Trixie and Maud: Heart of Stone

by TheCrimsonDM

Chapter Ninety One: Discussions

The day was going by slowly. After today’s story was over and her growing fanbase dispersed she was left without much to do. So that’s one reason she was currently sitting inside of Rarity’s boutique, the other reason involved Maud dragging her here.

The inside of Rarity’s boutique was rather quiet, and Trixie didn’t exactly like the idea of sitting awkwardly waiting for the unicorn to get done with the dress she was working on. The sound of sewing machine was the only real source of noise, but even that was a quiet set of sounds that didn’t exactly break the silence. To amuse herself Trixie took a look at the walls, they were all covered by tapestry, one particular tapestry showed a very artistic representation of Princess Luna.

Trixie walked over to the tapestry and gently brushed it with a hoof. The fabric was old, really old, but patches of it were new and almost blended in perfectly. There was no way to hide the fact that the old fabric was darker, and pale compared to the bright new parts though. The sowing machine stopped.

“Please don’t touch that, darling. It’s over a thousand years old,” Rarity said.

Trixie stepped back and sat down. “A thousand years old? What did you steal this from Celestia’s old castle or something?” Trixie joked.

“Of course not,” Rarity defended. “As soon as I am finished with the repairs I will return it… you know, after enough ponies have been able to enjoy it’s beauty. It was hidden away from sight for so many years without anypony to admire its elegance.”

Trixie didn’t look at Rarity but shifted around a little nervously. So she did steal it. I don’t really care, I mean Celestia and Luna have had plenty of time to take anything they actually wanted from those ruins. Anything that’s left is pretty much up for grabs as far I care.

“So, Trixie,” Rarity said. “Maud told me you needed to talk to me about something. What’s wrong?”

Trixie thought back to what happened a half hour ago, when Maud had dropped Trixie off here and had a private conversation with Rarity for a few minutes before leaving. Clearly Maud wanted Trixie to discuss her issues with intimacy with Rarity, but why did Maud choose Rarity over say, Pinkie Pie? Trixie still couldn’t figure that part out.

“No, Maud wanted me to talk to you about something. I just wanted somepony to help me,” Trixie stated.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do,” Rarity offered.

Trixie looked away from the tapestry and stared at Rarity. “I’m not sure that it’s in your jurisdiction.”

“Trixie, dear, I run a boutique, if you’ve seen what I keep in the basement then you would know that I’m quite qualified for these kinds of discussions,” Rarity said.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “What do you keep in the basement?”

“Do you know about that box of Pinkie’s, the one she keeps all her private… things in?” Rarity said.

Trixie nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t really like that stuff. It doesn’t sound… fun.”

Rarity let out a sly laugh. “Your innocence is adorable. Have you ever wondered where she procured those items?”  Trixie shook her head. “She bought them from me, well not all of them, but most of them. I run a more adult oriented business downstairs after all. There are a lot of lonely mares out there, and sometimes they need to take care of certain needs. Or in your case they just want to have fun with their marefriend.”

Trixie stared blankly at Rarity for a moment. Rarity is the one who sales those… things! I don’t even know why a pony would want something like that. I’ve been with Maud for a while now and we’ve never needed them… or does Maud secretly want them. Is this another thing I’ve been screwing up somehow?”

Trixie’s head lowered and she gave a depressed sigh of defeat.

“Oh darling, I didn’t mean that you needed them,” Rarity said rather quickly. “If fact with your past, it might not be a smart idea.”

Trixie looked up at Rarity and noticed the unicorn was biting her lip. “You don’t understand. I just can’t… I need help.”

Rarity walked over to Trixie and sat down next to her. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“The first night that I got back from my...” Trixie searched for a word to explain it, she decided to use the word that Rarity had once said, “Vacation, I tried to make love with Maud. I bit her though.”

“Oh, that sounds fun,” Rarity said, excited.

“She didn’t like that.”

Rarity’s ears folded back slightly and her tone dropped. “Oh, well that’s not good. Continue.”

“I ruined that moment for us, I scared her and did something to her that she didn’t want to do. I’m a monster,” Trixie said. “I tried to make up for it last night, but just before I could go through with it, I pictured Fluttershy. I couldn’t help it, I know its wrong, but I saw Fluttershy and, and, Rarity, I ruined it for us twice now.”

