//------------------------------// // Operation: Icebreaker // Story: Integrals // by Mozzarella //------------------------------// "Let's slip into something more comfortable." Integrals *** "Agent B. Report." A cloaked figure halted his mad dash through the forest and frantically checked his surroundings. The device on his belt buzzed again, threatening to break through the sonic cover of the night's storm. "Agent B! Report!" The figure glanced angrily at his utility belt before returning his eyes to his surroundings. There was no telling who or what was waiting for him in the darkness, but none of them could learn of the plan. He bolted off again, paying extra attention to his unconventional senses. An itch here or a twitch there or- There! Lightning severed the black sky, it's light blinding even under the thick canopy above. Most would consider blindness a hindrance, but not Agent B. In fact, he was counting on it. To a casual observer, he would have appeared to vanish behind a passing tree. A more knowledgeable observer would have perceived the same thing. In fact, few ponies could ever hope to witness his lightning-quick leap into the trees above. Agent B grabbed his communicator while falling back to the earth, pinpointing a secure branch to land on. "Berry! Do you copy!" "Pinkie!" Berry whined into his aluminum can while he landed silently on the treetops. "You didn't use the code name!" "Neither did you! And you weren't answering! I was worried!" "I had to find a secure area! I had to maintain radio silence until then!" The stallion paused and then allowed a smile to creep onto his face. "Were you really that worried about me?" "Of course!" she squeaked. "I can't have my Berry getting captured by the enemy yet. I haven't even thrown you a birthday party yet." "Birthday party? But it's not my birthday." "Yeah it is! You turned zero today!" "Oh my gosh! I'm so old!" "Yup. You're gonna have more responsibilities and independence soon. Speaking of responsibilities- ahem. Agent B! Report!" Berry instinctively saluted on his perch, causing him to nearly lose his footing. "Ma'am! The secondary objective has been completed, ma'am!" "Then you- wait. Really?" "Yuppers. We've got a full cuddle situation." "Wow," Pinkie remarked. "That was fast! How'd you do it?" "That's the best part! I didn't have to do anything! I sneaked up to the window, took a peak, and boom! They're fast asleep in front of the fireplace." "In this storm?!" "Uh huh! You should have seen them all curled up. It was adorable!" Berry could almost feel her pout over the can communicator. "I wanna see flutter-butter hugs." "There's no time for that now, Pinkie! We have to focus on the primary objective!" "Fine. Make your way over to me and we'll attack together." The stallion shouted an affirmative into his can and resumed leaping through the trees. "Say, Pinkie?" Berry asked. "Pinkie." "That's not what I meant, silly! How will I find you?" "You see the string sticking out of the can you're holding?" "Uh huh." "Follow the string. And hurry! They're barely talking to each other! It's super awkward!" ... The rhythm of testing usually relaxed her. Just slightly alter the independent variable. Measure everything before and after. Cut and dry. Just follow the steps. Step one: Measure dimensions and mass of the object and duplicate. Step two: Place the objects in direct contact on a flat surface, clamping the original so it cannot move. Step three: Glance at Dusk and wonder what his mane feels like. It looks kind of messy. Why would his look like that if I always keep mine neat? I mean it's not bad-looking or anything. It's actually kind of cu-oh gosh he saw you! Look away now! Crap! Step four: Attach the pulling apparatus to the duplicate and activate it. On the resulting graph of force vs. time, note the maximum force. That is the force required to separate the objects. Step five: Dwell on the thought of him seeing you seeing him and try to accept the fact that he's going to think you're weird. But you are weird. That's fine. He doesn't have to like you or anything. You don't like him, right? So why would it matter? Besides, even if you did feel that way, you can't act on it. No. Never. Psh. Like that was ever a possibility. Acting on it. You can't act on anything. You're looking again. Twilight released the pencil from her teeth and wiped off her tongue. "I feel like a child," she murmured, eyes wandering back to her notebook. Her companion turned away from his work. "Why's that?" "Here I am doing these juvenile experiments with what could easily be mistaken for children's toys," the mare complained while gesturing at her materials. "Meanwhile, my writing looks like I left my notebook on a seismograph and kicked it repeatedly." Dusk had to admit that those cubes bore a striking resemblance to those blocks foals play with while learning to spell. "Oh wow. We even wrote those letters on them." "Not helping, Dusk." "Sorry. But hey. The simple methods work. That's why we use them." "Do they really? Because I've never discovered any formulas before. For all we know, all of science up to this point has just been a coincidence." "Whoa there," the stallion chuckled. "Let's not get into induction right now. I don't think either of us is in a philosophical mood." "Oh my gosh," Twilight said, hanging her head. "I just sounded like a liberal arts student. What's happening to me?" "Magical depletion, probably. Are you sure you're okay to continue? It's not like there's a deadline or anything." "I'm fine," she asserted. "Just give me a few more minutes here then we can get started." Dusk pursed his lips in response to her terse tone. Did I say something wrong? Dammit dude, stop blowing it! I mean, there's nothing to blow but- Look