Friendhip is Disaster

by A Pony In Coat


Finally!

Friendship is Disaster.
Finally!

Twilight Sparkle stood at center of ground floor of Golden Oaks Library, surrounded by her best friends. Everyone wore their respective jewelry, representing their Element.

“Better this work…” Prayed Applejack. Without doubt, others felt same way about situation.

Twilight held spellbook with telekinesis, furiously scribbling down her regular friendship speech.

“C'mon...” Applejack thought impatiently, as Twilight placed final full stop in book and floated it aside.

Her friends stepped closer to Twilight, to give her a group hug.

Suddenly star in Twilight's crown glowed and exploded with energy, pushing away everyone from Twilight.

Others' necklaces began emitting thick beams of magic power at Twilight, engulfing her in powering up sphere.

Moments later, sphere vanished with blinding flash, together with Twilight Sparkle, leaving behind smoking star shaped smudge.

All remaining ponies gasped in mix of horror, surprise and relief.

“What did exactly happened?..” Fluttershy asked staring at what left of Twilight sparkle.

“I guess, she was fired.” Pinkie Pie said, completing rimshot on a random drumset.

“YES!” All remaining ponies joined in group hug. “We got rid of her!”

* * *

Applejack and other Twilight's former friends plan came to fruition. Since Twilight arrived to Ponyville, their lives was turned upside down.

Ponyville was regular peaceful town, not for long. After Twilight took residence in Ponyville, the town became target for all kinds of disasters, often with oblivious assistance of Twilight herself.

It was decided unanimously to get rid of Twilight Sparkle, no matter of costs.

“What about the lizard?” Rainbow Dash asked. “We cannot allow person close to Twilight, especially who can communicate with princess Celestia directly, walk freely.”

“Well,” Applejack said, concerned with unnecessary elements in her plan. “Our pets failed at neutralizing spike while we were in Crystal Empire.”

“Ummm… I instructed them as we agreed,” Fluttershy said, seems guilty. “Angel tried to improvise with the train and push Spike off… It didn't work. He wanted to sabotage the train for next step, but he got captured by Spike.”

“Anyway,” Applejack continued. “Plan C. Rarity, you know what to do.”

“Got it!” Rarity smiled. “Don't worry dear, I will take care of him.”

“It was hilarious when we pulled prank with cutie marks” Rainbow Dash laughed, leaving library. “Rarity, send my thanks to Lyra's friends from Canterlot.”

Rainbow dashed into sky, rushing towards pegasus ponies posted on clouds in advance. Team should create dense fog for next step of plan.

“I will go make preparations for celebrations!” Pinkie Pie smiled. “Meanwhile I will create a new song on this very date!”

Pinkie Pie pronked in direction of Sugarcube Corner, happily humming her theme song. She should warn other ponies about next phase of operation.

“Rarity, will see you at Sugarcube Corner.” Applejack ordered, pointing at leaving Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, five minute readiness for next phase.”

Fluttershy flew back to her cottage to prepare for final phase of operation involving her animals, the cover up procedure.

Applejack exited library, closing door behind and moved towards town hall to negotiate details of alibi with Mayor Mare, so she could pass it on to the rest of town's population.

* * *

After multiple failures before, plan was made as complex as possible, including redundancy and large windows for margin of error.

The project involved weeks of planning, work of many townsponies, including help from other cities.

It was decided that only way to deal with Twilight is to user her powers against herself. Magic is her weakness and shall be her downfall.

Using contacts in Canterlot, a 'special' package was sent, simulating authenticity of princess Celestia. Idea was accepted sceptically at first, but then it was estimated that Twilight will disregard common sense at words 'princess Celestia', 'special package' and visuals resembling anything close to book.

Book was enchanted with self-destruct spell, priming external artifacts' as source of power, triggering on spoken keywords.

It was two-stage self-destruction spell. First stage set of words should bind nearby artifacts, second stage activates power sources. Crown serves as power concentrator, necklaces feed additional power.

Keywords were kindly provided from closest 'friends' of Twilight, using carefully analyzed template of typical friendship letter.

First set of words were spoken words written in book. Everyone feared that words will not look anything like spell, but assumed that common sense will not recover at moment of reading.

Second set of words was generalized collection of all friendship reports, to be read in presence of artifact wielders, which were other Elements of Harmony.

As day began, friends switched their cutie marks by illusion spell with help of infamous Trixie. The hardest part was not to laugh, when they seen Twilight's face when imitating failure of 'daily activities'.

