//------------------------------// // Chapter 17: Hurt // Story: Newborn Mare // by nanashi_jones //------------------------------// “Oh... come on!” Discord panted. “You... were shot… in the head! You… should’ve been… laid up... for weeks... at minimum. I made sure of it! Ultimate... chaos... chess player here!” He fumed, kicking dust and dirt, lamely flailing his arms about, and generally pitching a fit on par with a five year old. “What’re you doing here, sugarcube?” I hissed at Twilight. Now that the immediate danger had passed, I saw she was still in her hospital gown. Her IV bag of painkillers was duct taped to her side. I had really hoped she was joking, when she mentioned that idea earlier. She grinned at me, slightly maniacally. “Sorry, RJ. I couldn’t… just sit by… and do nothing.” I shook my head. “And y’all call me hard-headed. How do you feel?” “Like... I just cast two major spells while being doped to the gills,” she said. “Don’t ask me to walk; I really can’t right now.” “We’ll hold you up,” Dash said, leaning against her. “And what was that anyway!” Discord ranted on, pointing at us. “That- that magic thing you did. That you all did. How did you do that?” “Power of friendship,” Raritony said, sticking her tongue out. “Oh, that’s it. You’re all topiary!” Discord said, stretching both arms out, ready to snap at us. “CANNONBALL!!!” Discord whirled around. For his trouble, he got a face full of Pinkie. The impact slammed him into the surface of the roof, and left him partially buried in a crater. Pinkie hopped over the rim, and slid over to us. “Wee-ee-eeee-heee!” she giggled. “Whoo, that was fun. Naptime now!” She collapsed on the spot, cuddling a convenient exhaust vent. “Still?!” I groaned. Twilight shook her head. “I think she’s narcoleptic,” she said. “It’s got to be better than how I feel, though. Ugh. I think I’m gonna throw up…” “I think she killed Discord,” Stephanie said, carefully peering at Discord’s head at the bottom of the crater. “Keep back everypony,” I said. “He might still be dangerous.” “Oh please,” Discord drawled from behind us. Spinning, we saw him standing a few dozen feet away, perfectly fine. He was decked out in painfully neon-colored golf clothes, teeing off from the other side of the building. “That’s like saying, ‘Remember the Alamo’ or ‘the monster’s finally dead,’” he said, urbanely. “It doesn’t do anyone any good.” He hit the ball, but it had transformed into a cream puff, which splatted on his polka-dot and argyle socks. “Drat.” Stephanie trained her gun on the golf playing Discord. Looking back over my shoulder, I could see Pinkie-landing-pad Discord was still embedded in the concrete, motionless. “What’s that, Rachel? ‘How did I do this?’” he said, raising a hand to his ear. “I’m so glad you asked. I’m just little ol’ me, five minutes from now.” He whacked another ball into the city. This one actually stayed a golf ball. “From after I won. So, I’m enjoying my retirement from pony battles.” He grinned as his ball dropped onto a skyscraper. “Ooo-hoo-hoooo! Birdied that. Nice.” We all moved into a protective circle around Twilight and Pinkie. “Got any more fuel in the tank, Twi?” I whispered. “Buy me a minute,” she whispered back. “I think… I think I can hit him again.” “Oh, I doubt that,” Discord said, sitting on his golf club as it hovered in midair, and snapping a laptop into existence. He typed along, barely paying attention to us. “See, like I said, I’m me five minutes from now. I won. You didn’t. And do you know why?” We closed ranks. Keep him talking. Get Twilight some time, I thought. “Enlighten us,” I said, glaring at Discord. “We know how much you like to talk about how smart you are.” He preened a bit. “It’s not bragging if it’s true, Rachel. Besides, I realized I was coming at you all wrong. I mean, sure, mind-warping, brainwashing, physical transformations- it’s all very entertaining. But it all had a bit of a flaw. Anyone? Anyone in our studio audience know what it is?” I stared down at the gameshow podium I was suddenly seated behind, while Discord waggled his eyebrows, and his bowtie, at me. Pinkie dozed, head down, on the podium next to me. “No one?” Discord drawled. A loud buzzer went off. Discord sighed and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. Time’s up, but here’s a lovely parting gift of all the tuna you could ever eat.” He pulled a tasseled cord hanging beside his head. A small mountain of tuna cans dropped on me from above. They clattered around me, and I was almost instantly buried. It smelled like a few of them had busted open. “RJ!” Dash and Stephanie cried out. “Stop it Discord!” Twilight shouted. “Just… stop!” “But I’ve only just begun, David!” Discord squealed. From the fishy darkness, Dash’s face appeared, as Stephanie pushed cans aside. “Jeez, you okay, RJ?” Dash asked, offering her hoof. “I hate tuna forever,” I said, taking it, and shimmying out from beneath the cans. “See, I always tried to attack you from the outside, because