondered why I wanted to join... I just wanted to work with someone who always respected me, even if just as a filly."
Twilight looked at her seriously: "And you will. Welcome to the Force."
The heartfelt reunion and solemn declaration were then slightly ruined by Steady Ascent having to maneuver in reverse to leave the office, which required the help of Pinkie Pie and Spike and lots of complex contortions.

A few candidates later, Twilight was checking her lists when she suddenly felt observed. VERY observed. She looked up from the scroll, and her gaze met a pair of wide, wild eyes scant inches from her nose. She bounced back, her wings flared up in alarm... and found herself staring at a tiny, scruffy, giggling griffon chick.
"You're funny, lady!"
Twilight sighed. This was starting to look like a running gag. A BAD running gag. As she sat back up, she noticed that on the chair in front of her desk was sitting a tall, tired looking female griffon.
"Sorry for not knocking, your highness. It's just that little George barged in as soon as he saw our number coming up, and I had to get in and try doing some damage control."
The griphlet perked up, smiling widely. "I'm George!"
Twilight looked at the little one, smiling back: "I figured that. So, is your sister the candidate, or are you?"
That brought forth another giggle from the chick.
"You're silly, lady! That's not my sister, that's my mom! And she's the coolest mom in Griffonstone!"
The older griffon shook her head, then spoke. "I'm sorry, princess. I just couldn't find a sitter in time. I mean, I was told that the pink mare at the bakery could help, but she was busy..."
Twilight nodded. "I see. So, why were you planning on joining the Force?"
"Career choices, mostly. I've been a sargeant in the Griffonstone Militia most of my life, then I had George and they suggested that I take it easy, relax and enjoy motherhood. Which sounded quite a bit like "Learn your priorities, trooper.". Problem is, I still need to work, and the thing I'm best at is being a soldier... but with the Militia unavailable and the Equestrian army only hiring ponies I was kind of out of ideas. Then I heard of your Force project, and here I am."
"I... see. I must admit that having in the field someone who's knowledgeable about military matters would help. Of course, you'd have to find someone to look after George when you're on duty."
The griffon gave a curt nod. "That can be arranged. Thank you, princess."
"No, thank you, um... I don't believe you told me your name."
The griffon seemed to collapse on herself at those words, a visible blush showing under her feathers. "That's because my name is Glinda."
Twilight's ears perked, trying to catch the last word. "What?"
"GLINDA. My name is Glinda, ok? I swear, dad and his love of fairy tales..."
Twilight looked at Glinda with a puzzled expression: "How did you manage in the Griffonstone Militia like that? I mean, you seem to have problem with your name..."
"They simply called me by my nickname, Stormwreaker. Or, you know, simply Sarge."
"Well, I can't call you sarge since your position hasn't been decided yet, but I can say you're definitely in... Stormwreaker."
Glinda snapped to attention... then, after a dive to stop her chick from toppling the inkwell on Twilight's scrolls, got back to attention and saluted. 
"Thank you, your highness, ma'am." 
Then she briskly walked out, with the little griphlet waving at Twilight from his seat on her back.
"Bye, silly lady! I like you!"

And so, the day went on, with others walking in to offer their availability for the Force, with variable results. The list was reaching the end, when she noticed a weird detail: the three names right before the last one were gathered under the same entry. She got off her seat and walked to  the door; probably it was a mistake of some kind, but it would be a good idea to check with Spike before deciding. 
As she opened the door, she noticed that the waiting area had definitely emptied: the only remaining candidates were two huge masses of muscle, a towering bison and an equally humongous yak. Then she saw Spike hiding behind his table, together with, seemingly, a couple of ponies. The reason for their hiding was quite clear: the two colossal bovines were glaring daggers at each other, snarling.
Twilight floated her list from the desk, reading the names. Sure enough, the ones before the weird triple entry were not pony names. She cleared her throat, attracting the attention of everyone in the room. Of course, that had the unpleasant side effect of making HER the target of the stare of the titans.
