//------------------------------// // The Sign Of The Four, CHAPTER FOUR: The Whinnyapolis Accent // Story: Sheerluck Hooves // by SkelePone //------------------------------// “Is that true? Are you really him?” “I am afraid I still hold that distinction.” “You are Sherlock Holmes? No, I don’t believe it.” “That is quite all right. I scarcely believe it myself.” ― Mitch Cullin, A Slight Trick of the Mind Fleur Dis Lee had the cabbie drop them off at Time Turner’s Ponyville house before going along on her own back to her small mansion in Canterlot. First Aid had hitchhiked through back to the now-abandoned shack that had formerly belonged to Short Stop. TIme Turner and the Doctor simply returned the Time Turner’s home. When they had finally gotten home early in the morning, Dinky squealed in delight and hugged her second cousin and her father before joining her mother at the breakfast table. Sheerluck and TIme Turner completely forgot the events of the previous night and indulged themselves on french toast and fresh cinnamon muffins baked by Derpy herself. After breakfast, however, Time Turner turned faint and nearly burst into tears. He had witnessed the deaths of two ponies of such high importance to the case and to the ponies they employ… It was difficult to cope with. And Short Stop had begun to even seem friendly before he was murdered directly in front of Time Turner. They decided to go to bed and sleep throughout the morning, and get back to the case as soon as they reawoke. It was nearly two o'clock when finally woke again. Sheerluck and Time Turner had replaced their garments, for the weather outside was chilling as the time for winter grew near. Immediately, the Doctor recounted the gruesome event of that night. And the more he thought of what had happened, the wilder and darker it grew. He then decided that although Fleur Dis Lee was not the most trustworthy of ponies, she was not a threat to them in any way. So that problem was thankfully resolved. Then there was the original problem… That at least was clear now. To a degree. The sending of the pearls, the advertisement, the letter, the symbol, The Four. They had only led us, however, to a deeper and far more tragic mystery. Short Stop’s death, the tying of Mortuary’s activities with that of, the remarkable methods of assassination, the words upon the paper, here was indeed a labyrinth. “So I was thinking, Doctor.” Sheerluck said over their tea. Time Turner looked up from reading Short Stop’s obituary (the newsponies were awfully fast) to regard his friend and relative. “About?” “Mortuary hires Changelings. Or at least we hypothesize so.” “Yes.” “So why not hire somepony… Or something as well?” “Haven’t… we been hired, though, Sheerluck?” “Well… Yes. But we need non-pony expertise here.” “Who do we hire then? A dragon? I doubt Spike would want to help you after the little episode the two of you had at Twilight’s castle.” “No. I was thinking more of a Diamond Dog.” Time Turner spat out his tea, spraying it across the table. He looked to Sheerluck as though he had suggested they shove cacti up their rectums. “A Diamond Dog? Why in Equestria would you want to hire one of those things?” “Well one, they are cheap. Two, they have an excellent sense of smell. Three, they will be able to better identify the pearls that Fleur had been sent. You see? It’s perfectly logical to hire a Diamond Dog to help us.” Sheerluck said, waving a dismissive hoof at Time Turner. “I have a Diamond Dog in mind already anyways. His name is Red - he used to hunt Tatzelwurms with your friend Porter.” “Porter hunted Tatzelwurms?” “Yes,” answered Sheerluck impatiently, “but that is beside the point. Red is an excellent tracker who will be able to track the scent of the assassin who has killed two of The Four. And then we either apprehend the assassin or follow him to his employer. Namely, Professor Mortuary.” “Brilliant!” cried Time Turner. “Elementary,” corrected Sheerluck Hooves. But he did have a smug smirk across his face as he met Time Turner’s eyes. “So have we or have we not determined Short Stop’s place in all this? And why he had to die?” "A simplicity in itself. Short Stop is easily one of the more powerful members of The Four, besides Zodia. And Short Stop also have a sort of alliance with the ze-pony. You remember that Short Stop also had a great distrust for this ‘Brother Breach’. He was the second cross in the sign of the four. And you surely recall that the Mafia leader sat upon a small fortune? The answer is obvious. Brother Breach was encouraged to have Short Stop assassinated by none other than the mad Professor. Without Short Stop, Mortuary’s rise to power will be that much easier." "So we definitely know that Mortuary is behind this?," asked Time Turner. "Well… It’s a theory. But a very sound theory. Do you recall Short Stop’s letter and his short and stopped speech at his residence?" "The one where he talked on and on about revenge?" "Indeed. Revenge is a concept that Mortuary cherishes. It is a concept that Mortuary tends to use in order to gain influence over others, by offering vengeance. Now, you recall that the assassin was a Changeling? And who do we know has direct control over the Changelings?” “Mortuary.” “Exactly! My dear Doctor, I have a