just stop it. Both ponies turned glumly back to their tasks, thoroughly convinced that they were screwing up. In fact, they were so busy with their perceived failure, that neither noticed a book on the far wall slip into the shelf to make room for two pairs of eyes in the darkness beyond. ... The shaft of light that followed the book's removal revealed that the secret underground rooms surrounding the library were, in fact, just the broad spaces between the bookshelves and the actual walls. It had hardwood flooring and even a few electrical outlets scattered about. Whoever installed those shelves must not have cared that much to leave so much wasted space. Well, wasted up until now. "Hey Pinky?" Berry asked from behind the discarded book. "What's homeopathy?" The pink mare quickly shushed her accomplice and returned to her spying. "All I know is that we're not supposed to judge them for being that way," she whispered out the side of her mouth. "For being what way?" "Homeopathic. We can talk about that later. Remember the mission?" "Oh yeah! Ahem. What's the status of our targets?" "They're standing there in silence, glancing at each other. Twilight keeps scrunching up her face all angry and stuff. Oh! And they're playing with building blocks!" "Ooh, that sounds fun." "Er, it doesn't look fun." Pinkie shook her head in disbelief. "How can somepony make building blocks look boring?" Berry extended his flexible eyes through his double's spy hole. "Are those notes?! They're taking notes?! Pinkie, we have to do something." Ever the optimist, Pinkie kept her smile in the face of disaster. "That's why we're here, my little apprentice," she said, patting her padawan on the shoulder. "Ready our weapons. Tonight, we go to war!" "Already done, ma'am." Pinkie's determined gaze into the distance suddenly fell. "What?" Looking up, she found a series of improvised pipes feeding from their tunnel into several spots along the tall shelves. They were certainly not there before. "Wow," she muttered. "Is this what it feels like when I do that? No wonder everypony freaks out when I'm around!" The whirring of heavy machinery just barely reached the pink intruders as their first weapon came to life. "Let's get started on the cocoa," Berry said, rubbing his forehooves together. "It's about to get cold in here." ... It's one of the first things you do in chemistry class. I mean actually do. You put some stuff in a big old dripper and measure how many drips it takes for something to happen. It usually takes one pony maybe five minutes to do a trial. Using two would be silly. A waste of resources. I guess we do silly things when we're tired, like crowd around a small table cluttered with papers and lab instruments. Or use inefficient powering spells to turn on said instruments instead of finding an outlet. "Do you smell something?" Twilight's stalwart companion shifted beside her, craning his head awkwardly above hers to operate the buret. With only one magically capable unicorn around, no amount of space would allow them to spread out. "I'm actually trying not to smell anything right now." Twilight would have smacked her forehead if her hooves weren't full. "Oh yeah. Fumes. We probably shouldn't be inhaling this stuff, should we?" "Huh? Oh, fumes. Yeah, that's right." Dusk chuckled nervously, glancing down at the deep purple mane that had been grabbing him all night. How the heck does it smell like that? I've been with her the whole day. Shampoo doesn't last that long. I don't think she's the type to wear perfume. What the hell is it, then? Is this the attraction? Does it manifest as the greatest smell ever? This is maddening! "This stuff isn't that bad," he continued, rolling with the lie. "But you can't be too careful." "I wish more ponies around here were careful. You know, I wanted to install a fume hood in here. Of course, the contractor had no clue what I was talking about. So, after I described it to him, he put a window in my closet upstairs." "A window? He thought you wanted a window?" "Right? We happened to be in a library. Look up the word if you don't know it. Anyway, now the town gets a nice look at my wardrobe every morning and we get to inhale hazardous chemicals." "Everypony wins!" Dusk cheered blandly. Twilight chuckled and moved to another table, much to the disappointment of her lab partner. She then frowned and sniffed the air. "There it is again! I smell rain or something." "Well, it is raining." "I'm aware. However, that smell doesn't usually get inside, let alone reach the basement." The stallion distanced himself from the fumes, which happened to leave him right by Twilight's side again. Sure enough, he detected the distinct odor of plant oils as if he'd just walked outside on a rainy morning. He could almost feel the cool air on his face and the frost on the grass. He imagined his breath as a visible cloud beyond his face. Wait, I'm not imagining that last part. Dusk exhaled again, clearly seeing the condensation occur in the air. Shortly afterward, the cold slithered under his fur, eliciting a fit of shivers from the stallion. "Okay, it was not this cold a minute ago. Does your lab have air conditioning?" ... "The jig is up! Abort!" Pinkie both squeaked and whispered. Berry yanked the plug from the outlet, tripping and hogtying himself in the process. The mechanical groan of their air conditioner rapidly faded "I'm too young to go to prison!" he cried. "Wait. I'm actually too young to go to prison! Ha! Take that justice system! I'm not even a day old." "Shh! They're looking around. We're going dark." Pinkie replaced the book in their lookout hole and crouched down next to her bound friend. "Darn. I really wanted this one to work." Pinkie pouted. "Me too. I guess I was a teensy bit too