//------------------------------// // Chapter 30 // Story: Luna's Lacunae // by kudzuhaiku //------------------------------// The room at the top of the tower was circular, but much larger than it should have been. Of course it was. Luna looked around, hoping to spot clues that would help her. Maeve’s mind was alien, but there were similarities. There were shelves lining the wall, shelves filled with books and… stuffed animals. As Luna stood there, staring, Maeve’s mother picked up Red Russet, kissed him, and the tiny potato sized colt turned into a tiny potato sized stuffed colt. The tall, wild haired woman placed the colt on a shelf next to a little stuffed rabbit, and next to the stuffed rabbit was a stuffed version of Luna that was overshadowed by a large stuffed boar. Luna once again had found herself in Maeve’s mind. She watched as Maeve’s mother patted the stuffed Luna on the head. There were others, many others; Twilight Sparkle, Celestia, Cadance, Shining Armor, Rose Gold, Quickie Cob, Raven, Fuschia, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, the Cakes, and a whole host of other ponies. Confused, Luna tried to put the pieces together and found that she couldn’t. Why would there be stuffed representations of all these ponies inside of Maeve’s mind? “That’s a lot of stuffed ponies,” Twilight said as she made herself right at home and began to examine the shelves, going right up to them to have a look. Maeve’s mother turned and looked at the group. “Names have power. None of you do anything to protect your names. Because Maeve knows your name, she keeps a tiny piece of your soul in her essence. For good or for ill. It is our magic, the magic of the ljásálfar, and also of the fae. Knowledge of the name allows for the use of the Wyrding Voice.” “Um, what does this voice do?” Twilight, who was looking at a stuffed version of Shining Armor turned and looked at Maeve’s mother. “Is this how a part of you is still alive?” The tall, almost feral looking wild woman nodded. “But I prepared for my own end, long before I lost my blessing.” Maeve’s mother sighed as she went to a chair and sat down. “The Wyrding Voice is a terrible power. It can be used to cause pain. It can be used to compel a person to do things against their will, to make you do things that you’d never do otherwise. But it is also a boon. The Wyrding Voice can be used to dispel fear, remove doubt, and break the magical hold of others. It is not evil magic, but nor is it good. It simply is.” “This is why Lunn kept his name from Maeve,” Luna said. “Yes.” Maeve’s mother looked at the blue alicorn. “If Maeve had known his name, she might have forced him to drink a glass of acid, or told him to walk off of a cliff, and he would have been forced to do so, providing that Maeve’s will was sufficient to compel him.” “That’s horrible!” Twilight shuddered and then stared at Maeve’s mother with wide, frightened eyes. “So Maeve has all of our names…” Twilight turned her head and looked at the stuffed version of herself, her eyes unblinking and her ears folded back against her head. “Before having Maeve, I saw much and traveled a great deal. Never in my journeys did I encounter a species such as yours before. Such potential for good.” Maeve’s mother, who had been looking at Twilight, turned her head and looked at Luna. “Such potential for evil.” The wild woman’s eyes continued to Cadance. “Or the potential for such rampant emotional destruction.” Shining Armor, having observed this, said nothing, not wanting to know what the strange woman had to say about him. He glanced at Cadance, worried for her, and saw that she looked disturbed. “This isn’t exactly how I had hoped that this would happen, but given what I had to work with, this works well enough for my purposes.” Maeve’s mother rubbed her hands together; she had long, skinny fingers. “It took all I had to exert what little will I had to have Maeve grab one of you by your horn. It is as I suspected, your horn has a direct connection to your souls. It was originally my intention to have Maeve grab you.” The wild haired woman pointed at Luna. “Me?” Luna shook her head. “I took a gamble. I knew that my brother would search for Maeve once something happened to me. It was a matter of time… the human experience was not what I had hoped and dreamed of, but, I did get Maeve, so it was worth it. I knew that Bjarke would find Maeve somehow and would cause her blessing to manifest. After Maeve had her magic, it