hypothesis to explain Mortuary’s behavior.” “And that is?” “He obviously fancies himself taking over The Four. But of course, ruling one side of The Four would not be enough, he is a greedy stallion. He has to have all Four. Therefore we may say with confidence that the true reason why he is helping Brother Breach clear house is for he himself to then kill Breach and Sir Dis Lee and take control of the Gang, the Mafia, the Cult, AND the Brotherhood. Does the reasoning strike you as being faulty?" "No." "Well, now, let us put ourselves in the place of Short Stop. Let us look at it from his point of view. He is happily running the Mafie, a sort of half-good and half-evil corporation of Canterlot. Suddenly, Brother Breach, his well-known rival suddenly has a new advisor. Mortuary is a sneaky looking one, and Short Stop implores Madame Fortun de Zodia to take action against him. However, just as Short Stop was going to Zodia, Breach coltnaps Dis Lee in an attempt to scare off the Mafia leader. But Short Stop simply contacts Dis Lee’s daughter. This makes it seem to them that the Dizzly Gang will simply go under new leadership.” “But then why did Short Stop have to die? Why not Fleur?” “Because Short Stop could teach her how to control the Gang. Without Short Stop, the Gang would fall apart. But the one oversight that Brother Breach made was that Short Stop was not training her in leadership, but was informing her on her father’s abduction and getting us to find a way to save him.” “Can we save him?” Time Turner asked, his head swirling with all this information. “I’m not sure. Well, I’m 80% sure that he is still alive. So it just depends on our ability. Now, let’s go get that Diamond Dog.” It was the second time they had visited Appleloosa within the week. Fleur Dis Lee had (much to Time Turner’s relief) elected to sit out this adventure. She claimed to have suffered mentally and spiritually during their terrible activities the night before. So together, Time Turner and Sheerluck sought out the Diamond Dog alone. The markets of Appleloosa were as busy as ever, teeming with ponies and creatures from all walks of life attempting to sell their wares and find products that they could barter or bargain for. They waited in long lines and suffered against the sheer stupidity and stubbornness of many ponies. Finally, they reached the empty Tatzelwurm stand. "What now?" Time Turner asked, "It looks like nopony’s home. " "Never fear, my dear Doctor," reassured Sheerluck, leading him back in to wait in the kiosk, "They are quite possibly just out hunting. Tatzelwurm season is almost over, if I recall correctly." "So do we simply wait here for Red to return?" "Yes. And, unfortunately, we may be waiting for some time. The Dog is well known for his ability to track and capture, but he is not known for his punctuality." There was no difficulty about waiting. Although Time Turner did admit to himself that the climate of Appleloosa was a tad bit hotter and drier than what he preferred. "So what is Red is a no-show, Sheerluck?” Time Turner asked, wiping some more sweat from his brow. He really shouldn't have worn a tie today. "I had thought of that. But you notice that ponies keep on poking their heads in looking for him, that would imply he is due to return. He is simply running very, very late." It was noon when Red finally arrived. “Hallo, uny-corn. Du are ze pony zat Porter has tolds me about?” Red raised a filthy paw for Sheerluck to shake, which he did without batting an eye. In Red’s other arm was a large slab of bloody Tatzel steak which smelled to Time Turner like it had been sitting outside for quite some time. Which, TIme Turner realized, it probably had. With the Dog came a silent and somber Griffon female with beautiful blue-tinted golden plumage. “Yes. I am Sheerluck Hooves and this is my associate, Doctor Time Turner.” Red, the tall, slender, and rather weaselly-looking Diamond Dog bore his yellow eyes into the Doctor’s blue ones. After many awkward moments, the Dog began to discuss prices for his services with Sheerluck. Time Turner decided to speak with the griffon. "Hello, I’m the Doctor. May I know your name?" "Uhhh… m’name’s… Gael?" "Is that a question to my question?" asked Time Turner with a grin as he mimicked what Sheerluck had asked him such a long time ago. "Um. No. Gael. It’s my name. And what’s your real name, eh?" asked the Griffon in a strangely Whinnyapolis-esque accent. Time Turner blinked in surprise and then caught himself from making the moment awkward; without missing a beat. “My name is Time Turner. Member of the Hooves family, if that helps you any. So tell me, this Tatzelwurm business. How do you like it?” “Uhhhh… I dunno whatcha talkin’ aboot.” “Aboot?” “I mean, ab-out.” “Huh. Are you from Whinnyapolis?” Red answered for her, giving Gael a raised eyebrow. “No. She’s from Griffonstone. She doesn’y have an accent.” Now Sheerluck was raising his eyebrow as well. Time Turner saw a small trickle of sweat run down the griffon’s face as she grinned sheepishly. “But of course!” Sheerluck suddenly shouted, causing everypony, doggie, and griff in the Tatzelwurm tent to jump in fear. “That isn’t Gael. TIme Turner! Red!” “Yes, Sheerluck?” “Aye, Hooves?” “Tie her up. We’ve found our Changeling assassin.”