A week passed since Pinkie Pie told Twilight Sparkle of her older sisters impending visit, and Maud Pie arrived in Ponyville with little fanfare. Pinkie brought her sister to the castle as soon as she had rested after her journey. Spike walked in on Pinkie showing ‘The Table’ to Maud in the throne room.
“This is my throne, and sometimes I sit on it, and this super special table shows me super special missions I need to go on. Did you know I helped the Griffin’s rediscover friendship using the power of baking powder?” Pinkie said.
Maud blinked once. “I read your letter on the mission. I don’t think the baking powder was the catalyst you believe it is. I think it was your ability to help others find their true selves. You’re very special Pinkie, and I want you to know the whole family is very proud of everything you’ve accomplished since you left the farm.” Maud said.
Pinkie blushed deeply. “Ahh shucks. I love you too, Maud. Was that the big news you came to tell me?” Pinkie said.
“We are being watched.” Maud said.
Spike took a sip from a steaming mug. “Hey Pinkie, Hey Maud. I wasn’t trying to spy or anything. I just came down to see who was making all that noise so early in the morning.” Spike said.
“Pinkie has a throne. She has a right to be here.” Maud said.
“I know. Twilight has told me that with the exception of our residential areas Pinkie and the other four are free to use this castle as they see fit.” Spike said.
“Boggles the mind doesn’t it. I was excited when I got to watch Sugar Cube Corner on my own, and now I have the run of a castle. I don’t know if my imagination is big enough to handle all the possibilities.” Pinkie said.
“I think you will manage. Your gifts are still enfolding. You are more than you know, dear Pinkie.” Maud said.
“Speaking of gifts. Did you notice my necklace? It’s a rare string of rose rubies. I love the way it sets of my mane.” Pinkie said.
“The sure looks tasty on you, I mean good.” Spike said.
“I brought gifts for all. Spike, I bring you dragonite. It is magically infused corundum. It is practically indestructible. You should be sucking on it for a full day at least. Be good to Pinkie for only I can bring you such unique treats.” Maud said. She threw a glowing colour shifting gem at Spike’s feet.
“I’m always good to Pinkie Pie. Just the other day, I told her she was my sweetest friend.” Spike said.
“But dragonite is sweeter.” Maud said.
“Oh, yes.” Spike replied as he licked the jewel.
“Remember that.” Maud said.
Twilight Sparkle trotted into the throne room. “There you are, Spike. I’m just about to serve up breakfast. It’s your favourite, French toast with emerald sprinkles. Oh, Pinkie Pie, Maud, you’re here. I wasn’t expecting you, but you rarely do what ponies expect you to do, Pinkie. Good morning. Have the two of you had breakfast? I would be delighted if you were to join me and Spike.” Twilight said.
Maud bowed low. “We would be honoured, Your Highness.” She said.
“No need to be so formal. We’re all friends here.” Twilight said.
“Yeah! Second Breakfast! Race you to the dining room, Spike.” Pinkie said she took off.
Spike chased after the bouncing pink mare. “We usually eat in the breakfast nook.” He cried out.
“Actually, the dining room isn’t a bad idea considering there are four of us. Would you like to accompany me to the kitchen to get our food? We can catch up as we trot.” Twilight said.
“I would like that. Would you mind if I made my request now?” Maud asked.
“Request away, my rock loving friend.” Twilight said.
“I would like you to marry me.” Maud said.
Twilight froze. “I beg your pardon.” She said.
“I think I worded that sentence poorly. Would you be willing to conduct my wedding ceremony?” Maud said.
“I know that as a princess such things are expected of me. Most people around here ask The Mayor. Thank goodness. She is a priestess as well as a mayor so she can conduct both civic and religious services. You are member of The Faith. Why don’t you ask a priest or a priestess?” Twilight asked.
“If you conduct the ceremony, none will question the validity of the union.” Maud said.
“Who is your fiancé? Why would ponies question your union? The law is pretty liberal. You could marry a girl Griffin if you wanted to do so.” Twilight said.
“My fiancé is The Smooze. We met at the Grand Galloping Gala. We took a train together afterwards. We spoke much. We became close, and we fell in love. A few weeks ago The Smooze proposed and I said yes. The Smooze also wishes you to marry us.” Maud said.
“The Smooze can talk.” Twilight said shocked.
“Yes, but you must quiet your mind to hear his voice. To hear him sing is to be touched by heaven. His soul is like none other. I wept when I heard his song.” Maud said.
“Wow. This is a lot to take in. I can’t make this decision right away. Let’s just have breakfast for now. We’ll talk more later today. That would be best.” Twilight said.
“Agreed.” Maud replied.
When Maud and Twilight arrived at the kitchen Pinkie Pie and Spike were already hard at work preparing breakfast.
