//------------------------------// // Breaking the silence by slipping on it // Story: Dead Birds // by Stray Dog Kane //------------------------------// To Gilda, things had been quiet mostly, even despite the chickens in the house. After lunch and that late breakfast, Fluttershy had been mostly keeping to herself. While Angel seemed to have some form of silent conversation with her, the pegasus had mostly been quiet all day compared to others. While normally the griffon would not have noticed these things, and she was for once. That realization just made her feel more depressed. Still, the fact that she was the one to remember those stupid sessions they had gave her reason to smile. As stupid as it was to her, it was still something. “Yo, uh, doc?” Gilda asked, tapping on a wall behind the pony, causing her to turn. “We having a session today?” Shy looked generally surprised. “Oh!” Fluttershy said with a jump. “I forgot….” Her surprised look went to a timid one. “I’m sorry, Gilda, really. I’ve had a lot on my mind and so….um, are you ready now? I-I can be down in a moment, ok?” Gilda nodded and headed downstairs. She took her place on the couch and wondered what to talk about. So help her if the pegasus asked about what dream she had the night before--words still failed to describe it. After a while, Dr. Shy came down and sat behind her desk. Fumbling a bit, she got her glasses on. “How are you doing today, Gilda?” she asked to begin. “What about you?” Gilda asked back, maybe being a bit smug. “Normally, you’d have tried to get some kind of conversation going during meal time.” “Oh…” Shy replied, downcast. “I’m...I guess I’m still in shock. But what about you? Are you ok?” “Meh,” Gilda replied and waved her claw. “I had a bad night, a freaky morning, and well...didn’t expect the coop...” “Neither did I,” Shy sighed sadly. “I was more worried that I accidentally made a wedge between us...until I heard the scratching.” She took a deep breath. “Are you still nervous from that experience?” “Kinda, yeah,” Gilda answered, holding her head. “Ya know, that whole sharing a bed thing? That’s all kinds of weird to me.” She let her head go. “I mean, you hear stories...” “There’s no shame in it,” Fluttershy said nicely. “I’m sure my friends have been ok sleeping with each other...er, I mean in the same bed.” Shy blushed, apparently realizing what that sounded like. “I know Twilight had a sleepover once!” she added quickly. “No comment,” Gilda stated, rolling her eyes. Shy seemed to know this topic was one to avoid for now and moved on after clearing her throat. “Can you tell me what you were running from?” Shy asked, and the griffon went from deadpan to shaken in a second. “With how loud you were, I know you felt like something was there.” “Uh, something that doesn’t go away?” Gilda safely replied with no harm. “Kind of like that stuff that walrus was talking about the other day. Like that, what was it? That “Gates of Delirium” thing?” “In your nightmare?” Shy missed the point, and Gilda sighed in annoyance. “Sorry.” “I just freaked out, ok?” she answered with a groan. “Then this morning, well yeah...but it’s not there now.” “What would scare you that badly, Gilda?” Dr. Shy asked, but the griffon didn’t answer. She instead looked at the ceiling for a moment. “I know it wasn’t...her.” Shy avoided using the D word. “And I know she’s one of the harder topics for you...” “Part of it,” Gilda shrugged as she spoke. “Maybe? I don’t know, not really,” she muttered for a bit, unsure how to answer. Looking to Dr. Shy, it was clear the pony wanted to help. Now if only she really could. “It’s just something I saw that scared the crud outta me.” “I’ve been scared a lot in my life, Gilda,” Dr. Shy added. “I...think you would know that, with our history.” The griffon groaned at that. “My point is, we’ve been scared of things.” “Well duh,” Gilda muttered, annoyed by how obvious that was. “But, when you know what you were scared of, it’s like turning on a light!” Fluttershy said, looking hopeful the griffon followed. “Then you can know that what you were scared of wasn’t so scary after all. Do you understand?” “What if it makes it worse?” Gilda asked back with a sad voice. “Like the more you looked, the worse it got?” “How do you mean?” Fluttershy leaned forward in her chair. “Maybe…” Gilda rolled her beak around, trying to find the words. “Maybe I’m just a dead bird right now? Maybe right now, maybe after things get to me?” Despite the griffon feeling