Rarity shook her head slowly. “You aren’t a monster, Trixie.”

“I broke Maud’s trust. I hurt her, I forced her to into something she didn’t like, and on top of that I can’t stop picturing another mare when I’m with her. Rarity, I’m a monster.”

Rarity put a hoof on Trixie’s shoulder. “You made a few mistakes, and you’re having trouble getting over them. How can that make you a monster.”

“I took something that was special to us, something that was so fragile and I ruined it. I… I’m a horrible pony,” Trixie said lamely.

Rarity was quiet for a long minute, and the silence was painful. Finally Rarity broke the silence. “How many ponies have you been intimate with?”

“There’s Maud, and Fluttershy. So two,” Trixie lied.

Rarity’s eyes became hard. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but I need to know about before that. Who was your first, because I know that it couldn’t have been Maud.”

Trixie closed her eyes. She could feel her body shaking. “Manehattan.”

“Yes, I’ve heard. You had an… unpleasant, experience there. What about before, think about high school, surely there was a mare, or stallion that you were interested in,” Rarity said.

Trixie’s body trembled violently, her breathing became shallow, and her chest ached. “I never had a real mare friend before Maud, and I didn’t exactly trust ponies that much.”

“So what are you trying to tell me, that you never had any experiences in school?” Rarity asked, she sounded confused.

“Maud was my first,” Trixie lied. She knew it was a lie, but it was a lie she would rather live with. She could see those stallions, the enjoyment they got out of hurting her, the awful things they did, all the humiliation, the pain, everything sick and twisted and wrong about the whole situation. She just wanted to go back in time and stop herself from ever leaving the rock farm, she could’ve been safe then.

“Trixie,” Rarity said gently. Something warm and fluffy brushed against her cheek. “You’re crying.”

Trixie opened her eyes, it was hard to see with how wet they were. She opened her mouth to protest, but she could feel the tears running down her cheeks now. She sat quietly and shook.

“I see,” Rarity said calmly. “It’s no wonder you’re so… confused. Those stallions took something precious from you, something you’ll never retrieve.”

Trixie stayed quiet and attempted to stop her shaking, she failed.

“It had occurred to me that maybe you thought about intimacy in extremes, as though it was only black and white. It’s not though, a lot of times it’s a bit gray,” Rarity said. “Just because Maud didn’t enjoy being bitten doesn’t make you a monster, or ruin the moment. It’s more of a learning curve.”

Trixie shook her head. “No, it makes me a monster. If it’s not good, then it’s evil.”

“Trixie, I know you’ve had it rough, but what you’re saying is simply not true.”

“You’re lying,” Trixie said quietly. “I’ve experienced this, I know how it works. It’s either beautiful or it’s the worst thing ever.”

“Oh yeah,” Rarity said resolutely. “Remember the night the four of us shared together. How would you describe that?”

Trixie stayed quiet for a few minutes. She thought about that night. Pinkie and Maud had pretty much enjoyed themselves, leaving Rarity and Trixie together. She had somehow forgotten about that night completely, no that was quite true, she just didn’t want to remember it because of what she learned about Maud and what she did to Pinkie Pie. Trixie did enjoy herself, even though after being smothered by Maud and Pinkie, things became very blurry very quickly.

She finally shook her head and said in a voice just above a whisper, “I enjoyed it, but I don’t think that Pinkie liked it very much. Actually, I think Pinkie Pie really disliked it… now that I think about it, I think Maud might have done something really bad…”        

“Why is that?” Rarity asked.

“Because Pinkie didn’t exactly want to be with her sister like that,” Trixie answered. “So it was wrong to force her into that situation.”

“Who forced Pinkie to do that?”

Trixie shook her head. “I don’t know, Maud did?”

“That’s not how I view it,” Rarity said.

Trixie stared up at her with big open eyes. She wasn’t exactly sure how to view it herself, but if Rarity didn’t see it this way, she was curious how she saw it.

“I mostly remember watching you three getting lost in the moment, I even got lost for a while. While it was going on it was fantastic, well aside from the end there where I was all but forgotten…” Rarity looked disappointed. “I digress. The point is, although the night wasn’t magical by any means, it wasn’t bad either. It was okay. I didn’t like it as much you did, but it wasn’t supposed to be my night.”

