Just then they came in sight of a windmill sitting on the outskirts of a small town, one that had stood alone for countless years, avoiding any sort of mention in previous stories, serving only to complete the traditional surreal village scene. No sooner did Pinkiexote see it than she said to her squire, Apple Janza, “Oh my goodness! Look at that, AJ! It’s a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth-gnashing, sharp-scale-having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could-eat-a-pony-in-one-bite, totally all-grown-up dragon! I must drive him away from the city, or he'll suffocate everypony! And just think, if I drive him away, somepony might give me a reward. And maybe Celestia herself would give me something. Although I’m not too sure what I would like better for my reward–money or cake. But maybe I should ask for something I’ve never had, like…like chimicherrichanga! Or maybe….
“Beg pardon, sugarcube, but what dragon are ya talkin’ about?” asked Apple Janza.
“Silly AJ,” replied Pinkiexote, “that one right in front of your nose. Look, he even has four gigantically enormous arms. Isn’t that a crack-up?” While uttering these words, she cackled and snorted like an assortment of livestock.
“Ah don’t mean t’ upset ya none,” Apple interrupted, “But that’s a windmill, and them arms are actually sails. Ah know that windmills are s’posed to make flour, but Ah’ve never been t’ th’ place so Ah wouldn’t know what they hay they do there, but Ah do know that it ain’t a dragon.”
“Are you loco in the coco?” cried Pinkiexote. “You obviously have no experience in this kind of thing. That is a four-armed dragon, and if you’re too scared to fight him with me, then I’ll go by myself!”
At this Apple Janza could not help but chuckle at her master’s bold attitude. “And what are YOU laughing at?” yelled Pinkiexote, looking straight into Apple’s green eyes.
“Um, chocolate milk,” stuttered Apple.
“Stand back then, Apple; I am just about to be brilliant!” Turning back to face the windmill, Pinkiexote clicked her hooves and galloped off, without heeding the cries of her squire, who warned her that she was attacking not a dragon but a windmill that was irrelevant to any fanfiction plots until now. But she was so convinced that it was a dragon that she neither heard her squire’s shouts nor did she notice what it was, though she was very near it and, one would logically assume, had seen it before, living in Ponyville and all. Instead, she rushed on, shouting in a loud voice, “Heeheehee, this is so much fun…I mean, grr! Move out of the way, dragon!” At that moment a slight breeze arose and the sails began to move. When Pinkiexote saw this, she shouted again: “He’s trying to snatch me off the ground! You’ll pay for that!”
Saying this and commending herself most devoutly to her most prized dessert, the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, she pulled on a black ninja suit and grabbed her party canon out of thin air, and charged at full speed and rammed the windmill. Her party canon ran into the sail (she had failed to fire before coming upon the structure), but the sails twisted it with such violence that it shivered the canon, being made of rock candy, into pieces and sent Pinkiexote flying much like the time she mimicked a firecracker, save this flight had a more unfortunate ending. She hit the ground and rolled over and over, finally halting, and was sorely damaged.
Apple Janza galloped up to her assistance as fast and she could, and when she reached her master, she found that she was unable to move, such was the blow she received.
“Celestia help us!” cried Apple. “Didn’t Ah tell ya t’ watch out? It was just a windmill. Nopony could have thought it was a dragon unless she had windmills in ‘er mind.”
At that Pinkiexote leaped up on her hooves. “Ponies can have windmills in their heads?” she asked, quite bewildered. “That’s weird. I would think griffons would have windmills in their heads, but ponies? Like…you-and-me kind of ponies? Never mind, I know that I saw a dragon, and I’m sure that someone magically changed it from a dragon into a windmill so I wouldn’t get any chimicherries…and I know whodunit too. It was…the bakers! Oops, wrong case. It was actually Trixón, the sideshow magician, who did-done-dood-it, because she’s a big jealous judgmental jealousy pants. But in the end I will show her who runs things around here.”
“Yeah, sure,” Apple agreed half-heartedly as the two ponies continued on their adventure.