hopeful for this plan. Like, why would they just fall into each other's hooves because it's a little cold? This isn't the movies." "It could be the movies. I mean, that's what I'd do. In fact," Berry trailed off as he rolled into his friend's lap. "Oh Pinkie! You're so warm and cuddly! I can't hold it in any longer! Pinkie tossed her head back in faux turmoil, hoof on her forehead as though she had the vapors. "Oh, don't say it! My father would never approve!" "To heck with your father! Will you go to prom with me?" The stallion's tail produced a single red rose and moved it between them. Pinkie released a fake squeal, which was indistinguishable from her normal very real squeals, and embraced her clone. "Yes! Yes! Oh my gosh yes! I would love to go to prom with you. Smooch me, Berry!" "Alright, I'm smoochin'." What followed was a series of "mwah" sounds as the two pink ponies puckered their lips and moved toward one another. At about an inch away, they finally cracked and broke into whispered laughter. "I'd watch that movie," Pinkie eventually managed. "You know, you're right Berry. It can be like the movies. Somepony just needs to give things a little push!" "Or maybe," Berry said, eyeing an artillery-shaped bulge in their supply bag, "We should give it a shot!" ... Lab coats solve many problems. Are you working with staining, corrosive, or otherwise harmful materials? Boom. Lab coat. Do you feel cold due to some random freezing air entering your basement lab in the wee hours of the morning? Boom. Lab coat. Do you catch yourself staring longingly at your fellow researcher instead of focusing on work. Boom. Lab c- Oh shoot. She actually looks really cute in that. It's a somewhat common theme in more unsavory works. Whatever it is, make it sexy. If you have a scientist, she'll be scantily clad under her undone lab coat with unnecessary reading glasses held daintily in her mouth and not on her eyes. Maybe even throw some bubbling green liquid on the table. This couldn't be farther from the reality of lab work. There is no argument when it comes to personal protective equipment. Button your coat, put on your goggles, and for Pete's sake don't inhale the vapors of your boiling liquids. Whatever is in there is not good for ponies. Twilight is well aware of these rules. So why is it cute, dammit? She's covered all over in nitrile rubber and thick cloth. Dusk sighed and made the tempting journey back to his partner's side. "I'm definitely going to do something stupid," he mumbled. "What was that?" "I- ah- anything different in the solution?" the stallion stammered, thankful that the consonance made that cover up passable. She bought it. Or ignored it, at least. "Alone, no. But this is pretty interesting. Watch what happens when they get close." Twilight made some space on her table and slowly pushed two beakers filled with a colorless liquid toward each other. The cloned ponies brought their eyes to the level of the cloned liquids and watched the surfaces of the liquids tilt toward each other. "Ferrofluids, eat your heart out," the mare claimed triumphantly. "I can't be sure yet, but I can only assume that the individual molecules are Attracted to their counterparts." "What's in there, anyway? I didn't get a look when I was cloning it. Looks a little to, eh, viscous to be water." "That's right! You weren't around for the news. Dusk, say hello to Calefoleum. This is a compound some researchers discovered that readily conducts magic. It saps away spells and releases thermal energy. Go ahead and try to pick up one of those beakers." "Okay, then wha- uf!" Dusk stuttered as the beaker did not budge but instead began to boil. "I can't pick it up?" The mare nodded, smirking. "Yup. Even telekinesis. It's really bizarre." "That's interesting and all," the stallion said, scratching his chin. "But why did we examine that and not, you know, water?" "Because it costs a fortune and that was all I had," Twilight answered sheepishly. "What?" "How, uh, pragmatic," Dusk remarked, chuckling. Returning his attention to the cool chemicals, he grabbed the colder beaker and raised it above the one he had just warmed. Sure enough, droplets of the lower liquid started to defy gravity and crawl up the beaker. Dusk shook his head in amazement. Normally that type of discovery was for the ponies you read about in textbooks. He could imagine that sort of discovery driving other less successful academics mad with envy. He could also imagine being one of those academics. Yet, here he was with a working cloning spell! With weird attractive forces! Magical oil that gets hot? Psh. I can make another one of you. "How does it feel to have created what is what might be a new type of chemical bond?" he asked, absently pushing the beakers around to watch the fluids move. "You tell me," she shot back, grinning. "You made this batch, not me." "And, by extention, you did too. Now's not the time for nitpicking," he muttered dismissively. "Say, what time is it?" "It's, uh," she trailed off, checking her foreleg. "Time for me to realize I don't wear a watch. Where's my clock?" "Oh my gosh. It's almost two in the morning." "Two?!" Twilight squeaked. She then started counting how many hours she had to sleep if she started right now. Of course that didn't factor in the time to clean up your work or to get washed. Not to mention the time it would take to actually fall asleep. "Why don't we call it a night?" she asked. "I actually didn't sleep last night either." ... "It's two already? But we only did, like, one of our plans!" Berry pouted and looked to Pinkie for reassurance. "Maybe you did. I've been over here doing one of our secret plans." "What secret plan?" "The one I made up! See, I've been whispering 'Cuddle!' this whole