//------------------------------// // 01 - Hello, World. // Story: Distance Education // by 32ndArtbomb //------------------------------// One moment, I had been working at my lathe. The next, I felt a peculiar tugging sensation along the back of my skull and spine. It was like the feeling you get trying to hold a magnet just over surface of a sheet of steel, only your body is the steel and someone else is holding the magnet. Naturally, being a good machinist, I shut my lathe off. If this feeling was some sort of neurological disorder, I certainly didn’t want a machine capable of inflicting grotesquely fatal injuries running on the off chance I fell into it. Better odds of getting up to call the paramedics that way. I blinked, and I was elsewhere. A concrete-lined room with no windows, with all sorts of glowing alien iconography inlaid in the poured stone. I wasn’t in pain, but something seemed off. I felt like I was standing on my toes and fingertips, and my vision was oddly fisheyed... Adrenaline hit my bloodstream like liquid nitrogen, and I felt my heart hammering in my chest. I heard a rustle of feathers behind me, and somehow managed to look over my own shoulders without turning my head. There were wings behind me. Exquisitely plumed wings that shimmered like engraved, blued steel in the light. I traced them back to their roots with my eyes, and found a vaguely equine body attached to them. Okay. First rule, no panicking. That’s a quick trip to Injurytown, population Me. Time to take stock, then. Four legs, likely capped with hooves, and my vision was obscured somewhat on one side by a drape of hair that was the color of lightly-toasted bread or grain, or possibly a light brass. I could assume, by the sensation on the back of my thighs, that there was a similarly-colored tail attached to my ass. Oh, and I was naked in front of two creatures that I could only assume resembled me, and given the surroundings were very likely intelligent and responsible for my appearance here. So, as calmly as I could muster given my circumstances, I spoke. “Where am I?” Oh God, even my voice wasn’t the same. I shifted my balance slightly, afraid to try and walk for fear of becoming intimately familiar with the concrete, and a realization struck me upside the head with a lemon wrapped ‘round a gold brick when I noticed something was missing. Heedless of the potential for injury, I bent my neck to peer at my undercarriage, and was somewhat surprised to find out that I had enough flexibility to do so. Sure enough, something was in fact missing, and I straightened up “And while I’m at it, where’s my dick?” The slightly shorter, purple half of the pair looking at me opened her mouth. Then she blinked a few times, looked at her companion - who was absolutely owning the market for calm, serene smiles - then looked back at me. “...Your what?” “Dick.” I looked again, just to be sure it was gone. Yup. My gaze returned to the purple one. “Cock. Dong. Wang. Prick. Flesh flute. Third - well, in this case, fifth - leg. Heat-seeking moisture missile. One-eyed trouser snake. Pork sword.” With every euphemism, I could actually see the blush forming on her cheeks get deeper and deeper. “You know, the ol’ twig n’ berries, bedroom boomstick, joy rod, kickstand, lap rocket, love muscle-” “Your penis.” The white one finally spoke, though there was definitely an amused quirk to the corners of her mouth. “Are we to understand that you weren’t female before you were summoned here?” “If I was, it’s news to me.” I glanced at myself. Either I was hallucinating, or I was in the strangest Goddamn afterlife ever. “Pretty sure I wasn’t a horse, either.” “Pony. Horses are one of our distant ancestors.” The purple one seemed to take refuge in the simple act of correction. “We’re Equus Sapiens Aleph, they were Equus Ferus. The skeletal structures are broadly similar, but we diverged from them millions of years ago.” ...Or I was speaking to aliens. That was also a possibility. “As for where you are,” she continued, more than happy to ignore my earlier commentary, “that is going to take a moment to explain. Rather than transport you bodily across dimensions, the summoning spell I crafted made a duplicate of your mind and memories. The original intent was to also recreate your body, but it seems one or more of the physical laws of your universe is incompatible with our own, or the inverse is true, so the spell appears to have crafted a body for you based upon our own forms.” And it seemed they have magic. Which, given how my first thought upon seeing their horns - and the one jutting from my own head, don’t remind me - made me think of magical unicorns, made a certain amount of sense. I took a breath and pointedly ignored the continued hammering of my heartbeat in my ears. “So, if I’m understanding you right, the.. pony standing in front of you has the same memories and personality as a being that you non-destructively… scanned?” “That’s an accurate summary, yes.” I took another breath, focusing on one thing at a time. “And, from his perspective, all he would feel is the weird sensation of something tugging at his head and spine for a moment before it went away? No harm done?” “Hypothetically, yes.” And the adrenaline went away, replaced with a profound feeling of relief. I felt the wings on my back droop, and the strangest tingle of sensation as the their tips brushed the floor. I let out the breath I didn’t notice I was holding, and I smiled. “If I know myself, and I do, he’ll shrug it off if it never happens again.” The white one quirked a brow at me. “You seem to be taking this awfully well.” I tried to shrug with my eyebrows. “Not really much I can do about it, and I get the feeling I’m not the one with leverage here.” “Hm. A practical, reasonable, and adaptable mind.” She smiled at her companion. “Aside from the minor issue of mis-aligned physical gender, it seems your summoning has gone well.” “Certainly seems that way.” The purple one’s attitude brightened somewhat at the praise, though there was a definite rosy hue to her cheeks, and she turned to me. “Welcome to Equestria, and I am so sorry for the accidental gender reassignment. I hadn’t even considered how to handle that while writing the spell, and I suppose the magic itself felt it was simpler to model your body off of ours than to try and create a male version of either of us.” “No harm done. I’m still me, just in a different casing.” I just couldn’t stay upset at that face. But the way she was talking about magic and spells like they were everyday things, that was different. “So… Magic is actually a thing here?” “You didn’t have magic?” From the look on her face, it was like I’d just said I was used to breathing wood and eating babies. “But how did that platform get on the moon?” The white half of the pair looked at her companion with no small measure of concern. “Are you okay, Twilight?” “The spell dragged me along with it during its search, the way a find-it-fast cantrip does, only on a much broader scale. I’d incorporated elements of that working into my search methodology, but I hadn’t expected the same visual feedback.” Twilight, as she’d been named, pointed a hoof at me. “I saw their world, Celestia. Not from the surface, but from its moon, and there was a clearly artificial structure on the moon there with me.” My jaw went a little bit slack, and I couldn’t do anything to keep the tone of reverence out of my voice. “If I’m understanding you right, you saw one of the Apollo landing sites. There were six of them over the course of the entire Apollo mission program. Apollo Eleven, Twelve, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, and Seventeen all set down on the moon, and