“We don’t have enough for just waffles, so we’ll have to stretch things out with ice cream and fruit.” Pinkie was saying as she sliced bananas and strawberries.
“Ice cream for breakfast. Twilight won’t like that.” Spike said.
“Oh, a little on the side is acceptable. Maud and I will head back down to the dining room. I won’t even ask how you two got here ahead of us.” Twilight said.
She and Maud turned around and headed to the dining room at a slow pace.
“Pinkie is something else. Isn’t she?” Twilight said.
“Pinkie is a mare.” Maud replied.
“Yes, and you are a grey mare in a grey dress, yet you tell me you want to marry The Smooze who is a green slime creature who eats gold to grow larger. Maud, I do not wish to offend you, but based solely off my own observations I am not entirely sure The Smooze is an entirely sapient being.” Twilight said.
“The Smooze has a temper, but he is making efforts to get it under control. He is ashamed of his outburst at the gala. Discord brings out the worst in him.” Maud said.
“So The Smooze isn’t just some wild creature that Discord was trying to pass off as a person.” Twilight said.
Maud’s face twisted in anger for a moment. “The Smooze is a better pony than Discord will ever be. It is only because Discord is a known liar that you doubt his story about the two of them knowing each other at University. Discord would not have graduated were it not for The Smooze. Discord would not have the skill he has today were it not for The Smooze. It was he who showed discord how to combine his simple illusions with real chaos. It broke The Smooze’s heart when he felt it necessary to guide Princess Celestia to the tree of Harmony and teach her how wield The Elements against his former schoolmate.” Maud said.
“Oh I am going to have to ask the Princess about that, but if what you say is true The Smooze is thousands of years old. Won’t the age difference be a bit of a problem?” Twilight asked.
“Some of my favourite rocks are billions of years old. We are all eye-blinks compared to them. This is how I see things.” Maud said.
“Have you told Pinkie? Have you told your parents?” Twilight asked.
“I meant to tell Pinkie this morning, but I have not had a chance. The Smooze and I will be headed to the rock farm after we leave here.” Maud said.
“So, The Smooze is coming here? Where are the two of you staying? It will be cramped if you both stay at Pinkie’s place. How about I put The Smooze up here in the castle? We have plenty of guest rooms.” Twilight said.
“That would be kind of you. I am sure The Smooze will be pleased to accept your offer.” Maud said.
“Wonderful.” Twilight replied. “I just hope he doesn’t try to eat the place.” Twilight muttered under her breath.
Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Maud and Pinkie Pie were digging into breakfast as they sat around the dining table when Maud made her announcement to the group.
“This is amazing. I love weddings. I’ll plan you the best reception ever. Will we all get to be bride’s maids? I have experience. You know?” Pinkie said.
“Of course, you and your friends will be bride’s maids. I would like Princess Twilight to conduct the ceremony, and I would like the ceremony to be held at Sweet Apple Acres.” Maud said.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I haven’t agreed to this yet. Pinkie, your sister wants to marry The Smooze, a magic resistant slime creature who is thousands of years old. Don’t you have any feelings about this?” Twilight said.
“Well, now that you mention it, our parents might insist he be a member of The Faith. Unless you think that just because I had a few dances with him that I liked him like that. He was sweet, but The Smooze just didn’t light my fire. There won’t be any jealousy issues.” Pinkie Pie said.
“That’s a relief.” Spike said. He licked his dragonite.
“Is that dragonite?” Twilight asked.
“Yep.” Spike replied he sucked on the stone with joy.
“Where did you get that? Dragonite is worth a thousand bits a kilogram.” Twilight asked.
“Maud Pie gave it to me. She has presents for everyone. Did you notice Pinkie’s necklace?” Spike said.
“I saw the necklace. It looks good on you, Pinkie. Maud, why did you give Spike such an expensive gift. Couldn’t you use the money?” Twilight said.
“Money isn’t really a problem for me. I’m good at budgeting. Besides, I discovered a dragonite mine, and I developed a technique to mine it effectively. I’m only selling a little at a time. If I sold all I had at once the market price would drop dramatically, and that might cause problems.” Maud said.
“How much do believe you can mine?” Twilight asked.
“Tonnes, but I don’t think I will mine all that much. I have other projects.” Maud said.
“But you could get rich.” Spike said.
“Money doesn’t interest me. I don’t need to be rich. The cost of living is low in Equestria. Ponies can survive off of a grass diet, and it grows everywhere. Clothing is optional, and sleeping under a tree or in a cave is nice.” Maud said.
“I’m a dragon. I like stuff. Where’s this mine? I’ll take the gems you don’t want.” Spike said.
“You’d move into the cave, and guard it until the supply of dragonite ran out. I doubt any pony would see you for the next century or so.” Maud said.