time." "What's that gonna do?" "It's called subliminal massaging," Pinkie said, mimicking the voice of a smug academic. "I'm getting them all massaged with my voice to get them to cuddle. And they don't even know 'cause they can't hear me!" "Woah! That's cool! Do you think it's gonna work?" "Not at all! We've got to do something!" "Alright. Alright. Gotta think. Why didn't the other plan work?" "Because, when it got cold, they didn't think, 'We should snuggle up under a blanket with hot cocoa'. Instead, they put on more clothes." "Right. They're not thinking cute thoughts. They're thinking boring thoughts," the stallion said, dragging out the 'o' sound. Pinkie gasped, bolting upright and trotting in place. "Berry! You're a genius! Quick! We need- uh. We need a thing! Get- get the thing!" "I am?" "The thing, Berry!" The stallion bolted to their supplies and began throwing all of their gadgets to the wall behind him. Somehow they failed to make sound. "Uh, I- hm..." "Berry!" Giving up figuring out what "the thing" was, Berry shrugged and threw the first two objects he could reach at his clones head. Pinkie's prehensile tail snatched the 'things' out of the air while she kept watch on their targets. She turned from the bookcase to the weapons found in the pink curls that protruded from her rump. "These aren't-! Wait. No. This is actually better! Nice thinking, Berry!" Berry could only tilt his head. "Thinking?" ... Why am I unhappy? Twilight thought that thought often. That wasn't just her scientific mind always asking questions. She was genuinely confused. Successful new research. Check. Friends won't pester me about clones anymore. Check. Dusk is actually really nice. Che- Twilight winced as she found the tray of materials before her too heavy for her jaw. Sadly, her magic had not yet returned. "I got it," her clone said without hesitation, magically scooping her tray off the table and somehow knowing where everything was to go. Twilight forced a smile and offered a halfhearted "thank you" while he walked off. With pursed lips, she set about gathering the remaining supplies. He is nice. And that's sort of the problem. Does the Attraction apply to purely platonic relationships? Is he just being friendly because of that? Am I? She heard him walking behind her, cleaning quite a bit faster than she could without her powers. Twilight expected that. What she didn't expect was the concussive force on the side of her rump as Dusk passed by. The mare shot up, shocked beyond belief. She would have shrieked if she hadn't immediately bit her tongue. Even so, it would not have been heard over the loud "slap" that filled her basement lab. What the-! Twilight began to think, whipping her head behind her to her stinging rump and her clone. Did he just... He stared blankly at her back, or perhaps a bit lower, saying nothing. There's no way... Twilight's face turned a delightful shade of red when Dusk bent down out of her view below her white coat. She was fairly sure that she was feeling something aside from pins and needles behind her cutie mark. Whether it was indignation or embarrassment, she could not tell. Surprise was mixed in there, to be sure. He did not just- just do that! Who just does that!? Why?! Does he think I...? Do I...? Steam appeared to form around the unicorn's burning face. She watched her assailant rise from behind her, feeling very small and vulnerable. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! What do I do!? What do I do!? What- what the heck is that? Dusk rose from the floor not with a devious grin or with some instrument of torture, oh no. In his mouth, he held a rubber chicken. "Any idea where this came from," he asked, oblivious to his partner's impending mental breakdown. ... "Dead on!" Pinkie whispered, still holding up her slingshot. Berry hopped silently behind her. "Ha! Look at her face! She's all 'Did he just slap my butt?!'." "Look how red she is! She's like a tomato!" "Or a cherry," Berry continued dreamily. "I'm hungry, Pinkie." "If only we had emergency marshmallows. Okay, now she's not thinking boring thoughts. Get ready, Berry." "That's not your line! I'm in costume and everything! Say the line!" "Oh my gosh! Sorry! Ahem. Ready the cannon, private!" The stallion, suddenly clad in an eye patch and a bandanna, wheeled their colorful artillery to the spy hole. "Aye aye, cap! She's ready!" "On my signal. We only get one shot." ... It's strange how quickly ponies can change. One minute, you're walking on eggshells like a child with a crush. Next, you're acting all worried like you care about her or something. "Are you sure you're okay? You're burning up." "I'm f-fine," Twilight stuttered while refusing to meet his concerned gaze. "I- uh- I thought you- I mean- it just stings a little." Of course he didn't come up behind you and slap your ass you idiot! she mentally chastised. Did you expect that? Is that what you wanted? Dusk furrowed his brow and scanned the room, the rubber chicken floating limply in his grasp. "Where did this thing even come from?" he asked. "Probably one of Pinkie's surprises," Twilight responded glumly. "Great timing, Pinks." "Timing? Did you drop something?" "No, I-" Twilight stuttered again, still struggling to gather her thoughts. "It's nothing. I'm tired, alright? This has been a long day." "Then why don't you go to bed and I'll put away anything hazardous. I won't keep working without you, if that has you worried." Dusk placed his hoof on her shoulder as platonically as possible putting on as much of a friendly, and only friendly, face as he could muster. To no avail. The mare's cheeks remained rose-colored, her words failing her. "Come on," he encouraged. "I'll shelf this stuff and you can get ready for bed." "Alright," Twilight finally