like the air had been let out of her, Dr. Shy looked intrigued. “Are you used to the concept of death?” Dr. Shy asked softly. “Duh, I eat,” Gilda replied, a bit annoyed on how dumb a question it was. “Sometimes I even get to see the…” She decided to stop her description and moved on, shaking her head. “But yeah, things die. Sure.” “What about your own death?” Shy pointed out with her hoof as she asked. “What if you died?” “I’d be ticked,” Gilda scoffed back. “Does it scare you at all?” Dr. Shy then cleared her throat, seeing the griffons growing displeasure at these questions. “I-I mean, are there parts of it that scare you?” “Why are you asking?” Gilda asked, losing patience. “Well, it just came to me...” Shy replied, rubbing her hooves on her desk. “You were running from something, something that scared you so badly. But, this morning you were calm.” The griffon gave her a unhappy look. “Er, mostly.” Fluttershy rubbed her mane, looking away for a moment. “What about you?” Gilda countered. “You trying to say you don’t fear this kind of stuff?” “I’m used to animals eating meat,” Dr. Shy replied with a nod. “But, even I’m scared to see something just wanted to murder without reason. Or worse...” “That makes two of us.” Gilda joked aside. “Hm?” Shy raised an eyebrow. For whatever reason, the griffon didn’t want to get yelled at for a “Too soon” slip. “Nevermind,” Gilda stated to avoid pressing things. “But yeah, getting killed sucks.” “Does it bother you?” Dr. Shy said seriously. “Being killed bothers me, sure,” Gilda mostly joked. “Why?” Dr. Shy asked with a curious look. “Can you say why it bothers you?” “Because it sucks,” Gilda said simply with a shrug. “Duh.” “But, didn’t you tell me it “sucks.” Shy even did the air quotes with her hooves. “To be here.” The ponies tone was almost playful, as if to point out a few things. “So?” Gilda replied, getting up and getting the teeth in her beak with a look of cold anger. “You calling me a flip flop?” Calling Gilda unhappy with this title was a understatement. “There’s nothing wrong with finding death scary, Gilda.” Dr. Shy said, waving her hooves as if that would calm things. “I’m sorry, really! I just...I really want to know what you saw that had you running.” Gilda huffed and sat back down as the pegasus looked sad at how she was pressing the griffon. It was quiet as Gilda laid back and Dr. Fluttershy scratched her chin. “I can tell it was something bad,” Fluttershy smiled to the griffon in a friendly way. “I can tell that you would joke about death, but whatever it was...well…” Her smile faded. “I used to think only...Rainbow Dash would get you this defensive.” She continued without any coy humor. “Please, can you tell me about that nightmare you must have had?” “I figure, it has something to do with what that Discord guy was babbling about.” Gilda stated with a sigh. “Don’t you know about that stuff that walrus was talking about?” “It’s just a thing I heard about as well, Gilda.” Dr. Shy said, wishing she had more answers. “Discord would know more about it, but even he’s hard to understand on that topic.” It was then she felt some insight. “Is that what scared you Gilda, the unknown?” “Well, known unknowns anyway,” Gilda replied feeling a bit less pressed, but still uncomfortable as she looked away again. “I don’t have a clue what that walrus was talking about either, but I think I got part of it now.” She sighed. “Then again, next thing I know, I start seeing things in weird ways. Like just accepting that “can’t seen, can’t be seen” thing.” “I see,” Doctor Shy replied. “Next thing I know, after some dream I had, I’m accepting other stuff too,” Gilda continued. “Guess I…” She tried to find the words. “Guess I got worried about you.” “Oh!” Fluttershy looked pleasantly surprised at that. “That’s very nice of you ,Gilda” While the griffon had to wonder why the pegasus was so excited, the pony continued. “You said it was due to a dream, right? What did you see this time?” “It was weird,” Gilda replied, a bit at ease. “But it helped with how shaken up I was from that Snark...” She then realized she had just messed up in a royal. Gilda could feel her heart in her chest stop for a moment as her eyes grew wide and wild. “The Snark?” Dr. Fluttershy added, and did not notice the look of terror at first. She quickly did, as the griffon let out a cry from her beak. That sound got the pony up from her desk, as she flew over faster that Gilda ever thought she would see the pegasus