She cleared her throat again, trying to appear dignified, despite feeling pathetically tiny. "Would you mind telling me what's going on here?"
The yak snorted. "Was waiting for turn, when suddenly big cow person get up and in my face. She look very angry, and wanting to challenge. Yak not here to fight, but yak never backs from challenge, so got ready to fight. That when princess get in room."
The bison stared at him incredulously, then answered, in an outraged tone: "Oh, please! Yaks not wanting to fight? Do you think I'm stupid? I heard about what your prince did the last time he showed up here!"
"Oh really? Then bison trying to tear down Appleloosa is just big prank?"
"THAT WAS JUST TO DEFEND OUR TRADITIONS, AND IT WAS SOLVED PEACEFULLY!"
"SAME FOR YAKS!"
Twilight felt a headache rising, as the two seemed ready to butt heads - literally, knowing the fighting styles of their races. Well, not today: she had a long day, and was tired, and didn't feel like having her castle wrecked again. Her horn started glowing, and the bovines found themselves floating in mid-air.
"I've had enough of this. If you want to start a brawl, do it outside my castle... and, possibly, my town. Also, let me tell you that you pretty much blew your chance: my Force is based on the concept of friendship, and arguing like that doesn't sound very friendly to me."
The bison struggled a bit, then started whining... something that sounded irritating coming from a grown pony like Rarity, and absolutely ridiculous coming from a half ton mass of muscle.
"But... but he started it! He kept staring at me from the moment I got in here! I felt his eyes boring into me constantly! What did I do to him to deserve that?"
The yak sighed deeply, then turned his  head, a slight blush visible under his thick, shaggy fur. "Can't help it."
"Why?"
"Rutgerd find lady bison very pretty. Thin and graceful. And when she turn to look at Rutgerd, Rutgerd see that lady bison has prettiest blue eyes."
The bison's expression shifted to utter surprise: "You... you're kidding, right?"
Rutgerd shook his head, a shy smile on the muzzle. "Rutgerd not joke on pretty lady. Too smitten."
The bison started blushing and smiling in kind. For some reason, Twilight felt that it was safe to lower the two to the floor again.
"My name is Leaf in the Wind. And thank you." She reached over with a hoof and lifted the mop-like hair of the yak. "You have very pretty green eyes too."
"Rutgerd sorry. Just want to come and show yak friends of pony. Make things better."
"Same here. And yet, we messed up."
Rutgerd looked her deep in the eyes, moving his head closer to hers. "Got to meet Leaf. Worth it, even if never get in."
Leaf closed the distance even more. "Still, it would have been nice to try."
The two moved even closer. "Yes. Would have."

Across town, Rarity felt as if thousands of cheesy romance writers had suddenly screamed in approvation, and then fallen silent. She looked at the book she was reading - one of the ones that she kept carefully hidden from Sweetie Belle - and nodded. That was some good trash.

As the two massive colossi started making out, Twilight noticed that the pony behind the table was trying to attract her attention. Releasing the breath she hadn't noticed she was holding, she moved closer, noticing with surprise that there were three ponies, rather than two, behind the table with Spike: an earth pony, an unicorn and a pegasus. They were also identical, aside from the race and the cutie mark (a bowling pin for the pegasus, a trapeze for the unicorn and a deck of cards for the earth pony)  - but the most surprising detail was that they were all midgets.
The one that had called her over, namely the unicorn, took a deep and rather extravagant bow. "Greetings, Your Highness. Apologies for disturbing, but since I feel that there's no way to tell our powerful friends there "Get a room" without getting mauled, I and my brothers were wondering if we could have the presumption to request moving us forward up the list?"
Twilight looked for a moment at the towering lovebirds, then simply nodded, motioning for the trio to follow her to the office. As she was getting inside,  she turned back. She felt that she had to say something.
"I... I, er, will consider you as possible candidates. It's obvious that it was a simple misunderstanding, and you're not even hearing a single  word I'm saying, right?"
