//------------------------------// // Chapter XIV: Porter & Rose's Hoofmade Fermented Rosehip Soda // Story: Four Ponies & A Time Machine // by SkelePone //------------------------------// “The future is uncertain but the end is always near.” ― Jim Morrison * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Carnegie Porter woke up. It was as simple as that. He just opened his eyes and boom. He was awake. For one terrifying moment, the stallion's heart had stopped. He hadn't been breathing. Starswirl and Roseluck were pounding at his chest, the wizard shooting spell after spell into Carnegie's body, which was getting colder by the second. Then, without any true explanation, Carnegie Porter let out a gasp of pain. And he woke up. Almost literally rose from the dead. Before he knew it, Roseluck was kissing him. Carnegie tried to tell her about his dream, but he gave up, and let her fuss over him. He could always tell her later. Starswirl the Bearded was at his side, completely flabbergasted. "But... YOU WERE DEAD! None of my spells would resuscitate you! Then you just woke up like you were only taking a nap! You DIED, son! Of alcohol poisoning!" "Crickey," Porter whispered, his throat dry, "where's a bloody drink when a stallion needs it? Somepony grab me a bottle o' gin. Me throat's itchin' something crazy." Both the ponies gaped at him. Rose was first to speak: "Carnegie, love... you nearly died drinking a giant vat of alcohol. And... you want to drink some more." "Well love," Carnegie answered, in a hoarse rasp, "M'name's not Porter for nothin'." Just then, Derpy and the Doctor walked in, a faint redness to their cheeks as they walked in giggling to each other like little schoolfillies. They both gasped when they saw Porter, now awake and up and about. Fortunately, Time Turner carried a bottle of rum, which Carnegie snatched from his hoof. "Carnegie! You're okay!" Derpy squealed. "It's good to see you alive, Porter." Time Turner said with a cheery grin, putting a hoof around Derpy's shoulder. Her wings -pomf-ed up and she turned a bit more pink. Carnegie finished chugging the bottle of rum, tossing it over his shoulder. Behind him, Starswirl irritably levitated the glass shards into a waste bin. Porter took a moment to carefully study the couple's faces. "You two had sex didn't you?" "Porter!" Rose gasped behind him. "Sorry, love. I meant the skiddily boop." Derpy and the Doctor chuckled nervously, and shuffled their hooves as they desperately tried to not look at Porter or each other in the eye. "Ahhh... I see now. You fellas decided that while I was takin' a trip to la la loopy land, you go an' have a grand ol' time skiddily booping away. Fair 'nough." The two didn't say anything to deny it, and Carnegie let out a barking laugh. "I knew ya two would hook up. Figured it was only a matter o' time 'fore ya went at each other like rabbits." Then the worse thing Carnegie could imagine happened. A filly crawled in. She looked up at them with wide eyes, her dark blue coat shining. She was an Alicorn. And based on her crown, she was a Princess. It was the young Luna. She looked directly at Starswirl and asked: "Starswirl, what's the 'skiddily boop?'" Time Turner was heartily embarrassed. Well, embarrassed was a mild way of putting it. He felt more like being decapitated while scalding hot irons burned his flanks than to be babbling incoherently before a cackling drunk, a sobby Rose, a keen wizard, his marefriend, and especially the little Princess Luna. Starswirl was arching a Porter-style bushy eyebrow at him. He had to answer. "I-It's... um... Princess..." "It's when a stallion bucks the bloody brains outta a mare." Everypony turned to Carnegie Porter. Time Turner was shocked. "What? She wanted ta know. An' I'm not one ta sugarcoat things unless they're over eighty proof and in a fancy bottle." Starswirl facehoofed. Roseluck rolled her eyes but smiled slightly. Princess Luna giggled, not quite understanding Carnegie's blunt definition. Fortunately for Time Turner, she didn't pursue the topic, and simply ran from the room, laughing. They all breathed a sigh of relief before Porter resumed his rounding. "So you two wen' an' 'ad a good ol' time while, from what Starsparkle-" "Starswirl." "Whatever, beardy. From what Starswirl says, I was dyin' down 'ere." "Yeah," Time Turner argued, "but that was your own doing!" "I was gettin' us inside! We woulda been arrested fer tryna get inta the castle!" "But you didn't have to drink a giant vat of alcohol!" "I thought I could!" Roseluck, Derpy, and Starswirl watched as the two stallions yelled at each other. They decided to let the two burn off some steam, and they left the room. Starswirl suggested they pay Celestia a visit. She