My name is Star Wisher, but all my friends call me Star, and I’m a unicorn. I don’t have much to say about myself other than that I am still waiting to get my cutie mark, and that I like to read comics. Lately I have been reading romantic comics, because well… They’re interesting. Because of this I think I’ve been thinking about girls more. Maybe I’m too young to be looking for a marefriend, but all the comics I read say that “Age is just a number” so maybe its fine? Well it’s not something I’m going to ask my parents about anyway, that'd be way too embarrassing.
I started reading romantic comics, because of my parents. They look so happy together that I felt a little jealous, not that I’d ever tell, but as I began to read comics I then began to feel jealous of the characters. There must be something wrong with me. After reading I often think about how fun it must be to have a marefriend. In comics it looks so nice and poetic.
Everyday is the same old routine, getting up from bed, I put on my scarf, I brush my teeth, then eat breakfast and it’s off to school. I only really like school because of my friends there, but if it weren’t for them I wouldn’t waste my time in such a boring place.
Waking up this morning I do my usual routine and walk up the dirt path leading to my school, I usually like to pony watch while i'm walking. I see all the vendors opening up their shops, I see other fillies and colts walking the same way I do up to the school, and I often see Princess Twilight walking around with Spike. Princess Twilight is the "Princess of Friendship" who lives in this town, but I don't really talk to her much, she is kinda... boring.
As I approach the school I see Ms. Cherilee outside the school door, not letting the class in for some reason. As I greet Ms. Cherilee, she returns the greeting and asks me a question she had seemingly asked every other classmate as approached the school. "Does anyone speak the Deer dialect?" Ms. Cherilee asks the class as they sit outside, awaiting to enter the school. With my foolishness as a young colt I ask if the critter dialect was close enough. That was not a smart thing for me to do, a lot of the others began to laugh, and I think Ms. Cherilee thought I was making fun of her question, because she began to glare at me. I really do speak a little bit of critter though... I have a lot of friends, but I always liked talking to critters, somehow I always felt some sort of special connection between myself and other animals.
Ignoring Ms. Cherilee's question I go off to the side to chat with my friends. Then I finally came to understand why Ms. Cherilee needed someone who could speak in a deer's dialect. There was a pretty female dear with white spots on her back inside the classroom, hiding behind Ms. Cherilee. Suddenly I felt a blow to my chest, for the first time I was instantly able to tell... I am experiencing love at first sight. This feeling is new to me. “Her name was Yin Yang”, Ms. Cherilee announced in a sing song voice, as the class awed, Yin Yang is a reddish brown deer. She was probably the prettiest girl I would know, or ever see!
“Alright every pony! Today we will be doing physical education! So you know what that means! Warm ups then a mile run!” Ms. Cherilee announced in glee as the class grumbled and complained. Normally I use physical education as time to chat with my friends as we trot, so I took my time, but now I just want to get it done so I can talk to Yin. School time flew by fast, I broke my mile run record thinking of what I should say to Yin, which is funny since as shy as I usually am around fillies, I currently don’t feel that shy right now thinking about talking to her. I never really liked mile runs, they weren't my strong point. Counting the clouds in the sky was more of my pace. School finally ending I trotted up to Yin hoping to have a conversation with her.
The comics I read always had the main character bump into the heroine, or in some cases knock them down by accident, but since I can’t do something on accident on purpose, I’ll have to try something more normal, like introducing myself to her. As I walk up to her I ask for her name as I introduced myself just as any normal pony would, but while talking to her I had suddenly realized that she herself barely had the ability to speak to us ponies, which is why my teacher needed a speaker. She was able to understand me... Well at least I think she was able to... She had trouble speaking to me, her voice was quiet and soft almost to the point I was unable to hear her. I perked up my ears and focused on her more than I did with any type of homework or class assignment I ever focused on.
“My name Yin Yang, Please call Yin. I am Everfree Forest, not here. New school here.” She must mean she is from the Everfree Forest, and that she is new to this school. Something about her dialect is pretty cute to me, it's not weird to like somepony outside your race right? After a 10 minute talk we instantly became friends, some sort of feeling enveloped my heart, some sort of achievement I hadn’t felt before.
Something about her just attracted me like a moth to a flame, a love that would probably kill me if I get to close, but always in sight and in my mind, alluring me. I had some extra time after school so I showed her around school, though there isn’t much to show... So I think I'll take her out to look at Ponyville. After all, this may be the best time to get closer to her. Surprisingly no pony else wanted to really talk to her as much as I did. Ms. Cherilee asked me to be “gentle” with her and giggled. A grown up giggling is never a good thing. I can only imagine she knows about my crush… Or maybe I’m thinking too much.
I never was good at talking to fillies, yet strangely enough I was talking to Yin with no problems, I was able to fully understand her, although her speech wasn’t really getting any better. I keep having these romantic thoughts in mind whenever I think of her... I wonder if this is healthy for my age. Over the course of a month we became best friends, I ate with her at lunch, introduced her to people so that she would have friends, and even walked with her after school into Ponyville, I never got to have her in my house though... Apparently her parents are fairly strict.
