//------------------------------// // Rick-ity Split // Story: The Unacceptable, Portable, Aeiou, MLG, Court of Rights, and Motivational Adventures of Rick and Morty [Pony Swim] // by Ink_Quill //------------------------------// "Damn it, Morty, pass me a-" Rick paused, looking around. "Nevermind.." Rick was alone, in the Everfree forest. He was trying to fix the portal gun. "Ah, you know what, screw it." Rick took out a cube and pressed the button. A blue thing that looks like an odd bald, sky blue human, with odd teeth and a voice that sounds like he never hit puberty. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "G-go find me some drinks, or I'll kill you." "Caaaaaan do!" Mr. Meeseeks ran off. Rick pressed the button again, but not just once... let's say, he spammed the button. "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" "Mr. Meeseeks', build me a mini safehouse." "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, DOOOOOOOOO!" In no time, they built a shelter made of wood, and they all spontaneously combusted into light blue particles. They were meant to do that after their task is accomplished. Mr. Meeseeks then came back with a stupid tasting drink, which to Rick's guess he could not find alcohol, so he faked a thanks and the last Mr. Meeseeks vanished. --------2 days later------ Rick was traveling once more, when he remembered something. He took out his portable compact hover jet, and he piloted it to Ponyville. Rick was above Ponyville, when his fuel ran out. He was hurtling towards a school. He used the eject option and was then flying through the air, with an unopened parachute attached to him. He was about to make contact with the ground, when he used the jet pack. Rick pressed one of his many hidden buttons and made the jet dissappear into thin air before impact, as well as the parachute. He saw two ponies bullying three other ponies. "You already have your cutie marks." Said the royal looking one. "Wait, what?" Said the confused country one. "Yep." "No we don't." The orange one checked her booty. "Yes you do. Your cutie marks look invisible, but they're actually blank cutie marks." She and the grey, old looking one snickered, before the grey one said , "I don't get it." Rick felt like he should go teach those jackasses a lesson. The candy one looked up at the freaky man. ""Who are you?" Said the filly in a sweet voice, unlike the other two (assholes). "More like, what are you?" The two idiots snickered at their horrible "joke". "T-that joke gave me *belch* cancer." Said Rick, before pulling out his freeze ray and freezing the two bullies. Of course, the other three were frightened, and ran off. "Sheesh, no thanks?" Rick tucked his freeze ray back into his lab coat pocket and walked away, taking out his flask , and remembered it was empty. He sweared so loud the fillies, who were now in school session, recess just finished, could hear him. A vivid rose coloured, more older pony peeked through the window, before bringing down the curtain. -------- "Okay class, today, we're going to have to reschedule our subject to tomorrow, and learn about a new subject, called, Dangerous Creatures and How to Identify Them. That out there, I never heard of, but let's call it Spikius Maed Alco, since it has a spiked mane and is clearly mad.. and seems to really love whatever is in that flask (as if I didn't know).." Cheerilee paused, looking around the room, counting the desks. "Wait, where is Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon? Did they not come in?" Cheerilee slowly opened the door and peeked. The creature was gone, and there, stood two frozen fillies, also called, according to Rick, the "Fuckface Friends", "Fuck Friends", "Lesbian Llamas", and "Granny and Spice". "Girls!!" Cheerilee gasped, before running to the two. ----------- Morty was inside a jacuzzi, or what seemed to be one, with Rarity. "So, Rarity, um.. d-do you actually like me?" Rarity was looking away. She turned her hear to Morty, and let out a "Hmm?" "N-n-nothing." Morty stepped out of the jacuzzi and grabbed a towel. He dried off, put some clothes on, and was about to go the kitchen for some food, when he heard a knocking on the door. Morty opened the door. "Morty y-y-you stupid bitch, we're stuck in this dimension and you try to f-f-*belch*fuck the people!?" "R-rick! Can't you see I'm actually having fun for once!?" Suddenly, a loud screech from outside was hear, and all the residents of Ponyville were fleeing. Rick turned around. "W-what the *belch* hell?" Rick looked around. He saw a weird structure caught ablaze. Rarity came running down the stairs. "Oh my, what has happened!?" When Rarity saw the fire, she knew what it was. She galloped to Twilight's Castle, to see if anypony was still there. "W-wait! Honeyyyyy!" Rick glared at Morty. "You're r-really damn *belch* sad, Morty."