had been so stressed and busy lately, still only a very young mare by Alicorn standards. The old wizard told them that she would appreciate the visit. As they made their way to the throne room, the mares talked about the stallions, Starswirl being careful not to overhear any gritty details. "So you and Time Turner got to second base, huh?" "Yeah... you're not mad... are you?" "Of course not! I'm happy for you! The two of you deserve each other." "But we did it while... while Porter was dying. We didn't know!" "Derpy, it's fine. Honestly. Porter's alive and well. You don't have to keep worrying about that." "He's not taking it very well..." "Who? Porter? I'm sure Carns and the Doctor just have a few things to discuss." "Well... if you say so." They had just finished their conversation when Starswirl thrust open the doors to the throne room. There was a very large round table, with many chairs scooted in around it. Alone, looking exhausted and very stressed, was Celestia. She was taller. Not quite the tall, slender ruler they knew in the future, but she was getting there. Her mane was still pink, but it sparkled and billowed in an unseen wind. She looked up, and smiled broadly at Starswirl. "Hello, Starswirl. I was just about to get up and leave. Who is..." The Princess trailed off as her face glowed with recognition. "Rose...? Derpy...? How... but..." "You didn't believe us when we said we were time travelers?" "Well... no, but that was because it was so ridiculous. Nopony believed us when we tried telling others..." "But Princess," Starswirl the Bearded interjected, "that doesn't matter. What matters is that we helped them. And now they experience one hundred years as but a day. Soon they will return to their time. And doesn't that fill you with some degree of hope? There is a future, and they come from it. We can win this war, Celestia. Just believe in our strange little friends here." Roseluck and Derpy beamed warmly at the Princess. "I wish they could help... We'll be needing..." Time Turner stood across from Carnegie Porter. They were both panting heavily. The two stallions had gone a full half an hour just yelling at each other. They continued to shoot glares and dirty looks to and fro, but both had exhausted themselves. Carnegie had obtained a new bottle of beer during their bickering. He sipped it casually. "Why don't you ever stop drinking?" Time Turner sneered, his voice hoarse. "Why dontcha shove it?" "It was a simple question." "I'm drinkin' 'cause I saw somethin' when I was out cold. Somethin' good... but then somethin' bad... like a... like a vision!" "A vision." "Yeah! An' it was 'orrible. Bloody awful. Wretched. Disgustin'-" "I get it. Drama queen." Carbegie finished his beer, and studied the bottle in his hoof. He suddenly had a very depressed look on his face, which shocked the anger out of Time Turner. He watched as the drunk fell with a thud onto his haunches, sitting pitifully. Time Turner walked over and sat carefully beside him. "Well. What was it that you saw, Porter?" Porter was quiet for several minutes. "I 'ad a future. A wife. Foals. A 'ouse. My brewery was doin' amazin'." "That doesn't sound so bad." "Wait, lemme finish. Then it vanished. Burned away. Somepony else came, saved me, told me it was that Sombra bloke." "Who was it? That saved you?" "I dunno. All I remember is a lil' T-shape with a loop on topa it." "An... an ankh?" "Yeah." "And this pony told you it was Sombra who attacked you in your... vision?" "Aye." Carnegie Porter looked up as Time Turner stood, looking towards the door. "What is it, Doc?" "Let's get the girls. We're ready for the next century leap." Roseluck, Porter, and Derpy had strapped into the time machine and were patiently waiting for Time Turner, who was outside talking to the Princess and the Royal Wizard. "Do you have to leave so soon? You would be of great help to the war effort..." "I'm sorry Princess. But we will return in one hundred years. Count on it. And Starswirl, keep a lookout for when we get back." "Oh I dunno if I'll be alive for that long, Doctor." "Don't worry about that. When you finally pass, you will have been the oldest pony in history. Just keep a lookout." "Will do." "And Princess." The Princess looked eager for a moment. Time Turner knew that she was hoping they'd stay for a bit more, to help. "When we return, we will have a way to defeat Sombra." Celestia looked disappointed for a minute. Time Turner couldn't help but to feel sorry for her. He turned away, and clambered into the TROTIS. With a final wave, he sealed the chamber door and trotted over to the dashboard. "Where to next, Doc?" "The End of The War, Porter. The End of The War." And he slammed a hoof down on the activation button.