She turned to look at Spike, that was sitting on a stool with a bag of popcorn. She had no idea where he kept getting those, but she had a suspicion that a certain pink party pony had something to do with it.
"Spike, when they're done, tell them what I said. I have to talk with the last candidates. I mean, there was a last name in the list, but I can't see anyone here..."
Spike nodded, with a surprisingly solemn face.
"That's because She's outside, Twi. I'll get you there later."

Back in her office, Twilight sat back behind the desk and turned to look at the triplets, who were sitting in perfect formation in front of it. Of course, that meant that she could barely see their ears. With a sigh, she got back up and around the desk, in order to see them better.
"So, may I ask for your names, and why you're interested in joining the Force?"
The unicorn stood up and bowed. "We are the Famous Ring Brothers, circus performers extraordinaire! I'm Trapeze, high flying acrobat!"
To his left, the pegasus followed suit: "And I'm Baton, the juggler!"
The earth pony concluded: "And I, your highness, am Shadow Mirror, stage magician and sleight of hand expert!"
Well, that explained the cutie marks. "Pleased to meet you, gentlecolts. So, why do three artist like you want to join my Force, if I may ask?"
To Twilight's surprise, the question seemed to suck all the enthusiasm out of the trio. Trapeze looked at her with very sad eyes. "Alas, dear Princess, we were born to be circus performers. Our parents were performers, as were our grandparents, and their parents before them. We were trained in all the routines and tricks of the stage. We could juggle, throw knives, swing in the air, walk the tightrope, tame wild animals, everything. We even got our cutie marks by doing so. Our parents were very, very proud of us, bless them. But when all is said and done, as our ringmaster oh-so-kindly told us, we're just what we are: midgets. Dwarfs. Shortstacks. Halfpints. And that meant that if we wanted to walk the stage, it had to be as clowns."
Baton interjected, frowning: "Maybe you already guessed it, but our ringmaster was kind of a jerk."
Shadow Mirror patted his brother's shoulder gently: "Well, to make a long story short, we had to pack up and go to Ponyacci's Clown Academy. We gave it our best shot, but, well, as you can guess our hearts were not in it. So, one day, old Ponyacci took us to one side and told us "my friends, your performance is top notch. Your timing is wonderful. But... you're not laughing inside. This is not a chore,  you know.". Kindest pony on stage, that Ponyacci. We thanked him for his time, and left. Tried our luck with many circuses and theatres, but they only saw three tiny ponies. Comedic relief. Until, one day, a fellow performer took notice of us, and suggested that we apply here, because maybe this way we could show that we're more than simply midgets. She also told us that if there was a pony in all of Equestria that could see beyond our looks - aside from Princess Celestia, bless her - that pony could only be Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
Twilight blushed deeply. "O-out of curiosity, who was the pony that suggested that?"
The trio grinned, rearing in a familiar, if slightly pompous, pose: "Why, the Great..." "...and Powerful..." "...Trixie, of course!"
Twilight looked at them, silent, then looked upwards, apparently waiting for something. Trapeze looked at her, confused.
"...is something wrong, Princess?"
"...I'm sorry. For some reason, I was half expecting fireworks. Anyway, I think that you'll do just fine. Welcome in the Omnicultural Multi-Ethnic All-Encompassing Defense Force!"
The three brothers once more bowed deeply, then left; as they went through the door, Twilight thought that she heard Trapeze - or was he Baton? - whisper "Omnicultural Multi... brothers, are you sure that we haven't rejoined the circus?"

Having checked the triplets on her list, Twilight left her office and entered the waiting room, finding it empty except for Spike. The little dragon was reading a comic, but shifted his attention eagerly to Twilight. Springing up from his seat, he rushed over to her.
"Hurry,Twilight! You don't want to keep the last candidate waiting!"
Spike put a hand on her shoulder, and started leading her toward the entrance.
"Spike, what..."
"You wouldn't believe me."