answered. "But remember, no magic on the Calefoleum." He nodded. "I know. Now go to sleep." Dusk watched his double approach the winding stairs on trembling legs. Turning his attention to the remaining work. In truth, not much was left that absolutely had to go. Despite his earlier cockiness, he had to admit that Twilight's Calefoleum was pretty cool. Of Course, "pretty cool" often translated into "can kill you" in the lab. This was one such case. While Dusk carefully lifted the tray holding their dangerous chemicals, he silently envied the dexterity of non-unicorns with their jaw strength and ability to walk smoothly on three legs. I should work out or something, he thought idly. If only to handle this stuff better. Are you sure that's why? a voice deep in his mind asked smugly. Because I think you're trying to get somepony's attention. Oh great. I'm now hearing voices. Is this the Attraction? Go away. I'm busy. He imagined the voice rolling its eyes, but it didn't seem beaten. You're right. That would be silly. After all, you already have her attention. Dusk glanced nervously at the stairs. Sure enough, Twilight was still watching. She's making sure I'm okay, he reasoned. Working alone is dangerous. Is that so? Then why are you so fixated on her watching? The stallion nearly objected, but he found his inward conversation growing too in depth to be sane. Luckily, he reached his destination and could finally set the bottles down. Shifting to stand on his hind legs, he grasped one bottle of the Calefoleum and moved it to an eye-level cabinet. Technically, glass should not be stored so high. But this was the only available spot. Dusk was a careful pony. Surely he could place a bottle in a cabinet without incident. There was a faint pop behind him followed by a chorus of cheap one-bit store horns one might use at a child's birthday party. "Surprise!" they cried with their inarticulate bleats. Dusk had closed his eyes and flinched at the sound, which would save him some trouble when a high-speed marble whizzed by, shattering the bottle in his hooves and spilling its contents onto his face and head. Instincts threw the stallion into a flailing fit as he stumbled backwards, letting out several undignified shrieks all the while. He would have tipped over completely had it not been for the firm hoof on his back. Twilight grunted under her clones weight even braced against the table. She immediately spat an order to remove his coat that went unheard in the din of Dusk's screams. ... "One out of two isn't bad!" "Definitely!" Two pink ponies frantically fled from the secret tunnel entrance behind the library. The downpour immediately soaked their shaking bodies and sack of secret mission equipment. "I thought it was water!" Pinkie squeaked nervously. "It looked like water!" "It's fine, Pinkie! He'll be fine!" Pinkie's clone ran beside her, head completely in his duffle bag searching for an umbrella. "It was supposed to get his hair wet so Twilight would smooch him! That's what you do when cute ponies get their hair wet!" Berry promptly stopped searching for an umbrella. "He- he'll be okay, Pinkie. That was a surprised scream. Not a "my eyes are burning" scream." The party mare tried to giggle, but couldn't manage to laugh it off. That wouldn't do. She felt all four of her hooves leave the ground and a wet mess of a mane smother her face. Sputtering, she pushed against the fur to find herself still moving through Ponyville's dark streets. "I can't hug you while we're running," Berry chirped, craning his head back to smile. "So I figured this would work. No being sad!" "I'm not sad! I just want them to be happy. Can you imagine what things will be like hanging out with them if they're all 'oh I really like you but we can't be together because of silly reasons!'? I can't do it, Berry! I won't have another cliche in my life!" Pinkie punctuated her point with a pout. Her assertiveness was somewhat offset by her subsequent snuggling into her new ride's wet mane. "Maybe it worked? Maybe she's lovingly tending to Dusk's wounds." "You said he wasn't hurt!" "Uh- lovingly tending to his non-injuries? Let's worry tomorrow. It's, like, really late." Berry felt his passenger pout again, but he suspected she longed for sleep as well given how readily she relaxed against his back. ... You think better when your eyes are closed. Well, maybe "more" is a more accurate term. It has to do with your brain having less to do. "Oh, I don't need to process the visible spectrum right now?" your brain says. "I guess I better remember that time you accidentally called your teacher 'father' in second grade." Then you can't fall asleep at night. The best thing to do is to think of something and keep thinking of it to keep your brain occupied. Maybe write a story in your head and worry about your characters' lives instead of your own. Although, less creative types might go for something more, uh, procedural. But hey, whatever works. "Is one the least hazardous classification or the most for irritation?" Dusk thought aloud. "I can never remember." He blindly ascended the staircase before him, wary of expecting a step where there was none. Truly, there is no greater terror. Luckily, his lab partner led him from ahead. "It depends on the system," Twilight answered. "In any case, it seems like it'd be the least hazardous category if you're so calm about it. I'm more interested in how to classify that reaction than anything." The stallion stopped again to feel his face. Rather, to feel the rough solid concealing his face from the world and vice-versa. "Forms an opaque solid when mixed with excess rancid emergency shower water," Dusk said. "Hm. Doesn't sound too professional, does it?" "It could use some work," Twilight