was just a matter of getting her fingers around one of your horns. The circumstances I needed finally presented themselves and now, now I have what I wanted here in front of me.” “I am confused. What is it that you want and what does it have to do with me?” Luna asked as she tilted her head and locked eyes with Maeve. “You show a remarkable ability to manipulate events and keep going even after your death. Your actions begin to concern me.” “I am her mother.” Maeve’s voice was low, but fierce. One hand clenched into a fist. “Maeve is an extraordinary creature. She has the human strength of spirit and the ljásálfar sense of purpose. Nothing will stop me from looking after my daughter.” The wild haired woman rose from her chair and towered over the others in the room. “Maeve needs a mother. She needs someone who will guide her… keep her moving forwards. Someone who will push her towards some greater purpose so her talents, her gifts are not wasted.” Ears back, trembling, Luna backed away from Maeve, retreating until she bumped into the door behind her. “I am not the one you are looking for—” “And who are you to tell me otherwise?” Maeve’s mother stepped forwards, towering over Luna. The giantess seemed to be growing larger, while Luna seemed to be shrinking and becoming smaller. Twilight let out a frightened squeak while Cadance ducked behind Shining Armor. The giantess stomped towards Luna, causing the whole room to shake and tremble. Books fell askew in their shelves. Knick knacks rattled. The many, many stuffed animals bounced around, some of them falling over upon one another. “I have examined the depths of your soul, I have seen your measure, I know of your mistakes, I know of your past, and yet I still determined you to be worthy!” Maeve’s mother reached down and snatched up Luna, who was now little more than a foal. She lifted the tiny blue alicorn up and held her at eye level. “You made a mistake. You did something bad. You seek redemption, but you will not find it, no matter where you look, no matter how much you search, because you are looking in all of the wrong places!” Luna whimpered and her four stubby little legs kicked as she tried to get free. “Redemption is not an external force. It must be found from within. You look everywhere but within yourself because that is the one place you cannot bear to look. You fear your own darkness. You are like a foolish girl that loses a trinket in a dark cellar, flees, and then refuses to turn on the light to look for her trinket! Every day you continue to pay for your mistakes, punishing yourself, continuing in your self flagellation, mewling and whining about the wrong you have done!” Maeve pulled the small foal close, crushing filly Luna to her bosom. “You crossed an ocean of time and space to rescue one little girl because you thought she needed help. You did so with no thought of yourself, your safety, or of the consequences of such an impetuous and foolish action. These are not the actions of an evil soul, these are the actions of a good and virtuous soul, one who would sacrifice anything to help others. Can you not see that?” Luna let out a frightened squeak, shook her head, and then whispered the word, “No.” Cadance, whose soft heart ached, listened as Luna wailed while being held by Maeve’s mother. The giantess had sat back down in her chair was now holding Luna while the foal wept, stroking Luna’s ears and her neck while trying to comfort her. She glanced at Shining Armor, a questioning look in her eye, and she watched him shrug after a moment of silent, wordless communication. Hearing the rustle of feathers, Cadance watched as Twilight approached Maeve’s mother, her head low, her ears back, a curious look in her eye. Twilight was ever the curious one. Cadance, who was holding her breath but didn’t know it, watched, wondering what would happen next. When Twilight got too close to the chair, there was a loud crackle and suddenly Twilight Sparkle was filly sized once more. Cadance let out a worried gasp and watched as Twilight was seized by a silver glow. She backed up, bumped into Shining Armor, and then she sat down beside him, her legs wobbling too much to stand. The giantess had both of them clutched against her bosom, and was squeezing them together. As Cadance watched, Twilight wrapped her legs around Luna’s neck and held her as she wept. “This one loves you. Of this, there can be no doubt.” Maeve’s mother gave Twilight a pat on her back and then