they all left something that could be described as a platform behind.” I couldn’t keep myself from smiling, even if I wanted to. “You are one lucky pony, Twilight. You saw something that only twelve out of seven billion people have ever seen.” Both of them stared at me, but Twilight recovered first. “Your species visited your own moon, without magic?” “Unless you count basic chemistry and orbital mechanics as magic, then yes.” Twilight’s eyes went wide, and she turned her attention to her compatriot. “Do you have any objections to lowering the protective enchantments?” “None of any consequence.” It seemed the white pony with the weirdly-billowing mane, Celestia, was just as impressed as Twilight was. “You were quite correct, there is much we have yet to learn as a species, and this seems to have been a remarkably efficient way to discover those gaps in our knowledge.” Twilight virtually exploded into motion, rushing around the edges of the room and touching her horn to various glyphs and sigils embedded in the walls and floor, until she was just outside of what I estimated my new wingspan was. There, she paused and met my eyes. “If you do anything to endanger Equestria, its citizens, or our world?” There was strength beyond measure behind her voice, the calm assurance that she would follow through on whatever she said if I wronged her. “My sisters and I will not hesitate to end your life. Do you understand what I have just told you?” “Yes, ma’am.” I nodded, just once. Who the hell would I be to argue with a being that, by all accounts, had just made a copy of me without any regard for the boundaries of space and time as I knew them? “And while we’re being honest with each other, I was wondering when you were going to say something like that. I can understand why. I’m a mountain of unknowns, and you’re taking a big risk.” I sketched out a very shaky bow, unfamiliar muscles trembling as I struggled to maintain my balance. “I swear, on penalty of death, that I bear no ill will towards you, your people, or your planet. Should you decide I am an existential threat, I will gladly face your judgement without protest.” In the background, I noticed both of the white pony’s eyebrows crawl towards her horn. Then there was a flicker of light from Twilight’s horn, and the air  around me shimmered like a soap bubble. “We shall hold you to that oath.” Twilight offered me a calm smile, the sort you expect to see on the face of someone put in a bad position due to circumstance. “Not out of malice or spite, but caution. As you said, you are a risk, though your willingness to cooperate is a pleasant surprise. You aren’t a prisoner, merely a pony of extreme interest.” I was in the middle of the delicate process of straightening back into a standing position when biology decided to inform me that just because I had changed species was no reason to stop what it had been doing all my life. I imagine the look on my face went from concentration to sheer embarrassment in the blink of an eye. “That’s, uh, that’s nice. Better than I expected, really. But before anything else, may I ask a question?” “Of course.” “Is there a bathroom nearby, and could I trouble either of you for assistance to get there?” I just sort of glanced at myself and tried to look sheepish. “I’m not naturally a quadruped, this extra-wide visual field is disorienting the hell out of me, and I really don’t want to trip all over myself in this condition.” I could almost swear I heard Celestia giggle, and I know I saw her horn light up. Gentle bands of pressure wrapped around my legs, and when I looked down I saw ethereal golden braces around my limbs. “I’ll take care of this, sister. I’m sure you’re eager to write your notes while they’re fresh in your mind.” At the mention of note-taking, Twilight’s eyes lit up and she… Well, she quite literally disappeared in a flash of light. I counted myself lucky that I had reached the point where nothing could startle me, or else my request for assistance might have been rendered moot. So, I turned my attention to Celestia. “How is this going to work? Are you going to move my legs for me, or are those just going to keep me from tripping?” “A little bit of both, if you must know. I learned the spell while I was brushing up on my physical therapy training.” She crossed the room with a smile and stood next to me, just close enough for her to drape a wing across my back to keep me stable. “If you reach the point you can’t hold it, just tell me. I’ll get you to a shower.” I glanced over at her as I took a tentative step forward. I wobbled a bit, but sure enough, the braces and that stabilizing wing across my back were enough to keep me from making out with the concrete. “Most nurses where I come from don’t wear fancy jewelry like yours, ma’am.” I set my mind to the task of learning to walk as I spoke. “I’ll admit, it might be different here, but you don’t strike me as just a nurse…” “Oh, nursing is just a hobby of mine. I like helping ponies, and I always have, but my real job isn’t specifically in healthcare.” I nodded, a bit preoccupied with managing two extra limbs and two brand-new limbs to speak, and she continued. “My sisters and I are heads of state.” “I’ve never met a politician I can tolerate for this long. Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.” I snorted, still carefully setting one… hoof in front of the other. “Is the jewelry some kind of magical protective gear for scientists? Ceremonial, maybe?” Okay, that got her to giggle. “Ceremonial, yes. Even without it, I am still Princess Celestia, and I can and often do raise the sun in the morning without wearing any of the trappings of my office.” “Really? You’re a princess? And you raise the sun every morning? Now I know you’re stringing me along.” I smiled as we entered the hallway outside the lab I had been… well, the lab I’d been summoned in. “Next thing I know, you’ll be telling me how pretty your wings are or something.” That earned me a pop on the back of the head. “Are you saying my wings aren’t pretty?” Oh my lord, she even stuck her tongue out. “Maybe in the right lighting they could be, but proper lighting conditions can make anything look good.” I’ll admit, I was taking a risk talking back to my impromptu caretaker like this, but I’ve always believed in taking refuge in audacity. “But nothing can really beat the shine of properly blued steel, no matter what the lighting, and given the nature of my plumage? I’ll just bet my wings are prettier than yours.” “Kind of hard to judge when they’re tucked up against your barrel like that. Oh, sorry, my mistake.” She grinned a trickster’s grin, “You don’t know how to move them yet.” “You don’t need to rub it in, sunbutt.” Well, that caught her off guard. She spluttered, somewhere between righteous indignation and uproarious laughter, and I continued. “Yeah, I might have only gotten them a few minutes ago, and I might still think this is all awfully freakin’ weird to say out loud, but I still think my wings are prettier than yours.” I grinned a bit wider. “It’s okay, though. The newer models always look better than the ones that came before. Iterative design just works like that. It’s nothing personal. Can we still be friends?” Apparently, Celestia had decided on the laughter option. She wiped at her eyes with a hoof as we walked. “Oh, of course, of course. This is a fantastic start to a friendship, if Twilight has taught me anything about the subject.” She smiled, relaxed and easily comfortable. “It has been far too long since anypony has been so candid with me, particularly on a first meeting, and here I am not even knowing your name. Twilight has doubtlessly already recorded you as ‘subject alpha’ or some other sort of scientific nonsense, but that’s less a name than it is a file number.” Hm. That was a good question. Technically, while I may have the same personality and memories as the man I remember being, I was still someone new. “I don’t feel it’s right to use the name I remember having, to continue my habit of honesty.” I frowned, ever so slightly. “I would ask you for suggestions, but I suspect you’d take advantage of the offer to get back at me for the crack earlier.” “And you’d be correct.” Celestia smiled like the world was the most enjoyable play she’d ever witnessed, and then gestured at a push-door with an iconograph sign on it along the wall. “We’re here. The facilities ought to be easy enough to figure out, but if you have any questions, I’ll be right here.” “You’re not coming in with me?” I frowned a bit deeper. “Can you maintain the braces without line of sight, then?” “I haven’t been maintaining them since we left the lab, my not-so-little pony.” Celestia winked at me. “You’ve been walking just fine on your own. You’ll be fine, so long as you don’t think of your body as an overly complicated piece of machinery.” I glanced down at my legs, and sure enough I was unencumbered by magical constructs. “Huh. Well, alright then.” I returned my attention to the door, thought for a moment about how I would approach the problem, and then biology issued a red alert. I abandoned my plans of calmly walking into the bathroom and instead lunged for the door, blindly trusting my limbs to not tangle themselves into each other, and made for the nearest stall before all hope was lost. I will state only the facts surrounding my first experience using an Equestrian restroom. The room itself was clean, well-lit, and pleasantly designed. Quieter than I would expect a room done in mostly hard surfaces to be, too. The fixtures I used were quite functional, as well as ergonomic and pleasant to look at. A model restroom if ever there was one, in my opinion. There was only one hiccup, and it was one of procedure rather than design. I, quite literally, did not know how to wipe my own ass. I came out of the experience with a basic grasp of, and fine appreciation for, the glorious skill that is applied telekinesis. This is not a terrible thing by any stretch of the imagination, but it came at a cost to my dignity, and that particular commodity was in short supply. “I don’t know about you,” I grumbled as Celestia led me back into the hall, “but I would like it if we never spoke of this again.” “I can understand your embarrassment. Most adult patients at the hospitals I’ve volunteered in are the same way.” Celestia smiled over her shoulder at me, the very picture of an understanding authority figure. “You’re an adult, but the body you find yourself in is different from the one you grew up learning to use, and now you have to learn all the annoying little things related to maintaining a clean and healthy body all over again.” I tossed my head to get a bit of… mane out of my eyes, and glared at the offending lock when it slid right back into place. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the help, I’d just prefer to put it behind me.” “Of course.” God, her smile was infuriating. Or maybe I was still grouchy about having asked for her help. “Have you given any thought to the matter of your name?” “Only that I want it to reflect who I am, not who I was.” I snorted, and was quietly amused at just how similar the noise sounded to that of the horses I was used to. “But all that I can think of are various alternative and historical names for different kinds of metals. One of the hazards of being a machinist, I suppose. Spend so much time thinking about metals and their properties, and the mind defaults to that train of thought.” “Is there a particular reason one of those names wouldn’t be suitable?” I sighed and let my head droop a bit. “They’re names associated with things, not people. When was the last time you met someone named after a thing?” “Just the other day, actually.” One of my eyebrows crawled up my forehead as Celestia spoke. “I was interviewing applicants for the Royal Guard’s armorer position, and one of them was an enthusiastic young pegasus named Silver Wing.” “Well…” It feels damned weird to furrow your brow when there’s a horn sticking out of your skull. “Huh. Unimaginative parents, or are your naming conventions looser than the ones I’m used to?” “The latter, I would imagine.” Celestia didn’t even flinch. Apparently, I’d have to step up my game to reliably get a reaction out of her. “And ponies throughout history have petitioned the government for an official name-change, if they feel the one they were given doesn’t suit them. It happens quite frequently.” “Well, in that case-” I tried to shrug, only to feel the decidedly odd sensation of my new wings twitching against my sides. Then I tried to shrug again, and got the same result. “Huh. That’s different.” “Hm?” Celestia glanced over her shoulder at me. “Have you had some variety of life-altering revelation as to the nature of the universe you find yourself in?” I made another attempt to roll my shoulders, paying particular attention to how I moved compared to what I was trying to do, and there was a faint rustle of feathers as my wings shifted against my sides. I could even feel a bit of sensation from them. “I guess you could say that.” “I see.” The corners of Celestia’s eyes crinkled slightly, but that was the only sign of her smile. “When should I expect the wing-measuring challenge?” I snorted again. “You know you’d lose.” “Ah, the folly of youth. You’ll figure things out in time.” She smiled, so calm and serene and ridiculously punchable. “I suspect you had a revelation of some kind concerning your name, prior to that?” “Right, right.” I peered at my wings. I mean, okay, it’s weird that I’m apparently a sentient technicolor pony now, and it might seem like I’m taking it well? But no, I’m just really good at ignoring things. The matter of having my mind duplicated and transferred to what I had been led to believe was an entirely different universe was just slightly more concerning than the fact that my body plan had been so radically altered. “Names. If your culture’s got such loose conventions surrounding names, then how about Ferrum Veritas? It’s just a couple of words I picked up from a dead language I learned as a hobby, but it’ll do as a name.” That got a raised eyebrow, and we walked in silence for a while. I used the time to experiment with moving my wings around, and had just figured out the basics of extension and retraction when Celestia spoke again. “Is there a reason why you chose that as your name?” “I am, or at least was, a metalworker by trade.” I smirked. “And telling the truth is important to me.” If I was reading her right, the small nod of her head seemed to indicate she was satisfied with that answer. “Welcome to Equestria, Princess Ferrum.” I stumbled. Okay, okay. I caught the tip of a hoof in the carpet and tried to compensate by putting too much force into my next step, which led to that hoof sliding out from under me. Thus unbalanced, my rear hooves shot out from underneath me, and there was a sound not entirely unlike dropping a rolled-up carpet from shoulder height as I hit the floor. Happy? “Oh dear, I didn’t anticipate that reaction.” Celestia was standing over me immediately, clearly concerned with what just happened. “Are you hurt?” “Did… I…” I ignored the bruises I could feel forming along my side in favor of trying to spit something other than word salad from my mouth. “Princess?” “Let’s get you back up first, hm?” Celestia lit her horn, and a faint glow wrapped around me. Without a single bit of