This allowed additional time to drug Spike's food with sleep powder back at library.

Illusion spell was bound to give visual clues and dispel when seemingly innocent, previously negotiated words are spoken to give visual clues and finally, necklace attached.

Once self-destruct spell activated, to ensure complete obliteration of any traces of Twilight Sparkle, library should be demolished.

In general, it should look like unfortunate incident in Twilight's basement laboratory involving explosions and two missing tenants.

* * *

Rarity ascended stairs, searching for probably sleeping spike. For safety reasons, Spike always retreated back to Twilight's room when she conducted magic experiments.

As expected Spike was sleeping on Twilight's bed with unfinished bowl of diamond dust, lying with face in comic book.

“You are so cute,” whispered Rarity, doubling it with check for Spike's sleepiness.

Rarity levitated prepared fireproof iron box, took Spike carefully with her forehooves and embedded him endearingly.

“Bon voyage,” Rarity said, closing box with same iron lid with holes. “I heard they like dragons over there, Stalliongrad. As pets.”

Rarity levitated heavy box and left the library. It took her five minutes to reach post office.

Rarity filled in form and glued stickers on box, saying: “Mr. Anonymous. Infinity St., Random, Stalliongrad. DO NOT RETURN.” Address location ensures that box will be bounced around by different branches of post offices. At some point Spike will find way out, but it will be too late. Known mailmare will take care of delivery, even if she delivers to wrong address.

On way to Sugarcube Corner, Rarity was approached by colt with large ears and camera.

“Here are photographs of Golden Oaks library, miss rarity.” Featherweight demonstrated photos of library at moment of flash. “Looks authentic, as if library being blown apart. On top of this, I made it blurry and mandatory oblique angle to give impression of shot taken 'hurriedly' in stressful situation.”

Rarity studied pictures attentively, it seemed colt knew his subject very well.

“Well done!” Rarity approved and took photographs. “I will make sure that it will go to all newspapers' breaking news this afternoon.”

Rarity knew Filthy Rich for years, they were partners in business when Ponyville's days were young, providing needed financial growth for town's prosperity as it was known before Twilight Sparkle arrived.

One hour later, newspaper ponies shouted, waving freshly released newspapers:

“Breaking news, breaking news! Freak accident at Golden Oaks library! Read in today's special report!! More on pages 2, 3, 5 and 6!!!”

Newspaper featured the said photograph taking up a good half of A3 page and headline screaming: “FREAK ACCIDENT AT GOLDEN OAKS LIBRARY! HAS TWILIGHT SPARKLE GONE TOO FAR?”
* * *

Rainbow Dash showed up near suspicious single group of clouds, which served as temporary base for weather ponies for duration of operation. Clouds already were delivered. In charge were Cloudkicker and Raindrops.

“Did you managed to pull it off?” Cloudkicker asked. “Or Twilight whopped you flanks again?”

“You won't believe,” Rainbow Dash replied proudly. “We did it!”

“Impressive,” said Raindrops. “Clouds here as discussed, what's next?”

“When we are signaled,” Rainbow Dash answered. “We pull down clouds to ground. Clouds will dissolve in form of fog.”

* * *

Applejack knocked at Mayor Mare's office door.

“Come in!” Muffled voice sounded behind door.

“It's me, Applejack!” Applejack waved to Mayor Mare.

“Did you managed to pull off it? Tell me you did!” Mayor Mare asked impatiently, it seems he was nervous all time.

“We did. We finally did it! Can you believe that?” Applejack shouted.

“Hardly! As you are element of honesty, this is true. What is next?” Mayor Mare sighed with relief.

“We should stick to legend as follows: Unexplained explosion destroyed library. Both it's tenants are missing and assumed dead. The press doing its rounds already. You only have to make it official with announcement.” Applejack ordered calmly. “We have five minutes.”

“I'm on it,” said Mayor Mare, leaning to intercom box. “Call in all citizens of town for emergency assembly. Now.”

* * *

Fluttershy was at her cottage instructing already outfitted animals, led by Angel.

“Let's repeat for last time,” said Fluttershy, a bit nervous. “Mr Bear, you carry box with explosives into library. Please, be gentle.”

Bear grunted softly. He already wore the said box, strapped to his back.

“Mice and Rats, you gnaw into library foundation and then place charges.”

Rodents squeaked. They carried hanks of electric wires on their belts.

“Birds, you plant termite boxes in above floors. They will weaken structure.”

Birds chirped. They had boxes attached to their legs.

“Rabbits, you wire entire setup.”