looked at Cadance, almost as if she was daring the pink alicorn to come closer to her chair. Cadance felt Shining Armor’s leg slide over her withers and she leaned up against him. She was glad for his touch, grateful for his presence, and she realised that Shining Armor wasn’t scared, worried, or upset in the slightest. His breathing was calm and regular. Cadance worked to get her breathing to match his. “Don’t you want to love her back? This one is special. She sees your potential.” Maeve’s mother lowered her head and spoke into Luna’s quivering ear. “You will never be able to give your heart to her or give her the love she deserves until you learn to love yourself. Eventually, your self loathing will tear the two of you apart. Give her a chance to love you. Give yourself a chance to love.” “Luna, Maeve loves you. Celestia loves you. I love you. Give us a chance. Please?” Little filly Twilight pressed her snoot into filly Luna’s cheek. “We want to help you. Just… give us a chance, please? I’m begging you.” “What do I need to do?” Luna asked. “How do I fix this?” She sniffled and her face was snotty. “How do I fix me?” “You start by forgiving yourself. Then you begin the difficult process of loving yourself… after that, it gets easier. You let others love you. This room is full of those who love you. They’ll help you if you let them,” Maeve replied. “How do I help Maeve? I have struggled to make her better… I cannot bear her suffering… is there something I can do to help fix it? Is there some way to ease her suffering? How do I ease her pain?” Luna squeezed her eyes shut and continued to cry, letting everything bottled up inside out, shedding tears of pain, remorse, and sorrow. The giantess shook her head. “You cannot.” Maeve’s mother glanced at Cadance and Shining Armor. “But you might be able to ask for help, if your pride will let you. Sometimes, a mother, for whatever reason, becomes helpless. She can do nothing, and as much as it hurts, she must sit and watch as others help her child. This is a hard lesson I’ve had to learn for myself. I have to ask you to do what I cannot. Raise Maeve and see that she becomes a good person. See that she is educated. See that her potential is explored.” “So what do I do?” Luna asked. Maeve, clutching both Twilight and Luna in one long arm against her bosom, reached down and began to dig around in a pocket with her right hand. After a moment, she pulled out a key hanging on a silver chain. She gave the key a wistful glance, her eyes sorrowful, and then slipped the chain over Luna’s head, allowing it to slide down the alicorn’s neck. “What is this?” Luna, still snotty, looked down at the key. “It’s warm.” “This is the key to my daughter’s heart. Her most innermost place. The place that you have tried to reach so you could help her and have been turned away from. This will let you in, but I must warn you, you will not like what you see,” Maeve’s mother replied. Blinking, Luna lifted her head. Maeve’s mother was pointing at a door in the far wall. Luna stared at the door and felt a cold prickle in her heart. Something about the door terrified her. Looking at the door, she knew that she couldn’t do this on her own. “If I go through that door, will I be able to help Maeve?” Luna asked. “Hard to say.” Maeve’s mother shook her head. “It could be the beginning of real healing. You might give Maeve a real chance at happiness. She wants to love. She wants to touch others. But as long as her heart remains injured, she will be unable to recover.” “She loves Red,” Twilight said in a low voice, her cheeks turning beet red. “I know.” Maeve’s mother looked at the stuffed red colt on the shelf. “Bjarke fell in love with a sapient, talking skunk. He’s very embarrassed about it, but love is what it is. He loved her, she loved him, they roamed the woods together and they were happy. Sometimes, I joined them. But she grew old… and Bjarke didn’t. He was with her right up until the very end and he buried her under a cairn in a field of flowers where they loved to frolic together.” “That… that is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard!” Cadance wailed as she burst into tears. She clung to Shining Armor, sobbing, her barrel hitching, each sob causing a sorrowful moan to escape. “I loved a human. Not much different than Bjarke’s skunk in the bigger picture of things. After watching Bjarke mope for almost two hundred years, I wasn’t sure I could deal with immortality any longer.” Maeve’s