FOAL FREE PRESS
WEDDING DAY MARRED BY MONSTER ATTACK AND SCHEDULING ERRORS
A couple in the town of Ponyville nearly had to cancel their wedding plans due to an unexpected error in the invitations; due to mistakes made by a mailpony identified only as “Muffins,” the date printed on the cards was listed as one day earlier than had been planned. As a result, the couple, donkeys Cranky Doodle and Matilda, were faced with a choice between rescheduling their wedding and canceling it altogether.
“In the end, we decided that the only choice was to move everything up to today,” Matilda says. “We’d rather have a rushed ceremony than not get married at all. We’ve been waiting far too long already.”
Unfortunately, while the couple scrambled to get their act together, a monstrous bugbear decided to attack the town. Fortunately, Princess Twilight and her harem were able to bring the beast under control before it could cause too much damage. In addition, reports indicate that an unknown benefactor known only as “Agent Sweet E. Drops” was somehow involved in the conflict.
In the end, despite the many issues facing them, the couple was finally married. However, even after the ceremony, a final unexpected surprise followed: a changeling was spotted among the guests, after which it successfully evaded capture. Princess Celestia, who was present at the ceremony, insists that the Ponyville guard is incompetent.
“That bug was there for hours, and then it just slips away without anypony to catch it. Why? I don’t know, but it sure isn’t my responsibility!”
After the ceremony, several other couples expressed a desire to get married. In particular, a lesbian couple consisting of earth pony Bonbon and unicorn Lyra Heartsrings are already making plans for their own wedding.
“Up until recently, we couldn’t openly express our love for each other,” Heartstrings explains. “Due to laws restricting our rights, as well as people’s opinions about our love, we had to maintain the true nature of our relationship a secret, only ever referring to each other as ‘best friends.’”
“Fortunately,” Bonbon says, “public opinion on homosexual marriage has become much more accepting over the years. And, thanks to the Equestrian Supreme Court’s most recent ruling on marriage equality and gay rights, we can finally be united in matrimony!”
The editors would like to congratulate these two mares, as well as any couple who wishes to get married, regardless of class, race, or gender.