effort, I was floated into the air and carefully set down on my hooves again. I didn’t flinch as my weight settled, and that golden glow faded away. “Do you feel any pain?” She had the right idea. I’d just fallen pretty hard onto what I can assure the reader was not a soft surface. I shoved the panic onto the back burner and did my best to try and flex everything, only to wince a bit as the wing I landed on shifted around. “A little. Probably just bruising, but if these are as delicate as the ones I’m used to seeing on birds…” “They’re not, but I can understand your concern. Let’s have a look at you.” Her horn lit again, and this time the glow of her telekinetic field only wrapped around the wing I was worried about. Have I said how weird it is to have wings? Yeah, imagine how much weirder it is when someone else is manipulating them to see if they’ve been damaged. After a few moments, she smiled and eased the appendage into its folded position. “A few broken leading feathers and some bruised muscles. You’ll be sore for a few days, and if you knew how to fly you’d be grounded until you shed the damaged plumes, but it’s nothing to worry about.” Okay, basically a badly scraped knee. Good. I could let the panic come back, but I wouldn’t let it rule me. Instead, I was going to use it as fuel. Sure, the Sith are a fictional organization, but they had some good ideas regarding anger management. So I took a deep breath, blew it out my nose, and met Celestia’s eyes. “You referred to me as a princess. Was that a joke, or does leadership work that way here?” My tone of voice was calm, conversational, and polite. The words that came out of my mouth… Well, I wasn’t planning on having them match those criteria. “After all, I’m still learning how to do everything, up to and including wiping my own ass. I’d like to remind you that I’m an alien - not just from another planet, another dimension - and I’ve been stuck into a body that is so radically different from my own that I might as well be a jumbo-sized newborn that can walk and talk. And you, joking or not, casually throw a title at me that I associate with being a member of the ruling class? Do you think this is a game? Am I only here to amuse you? ‘Oh, let’s make a copy of an alien species we don’t know anything about and see how it reacts to becoming one of us! Won’t that be a laugh! Come, sister! Let us poke it with sticks to see how it responds to outside stimulus!’” Call me butter, ‘cause I was on a roll. “You’ve ripped me from the world I was born into, dropped my mind into the body of a species I know nothing about, and on top of that you seem to be completely and utterly unconcerned with the psychological repercussions of such a sudden change of gender - not to mention the compounding effects of a radical change of species. I’m not some new and exotic thing you can keep as a pet or use as a toy, sunbutt, and if I think for one moment that I am being used as just that? I will gladly violate the oath I made to Twilight in order to remove myself from this universe in the most expedient and damaging way possible.” “I assure you, I-” I cut her off. “Before you say anything, ask yourself this. Do I look like someone who has anything to lose?” I didn’t even glare at her. I just pulled the emotion from my face and stared into her eyes. “Because, as the history of my species has shown, the most dangerous thing is someone with nothing left to lose, and I would hate myself if I had to demonstrate why.” For several seconds, the hallway was so quiet you could have heard a gnat fart. Finally, Celestia spoke. “I apologize if I overstepped the bounds of humor in an effort to help you adjust to your new life. It was never my intention to make light of your situation in a damaging fashion, and you have my word that I will assist you in settling into your life here.” Then I felt a wave of heat wash over me, so intense I had to squint to focus on Celestia through the sudden haze surrounding her. “However, you are a guest in this realm, and I expect you to behave as such.” And as suddenly as it had appeared, the heat was gone. “Do we have an understanding?” Okay. Mental note. Do not taunt happy fun sunhorse. I swallowed. “I don’t hurt your people, you don’t find out what my autoignition temperature is?” “Crude, but ultimately correct.” “Then I do believe we have an understanding.” I took another deep breath. Not to focus myself for another ragegasm, but to try and fight off the adrenaline. Again. “In all seriousness, though. Why did you call me ‘princess’?” “You are an alicorn, are you not?” At my look of incomprehension, she sighed. “Regardless of your personal feelings on the matter, you are a pony with traits from all three races. Unicorn, pegasus, and terallion - though the last are more commonly known as earth ponies. You have magic, flight, and an intimate connection to the physical world.” “And… How does that make me qualified to be a head of state?” “Alicorns have an instinctive urge to care for the other races. We are not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but we do tend to act with the best interests of the herd in mind.” She was interrupted by a gurgle from my stomach, and she gestured down the hall with her horn. “Come, I can answer your questions while we find somewhere to dine. I only ask that you refrain from sharing your true nature with anypony who is not an alicorn like ourselves. At least, until we can arrange a temporary escort for you.” At the mention of food, I felt myself salivate, and I became acutely aware of a gnawing hunger in my gut, and I followed along beside Celestia. “So because I’ve got wings and a horn, I could run for office and likely win just due to what I am?” “If for some reason my sisters and I declined to coronate you, that is quite likely.” Celestia’s smile, much like the Mona Lisa’s, was enigmatic and full of meaning I couldn’t figure out. “Despite your earlier outburst, I believe you would make a lovely princess. You have displayed several of the qualities I respect in those who rule, as rough as they happen to be in your case.” Great. Guess I’m gonna be a pretty little pony princess, then. “If you say so.” “I certainly do, Princess Ferrum.” This time I only stumbled a little, but only because I decided to aim for a wall rather than the floor. I flicked my uninjured wing a bit, trying to brush plaster dust off my coat. “You did that on purpose.” “Indeed. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had somepony who reacts so delightfully to a battle of wits.” Celestia’s smile widened into something warm and welcoming. “I suspect you will either get along swimmingly with Luna, or she will repeatedly threaten to have you publicly executed for your… What would she call it? Ah, yes. Your ‘disrespectful tongue.’” “Joy.” I deadpanned, but I couldn’t keep my face straight for long, and I found myself smiling back at her. “I’ll try to make a good impression, really. On another subject, if you don’t mind?” She nodded as we came to what looked for all the world like an elevator door, and it slid open. Fortunately, it was large enough for the two of us to fit without jostling on the way in and out. “Food. Specifically, what can I eat?” “Our diets are primarily vegetarian.” She picked up on my arched eyebrow as she flipped a switch on the control panel with her telekinesis. “Is this a problem?” “Psychological.” I felt the telltale lurch of acceleration as the elevator activated. “I’m used to being an omnivore.” “Ah. Then you should be pleased to know that we do consume some animal protein. Primarily fish and unfertilized avian eggs, though some ponies on the borders do find gryphon cuisine and its reliance on large cuts