mother shook her head as she scooped up both Luna and Twilight, then set them down upon the floor. “Poor little Maeve is going to have a tough time looking past the body differences. She’s going to need a very patient, very loving mentor to see her through the many questions and issues she’s bound to have.” Staring at the door, Luna grew larger, becoming a tall blue alicorn once more. A grim look of fierce determination settled over her face and her eyes narrowed. “I am going to need help,” Luna whispered, her words scratchy and full of pain. She hated asking for help, but knew it was necessary. “What are friends for?” Twilight replied as she moved to Luna’s side. “I’m still sad about the skunk… I need to give poor Bjarke a hug!” Cadance said as she rose to her hooves and trotted to Luna’s side. “It takes so much courage to love something so different from you, to look past how different they are on the outside and see the beauty within.” “I’m in.” Shining Armor also moved to Luna’s side, joining Cadance and his sister. “Good luck. I doubt that we will meet again, but who knows. I’ll be here inside of Maeve. Please…” Maeve’s mother rose up from her chair, took a few steps, and touched Luna. “Be the mother that I couldn’t. Keep her safe from harm.” “I will do everything in my power to do so,” Luna replied, closing her eyes and then taking a deep breath after she spoke. She opened her eyes again, turned her head, and looked Maeve’s mother in the eye, noting the many freckles. “I do not know what you see in me, but I hope I do not let you down.” “Maeve needed help and you answered… that’s all I needed to see,” Maeve’s mother replied. She lifted her hands and gestured to the other ponies around Luna. “Be good to my girl.” Twilight nodded as Luna took her first step towards the door. When Luna touched the door, the round room vanished. It was now dark, so very dark, and it was difficult to see. Luna heard a shriek, which caused her ears to perk and made her heart start thumping in her chest. She took off at a run, her hooves clattering over dingy grey stones that were illuminated by the light of her horn, and she let out a fierce cry of anger as she surged forwards. Luna was an alicorn, a being of immense power, strength, and mystical ability. She was a force of nature, in very much the same way that Maeve was also a force of nature. She moved with austere beauty as she tore down the hallway in a full out gallop. Her silver shod hooves struck sparks, her long neck was extended forwards, her ears were folded back against her skull, and she moved with terrific fluid grace. Each hoof striking the floor was a thunderclap. As Luna charged forwards, her appearance changed. Silver armor manifested, beautiful, of ancient design, the armor she had worn long ago had finally returned to her as it was, before Nightmare Moon’s taint had corrupted it, turning it black and ugly. Luna was swift moving death, a terrible force that prowled the shadows and punished those who hid their crimes in the darkness. Her teeth were bared as she barreled forwards down the hall, picking up speed, her ears ringing with the sound of Maeve’s terrible, agonised shrieks. Ahead, Luna saw the stuff of her nightmares. She saw Maeve’s father. Her heart in her throat, Luna screamed and somehow coaxed a bit more speed out of her hooves. She could see him beating Maeve. One hand was around her throat, strangling her, while the other punched her in the stomach over and over. Luna’s wings flared out and her hooves lifted from the floor. She glided forwards like a dart, her lips curled back in a terrible snarl, her nostrils flaring, and she let out a nightmare scream. She braced herself for impact with Maeve’s father and— Luna flew right through him. Luna smashed into a very solid wall and bounced off. She fell to the ground, her armor clattering, and she shook her head as she tried to clear the stars from her vision. Growling, Luna sprang to her hooves and moved to attack again. Screaming with enough force to almost shred her vocal cords, Luna lept at Maeve’s father. Once more, she passed through him, unable to land a blow. She landed on her hooves, balanced herself, and then decided to try and protect Maeve instead. Luna’s horn flared with brilliant light and she tried to pull Maeve away, but her magic found nothing she could grab. “NO!” Luna stomped down on the floor with enough force to shatter the stone. “NO!” Luna let out a long wordless yell of