“I… I’m sorry,” Trixie apologized. Great two ponies who I’ve hurt now.

“You don’t need to be. That’s just how these things happen, I don’t like orgies for this exact reason,” Rarity explained. “But the night wasn’t bad, it wasn’t evil. And Maud doesn’t feel like that night with you was evil either. She talked to me about it, she honestly doesn’t want to worry you about this Trixie, but she told me,” Rarity leaned into Trixie’s ear, “That if you wanted to try new stuff, she would be willing to do whatever you wanted. Just talk to her about before hoof, or else you might surprise her.”

Trixie sniffed. “Okay, that makes sense.”

Rarity’s words floated at the surface of Trixie’s consciousness for awhile. She wasn’t exactly sure what to do with them, they defied her way of thinking, but at the same time they made a sort of sense to her, a sense that she hadn’t really had before. Maud was always so gentle with her, and branching out like this was still new, and especially terrifying for Trixie. She knew that she’d have to think more about this later, but just this small conversation had really helped a lot. She still had one problem though.

“Why do I keep seeing Fluttershy?” Trixie asked.

Rarity shook her head. “I don’t know. But maybe it’s because you’re torturing yourself over what you did, and that you don’t want to let yourself forget about it. But if you keep that up, you’ll hurt Maud more then if you were to simply try and go through with it.” Rarity was quiet a moment, but then she smiled. “I have an idea, why don’t you try looking into Maud’s eyes. Don’t close your eyes for a moment, and if you start slipping off into a memory, remind yourself of Maud. Maybe that will help?”

“Really?” Trixie asked.

“I hope so, otherwise you can always try using some of the things in my basement to spice it up a little,” Rarity said, half joking.

Trixie smiled. “I think I’ll pass on that offer, but I’ll try your suggestion.”

A few hours later, Trixie walked through town with a white jacket worn over back and a purple dress cut short at the knees underneath. She had to admit that she felt rather pretty while strutting through town next to the white unicorn, who was also dressed up in something purple and flashy. Together the two of them looked positively stunning, or at least that’s what Trixie thought.
 
The two of them made their way to a little restaurant in the middle of town. Inside Trixie saw a bunch of ponies sitting at tables and eating wonderful smelling dishes, pasta, soup, and even sandwiches were among the meals ponies could order here. Trixie looked over at Rarity and saw the unicorn pointing a hoof to a table off in the corner next to a window, following that direction with her gaze, Trixie saw Maud sitting by herself wearing a deep blue dress.
 
Trixie walked away from Rarity, but made a note of the fact that the unicorn wasn’t leaving. Instead Rarity walked over to another table where Trixie saw Spike sitting awkwardly one of the chairs, his feet touching the ground. Looks like Rarity is here for some private business of her own. I’ll keep that to myself though, no need to worry Twilight.
 
Once Trixie got to Maud’s table she set down on a chair, and dangled her hooves freely off of the edge. It was strange how chairs were so awkward to sit in, but they were comfortable, and kept the dress she borrowed from Rarity, from getting dirty. Trixie looked at Maud and smiled.
 
Maud stared with her eyes a little wider than normal, and her mouth slightly ajar. After a moment of being stared at in complete silence Trixie began to feel a little embarrassed. Why is she staring at me like that? Do I have something in my mane?
 
“Honey, stop staring at me,” Trixie asked politely.
 
Maud shook her head. “L… Lulu, you look stunning.”
 
Stunning! Trixie felt her face warming up. She leaned over the table and her smile grew. Despite how pretty Maud’s sparkly dress was, Trixie enjoyed seeing Maud without clothing more.
 
“I don’t look that good,” Trixie said.
 
“Yes, you do,” Maud protested. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before, at least, not like this.”
 
Trixie thought about it, and lamented over the fact that they didn’t exactly go out on dates very often. Their usual routine revolved around having an emotional breakdown, and then making love, rinse, repeat.
 
Maud’s dress was very different from her usual unassuming one. The deep blue color was complemented by sparkling little gems, it reminded Trixie of a starry night sky. Resting her head against her hoof she couldn’t help but stare at Maud.
 