of cooked muscle tissue more to their liking.” I frowned in thought. “Would there be any issue if I asked for something like that? I wouldn’t want to frighten the kitchen staff.” “The castle staff are all consummate professionals, Ferrum.” The elevator slowed to a stop and the doors slid open, and Celestia led the way. This time, instead of what looked like cheap painted drywall, the surroundings were more in line with what I would expect from a high-end hotel. “If I were to request a whole-roasted pig, or even a cow, the head chef would do little more than raise an eyebrow and quietly suspect I was throwing a surprise party for a large flock of gryphon dignitaries.” Or a castle. Yeah, I could see this hallway belonging in a castle. High ceilings, stained-glass abstracts for windows… Oh, and other ponies. Much smaller ponies, actually. “That does make a certain amount of sense, I suppose.” I noticed that we - or rather, I - was gathering attention from the guards and various functionaries we were passing. “If I might exhibit more of my blunt personality, ma’am, why is everyone staring at me?” “You are the fifth alicorn they know of. The last ascension to happen in recent memory was Princess Twilight’s, and that was twenty years ago.” Celestia’s voice was level, even slightly amused. “And on top of that, you have no cutie mark and nopony recognizes your colors. Like it or not, Ferrum, you are something of a novelty.” “Hm.” I continued along in silence for a few moments, hoping the lack of expression on my face wouldn’t be seen as anger, then spoke again. “I suspect you would appreciate it if I were to tread carefully?” “Very much so, yes.” Celestia’s horn lit, and a faint buzz filled my ears. “Privacy spell, sound dampening and visual blur. We may speak freely. My sisters and I will assist in building a cover identity for you. I believe an orphan would be a good start, as it’s well known that Luna donates much of her stipend to such charities and your coat is quite similar to hers. There is nothing to say that she hasn’t groomed a student of her own out of the public eye, and that her time came sooner than expected.” “No.” I shook my head, ignoring the mention of spells and magic and so on. “Build from the truth, if you have no choice but to lie.” “Oh? And how would you suggest we do that?” “Broad strokes?” I flinched a bit as I rustled my wings. Stupid shrug reflex. “Traveler from another world much like this one, stranded here by an unforeseen twist of fate, willing to dedicate her life to the society she’s found herself in. That way if anyone does find out the truth, it’s seen as a simple polish job instead of an outright fabrication.” Celestia raised an eyebrow at me and smiled. “And you thought you weren’t qualified to be a head of state.” “Politicians where I’m from might be slime, but they’re very crafty slime.” I smirked. “Had to learn some of their tricks, if just to see through them.” “A fair point indeed. We can work with the outline you’ve provided.” The buzz in my ears went away as Celestia’s horn went out, and we approached a reasonably sized set of double doors. Celestia’s attention turned to the guards at the door. “Please inform Princesses Twilight and Luna that my companion and I are taking our dinner here. Only they and our trusted kitchen staff may enter.” Without a word, the pegasus on one side of the door nodded and took to the air, while the unicorn on station lit his horn and pushed the doors open for us. I don’t know what I was expecting, but professionalism to that degree wasn’t it, and I kept my mouth shut as Celestia led me into the dining room. It was… Cozy, I suppose is the best word. There was a small dining table at one end, and the opposite end of the room was home to a few bookshelves and a small collection of pillows roughly the size of couches. Sure, trying to hold a banquet in a room this small would be problematic, but for a small meeting over a meal between a handful of ponies? It seemed about the right size. “Huh.” “Yes, Ferrum?” “Just appreciating the design, ma’am.” I walked in a slow, small circle to take in the room, nodding a bit. “There’s places where it reminds me of home, if a bit fancier than I’m used to, but that just makes the differences stand out more.” Celestia opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a strobe-light flash that left Twilight standing between us. “Sorry I’m late, I was still working on my notes. Has she given a name yet?” A second flash of light, brighter than the one that had heralded Twilight’s arrival, cut me off. In its place was a third alicorn, roughly my height, with a dusty royal blue coat and a mane that acted much like Celestia’s. Fortunately, her back was to me. “I apologize for the delay, but there was one noble who simply would not leave me be after my arrival. Thou both understand that I do so enjoy our meals together, and would not normally tarry in such a manner, but it would have been seen poorly had I ordered him forcibly removed from my presence.” She ruffled her wings, and I saw the faint hints of a smile affecting her jaw. “Has a meal been decided upon in my absence?” “It hasn’t, Luna. However, before we move on,” Celestia’s gaze met my own, and I immediately saw what she was doing. “I would like to introduce you to a traveler that Twilight and I met this evening.” “A traveler? Why, how novel! Perhaps the bardic traditions are not as dead as I suspected they were!” Luna certainly seemed to be amused by the idea as she turned… Then she saw me, and her face fell. “Sister… This is an alicorn.” “Yes, she is.” There was a twinkle in Celestia’s eyes, and I could tell Twilight was doing everything in her power not to giggle. No, seriously. There was a shimmer of light around her horn, and while I could see her laughing? I couldn’t hear a thing. “Princess Luna Noctis, Guardian of Dreams and the Innocent, Protectress of the Eastern Wilds, and sister I hold dearest, I present to you Ferrum Veritas.” The temperature of the room dropped at least ten degrees in an instant, and I saw frost patterns forming on the polished oak table. Then I noticed Luna’s gaze boring into me, and I felt like someone was slowly tapping an icicle into my heart. “Is this one of your pranks, sister? Thou are well aware of how poorly I have reacted to your more ambitious plots in the past, but this is very close to crossing the border between humorous and painful.” Twilight, to her credit, sobered up immediately. Her horn went out, and she trotted into Luna’s field of view. “Luna, do you remember the summoning spell I was working on in my spare time? The one I was going to use to find an entity that could help us learn more about the universe we live in? Well, this is who it came up with.” Luna’s eyes went pure, silvery white at this, and her horn lit with a glow that reminded me of cherenkov radiation. An instant later, I felt a vice tighten around my throat and drag me into the air. “Defiler. Liar. Poisoner. Foal-killer. We have a great many names for thee, Nightmare, and We shall feed them all to thee on salted iron before thou art finally extinguished.” I tried to claw at the construct around my throat with my hooves, but… Well, you can imagine how that worked out for me. “Cease thine struggles, wretch. Thou-” “Princess Luna Noctis.” The words were like a thunderclap in the small room, and it distracted Luna enough for her to loosen her grip on my throat. I took a great heaving breath, and color started returning to my world. I missed you, color. Please stay. We’ll have such fun times together, you and I. Celestia cleared her throat as she stepped between Luna and myself. “Under penalty of banishment, you have my word that this pony