Rabbits replied in affirmative manner. Rabbits had wire bundle wrapped around their chests, complete with wiring tools on their belts.

“The rest follow instructions of Angel.”

Various animal noises were heard and clanging of different equipment.

“Angel, you lead entire party.”

Angel saluted Fluttershy with his right paw. Angel wore red beret on his head and cucumber band around his chest, with matching set of carrots behind his back.

“Then, let it be. Move out!” Sighed out Fluttershy.

* * *

Mayor Mare stood on stage, ready to give speech. Applejack stood beside her, waiting to give approval to Mayor Mare. Applejack nodded.

“I am delighted to announce that the witch is dead.” Mayor Mare said.

Crowd exploded with cheer.

“It was freak accident. Nothing to see here.” Mayor Mare continued in boring voice.

It was hidden signal to everyone, second phase of operation begins and everypony should stay at home until it ends.

Applejack gave ponies five minutes and ignited firework rocket.

Rainbow dash with weather ponies began covering town with fog clouds...

* * *

Ponyville immersed into fog, group of animals moved trough back alleys of town along predetermined route by easily visible cues, glowing fireflies in jars, installed in advance.

It took matter of minutes to reach the library. Angel opened door lightly and checked for signs of trouble inside. Once ensured that there is no one in library, he ordered the rest of his troops to move in.

Anger gave mute orders to groups of animals.

“Bear. Drop off the box.”

Bear carefully removed box from his back and placed it on floor.

“Rats. You may start now.”

Rats rushed into door leading to basement lab.

“Rabbits. Deploy the wirework.”

Rabbits began conducting wires to different parts of library.

Birds were given orders beforehand to drop off termites once other animals begin work inside. Carefully timed, structure will be unstable when the last animal will leave.

Fives minutes later, everything was complete. Wires connected to detonator, holes drilled, charges primed and structure weakened. Animal began leaving the library in calm and orderly manner.

Angel was the last animal leaving the library, with small detonator box in paws. Once reached safe distance, he pressed t-shaped handle, still walking away, he even not looked at explosion.

* * *

Citizens of Ponyville slowly gathered around what left of Golden Oaks library, a large burning crater.

“Do you know what time is it, everypony?” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Party time!”

Ponies livened up at Pinkie Pie's notion.

“Everypony, watch out!” Pinkie Pie took out a large walkie-talkie. “Incomiiiiing!”

A strange flying contraption whizzed above the town, dropping off multiple rockets targeted on site around crater. Every missile that impacted the ground, exploded into confetti and fully stocked table of snacks.

“Let's celebration begin!” Pinkie Pie announced to stunned ponies.

“She knows how to enter effectively,” Rainbow Dash snorted, unearthing startled Fluttershy out of trembling pile of confetti.

“Thank goodness,” Rarity said, gently stroking her mane and whisking confetti off her head. “My new mane gel keeps my mane intact even in harshest conditions!”

“I want to make a toast,” Applejack clinked glass bowl with utensil to draw everyone's attention. “We have finally freed our Ponyville from terror of Twilight Sparkle! It were hard years, it had not gone without losses and hard work, but today we celebrate!” Applejack said over exclaiming cheers of ponies. “I would like to thank all ponies that struggled together with us and carried on in spite of danger and low morale, without you we probably never reached victory! Here, I present my personal reserves of apple cider! Extra aged! Big Mac!”

Big Mac pulled a carriage loaded with many barrels, picked freshly from Applejack's cellar.

Next was Mayor Mare, who wanted to present her speech.

“Fillies and Gentlecolts, in honor of today's victory,” Mayor Mare announced. “I proclaim a new public holiday!”

Ponies had a good time, assisted with Pinkie Pie's games, including archery using Twilight Sparkle cardboard cutout as target, Twilight Sparkle pinata, Twilight Sparkle plushie burning. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia fired up their debut performance, a brand new genre, classical rave.

* * *

It was past midnight, ponies began dispersing to their homes, except for five ponies.

“What a mess!” Applejack said, removing streamers tangled in her legs. “I hope you will clean up until morning, Pinkie Pie.”

“One moment!” Pinkie Pie answered happily.

A pink blur and a moment later, entire area was clear from confetti, plates, cups and other byproducts of partying.

“Done!” Pinkie Pie smiled, not looking any tired.

A sudden flash of light shone if front of everyone. Twilight Sparkle materialized, unharmed and even with more limbs, showing off a new pair of wings.

“Did you miss me?” Twilight grinned widely.