rage as she stood there, unable to do anything to help. As she stood watching, Maeve’s father kicked her, punched, her, slapped her, and then, much to Luna’s horror, began shoving Maeve down to the floor. “NO!” Luna ground her teeth together with enough force that for a moment, she feared that they would shatter in her mouth. Luna stomped and raged, but there was nothing she could do. Maeve was fighting back, but she was powerless against her father’s assaults. “Luna… I don’t know if we can stop this,” Twilight said in a soft whisper. Hearing Twilight’s voice, Luna looked at the smaller alicorn with pleading eyes. “Luna, he doesn’t even have a face. Neither does she. Look at them.” Breathing hard, Luna forced herself to look. She made herself look as she choked back her rage. Just as Twilight had said, the male figure had no face, no eyes, no nose, no mouth, yet somehow, Luna could hear him grunting. Maeve was the same, featureless. Furious, Luna let out an equine snarl and snorted, but there was nothing she could do. She could not stop this from happening. And then, much to Luna’s surprise, a magenta bubble surrounded Maeve, causing the male figure be bounced away. Maeve’s father, at least his representation, howled in frustration and then began to beat his fists upon the magenta coloured bubble. “How?” Twilight asked. Shining Armor strode forward. “I can protect anypony or anybody from anything. That’s what I do. I didn’t think about whether or not it would work, but I just assumed that it would. I don’t understand any of this dreaming nonsense. I’ve been lost since we came here.” With a loud pop, a stuffed pony that looked just like Shining Armor materialised in the air in front of his nose and then fell to the floor, bouncing a few times before landing upon the stones. He stared down at it, thinking about what Maeve’s mother had said, that Maeve knew his name, and that by knowing his name, a part of him was forever bound to Maeve. He didn’t mind. He could share a little bit of himself. “You have a job to do,” Shining Armor said to his tiny stuffed doppelganger. He lifted up the toy, examined it, admired its shiny button eyes and blue yarn mane, and then began walking towards Maeve. He ignored the angry, furious brute that was beating his fists and kicking at the shield bubble around Maeve. Shining Armor stepped through his own shield spell and looked down at the girl, who cowered before him, her whole body trembled as she sobbed. She was covered in bruises, scrapes, scratches, and lacerations. She also had a face now… something had changed. Shining Armor, who understood nothing of the dreaming mind or how these things worked, looked down at the girl, feeling pity, feeling an ache in his heart, and he shook his head. “He can’t hurt you anymore,” Shining Armor whispered. “Here, take this.” He held out the stuffed version of himself. “This little version of me will keep the shield up. Trust me when I say that I’m a vigilant protector. He can’t hurt you ever again, just so long as you hold on to me.” Shining Armor gave the stuffed pony a shake with his telekinesis. Maeve, who now had a face, stared at Shining Armor, her lips quivering, her bright green eyes fearful, and she snatched the stuffed pony. She clutched it to her chest, hugging it, and then let out a wordless sound of sorrow. “You’ve been hurt, but it’s over now,” Shining Armor said, almost crooning, as if he was trying to put a foal to bed. He sat down on the stone floor, turned his head, and watched as the faceless male figure continued to thrash against the shield bubble. “I think in time, he’ll go away. But I don’t know for certain.” “Shining Armor, how did you do this?” Cadance asked as she approached. The stallion, sitting beside the hurt little girl, shrugged. As he did so, Maeve threw herself at him, wrapping one arm around his neck, hugging him, and crying into his fuzzy pelt. “Even I don’t understand how this is working,” Luna whispered as she watched Shining Armor return Maeve’s hug. “I don’t get hung up on complicated things. I don’t try to understand the complexities of the universe. I just do whatever feels like the right thing to do,” Shining Armor replied as he wrapped his foreleg around Maeve and gave her a squeeze. “What do we do now?” Cadance looked at the furious male figure, then looked at Luna, who seemed to be recovering, and then looked at Shining Armor, feeling more love for him than ever. “You say goodbye,” a voice answered. “You’ve