is not the entity you have accused her of being. The color of her coat and plumage is nothing but an unfortunate coincidence. Please, set her down.” For a moment, it looked as if Luna was going to object. Then the moonlight in her eyes vanished, the tension left her, and the vice around my throat dissipated into a gentle full-body cradle. There was a soft click as my hooves touched down, and Luna spoke. The rage from before was gone, and I could feel the room warming again. “You have my deepest and humblest apologies, Miss Veritas. You are a guest in our home, and I was gravely overstepping my authority.” She looked… Almost timid, provided you overlooked the fact that she had been choking the life out of me not thirty seconds ago. “I would very much like to know you better, if you feel such a thing is possible after my outburst.” “Anything is possible.” I coughed and rubbed awkwardly at my throat with a hoof. “This particular thing you’re asking for is contingent on your answer to one request.” This got Celestia and Twilight to look at me with something akin to shock, but Luna simply nodded. “Name the price of your forgiveness, and I shall happily pay it.” Well, that went far better than I expected. I quickly demonstrated to the three mares in the room that I have clearly never been introduced to the concept of a poker face, and I suspect I was showing a few too many teeth in my grin to be considered entirely sane. “You’re willing to let me name the price of my forgiveness?” “Of course. I threatened you with a painful and lingering death that was entirely unwarranted, and I wish to make amends.” I continued grinning, dredging up half-memories of old folklore as I ran my mouth. What the hell, let’s try a hail mary. “I ask you a second time, Princess Luna. Are you certain that you are willing to pay this price?” That got her to raise an eyebrow at me. “My personal treasury should be more than adequate to meet any request you make, and my own abilities are well in excess of most ponies that are currently living in our realm.” Time for the kicker. “A third and final question, Princess. Are you willing to abide the cost of whatever I name to be my price of forgiveness?” Clearly, Luna was expecting something far more direct than what I had in mind. She lingered over the decision for a few moments, then she nodded. “Yes, and I do applaud your use of the old forms, as poorly executed as they were.” There was a smile on her face. “Name your price, you clever mare.” Well. That was an interesting coincidence of mythology and reality. Glad it worked in my favor. “I wish to strike you a single time, as hard as I can, at the time and place of my choosing.” I grinned incrementally wider. “With no repercussions from you or any of your associates.” Luna stood there for a moment. Then, slowly, her smile melted into a grin. “Well played and well met, Ferrum Veritas. I look forward to the moment when you claim your due.” “Wait.” Twilight glanced between the two of us. “What just happened?” “‘Tis an old but fair form of settling debts of honor, Twilight. Having agreed thrice to abide the terms offered, I have little choice but to accept them or be disgraced.” Luna smiled, clearly enjoying where the conversation had gone from where it started. “How a summoned being would know of our traditions is concerning, but I trust the judgement of our older sister.” Alright, I couldn’t help myself. “You think I knew what I was doing?” I shook my head and laughed. “With all due respect, ladies? You terrify me, and I’m as surprised that ploy worked as you are that I thought to use it.” “Truly?” Luna’s eyes twinkled. “Then perhaps we can renegotiate terms?” “If I didn’t suspect you’d turn me into paste, I’d demand satisfaction for insulting my intelligence like that.” I shook my head again, still grinning like a fool, only for my stomach to remind me that I had yet to be fed. “Sorry, Princess. You made a deal and admitted its validity before you knew I had no idea it would work. You’re stuck with it.” There was a light giggle from the darkest of the three princesses. “I suppose I am. Shall we dine?” My mouth got away from me. “I sure hope so. I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.” There was a crash from behind me, and I turned to look. Apparently, my timing could stand for improvement. One of the kitchen staff had just entered the room, and had been carrying something when I shot my mouth off. Now the poor mare looked terrified, and there was a stainless steel tray and a small army’s worth of finger foods on the floor. “Er, metaphorically.” I tried my best to look innocent, but that only seemed to scare her more. “Look, ah, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a saying…” Celestia spoke up, just as calm and serene as anyone could want. “Oh, miss Sweet. I’m sorry if our guest frightened you, but she genuinely wasn’t trying to frighten anypony. You see…” And she launched into a lightly-sanitized version of who I was and where I came from. Really, the only things Celestia didn’t mention were the gender confusion, the bathroom adventure, the various exchanges of threats, and the case of mistaken identity on Luna’s part. And, y’know, I completely understood their omission. I, meanwhile, was being given an eight-credit-hour graded course from Professor Twilight on which set of silverware was for which dish in the space of about two minutes. Right about the time the last of the lecture was leaking out of my ears, Celestia was finishing up her monologue. “You see, Caramel? She’s just like any other diplomat from a foreign land. Some of the things she says might sound odd, or even frightening, but there’s no malice behind them. They’re just things that her culture says for one reason or another, and they stopped considering the origins of the phrase long ago.” Celestia took a seat across from me, and I had the good sense to try and look a little bashful. “The only difference, really, is how far away her home culture is.” There was a tentative nod from the young mare. “I suppose you have a point, but I’m still sorry about the sandwiches. I would’ve expected a phrase like that from a gryphon or a sphinx, but from a pony? It was a bit startling, and I guess I just forgot to hold on to the tray.” “And that’s perfectly understandable, Caramel.” Yeah, they saw Celestia as a mother figure alright. “In fact, I think the only other time you’ve dropped something was…” The terallion hostess hung her head in resignation. “My first day, when I tripped and spilled a carafe full of hot cocoa down your back.” “And that was what prompted me to start using chocolate-scented bathing products. I simply hadn’t realized I enjoyed the smell so much until then. You see? Mistakes are how we all learn new things.” Celestia smiled. “ And speaking of learning new things, I think I’d love to learn what our head chef has come up with this evening. Could I trouble you for menus?” And with that, menus were handed out, orders were jotted down, and special requests were made. Twilight blanched slightly when I asked for a small cut of whatever meat the chef thought would go best with my meal, while Luna raised an eyebrow and made the same request. I was going to have my work cut out with that one. The three alicorns I found myself sharing a table with were content to converse among themselves as Caramel Sweet left, and I’ll gladly admit that I tuned it out. I didn’t have the context to understand even a quarter of the things they were talking about, and on top of that, it seemed to revolve around local politics. Which, as you probably already guessed, I knew nothing about. It was actually sort of relaxing. I had a rough idea of where I stood in