agreed, cracking a smile. "What color is this stuff?" "White." Dusk blew a raspberry. "Figures. Everything ends up as a white solid. No wonder nobody finds this stuff interesting at a glance." "Alright, here's the last step. Be careful." The two arrived at what Dusk would have to believe was the library's second floor. Twilight guided him farther to her bathroom and her large washtub. The stallion felt around with a hoof and found the tub's rim when it collided with his solid-encrusted hoof. He climbed in, ready to clean off the filth and end the day. However, a grimace grew on his face upon realizing what he'd have to do next. "Uh, Twilight?" "Hm?" she said, sounding farther away than he expected. She must have assumed he wanted privacy. "I, uh, this is awkward. Um, I can't really see or feel what I'm doing. Could I have some help?" The mare didn't answer for a time, only letting Dusk's face grow red as his request hung in the air. He worried that she had already left the room. "I'd use magic," he continued. "But I kind of don't want to risk burning my eyes off. It's fine if you-" "No no, I understand. I'll help. Just let me, uh..." Twilight trailed off, looking around the room. Her clone was already taller than her, but now he sat in her elevated tub. Eventually, she knelt near her sink where Spike's stool sat ready to help the young dragon see the mirror above. She grunted with undignified effort as she nudged the stool with her neck, not too keen on placing her mouth where her assistant often placed his feet. Upon climbing onto her perch, she found herself just above Dusk's eyes and high enough to reach the bath's knobs. "Alright," she murmured. "I'm gonna turn on the water. Tell me if it's too-" The mare was silenced by her stool nearly toppling backwards, saved by her hooves already hanging to the tub's edge. "Are you alright?" "Yeah. Yeah. I just almost cracked my head open, is all." "The night keeps getting better," Dusk laughed halfheartedly. "Look out for falling anvils." The stallion's joke fell flat as that felt like a very real possibility. Twilight searched the ceiling for balloons as she turned on the water. The water streamed out of the tub's mini shower head, causing Dusk to wince at the cold. Unfortunately, the white chunks on his mane seemed less perturbed than he was. "Could you scoot back for me?" Dusk complied with the order while Twilight took the shower head in her teeth to better aim the water. With the stream now pointed at the back of his head, she began kneading his mane with her front hooves. The water did little to wash away the solid at first, Twilight noted. But as it gradually warmed, it began to fade and fall off of him, revealing his mixed purple and pink mane. "Ish the water too hot?" she asked when the stallion's breathing grew heavy. His head shook as though he was snapped out of a trance. "Huh? Oh, uh. No. It feels gre- fine. It feels fine. Is the stuff, uh, coming out?" Twilight found difficulty answering as well, only thinking to speak once her stool wobbled again. "It'sh, uh. H-hold on." Her hooves wandered downward to the stallions shoulders, continuing their gentle massage despite there being no solid to clean there. You know, the mare's mind whispered. You could have started on his eyes. He would be able to see and do this on his own. You could have just left him and gone to bed. Twilight's breath grew heavy as well. She didn't dare admit that the shower was working. He'd turn around, look into her eyes, and that would be it. But that wasn't what you wanted, was it? Time ticked by, the mare's hooves having aimlessly explored every inch of his head. She suspected he knew his head was clean. Go on. Finish up and leave him be. She silently applied pressure to his shoulders, signaling for Dusk to turn around. He did so cautiously, directing his face to oppose the warm water. Oh, but who are you kidding? He doesn't want it to end either. Twilight lifted the stallion's soaked mane from his face with one hoof while gently sliding the other across the crystals over his eyes. The water did it's job, the crystals appearing to melt away with each gentle caress of the mare's hoof. As the blinding solid fell down the drain, Dusk felt the pressure on his eyes dissipate. The shower head fell from Twilight's mouth, retracting loudly into its sheath. Her hooves still rested on her clone's shoulders, albeit shakily. "Alright," she said, gulping. "You're good." His eyes opened sluggishly, sensitive after their time closed. Though, his discomfort faded when he laid eyes on his savior. Strands of her mane stuck up defiantly from their assigned positions. Her normally clean bangs fell all over her face, mercilessly concealing precious pieces of her eyes. A furious blush adorned her cheeks just above her open, panting mouth. Dusk then realized he was panting too. And he'd just run out of breath. Dammit, muttered the last of his self-restraint. At the same time, the pooling water at his hooves melted the crystals therein, creating a slick oil that was just perfect for standing on. His right hoof slid forward. His left found purchase on the tub's wall, trying to push him upright. Twilight, meanwhile, lost any semblance of balance during his jerking movements and clutched at whatever she could reach. That was, of course, the stallion's neck. The unicorns crashed onto the porcelain floor, splashing against the small puddle that had accumulated. Twilight's hooves saved Dusk's head from an unpleasant fracture while using the rest of his body to break her own fall. Both came to rest with a face full of the other's fur. Twilight unluckily found her muzzle blocked by the mane she had so carefully washed. She quickly retreated to redirect her coughing fit, having effectively