When they got to the door, Spike opened it and waved her through with an elegant flourish. Twilight was impressed: apparently all those days spent trying to woo Rarity had taught the young dragon a certain modicum of style. Nodding in appreciation, she stepped through the door... and right into a massive, blackish-blue scaled snout.
"Oh, I'm sorry, little one. I was waiting to meet the princess, and I sort of dozed off, and... um..."
Twilight's interlocutor sat up on her colossal haunches, spreading two bat-like wings for balance, and started to rummage into a relatively small satchel (that, to the average pony, would have looked like a huge sack) tied to one side, her long, swan-like neck curving to move the head to the mouth of the satchel. Yep, that was a dragon. A female one, not yet an adult but still probably much older than Spike. Twilight was examining her structure, noticing a long, sail-like fin going from the forehead to the tip of her tail and two long, curved horns that seemed to follow slightly the shape of the skull, when, with a triumphant grin, the draconess finally fished out her prize.
Glasses. They were glasses the size of a cart's wheel, connected by a pince-nez the size of Big MacIntosh's yoke. With a quick movement that hinted to years of practice, the draconess put them on, looked once more at Twilight... and promptly started panicking.
"I-I'm sorry, uh, Princess! I was, was, was expecting somepony the size of Princess Celestia, not that you're not large enough, and please don't think I'm implying that you're fat, because you're not, and I can't see very well, I'm nearsighted, you see, so when somepony bumped my nose I thought..."
Twilight looked up at the massive dragon, frowning. In the books she had read there was nothing about how to deal with a draconic freakout. For lack of better options, she tried suggesting the respiration technique Cadance had taught her.
"Calm down. Now, relax, and take deep breaths. Deeep breaths."
The draconess complied, and slowly relaxed - although her first breath came out as a gout of flame. She blushed deeply.
"S-sorry. I, uh, I have to admit that I'm not exactly a social dragon. More, er, of a quartz formation."
Twilight turned to Spike, puzzled.
"There aren't many wallflowers in dragon caves, Twi."
"Oh."
"I, I wanted to ask if I could join your, er, Omnicultural Multi-Ethnic All-Encompassing Defense Force. I heard of it from my little cousin, who heard of it from little Mina down in Dragontown. It sounded interesting, and I thought that maybe, well, I could make myself useful... beats sitting on my tail and polishing my hoard - not that I have much of one, mind you - while waiting for the next migration."
Twilight nodded. "Well, that's as good a reason as any other, um..."
The draconess looked definitely embarrassed. "Oh, goodness, I didn't introduce myself! My name is Serendibite, but my friends call me Sera. Honored to make your acquaintance, Princess."
Twilight looked lost in thought for a moment: "Serendibite? As in the rare gem?"
Sera nodded, with a slight grimace. "When I was hatched, mother told father to choose a name for me, and when he said that he didn't know of any good ones, mother said to choose a name that he liked. Turns out, my father is a glutton."
Twilight nodded, then looked once more at Sera: "So, what do you think you can do for the Force? Oh, and thank you for using the full name."
Sera smiled. "I, I'm not exactly good at fighting, I'm kind of awkward and I panic easily... but I thought that I could be useful for, you know, logistics. After all, I'm very strong and I can fly... Oh, and I heard names like that before. You see, older dragons tend to be a bit long winded. N-not that I think that, uh, that you're l-long winded! I'm sure that you are, are, are just very cultured and the name is very, um, pretty and..."
Twilight facehooved. An awkward dragon. Just  great... Still, the draconess had a point about logistics.
"Very well. I guess we'll give you a try. See you tomorrow, with the rest of the troops!"
After listening to Sera's stammering thanks, Twilight got back inside her castle. It was getting late, and the next day she had to organize the troops, have them take an oath - she hadn't even thought of what kind - and more. Of course, she promptly freaked out.
In his room, Spike looked outside the window at the shuddering draconic form, listened at Twilight's ranting from across the corridor, then decided to write to Princess Celestia. Who knows, maybe synchronized panic could be a new discipline at the Equestria Games...