well. It’s outside. I’m outside. It’s just easier to hit!” He shrugged. “Besides, friendships break from the outside all the time! You stop calling, you don’t hang out, soon you’re just awkwardly trying to pretend you’re not at the same bar mitzvah- I just ushered things along!” He snapped, holding up a poster portraying the six of us: grayed out, miserable, avoiding looking at one another. The tagline read: My Little Ponies: Friendship is a Hassle. He whisked the poster through the air, tying it around himself like a cape. “But you’re all soooooo… devoted.” He spat the word. “Pesky power of friendship protecting your outsides. Booo.” He thumbs downed us. “So, my only option was to find a place where your friendship left you open. A spot where I could get… inside.” He grinned. “Where would friendship possibly leave us open?” Raritony said, haughtily. “Hmmm. Another pop quiz for all of you.” He produced Trivial Pursuit, My Little Pony edition, and slid out a card. Scanning it, he giggled, then read: “What happens when you little ponies are all so annoyingly emotional and can’t think of any better way to express yourselves?” He looked at us expectantly, eyes dancing in delight. Twilight perked up, smiling. “Oh! We sing!” “Yes. In harmony,” Discord said. He reached for the laptop he’d been playing with before, and hit a key. Noise screamed through the sky, and into my head. I fell to my knees in shock. My heart thundered as something pushed its way into my skull. It felt like my whole head was going to explode! Eyes clamped shut, I howled in pain. Then, the noise sharpened, gaining definition and power. It picked up a relentless rhythm that forced my heartbeat to match it. The treble drowned out any other sounds; it drowned out even my own thoughts. Discord’s music encompassed my whole reality. And it hurt. The roof, Discord, my friends, everything vanished. All I could feel was this new music, forcing its way inside me. Becoming all there was of me. Blinking, I shook cobwebs from my vision. Literal cobwebs across my eyes. I rubbed at my face, clearing them away. Gross. Where am I? I thought, blinking through the grime. I tasted dirt. Dirt in my mouth, grinding in my teeth. And when I could finally see, all I saw was a desert. I blinked, hard, and shook my head, again. This couldn’t be right. I was… Well, I was sure I hadn’t been in a desert a moment ago. I thought, but I couldn’t remember. It was... hard to focus. The wind seemed to be gusting in a regular rhythm, and it was throwing me off. I had been doing something important. Something… Then, like a relic out of a post-apocalyptic landscape, I recognized Sweet Apple Acres, fallen to ruin. “No…” I gasped. Nothing but dust. Acres and acres of it. As far as I could see. I took a wavering step forward and nearly fell over something solid. “What…” I looked down. Big McIntosh lay at my hooves. “Big Mac…” I whispered, nudging him, gently. He didn’t move. Not even the slightest bit. “No… No!” I backed away, skidding in the loose grit. I bumped into something. It rebounded and bumped back into me. Turning, I found myself face to face with Granny. She was draped bonelessly over the fence. Her skin leathery and stiff. “NO!” I ran, forward, kicking up more dirt. I raced for home. The Apple home. But when I got close, I could see it was as wrecked as the rest of the farm. The windows were busted out, the paint peeling, and it looked a breath away from falling in on itself. Dust and dirt coated everything. My parents- my human parents lay in rocking chairs on the porch. “Mom! Dad!” I shouted, rushing to them. They fell over at my touch- limp as rag dolls. I reeled back, heart in my throat. “No…” Eyes wide, I caught a flash of pink ribbon through the window. I immediately raced inside,  to the only beacon of hope in this dirt-covered landscape. “Bloom- Apple Bloom!” I yelled, coughing as my footsteps raised clouds of dust. I slammed the door inward. It fell off its hinges. I found Bloom, laying in the middle of a circle made up of the bodies of my friends. Nopony moved. The silence that should have been full of breathing only contained the rhythmic pushing of the wind. “Girls… Apple Bloom…” I stepped into the circle. I picked up her body and cradled it against me. “Apple Bloom… no…” I whispered, stroking her mane. “I was… I was supposed to... keep you safe… I’m- I’m so sorry.” I kissed her forehead, and lay her back down. What happened? I thought, staring around the house. Pictures hung at odd angles, glass cracked in the frames. Others were lying on the floor where they had fallen. Where’s... The place I was. The place… New York? Yeah, that’s it! I clung to the thought. It was just a bit, but it helped ground me a little. I was in New York! I thought. But… how’d I get here? Wiping the tears from my face, I stumbled outside. I had to find…. I didn’t know. There seemed nothing left worth finding. But there had to be something other than this damn dirt! I ran for the gate, nearly