water-boarded herself with his mane. Dusk was in no rush to leave. His close encounter with the mare's chest seemed to have sapped the will from him. He watched blankly, spread-eagle, as his friend removed the water from her lungs with some difficulty. She collapsed again, managing to spare her clone from another smothering embrace and instead meeting him muzzle first with her hooves on either side of his head. They panted, breathing the same air for some time before regaining their senses. Their eyes remained locked on one-another by instinct rather than choice. "It's no use," Twilight croaked, falling lower until their noses pressed together. "I can't focus around you." The shower head continued to spray its payload onto the heap of purple pony, sending the mare's long mane downward in a curtain around her prisoner. The harsh fluorescent lights struggled to shine through the mare's dark halo, further tipping Dusk's internal struggle. "I- uh," he replied dumbly, words now failing him. No longer in complete control, his hooves wandered upward to- No! We can't! It's not real! His limbs paid his thoughts no mind, wrapping around her waist. He summoned his magic to pull back her waterlogged hair. Twilight squirmed in his clutch, but could make no effort to pull free. "No," she moaned in protest. "We can't..." "We can't..." her clone repeated. Why? Their eyes widened and fear took their weary hearts. They scrambled away from one another to opposite ends of the tub, slipping and splashing all the while. They hanged half-way off their respective sides of the tub, mouths gasping and minds racing to nowhere in particular. In her panic, Twilight kicked off the drain cover, letting the oily bath water drain away beneath their hooves. Away it went, the cause of all of this. The subject of their research. The agent that spilled on her friend. The rocks that brought them to the bath together. The oil that opened the flood gates. Twilight choked again, in introspection this time. She stared at her trembling hooves then at her trembling clone. Then she laughed. Nothing too genuine. A comedian certainly wouldn't find it encouraging. It was the gentle, sad laugh you laugh when you can't anymore. "Twilight, are you-?" "We know," she interrupted. Her face contorted in a half-grimace and half-dark smile. "We know about the Attraction. What it does to us." She paused to turn off the still running water, then returned a manic gaze to her friend. "And you know what?!" she laughed and screamed. "You're still hot! I wanted to kiss you right there. I've never wanted to kiss anyone! I never had a pop-star crush or fantasy like that for anyone. But you!? I just met you and I was about to let you grab onto me and we were going to make out! Can you imagine?! I'm having dirty thoughts for the first time in my life!" "Twilight, I-" Dusk tried to interrupt. "No! Don't be sorry! You shouldn't be! I bet you're feeling the exact same things! The difference being that you didn't cause all of this! I brought this upon myself even though I knew this would happen! I knew what it would make me do!" "Twilight." "But we can't! We can't do anything! Because of the Attraction! This stupid Attraction that's the reason I want to do these things in the first place! It doesn't matter what I'm thinking! It doesn't matter if I study it! I'm going to feel things out of my control!" "Twilight!" "I can't do it, Dusk! I can't take another night like this! I won't be able to resist-" The stallion recalled images of old movies. They advised him to go for the "shut-up-kiss" in this situation. All things considered, that wouldn't be a good move here. A hug would do just fine. "Twilight, stop it," he said firmly, squeezing her in his hooves yet again that night. She went stiff at his touch, seeming to stop all functions but her heart. The pounding in her chest was Dusk's only indication that she was alive. Her energy soon left her and she went limp, not returning the embrace. "You have to snap out of it. We can get through this." The mare began to breathe again, ragged at first but eventually slowing. She pushed away from him gently and placed a reasonable amount of space between them. "The worst thing we can do is panic. We make things worse if we panic." After a number of deep breaths, she opened her eyes. "Right," she breathed. "No panicking." "Alright?" "Yeah. I kind of lost it there, didn't I?" "I'm beginning to suspect neither of us ever had it." A ghost of a smile appeared on Twilight's face. "Nevertheless, thank you for that." "That, uh, wasn't for you," Dusk said, averting his gaze. "I had to stop you because, uh. You were turning me on." Another silence fell on the hapless unicorns, set adrift on a lonely bathtub in a sea of sexual tension. Many ships, she has sank. For she is a cruel sea. A sea that cares not for your plans. "Oh wow that didn't sound that bad in my head," Dusk sputtered. "I didn't mean-" Twilight's snort cut him off, the mare trying and failing to hold herself together with a hoof to her mouth. Her laughter escaped the loose seal of her hoof, loud and genuine this time. "Turned you on! Ah ha ha-" she choked on her own laughter, proceeding to juggle choking and laughing while she collapsed back on the floor. Dusk meant to check on her, as one would if their friend was experiencing a coughing fit. But as he opened his mouth, chuckles of his own emerged. Before he knew it, he had joined her on the floor, similarly forgetting to breathe. It must have been at least three in the morning by the time the unicorn duo pulled themselves together, thoroughly exhausted by giggles. To be fair, it was the closest thing either normally got to aerobic exercise. They leaned against opposite ends of the tub, hooves folded across