move. “Hey, hey!” Fluttershy yelped. “It’s ok, it’s ok.” She put her hooves on the shaking griffon, lifting the laying creature up as it only stuttered. “I’m sorry if it’s too hard for you!” Gilda was normally not up for being coddled like this, then again she was surprised she wasn’t struck dead. “J-just, j-ust...G-give me a moment.” Gilda answered the pegasus, still shaken. The pony let go after she secured her upright in the couch. “I can get you some water and…” Fluttershy about asked and the griffon quickly nodded. “I’ll be right back, just take a few deep breaths, ok?” She went upstairs for a moment, and soon after the griffon did a few breathing exercises, she was back down with a glass. Gilda drank and gasped a bit, and let out a sigh for a moment, then gave an answer. “It’s a thing, a friend, an imaginary friend, something I read in a book!” Gilda uttered in muddled jibbering. The look Fluttershy had was one of her own confusion that didn’t blink, which helped Gilda realize she had just rambled near nonsense. “It’s something…you don’t want I guess?” By then she found she was still stammering nonsense and face clawed. “Um, are you sure ok?” Dr. Shy asked, now holding the griffon’s claw. “We can stop for now and…” “No, I mean yes, I mean….” Gilda started, and took a few more breaths, only then finally noting her heart was still going normally. Not stopped, nor quaking. “I’m good, maybe, I guess.?” she added as her breathing slowed. Fluttershy had caught on quick just then. “Was that what you were running from Gilda?” she asked with genuine concern. “This Snark you saw?” “Kinda,” Gilda replied with clenched teeth, still uneasy. “I’m surprised it didn’t kill me.” “And that scares you?” Dr. Shy asked. Gilda didn’t answer that question, only just looking odd at the pony. “Why?” The griffon still didn’t answer. “I know why death is scary. Gilda, you know that.” Her hoof was on Gilda shoulder and her other hoof on the griffon chest. “It’s ok,” she said with genuine kindness. “Y-yeah...yeah,” Gilda then spoke, trying to feel some relief for a moment. “I-I know.” It still made her embarrassed, finding herself shivering like this in a mare's hooves. “And let go of me, alright?” she added bitterly, at last feeling firm again. “Are you sure?” Fluttershy asked, the griffon nodded. “Ok,” she replied softly, and the pony removed her hooves, but she still stayed next to her. “I’m doomed anyway…” Gilda said grimly. “Things won’t improve.” “You’ve been talking about how doomed you are for a while now, Gilda,” Dr. Shy counted sofly. “But when you talk about how doomed you are, and if you accepted it, why do you fear it?” The griffon had to stop then, looking down for a moment, trying to find and answer that question. She knew what it was to give up, then “The Snark” came to give her hope again. Then ponies started talking about hope as well. Then she got to know the Snark’s true cruelty and the ponies lack of clear answers to her problems. Gilda felt hopeless again as usual. Still, there was one thing that both hope arguments had given her. “Guess a stupid part of me thinks I can still come out on top despite all this,” Gilda finally replied, not even sure she believed it either. “It don’t make it true. Just another crazy, moronic thing like the rest of this stuff.” “Belief can be a strong thing, Gilda,” Shy said softly, trying to reassure the griffon. “Sometimes, the hope for a better world is better than having it.” “How?” Gilda asked, somewhat indignant. “That’s just cliche!” “Well….” While Fluttershy might have gone into some kind of explanation, the loud sound of a few knocks on Shy’s new door upstairs interrupted them. “Can you excuse me, Gilda?” She got up from the couch. “I’ll be right back, ok?” “Fine,” Gilda sighed back as she laid back down. “Whatever.” To be fair, it was kind of a relief. Fluttershy went upstairs as the griffon continued to sit. She was calm again, less shaken too seeing at she was still alive despite using that name. She still needed to be careful though, the Snark is only part of how things had gotten bad. A really horrible part as well. After several sounds of hoofsteps above, Shy came back down looking more than a little nervous. Gilda raised an eyebrow, now what was up today? “Um, Gilda?” Fluttershy said with a sheepish smile on, down right cud eating one too. “We need to talk.” Even Gilda knew by that look things had gone wrong again. “Oh no,” she said with annoyed despair for the upteenth time. “What now?”