Ms. Sparkle,
I honestly was about to ask you the same thing. I want to take this as diplomatically as possible. I’ll begin by introducing myself. My name is Toby Cray. I’m a species known as a human being from a planet called Earth. I’m a sophomore at the University of Chicago, in the state of Illinois, which is a part of the United States of America, the country I live in.
And to clarify, I have not been trying to contact you. Denver is a city in Colorado, another state, and I have an assignment to write to someone there and study their linguistic patterns. How you are getting my letters is a mystery to myself as well. Whatever the reason may be, I hope this information will suffice in some way.
Apologies,
Toby Cray