Wily's Wittle Wub

by Tatsurou


The Greatest Show on Earth part 1

Stealing the Robot Masters had gone off without a hitch for Dr. Wily, and he and Vinyl were now situated in his Skull Fortress to await the newly dubbed Mega Man's attempt at overthrowing him. "How are you doing, Vinyl?" Wily asked courteously, wanting to be sure the little filly wasn't uncomfortable. The fortress was a little chilly.

"Hoasty!" Vinyl replied happily, waving her forelegs as she wriggled around in the light sweater Protoman had gotten her just in case she got chilled. Shortly after the theft, Wily had discovered that two of Vinyl's baby teeth had come in, one each of her upper and lower front teeth. It was just enough to occasionally make a 't' sound, though not always.

Wily chuckled at how adorable Vinyl was, idly turning over ideas of how to weaponize that. "So...what shall we do while we wait for Mega Man to beat the Robot Masters?" he asked. He had no illusions that the Robot Masters would win. They weren't designed strictly for combat, unlike Mega Man's retrofit.

Vinyl scratched the back of her head. "Watsh?" she suggested.

Wily frowned as he worked his way through that. "Oh, you want to watch him struggle?" he asked.

Vinyl nodded eagerly.

Wily chuckled. "Alright. I've got cameras in place for just that." Turning, he activated the view screens, Vinyl climbing to the top of his head - her favorite perch - to watch. Internally, Wily wondered what would happen when she started to grow bigger.

On screen, Wily is rather unsurprised to see Mega Man make his way past most of the obstacles. As they're just the lesser robots in the area under Cut Man's command, it was to be expected Mega Man would be redesigned well enough to clear past all of it. Even the minimal demolition work to make that section of the city harder to get through was easy for Mega Man. "Hmm...I'll have to work harder on my future Robot Masters," Wily muttered. "It'll be the only real challenge Mega Man faces..."

Before long, Mega Man reached Cut Man, and Wily decided to stop talking so they could watch the fight.


As Mega Man entered the room Cut Man had been controlling all the robots from, he glanced around. "Alright, Cut Man!" he called out. "I know you're in here! Show yourself!"

Cut Man leapt down into the room, striking a dramatic pose. "You have come too soon," he hissed. "You should have targeted me third."

Mega Man rolled his eyes. "What is it with you and the number three?" he demanded, priming his Mega Buster.

"Behold the power of three!" Cut Man shouted as he began hurling his Cut Blades at Mega Man.

Mega Man dodged each of them rather easily, firing away with his Buster, slowly whittling away at Cut Man's energy as he did more and more damage. "Cut Man, you aren't a combat robot," he explained quietly. "I've been redesigned into one. Face it. You can't win."

To Mega Man's surprise, Cut Man froze, and his eyes flashed.


An alert appeared on Wily's console. "DLN-003, Freak Mode activated."

"Freak Mode?" Wily asked curiously. Vinyl, however, clapped her hooves eagerly. Wily's eyes widened as he realized this must be the new protocols created by Vinyl's random key tapping. ...he began to wonder just how 'random' it had been.


"You will respect my power!" Cut Man shouted, lunging forward to punch Mega Man right in the face.

Mega Man staggered back, caught completely off guard by the sudden rage Cut Man was demonstrating, as well as the power of the punch.

"I am the number three!" Cut Man proclaimed, yanking the blade off his head and driving it into Mega Man's leg, punching through the armor and damaging the circuitry. "I am the unstoppable force! I am invincible!" The blade then drove into Mega Man's other leg. "You will not make a mockery of me!" The blade went into one of Mega Man's arms. "Of me!" Cut Man drew the blade back, this time aiming for Mega Man's face.

Desperately, Mega Man looked around for a weapon. Seeing a discarded Cut Blade, he grabbed it, energized it with what Buster energy he had left, and threw it. The blade sheared through Cut Man's neck, sending his head rolling as his body collapsed.

"Well..." Cut Man's head said morosely, "...that was embarrassing."

Mega Man collapsed. "Dr. Light..." he called out. "Cut Man has been neutralized...and I need emergency evac."

"Affirmative, Mega Man," Dr. Light replied. "I've contacted the authorities. They've confirmed Cut Man's shut down. Now that there's no chance of him teleporting out to escape, they're reactivating the teleportation grid in that area(1). You can teleport out...now."

Mega Man was immediately beamed out for repairs, while Cut Man's head and body were beamed out for recovery.


Wily stared in shock. "DId...did Cut Man nearly just beat Mega Man...because of 'Freak Mode'?"

Vinyl clapped her hooves, plainly having enjoyed the show.

Frowning, Wily called Elec Man - the only Robot Master who could teleport without the grid - back to the Skull Fortress so he could try to analyze 'Freak Mode'. Vinyl, meanwhile, sat patiently as she waited for the next show to begin.

The next Robot Master Mega Man went up against after repairs was Guts Man. Apparently, he'd decided to go in number order, perhaps thinking that the later models would have more advanced combat programming, and it was easier to work his way up.

The construction site robots gave Mega Man a bit more difficulty than before, but he otherwise faced no challenge as he approached Guts Man.


Mega Man entered the final chamber a bit more carefully this time. "...Guts Man?" he called out.

Guts Man leapt out, shaking the ground as he landed. "I am Guts Man," he stated. "I lift things up and put them down."

Mega Man stared at him. "...of course you do."

"I am Guts Man," Guts Man proclaimed as he jumped, shaking the ground as he caught a large boulder that dropped from the ceiling. "I lift things up and put them down." He threw the boulder at Mega Man.

Mega Man dodged as the boulder shattered, beginning to shoot at Guts Man. "Not much for conversation, are you?"

"I am Guts Man," Guts Man repeated as he continued his attack pattern. "I lift things up and-"

"Can't you say anything else?" Mega Man demanded angrily.

Guts Man leapt to right in front of Mega Man, grabbing him around the neck and shoulders with one hand. He then lifted him into the air. "...you have a dorky helmet," Guts Man pointed out.

Mega Man stared. "...what?"

"I am Guts Man," Guts Man explained. "I lift things up...and put them down."

Mega Man stared at him. "Did...did you really act like a total idiot up to this point...just for that joke?"


Wily raised an eyebrow as he got the alert that 'Freak Mode' had activated for Guts Man, rushing to see what would happen.


Clutching Mega Man tight, Guts Man leapt from his base of operations to another part of the construction site, clinging to a rock wall. He then proceeded to use Mega Man's head like a chisel, smashing a message into the side of the cliff in holes as he raced back and forth like a printer. He then leapt back. "I am Guts Man," he said, pointing Mega Man's dazed face towards the cliff. "I lift things up and put them down."

From a distance, a message was visible on the rock face. "Mega Man wears his underpants on the outside."

Growling, Mega Man stuffed his charged Mega Buster into Guts Man's mouth. "Eat this!" he shouted, releasing the blast.

Guts Man stared down at Mega Man, smoke pouring out his mouth and ears. "Needs more paprika," he stated blandly.

Mega Man stared. "You...you're kidding me..."

Guts Man then fell over on top of Mega Man, crushing him beneath his bulk as the Robot Master shut down.

"Doctor..." Mega Man groaned. "Evac..."


Wily couldn't help but laugh as Vinyl clapped her hooves in joy.



(1) My headcanon explanation for why Mega Man can't teleport straight to the boss room, but can teleport straight out after the boss is defeated.