tripping over a sign. Hopping back a few steps, I saw the Sweet Apple Acres sign lying at my hooves. Someone had scratched the name out and graffitied over it. I brushed some of the blasted dirt away and found in scrawled handwriting: “No Hope.” My throat felt tight. I couldn’t blink enough. I looked out the gate, at the rest of Equestria. And it was all dirt. “We... lost?” I whimpered. “No. No we… we couldn’t have...” “You did,” Discord said. He plucked my hat from my head, and placed it atop his. “This is where you live now, Rachel. Your empty world of dirt. Enjoy!” Ponyville was flattened, nothing visible but a few broken beams jutting up from the ground. Just beyond, I could see Canterlot, blasted rubble on the side of the mountain. Everywhere I looked was dirt and sand. Everything I knew was dust. I dropped where I stood, breath juddering in the stinging wind. I couldn’t even cry. Discord laughed. He laughed and strolled into the dust, into oblivion. His laughter kicked up more wind and dust, slapping me in the face. Shaking my head from the blow, I faced the sign again. I read it aloud. “No Hope.” And still, I could hear Discord’s awful music inside me. It was in the hush of the wind, and the patter of the blown sand. It was in the absences of my friends’ voices. My life was a minor chord, stretching out forever more. I couldn’t escape it. How could I? I lived on this farm of dirt. With not even a hat to guard my tired brow... I curled up where I was, overwhelmed by the horrible harmony that defined my life. It felt like I lay there forever. Through all the dirt and dust that whipped against me, I could feel the sun high in the sky, beating down. Hot and unrelenting, it always beat down in this unforgiving land. I didn’t even try to hide from it. I waited for the dirt to wash over me, and make me just another dune in this broken place. “RJ... Don’t give up...! Please...!” a voice breathed. I blinked, sitting up. Dirt rained out of my hair. Who had….? Was that... Shy? No. That- that couldn’t have been Shy. She was… she was back at the house. She was back at the house with- With... I shook my head. I couldn’t focus properly. My life was dirt, and dust, and pain, not thought. It had always been like this. It pulsed through me- my hurt. This was my life. But something else fluttered just out of reach. My friends… I’d been doing something? I think? My friends. My family. Doing something. I could do something for them. They couldn’t just lay there. This place may’ve been abandoned to dirt, but that didn’t mean I let them go to dirt. Not if I could give them a proper send-off. With a grunt, I pushed back to my hooves. Across the dirt and ruin, I saw the barn. There was a chance my tools might still be inside. Squaring my jaw, I pushed through the dust storm toward my goal. It was derelict, leaning precariously to one side, but it still stood. As I drew closer, I could hear the barn rattle in the harsh wind. It could topple over any second; I had to move as quick as I could. My mouth tasted like grit by the time I was inside. It was in no better shape than the outside. Hay bales were broken open, straw gusted everywhere, wooden support beams eaten nearly through, loft fallen in- all was a reminder of my ruin. I sighed and pushed ahead, wincing at the sharp grit slapping my face. “Quit it,” I grumbled, holding a hoof up so I could see. “I got a job to do.” To my surprise, I found the cart I needed. Like everything else, it was busted. But it wasn’t completely beyond repair. Using some of the shattered timber and other bits laying around the barn, I was able to jury rig the cart into working, again. Hitching up, I drew it outside. The storm was just as bad, maybe worse. To keep the cart from disintegrating, again, I had to move slow. Painfully slow. I ached for even just a drop of water. Finally, with the sun high in the sky, drying me out like pony jerky, I came back to Big Mac’s body. Picking him up took some doing. Even as… dry as he was, he was still heavy. But I loaded him into the cart, and laid him out, gentle like. I did the same for Granny Smith. After I had her laid by Big Mac, I asked her if I could have her neckerchief. I thanked her when I removed it. Tied around my muzzle, it kept out the worst of the dust. From there, I went home. First, I got my parents. Rag doll people laying next to rag doll ponies, but they were all my family. The high sun scorched my back. Next, I went to my friends. In some ways, they were more important than my kin. They weren’t the kin I was born to, they were the kin I made. I was extra careful as I put them in the cart. I apologized to everyone as I stacked them. There was only so much room. As I came down the front steps, Apple Bloom draped across my back, the axle broke on the cart. Everyone slid, threatening to tumble out of the cart like a loose load of laundry. Dashing over, I managed to catch them all. Tears sprang to my eyes. Those, I let fall. Once I was sure everyone was