relation to the world around me, I didn’t need to use the bathroom - and if I did, I could make it through that particular trial without assistance now, and nobody was threatening my life. I mean sure, I was a technicolor pony now, but in the grand scheme of things? I was still me. ...Right? For better or worse, my reverie was broken by the arrival of our meals. Salads and soups all around, and small cuts of some kind of red meat for Luna and myself. I made it a point not to show too many teeth when Caramel Sweet came around with my plate, which I think might have helped smooth things over… But the enthusiasm I turned to the task of consuming my steak probably cancelled it out. Oh, that steak. That steak deserves a national holiday all its own, honoring its valiant sacrifice in the name of sating my hunger. It was seared and seasoned to perfection, just the right shade of pink in the middle, and even though I didn’t have the same array of dental hardware I was used to? It still melted in my mouth, with barely any chewing needed. It was, in the most classical sense of the phrase, awe-inspiring. And then it was gone. I shall remember you fondly, steak. You were delicious to the very end, and your sacrifice was not made in vain. Then I noticed the looks I was getting; Quiet amusement from Celestia, blatant amusement from Luna, and a mix of fascination and horror from Twilight. I opened my mouth to fire off something to the effect of ‘What, never seen someone enjoy a steak before?’, but what came out instead was a belch best described as gnarly. I’m pretty sure that if it had gone off right next to someone, it would’ve blown their hair back. I felt recoil from that sucker, and I’m pretty sure I heard an echo. In gamer terms, that belch had a freakin’ mana bar. In its wake, the four of us sat there in stunned silence. Then, ever so slowly, I heard someone clap. Not applause, not hate-clapping, but the slow kind you’d expect from one who respects a well-performed art. I blinked a few times to focus my eyes again, and found that it was coming from Celestia. She was smiling, and it was pure, honest appreciation. I had no idea how to react to this. “Um. I’m... sorry..?” She actually giggled. “Ferrum, you are a breath of fresh air. Figuratively speaking, at least.” That drew a snicker from Twilight, and she continued. “I’ve lived long enough to see such behavior shift from an honest appreciation of a good meal to something that only ‘low-born dullards’ do, and to be completely honest? I vastly prefer the first interpretation.” “You may wish to restrain such behavior during prominent social functions.” Luna chuckled between bites of her salad. “The nobility doesn’t appreciate such things in this age, sadly.” “Luna, the nobility doesn’t appreciate much of anything aside from their horn-waving contests.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Honestly, if they had any idea how good it feels to stop pretending to be somepony you’re not, they wouldn’t be half as stuck up as they are.” I loaded a fork with some of my own salad, barely nodding. I wasn’t sure if moving my horn affected my telekinesis, but I didn’t want to find out right now. I was still hungry. “More folks need to realize that being true to yourself is better than putting on a mask every morning.” There was a rustle as I tried to shrug my shoulders instead of my wings, and I took a moment to quietly frump at the body I’d been transplanted into. “Not just the rich or the nobility, though. Everyone.” “Agreed.” Celestia nodded, with a certain sense of finality, and turned her attention to me. “Though we’ve been monopolizing the conversation with local matters when we have a visitor from another world sitting at our table, who I’m positive is only seconds away from dying of boredom.” I snorted. “I wouldn’t go that far, but I have been more focused on my food than the conversation.” “We can’t really blame you, Ferrum. You don’t have the context to understand what we’ve been talking about, and in politics, context is everything.” Twilight paused to enjoy a bit more of her soup, then continued. “Is there anything you feel like sharing about your world?” ...That was a loaded question. “In general, specifics…?” I tucked a bit more salad away to buy myself some time to think, swallowed, and shrugged. Or at least, tried to shrug. Instead, I fluttered. Stupid wings. “I tend to work better if I’ve got a prompt to work from. Anything in particular you’d like to know?” “Well, while I was in the grip of the spell, I didn’t really get the best impression.” She gestured aimlessly with a quarter of what looked like a grilled cheese sandwich. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s impressive that your species managed to visit your world’s moon without the aid of magic-” There was a soft ting of silverware falling onto a ceramic plate, and Luna stared at me. “Is this true?” “Well… Yeah.” I shrugged again, and resigned myself to feeling my wings rustle about every time I tried to make that particular gesture. “Twilight said she saw one of the landing sites, and they’re kind of a big deal. Why would I have any reason to lie about that?” There was a momentary quiet while Luna composed herself. Then she asked one simple and yet complicated question. “How?” I sighed. “How familiar are you with chemistry and physics?” I noticed Twilight’s face split into a grin out of the corner of my eye. Apparently, her native language was Science. “Very.” “Okay. Stop me if I get too complicated.” I blew out another sigh. “Imagine self-propelled fireworks, the sort that go shooting up into the sky under their own power when the fuse runs out. Now scale one of those up to the size of a.. Well, larger than a tall grain silo, and replace the explosive payload with a crew capsule that’s capable of detaching from the main propulsion assembly.” They nodded, and I continued. “That’s enough to get into space, provided you can generate enough thrust and control the direction well enough, and as long as you can do the math to establish a properly stable orbit you can stay there until you feel like coming back. Though, due to atmospheric friction, you need a heat-shielded crew capsule if you want to come back down in one piece. To get to the moon and back, though? You need a few more things, like liquid-fuel rockets so you have fine throttle control, and a tighter grasp of orbital mechanics, plus a plan for how to get your crew back after they land. I don’t know the calculations myself, but I do know it took an entire government-funded agency to get to the point where it was possible.” I was confronted with a trio of stares. “...What?” Luna recovered first. “That sounds unreasonably dangerous. Why did your culture put so much effort into such a risky endeavor?” “Hm.” I stuffed a bit more of my salad into my mouth as I thought, then I… I can’t really call it a shrug when it doesn’t involve my shoulders any more. Damn. I ruffled my wings a bit. “Two reasons come to mind. The first reason is simple. Competition. The nation I lived in was in, as Twilight put it, a horn-waving contest with another nation at the time, and wanted to prove once and for all that they were better. As for the second reason?” I stuck my fork into a cherry tomato and gestured with it. “Well, why does anyone climb a mountain? Because it’s there.” And I popped the poor, unfortunate red sphere into my mouth with a smile. “Hmm. As good a reason as any, I suppose.” Luna ruffled her wings. “I must admit a certain morbid curiosity, however. How many were lost during this effort?” “During that particular program? Three during a launch rehearsal, and that problem was discovered and fixed rather quickly.” And the last of my salad finally disappeared. “Nearly lost another crew three years later. One of the liquid oxygen tanks popped on the way to the moon, but they were able to recover and come home unscathed.” “Hm. And do you know how many total, for your nation?” “Luna, is this truly polite dinner conversation?” Celestia arched a brow at her sister. “Really, asking about deaths?” I waved her off. “That I know of? Seven in an accident after launch, seven in an accident during reentry. Damaged solid-fuel booster that was approved for launch despite protests and a damaged heat shield, respectively.” I tried to shrug, but only managed to ruffle my wings again. “Plus five more if you include training accidents like the one I mentioned earlier.” “Twenty-two, then? Hm. Considering the risks involved in space travel, that is an admirably low number.”  “If my memory’s right, yeah.” The bottom dropped out of my voice, and I noticed a bit of wobble on the edges of my vision. Damnit, emotions. Not now. “They were heroes.” “This is a subject dear to you, then?” Luna bowed her head. “My condolences. ‘Tis not a pleasant subject, yet it is still an inspiring one. A campaign of discovery persisting in spite of such losses is certainly worthy of respect.” I couldn’t do much more than nod, and I heard Twilight clear her throat. “Yeah..?” “I think I know why the spell picked you, out of all the minds it encountered.” I glanced over, and she was smiling. “Would you like to know?” “Couldn’t hurt.” Twilight’s smile widened, ever so slightly. “You seem to care for everyone, not just yourself.” “I have that impression as well, to tell the truth.” Celestia nodded. “You may have your moments of anger, depression, or fear, but so does every other thinking creature.” “And in spite of what I saw of your world during the summoning,” Twilight continued, “you still see good that can be nurtured.” I cocked a brow at Twilight. “Just what did you see..?” She blew out a sigh. “A world that doesn’t need Discord to stay chaotic.” “I… Kind of lack the context to know exactly what that means, but chaotic is a good way to describe where I came from.” I ruffled again. Damnit, I missed my shoulders. “That said, I still miss it. Knowing that there’s still a version of me back there helps, but…” “It’s not the same as being there.” Twilight nodded. “That’s understandable, and I feel absolutely terrible about making you go through all this. If there were any way to safely send you back, I would be more than happy to help, but the lack of magic in your home realm is far too large a hurdle to reliably clear.” I nodded, trying to keep my sudden case of the sniffles to myself. “Yeah, I imagine it would be.” “You are not going to be abandoned like yesterday’s newspaper, Ferrum.” Celestia smiled at me. “You will have our full support, as well as the support of the Crown, in finding your place here.” “It is as my sister has said. You will find your place eventually, and we will be happy to help you along the way.” There was a smile from Luna as well. “Pray tell, what trade did you practice before you were summoned? Perhaps we can assist you in finding a similar line of work, if you feel the need to occupy your mind.” Before I could answer, Caramel Sweet came back to gather our empty dishes and distribute dessert menus. It was a welcome distraction from the dark thoughts filtering through my head, to be honest. There was a bit of deliberation over the matter, but my three hostesses decided to simply order the contents of the menu to share amongst ourselves. Something about how they wanted to make a celebration of the evening, considering how infrequently they entertained guests outside of their obligations. When the matter was settled and Caramel Sweet trotted off, I found myself returning my attention to Luna. “To answer your question, I was a machinist. Thought I was having a stroke at my lathe when that summoning spell hit me, then I blinked and found myself in Twilight’s lab.” I glanced over at Twilight and smirked. “Still not sure I can write off the stroke hypothesis, actually. I mean, rainbow-colored ponies with wings and horns? Brain injuries can have all kinds of odd effects on the mind, including hallucinations...” “Hey..!” “What? I’m just saying it’s not outside the realm of possibility.” I am terrible at controlling my facial expressions. This is easily proven by the fact that I often find myself grinning without realizing it. “Though, if that is the case, this is a much better hallucination than the last one I had.” That got all three of them laughing, to some degree or another, and the rest of the evening was spent just… Living. They asked me about humanity, I asked them about their culture, we kicked jokes back and forth, and between the four of us? We demolished the dessert tray, and I have to say that Equestrian pastries are nearly as divine as their steaks. However, I suspect this may be bias on my part, or perhaps the fact that they were prepared for royalty. Regardless, I lost track of the time as we sat around the table and talked. It was downright enjoyable, though there was an abrupt interruption when Celestia and Luna stopped talking and simultaneously lit their horns. A few moments later, rays of morning sunlight filtered in through the windows. I may have gaped, just slightly. “...Have we really been at this all night?” “And you’re not tired. Yeah, it takes some getting used to.” Twilight smiled. “I’ve been trying to figure out the precise mechanism behind it, but something about our biology or our naturally high thaumic flux makes it possible for our race to go without sleep for far longer than the others.” “I have told you before, little sister.” Luna shook her head. “It is not wise to make a habit of such behavior, considering how the processes of the dreaming mind help to maintain one’s mental stability, but we have found it to be a useful trait from time to time.” “I seem to recall saying the same to you at some point, Lulu. It’s good to see you’ve matured over the centuries.” Celestia smiled as she got back to her hooves, pointedly ignoring how Luna blew a raspberry at her. “I have thoroughly enjoyed spending an evening with my sisters and our new friend, but alas, there are certain responsibilities I must attend to.” And with that, Celestia departed for points unknown. Her throne, maybe? Hell if I knew. ...Wait. “Centuries?” I felt my eyebrows climb towards my horn again. “Did I hear that right?” “Indeed you did. My eldest sister and I have been alive for several tens of centuries, and we easily expect to live for hundreds more.” Princess Luna ruffled her wings. “If I may be so vain, I should think the years have been quite kind to us.” Something important inside my mind flipped a table and walked out of its office, leaving me to sit at the dining table with a stunned expression on my face. Luna arched a brow at me. “Do entities such as ourselves not exist in your native realm?” “We…” I swallowed. Audibly. “We may need to define the length of a century in scientific terms. Your definition of the unit may be different than the one I’m used to.” “Oh, that’s easy.” Mention science, and you have Twilight’s attention. “One century is one hundred years, one year is three hundred sixty-five days, one day is twenty-four hours, one hour is sixty minutes, one minute is sixty seconds, and one second is equal to the length of time it takes one atom of caesium one-three-three to oscillate…” She took a breath. “Nine billion, one hundred ninety-two million, six hundred thirty-one thousand, seven hundred seventy times within a thaumic field just powerful enough to contain it.” Well. That settles that little hiccup in understanding. I promptly fainted.