Spike shrugged. “Sounds like a normal part of the dragon lifecycle.” Spike said.
“If you wish to abandon your friends and grow up in a cave, I will show you the mine.” Maud said.
“Spike, no, I need you.” Twilight said.
Pinkie began to cry. She walked over to Spike and draped herself over him. “Don’t leave us. We will miss you.” She wailed.
Spike patted Pinkie on the head. “Alright, I’ll stay.” He said.
“Hooray!” Pinkie cried. “I can’t stay though. That is Maud and I need to go. Time is a wasting. We should go visit Applejack now if we want to talk to her about using the farm for the wedding. Big day planned. Come on, Sis. Let’s vamoose.” She said.
Maud stood up. “Thank you for breakfast. The Smooze is arriving on the morning train. I will bring him by then.” Maud said.
“We’ll be expecting you.” Twilight said.
“See you later, Twilight.” Pinkie said. She bounced out of the door.
Maud nodded at Twilight. “Spike, Princess Twilight, good day.” She cantered after her energetic younger sister.
Spike stood up. “Well, time to clear the table, and do the dishes.” He said.
“You see, this is why we need a staff. Some pony could do that for us.” Twilight said. She stood on her hind legs. “I need to start researching Equestrian marriage laws and customs right now.” Twilight waved her front legs in the air.
“Dramatic much.” Spike said. “You’ll feel better once all this is cleaned, dry, and put away.” Spike said.
“You’re right, Spike.” Twilight said. Her horn glowed. The dirty dishes disappeared from the table with a flash. “There, much better.” She said.
“That spell stinks. I always find pieces of food still stuck on the plates, and the knives and forks are never in the right place.” He said.
“We can always just move to the fields and graze like Maud suggested. Until then, to the library.” Twilight said.
“You took your pills this morning, right?” Spike said.
“Yes, Spike.”
“Just checking.” Spike said.
Twilight galloped off to the castle library. Three hours later or there abouts Spike strolled into the library. “I hope your research has been productive. I have got a lot done. Plenty of cleaning, and I have prepared a snack for elevenses. There’s no eating in the library as per your rules, so why don’t we go sit by that window you like?” Spike said.
“Alright.” Twilight said. She walked away from a pile of open books. In a few minutes, Twilight was sitting by her favourite window, and she was eating off of a silver tray filled with cheese and fruit slices. She sipped out of a goblet of fire berry juice. “Spike, this is terrific. I feel refreshed, but I am not certain I should marry Maud and The Smooze. Legally speaking any two beings who have been judged by their peers and the peers of the one they wish to marry as having sufficient wisdom and experience are allowed to marry.”
“Sounds complicated.” Spike says.
“It is, and it gets worse. The problem is Maud and The Smooze don’t want me to marry them legally. They want me to marry them religiously.” Twilight said.
“So you can forget about the legal stuff, and focus on religious studies.” Spike said.
“I can’t. Whatever civil servant signs and stamps Maud and The Smooze’s marriage certificate may only do so if I ask him or her to do so.” Twilight said.
“Won’t they go to the mayor?” Spike said.
“Yes, and when they do, I want to be able to advise her as the best course of action.” Twilight said.
“So, you might stand in their way.” Spike said.
“If I deem The Smooze to be a creature who is ineligible for marriage, yes, I will stand in their way. I know it sounds cruel, but I need to think of the good of Equestria. If laws have no boundaries, there is only chaos.” Twilight said.
“Yes, I am a fan of law and order myself. I do have my dragon code, so how do find out if Maud and The Smooze are sufficiently wise and experienced?” Spike said.
“I’m not sure yet. He’ll be here tomorrow. I should have some ideas after interacting with him more, so I have put things off because of this. What should I have been doing?” Twilight asked.
“You’re having lunch with Rarity and Fluttershy at twelve O five, but that’s just at the café down the road. You have time to get a start on the presentation you wish to prepare for tomorrow’s tour of the castle by Ms Cheerielee’s class.” Spike said.
“The class is coming tomorrow. The Smooze will be here tomorrow. This is bad.” Twilight said.
“Relax, while you conduct the tour, I will show The Smooze around Ponyville, or he might even be busy with Maud.” Spike said.
“You’re right, Spike. Now, let’s get to work. I think we should start the tour at the front door.” Twilight said.
“And we should end it with the Throne Room, but there are rooms we should leave out. The kids probably don’t want to see the wine cellar, and I don’t want anypony seeing my gem hoard.” Spike said.
“Your quarter of a meter high pile is hardly a hoard.” Twilight said.
“It is a work in progress.” Spike said.
“And so is this presentation. Let’s chop to it.” Twilight said. She used her magic to levitate a diagram of the Castle out of a drawer.