stayed put, I laid Apple Bloom next to the cart, and set to fixing it. Again. I didn’t need just farm know-how, here. I had to get really clever. I always was a solid physics student, so I figured out how to rig up a makeshift cart jack. The brain-work was the first bright spot of the day. It took a few tries. The wood I had kept snapping. But I didn’t give up. Sweat plastered my fur down, and the sun never moved from its high noon spot. But I made progress, and eventually, I got the cart properly repaired. When I was done, I wiped my brow. I knew I should have just done it right, the first time. My life was one long note of suffering, sure, but that didn’t mean I had to give up. If my... harmony was so intent on keeping me down and aching, I needed to change the song. I murmured new lyrics as I lay Apple Bloom on top of everyone. Looking over the cart and its occupants, the sight carved a pit in my stomach, but I knew I’d taken care of them with as much respect as I could. I hitched up and hauled them around back. There was plenty of dirt to dig graves in. The work took most of the day. The whole time, the sun beat down, and the wind slammed more dust into me. But I didn’t give up, I kept working. I sang with the harmony, a bit. It was right, in a way. Everyone I knew went away in the end. But that didn’t mean I still didn’t honor them. It didn’t mean I forgot them. And as I lay each one in the ground, I remembered who they’d been to me. I remembered my family, always there for me. Encouraging, familiar, warm; my family: the ultimate security blanket. I held close to my heart how that blanket felt, wrapped reassuringly around me. Then, I turned to my friends. Someone who treated me gently when the rest of the world was hard. Someone who gave me the clothes off her back when she was already freezing. Someone who put a smile on my face when times were dark. Someone who stood by my side when I thought I was all alone. And someone who brought it all together, who I trusted to guide me, when I didn’t know where to turn. I lay them each down, alongside my family, and I remembered them all. They were true, true friends. And they always helped me. I could do this last thing for them. And maybe… well, maybe I could do more, too. As I covered them up, laying the last blanket they’d ever know over them, I thought about where I was, and what I had. A farm of dirt. A broken home. And everyone I knew- gone. Not the greatest scorecard. But… it’s what I had. My great grandkin had even less when they came to Ponyville. Hay, my dad only had five bucks in his pocket when he moved up to Syracuse. Well, five bucks in his pocket, and a rusted out El Camino, but it wasn’t much. I had hard land, sure, but it was land. I had a start. I couldn’t let this dust get me. I couldn’t let this pain get me. My world was made to hurt? Well, so what! I wasn’t going to give up. That wasn’t what family did, and that wasn’t what friends did. I pushed the last pile of dirt over their graves, and I pulled down Granny’s kerchief, respectful. They deserved that. They deserved some words, too, so I did my best. “I miss y’all,” I said, voice thick, eyes blurry. “I miss you something fierce. But I won’t just lay down here and wait to join you. You wouldn’t ever have wanted that, and I’m gonna keep doing right by y’all. My world is a lot of pain right now, but that just means a bit of hard work.” I chuckled. “And you know me and hard work.” I rested my hoof in front of where I’d buried them. “I promise I won’t overdo it. I promise I’ll stand by who we were, what we did. I may not get it right, but I won’t give up. I’ll still be honest RJ... but I’ll be sure... to be kind, too.” The tears burst and trailed down my cheeks. “I promise to be loyal. I promise to be generous. To... laugh. And to honor that spark we all shared.” I pulled the kerchief back up. “I promise. I won’t let y’all down.” Turning from their graves, I ignored the wind biting hard at my face and went toward the front of the property. I found the Sweet Apple Acres sign, “No Hope” scrawled across it. Picking it up, I brought it to the front of the property and set it down, leaning against the gate post, blank side up. Satisfied with the setup, I went looking for a nice sharp rock to gouge out new letters in the surface. Somehow, I was sure there’d be plenty of those around. The sun beat down even hotter, but I ignored it. The wind whipped dirt in my face, and I just squinted through the mess. My head felt like it was in a vice. By the time I was done, the new farm sign weren’t pretty, but it was true. Hope Farms. I lived on Hope Farm. Because I didn’t give up. Ever present Harmony pulsed through me as I walked home, but I ignored it. I had a new song on my lips as I strode forward. This wasn’t a song of hurt, or of pain. It definitely wasn’t a song of dirt. It was a song of… working; trying hard to do what I could. It was a song of hope. It was a song I could only sing because of true, true friends.