Maud shifted nervously underneath Trixie’s gaze. “Chairs are weird.”
 
Trixie nodded. “Yeah, I think that they were made by the anubis.”
 
“That what?”
 
Trixie let out a sigh, not everypony had been gifted with the ability to learn about ancient history. “You see before the time of ponies there were these upright dog creatures, unlike diamond dogs, these guys ruled most of the known world. There were a race of cats that rebelled against them and eventually overthrew them. Their leader named Bas was rumored to have been in a relationship with Discord.”
 
“I don’t like Discord,” Maud said flatly.
 
“You’ve met him?” Trixie asked dumbfounded.
 
“I met him at the gala, he was mean and rude,” Maud said. She was quiet for a while before adding, “After what he’s done to Fluttershy it’s no wonder she’s not really friends with him anymore.”
 
Trixie’s ears perked up at that. “What do you mean?”
 
“She’s been betrayed by him at least twice. It was a slow process, but she stopped visiting with him every week, and I don’t thinks she’s actually spoken to him in months,” Maud explained. “But my sister seems to be there for her now.” Maud made a sour expression. “Fluttershy better not hurt her too.”
 
“I’m sure that Pinkie has that under control,” Trixie said.
 
“How do you know? My sister has very little self control. I’ve seen her do things that make me shiver,” Maud said. “Especially in regards to her appetite. Did you know that my sister stayed the night with Fluttershy last night? How can that be self control?”
 
For a moment Trixie debated telling Maud about her ability to remote view in her dreams. She was reminded of how she had once trusted the secret of her mind reading to Fluttershy, but not with Maud. Maud found out anyway, but the fact that she had entrusted another mare with something so private and secret was a terrible sin.
 
Trixie let out a sigh. “I can see things in my dreams, sometimes I even become other ponies and see the world through their eyes. I can also read minds, and sense emotions from other ponies, but I guess you already knew that much.”
 
That grabbed Maud’s attention, her ears perked up and her eyes widened a little. “Did you see my sister last night?”
 
“Yes I did, and she handled herself very well. Fluttershy was willing to give herself to Pinkie, but Pinkie told her no. Said something about waiting until Fluttershy was healed from… what I did to her,” Trixie finished lamely.
 
Maud reached out with a hoof and gently stroked Trixie’s mane. Not a moment later, a waitress came out with two plates of pasta. She set them down at their table and Maud’s lips curled into a tiny smile as the mare walked away.
 
Trixie looked at the plate, and then back up at Maud. “You already ordered?”
 
“I wanted us to try the pasta. Its supposed to be really good according to Twilight and Pinkie,” Maud admitted.
 
Trixie grinned. “Sounds like a five star review if you ask me.”

After the wonderful dinner the two returned home with full bellies. There was a fantasy novel left on their front porch with a gift tag on it, the tag had Trixie’s name, though it didn’t say who exactly left it for her, she speculated that it might have been Twilight. Even with how busy Twilight’s been lately, the fact she still found time to think about Trixie was touching.
 
Pinkie Pie showed up just long enough to enjoy a small dinner and talk to them before heading out. When asked where she was going, Pinkie Pie didn’t give an exact answer, instead she said something about helping a pony in need. This left Trixie wondering if perhaps Pinkie was staying at Fluttershy’s while the pegasus recovered from Trixie’s emotional assault.

It was odd not having another pair of pony eyes watching her, tonight it was just her and Maud. With the sun gone, and the curtains drawn, Trixie couldn’t help but think about the advice that she’d been given by Rarity earlier.

Maud was already preparing the bed on the couch. Trixie watched as Maud got the blankets and pillows, she didn’t ask questions, nor complain. Maud simply tried her best to make Trixie happy.

Looking at the door to her bedroom, Trixie felt a slight chill along her spine. I want to do this for her, I want to make her happy. If I can just focus on Maud, maybe it will work.

“Maud,” Trixie said quietly.

Trixie’s lover stopped what she was doing, her ears perked up, and she stared at Trixie. “Yes.”

“Maybe we can try sleeping in our bedroom tonight?” Trixie suggested, her heart raced at the mere thought.

Maud walked over to Trixie’s side and nuzzled her neck. “Are you sure?”

Trixie nodded.

“Okay,” Maud replied.

