Listen to Trixies most silly and intelligent tale. Of two urchins living in an alley. One was a bard, the other a thief. The bard was the elder, intelligent, great and powerful. The thief was a miser, brutish and dumb. They lived in Canterlot where they ruled the streets. Sneaking. Tricking. Performing and hunting.
One day whilst lounging in the sun, bard turned to the thief with a smile on her face. "Let me tell you, a bit of advice. I see how you steal, pillage and rut in the gardens of Celestia, princess of the sun. She's a cruel one. Who cares for no one, especially bards and thieves. She'll send guards to our alley, you'll reach for a weapon but it's too late. The eyes of the sun are upon you. She is so much smarter than you, one day you'll walk right into a trap."
The thief knew Celestia was wiser so nothing ever surprised her. She also knew that the bard thought herself smarter than the thief. Resentful she was at this arrogance, this powerful intellect.
So she struck with a hook, below the jaw. A series of blows to draw out the blood.
"Don't fuck with me. Don't speak about those who are greater than you. I see the deeper part of your advice."
"I never meant to sting you with my words.", the bard replied. "This one apologizes, she sees now that you are the teacher, here to instruct with violence."
The vagabond burglar loved the bards fear. Ignorant, she couldn't see the soul of the bard through her iris; couldn't see the resentment, deception and hate. A tyrant sun shone down to boil the blood that mixed with mud.
The bard grew hateful. Day after day the thief went to the garden to steal and pillage. Until one day, she was caught in the clutches a trap. By the hedgerows she grabbed at a bottle of wine and then she was sitting in a pit. Crying and screaming where she'd waste for days until she'd lay in state.
Attracted by the pain, a unicorn bard edged to the side of the pit. The bard cried and cried while the thief shared in her sadness which was of course false.
"Oh how my heart doth weep for my friend to see the way I am. Oh how I've known you are a truest friend to weep for me who is caught by the sun."
Crying became laughter which rained in the pit like hail. "I hate you. I hate you always. You are a tyrant to me. These are not tears of sorrow but of laughter. This one is kind and merciful though. Take my hoof so I can pull you out."
Thief never thought wisely, so she surprised the bard and pulled her into the pit. Rage then burned from her soul into her iris. Two now caught in the pit, a prison of foolishness and hate.
"You fool! You ignorant, savage thing! We are doomed. The great bard could have saved you and now you damn us both!"
The thief laughed and laughed and laughed. Sunlight crept in as a warning. The party had ended, it was time to leave.
Thief thought cleverly for once in her life. Deciding to play the princess gambit, she said. "If you let me stand on your back, I can make my escape. Your words stung me but we are bonded by hardship, the only friends in this world."
Shrewdly accepting the princess gambit, the bard allowed the thief to climb out of the pit. Reaching for a hoof to pull her out, hoof and centre were denied to her. "You will never escape. I know your true colours unicorn. Celestia will love another victim. A victim! To add to her dungeon."
"Please! It was bitterness, jealousy and rage! This bard is sorry! She repents! For the love of friendship, let us not be anethema to another. I have helped you so many times! "
Princess-side maneuvering failed to dislodge... The centre of hate in the young thief heart.
Thief stalked through the gardens of Celestia; under cover of wailing, foalish as it was, by the bard who was trapped in the princesses pit. The sun beat down upon her coat, sweating like a pig coming to the slaughter. Greedily eating from a larder, her hair stood up by its itty ibtty ends as the shadow of a princess crept up on her.
Running and panicking, no way to escape. She was a loose wheel bout to break, slithering like a snake though hedgerows. How could she escape the wisest, most ancient and powerful of solar mares? Cunning birthed through the head of conscience, a plan which was glorious divine.
At the pit then, extending her hoof. "The wrath of the sun is upon us. Take my hoof. Put trust in a thief one last time."
Separating then, the two split to opposite paths. Never to speak of trust and conflict. Never to speak to each other at all, preferring to hunt alone. Echoing throughout Canterlot was the mocking mirth of a tyrant sun.
So... How amazing was Trixie's tale?