As we entered the second month of our friendship, I finally decided to confess my feeling to her. At first I thought I only really felt like I loved her because of her looks, but as I began to talk to her, and learn more about her I found that she was even cuter than I originally began to think. I know a great deal about her now too, I know her favorite foods, her favorite colors, animals, I know more about her than I do about Equestrian history... But then again, I’m not falling asleep when I’m learning about her, unlike class. I honestly feel like we have a strong bond between us.
Gathering my courage I confront her, suddenly at the thought of confessing my face lit up and heat started surging to my face. Asking her out face to face would probably cause me to die from an overworked heart. Yin had approached me after school so that we could walk home together. Something about her being beside me whilst I planned my confession, began to make me feel sick. So I did the noble thing and… Ran away from her… Screaming I might add. I didn't even look back at her when I ran. Looking back at it a lot of the characters in my comics had told me that the most romantic way I could confess my love was through a love letter, so I decided to write.
Hours began to pass as I wrote the letter, 1st draft, and 2nd draft… Then the 10th draft. Going back and forth between deciding to deliver the letter, having a friend do it, or just not doing it at all I finally decided to just sleep on it.
The next school day was the longest day ever. I gave it to her the letter as we walked home, and she thanked me for it, not knowing of the ticking time bomb that I had given her. I kept having negative and positive thoughts like, “Maybe she likes me! Maybe she doesn’t know what a love letter is! Oh god what if she rejects me?! I RUINED OUR FRIENDSHIP!" Thinking to myself, after a while I get so lost in thought I came to realize that I took the wrong path home, I almost wound up in the Everfree Forest, that would have been dangerous.
The next day while I had been talking to my friends I got my response, I wasn't expecting it so fast, but I was given a letter. My body began to shiver as I looked at the envelope, I looked at Yin and she just smiled at me, then walked off to talk to the friends I introduced her to. It was in a small envelope with a heart sticker on its back. Fear overwhelmed me, I had never done this before so I wasn't sure what to expect. However, the heart sticker put my heart at ease. After all, a heart on a letter could only mean that something good is going to happen right?
During lunch, I stayed inside the classroom unlike the other ponies that ate outside. Normally we HAVE to eat outside, but I pretended that I wasn't feeling well so Ms. Cherilee allowed me. After telling me to come out when I felt better, Ms. Cherilee went outside to watch over the colts and fillies, to make sure they behaved.
I opened the letter, and began to read. For the first time ever I had felt the heaviest feeling in my chest. A feeling I would surely remember for a long time. The handwriting in the letter is so adorable, for a deer that can’t speak in the pony dialect well, she sure writes really pretty. Her grammar had a lot to be desired, but I was able to decipher the message. Then it came to me, an apology was written in the letter. I never knew that an apology could be so painful, but there it was.
“Dear Star,
I Sorry… I can’t date. Family won’t allow it. I happy you feel such ways, but I can’t. I hope this no make you sad, yes? I treasure friendship for you and I. You are best friend, and I treasure you. Please be happy.
-Yours Truly, Yin
My first experience of total heartbreak ever and I began laughing at myself, I felt water coming to my eyes, but I bite my tongue, somehow the pain made me feel like the tears would stop flowing. I refuse to cry over a girl, something about it just makes me feel like I shouldn’t. My pride won’t allow it. How will I face her now? We go to the same school, I can’t just avoid her… No. If I really like her then I can get over this. I will just have to be happy that we are friends… Right?
School passed on slowly that day, when we got together to walk home after school I walked her home as if nothing happened, I felt a little better this way. Things weren’t so bad after all, I may not be able to be romantic with her like I want to, but I can still be friends with her. I smiled to myself, but I could feel a pain in my chest... Yin waved her hoof in my face,” You okay? Feel better now? My fault?” Yin asked.
I felt bad for worrying her, but in the midst of my sadness a thought came to me. Why should I worry her, and end our friendship because I made the mistake of having a crush on her? Yeah. That’s right, love can be a mistake right? After all so many ponies wouldn’t have broken up or gotten divorced if some loves were mistakes. So this love must be a mistake! Suddenly I felt as if I was going to cry again, but if I show her a sad face, she will be the one to feel sad... And I don't want that.
I began to talk to her, as if nothing had even happened, as if no letters ever existed, and she went back to smiling. However a bit of guilt was still biting at me, so I apologized to her if I made her uncomfortable, and thanked her for her fast reply. I don't know if that was the right thing to do, but it felt like it was. "It's just… CAN'T have coltfriend. Parents no let me." Yin stated with a sigh. Suddenly those words rang in my ears in slow motion ‘CAN’T’ meaning she isn’t allowed. Meaning… I look to Yin who had sunk her head after admitting to her parents strict behavior.
A thought came to my mind... "Does this mean she wants to... But can't?"