Maud was the one to open the bedroom door and the first one to step in. Trixie could feel the cold air rushing out of the bedroom. She lamented not having been able to go in here sooner, the room’s been left alone for so long that it was freezing. Maud didn’t waste any time climbing into the bed and getting snug underneath the covers. Trixie quickly followed her example.

Maud and Trixie lay there, staring into each other’s eyes. Trixie could see the longing in Maud’s eyes, but she could also see the hesitation there. There were moments where Maud dropped her emotional armor and Trixie was able to see through her shield. It was a wonderful thing knowing that she was probably the only one to get to see this side of Maud.

“Lulu,” Maud said quietly. “I… I’m still cold.”

There was something fragile in Maud’s tone. Trixie scooted closer and felt her face warming up. She wrapped a hoof around Maud from under the covers and pulled the mare close. Maud’s chest rubbed against Trixie’s, and Trixie grinned when she saw Maud’s face turning a light shade of pink.

Trixie leaned in and pressed the tip of her muzzle against Maud’s. “I can think of something to warm us up.”

“Are you sure?” Maud asked, but Trixie could hear something almost desperate in Maud’s voice.

Trixie reached out with her mind and felt Maud’s thoughts. They were quiet, hot, and scared. “I want her so badly, but I know how damaged she is. I won’t ever force her, and if I have to I’ll wait for an eternity for her to get ready, but I want her so badly,” Maud thought. “My hooves will never compare to her touch.”

Trixie pulled away from Maud’s thoughts and kissed Maud gently. Maud’s body went suddenly rigid underneath the weight of her kiss, before going limp. Trixie continued kissing Maud for awhile, and Maud kissed back.

I haven’t realized just how much she missed me. I’m going to make this night count, I’m going to make it perfect.

Trixie moved her muzzle away from Maud’s and leaned in to Maud’s neck. The light smell of dirt was still in Maud’s fur, and it made Trixie’s head spin. She began kissing along Maud’s neck, with each kiss she inhaled Maud’s scent and shivered a little with delight. Soon her mind was lost in the moment and she found herself climbing onto of Maud and squirming with lust.

Trixie looked deeply into Maud’s eyes, and reached out with her mind again. The world around them vanished, and suddenly Trixie found herself back at the rock farm. Maud was underneath her, looking up with wide, beautiful eyes, and smiling. Trixie leaned in and kissed Maud again, thrusting herself against the pony at the same time. Maud tried to moan but her mouth was full with Trixie’s tongue.

They rolled around, kissing, touching, and becoming a mess of tangled limbs. The dirt underneath them wasn’t really there, but Trixie still imagined she could feel the soil, warmed by the day’s hot sun, pressing against the sides of her fur and her back as they kissed.

There was no room to think about anything other than Maud, here in what Trixie could only describe as being Maud’s mentally safe place, the only thing she could focus on in the hot sun was how much Maud wanted her, and how much she needed Maud. After everything was done, her throat was sore, her wings hurt, and she was lying limp next to Maud. 

Trixie closed her eyes, and when she opened them again she was back in her own bed with an exhausted looking Maud.

Maud stared into Trixie’s eyes, her face was covered in sweat and completely red. “Lulu,” Maud said quietly, but her tone was full of love. “That was amazing.”

Trixie laid her head onto Maud’s chest, breathed in the smell of Maud’s sweat, and licked Maud’s fur. “I love you, more than anything.”

Maud brushed Trixie’s mane with a flimsy hoof. “I love you too. I don’t ever want to lose you again.” Maud kissed the top of Trixie’s head and whispered, “I don’t think I’ll ever find a pony who can do that to me again.”

Trixie laid there for a few moments, silently enjoying the way Maud’s body was wrapped around hers. Finally she looked up. “Maud, I-“ she stopped when she saw Maud’s eyes closed and her lips curled into the perfect smile. “Okay, you deserve some sleep.” Trixie closed her eyes, kissed Maud gently on the lips one last time, and then snuggled into her neck.

Trixie made sure that her horn wasn’t in too awkward of a spot as it rested against Maud’s shoulder, but that was about all she could do before she was swept away into the world of dreams. That night she dreamed about sweet things, her favorite willow tree, and all the lustful things she and Maud would do underneath it once spring came around again.