their respective bodies in a vain attempt to soothe their aching lungs. "This whole thing is just dumb," Twilight remarked, her voice still light with giggles. "Isn't it?" "It's like," the mare put on a foolish face and waved her hooves with each syllable. "Oh look at me! I'm the body! You might think you know better, but I want you to do the absolute worst thing!" Dusk held his hooves out for mercy. "No! Stop! It hurts to laugh!" But she continued. "What's that? You're not doing it? I guess I'll just stop working and try my best to injure you! That'll learn ya!" "Why do bodies have a drawl now?" "Because they're stupid! The Attraction is stupid and so are bodies!" They relaxed into the white walls, only discomfort from damp fur keeping them awake. However, Twilight's good mood was not long for this world. "I still feel it, you know," she said, shaking her head. "We crack jokes, but we haven't solved the problem." Dusk ran a hoof down his face. "I know. But you're right. The Attraction is dumb. We can't reason our way through it. It's not a pony we can talk to." Both ponies averted their eyes after that remark, remembering their run-ins with an inner voice. Could it be-? "At any rate," Dusk went on to avoid that concerning train of thought. "We'd have to somehow segregate our minds and bodies to appease everyone." "Yeah," Twilight responded glumly. Then she blinked. "Yeah!" she repeated less glumly. "What?" "Why don't we do that?" "Do what?" "Why don't we- Okay, look. Hear me out." The mare crawled across the tub to sit beside her clone. "We have these feelings for each other, right?" "Yeah...?" Dusk shifted uncomfortably at her approach. "But that's all just physical. It's the Attraction doing that to us. We know it's not real in our heads." "But that doesn't make it feel any less real. That's the problem." "Right. So if we just, you know, keep all that in mind. That we're under the influence, so to speak. We could, you know..." Stallions are stupid. They don't know. It's silly to assume that. "We could what?" "We could, like, appease the Attraction and live our lives normally." Twilight stared at him expectantly while the gears turned. Ever so slowly, Dusk grasped at what his friend had proposed, face twisting in uncertainty. "Now hold on. You mean... we would just willingly-" "And knowingly. That's important." "-and knowingly engage in- in that sort of thing?" "Exactly!" It was then that the weight of her proposal began to sink in. "R-right? Or is this weird and creepy?" "I mean, do you really think we could? Just turn off our minds like that? It seems a little..." "Counterintuitive?" Dusk nodded but his face showed it had not left his mind. Is it possible to turn off your mind? To stop thinking? Dusk didn't think so. From what he knew of his inherited mind, he wasn't the type to "go with the flow" so to speak. He felt like the kind of pony that spent his time nursing a conspiracy theory while his friends partied not far away. A wandering mind begets a wandering gaze, so while Dusk pondered his own nature, another part of him pondered the girl with whom he'd just spent all day. Her fur was wet, plastered to her body in clumps. She was probably cold. Her hoof ran idly across her other foreleg, either nursing an injury from their fall or embarrassment from the current discussion. Her eyes moved from his to the floor, most likely as uncomfortable as he was at this moment. But maybe he could see more. Push analysis aside. What do you see? Damp fur hugged her frame in ways that drew Dusk's eyes if he let them. But her eyes drew him more. Two deep seas of purple that had already ensnared him today got his attention again. A small, bright spark in her pupil ignited something within him that had been trying to escape all night. "Twilight," he whispered, trembling as he reached to brush her cheek. "Dusk," she answered in kind, grasping his head by the cheeks and moving in to meet him until their faces nearly met. "I, uh." "This feels-" "Yeah..." "We're really gonna do this, huh?" Their bodies wouldn't wait for an answer any longer. As though pressed together by unseen hooves, their mouths collided. Or rather, their muzzles collided. Whimpering, their heads twisted every which way until they reached the proper angle to make contact. Without any prior experience, animal instinct acted as their only guide to their kiss. Turns out animals know what they're doing, even if it's a bit sloppy. Their hooves moved erratically about each other's body, never stopping in one spot for long before exploring elsewhere. They simultaneously realized that breathing was pretty important and opened their mouths, only to find the other's tongue and panting breath to meet them. The unicorns allowed for a few ragged gasps of shared air before sealing their mouths together, Twilight making good on her earlier claim. Almost too well. In her race to swallow her clone's tongue, she pushed a little too hard and knocked her stallion off balance. They tumbled to the floor for the umpteenth time that night, Twilight's wandering hoof again saving Dusk's skull from an unpleasant blow from gravity. Their fall cruelly separated their mouths, snapping them at least partially out of their lust-filled stupor. Twilight spared a look around the room between breaths. She sat astride her clone who's mind appeared to be elsewhere. Oddly enough, the world hadn't burst into flames with their newest lifestyle choice. Maybe things would be okay? The hard tub was less than ideal, though. "Dusk," she said, panting. "Hey Dusk?" "Huh?" "You, uh, wanna get dried off and do this somewhere else?" Now there was a question. Keep going here? Or wait and have her spread out on her bed, flushed and panting as he moved in and- "Yeah. Yeah, okay." ...