done what you can for Maeve. What she does now is up to her. The endless hurt has stopped. In time, if Maeve choses, she will move out of this darkness and into the light. In time, her tormentor will fade away, unable to feed upon her hurt. What she does now is up to her.” Luna knew that voice. It was Maeve’s mother. “Can you not go to her?” “No.” The disembodied voice paused. “I cannot. But in time, she may chose to come to me. She is the only one that can lead herself out of that room she has locked herself in. She has to want to come out.” “I cannot leave her in the darkness like this!” Luna shook her head, trying to appeal to the voice, hoping for some different outcome. “When we leave, this place will return to total darkness… and she will be alone.” “The you must coax her into the light. Do so by example. Leave your own darkness behind,” the voice replied. “It is really very simple. Be a good mother. Lead by example. Send your own tormentor away, learn to embrace others, and show her how to be happy.” “But… I… but—” “BUT NOTHING!” The matronly voice bellowed. Luna shook her head, uncertain if she was capable of this. She watched as Maeve hugged Shining Armor some more, and some of her weeping had subsided. Shining Armor’s shield bubble seemed solid enough, and the little piece of Shining Armor that had been left behind would continue to protect Maeve. But Luna could not bear leaving Maeve in the darkness. “Maeve?” Luna’s voice was almost foalish, pleading, and it echoed in the amorphous darkness all around her, outside of of the aura of light she radiated. “What?” the voice replied. “I need that little part of me… please?” Luna begged. Luna blinked when the stuffed version of herself appeared in the air before her. She caught it in her telekinesis and then, after staring at it, she gave it an affectionate nosing. “I have a job for you… hold back the darkness.” The stuffy said nothing, but its horn began to glow. Luna nosed it once again, which caused the toy to glow even brighter, and then extended it out while looking at Shining Armor. “Could you give this to Maeve for me?” Giving Luna a solemn nod, Shining Armor took the toy into his own telekinesis and pulled it through the shield bubble. The Luna stuffy continued to glow and Maeve seemed delighted to have it. “Wait!” Twilight yelled. “I—” Twilight’s words died in her throat as a small stuffed version of herself appeared. Much like Luna, she caught it, smiled, and then passed it to her brother. “I can do no less,” Cadance said. She caught the stuffy version of herself after it manifested and held it aloft. Her mouth opened and it appeared that she was about to say something, but then, Cadance remained silent. The pink toy took on a pink glow and Cadance passed it to her husband. “All four of these are extra special to me.” Shining Armor watched as Maeve hugged all four of the stuffies in her arms. “It pains me that I can’t stay with you, but I have a kingdom to run along with Cadance. A little piece of Cadance and I will be with you though, and we can be a family. If you ever need to get away from Canterlot, come to the Crystal Empire.” “Come out of the darkness, Maeve, we’ll be waiting.” Cadance felt a growing lump in her throat. This wasn’t goodbye, but it sure felt like it. “Maeve… I am a terrible pony… I am selfish. I suffer from extreme jealousy. I can be short tempered. I am quick to anger. I think I just proved that when I came charging in here and did nothing to try and understand what I was getting myself into. But… I could be your mother… if you think I am worthy,” Luna said. The little girl said nothing, but let out a wordless sound of relief as she hugged her stuffed toys. She glanced up at Shining Armor, then turned to look at Luna. After staring at Luna for a moment, she stared at her tormentor, who was still beating and kicking on the shield bubble. Twilight watched as Maeve stared at the faceless entity that had tormented her, wanting to say something, wanting to give words to this meaningful moment, but she had nothing to say. She moved closer to Luna and stood at the blue alicorn’s side, deciding that they could help Maeve together. Luna, feeling sorrowful, decided that it was time. She extended her wing, placing it over Twilight, and then looked into Maeve’s eyes, staring through the magenta shield bubble. Maeve had a protector, a comforter, a source of love, and now, a mother. It was time to go. It was time to say— “Goodbye.”