"Today...is going to be a good day." said Sweetie to herself as she stared intensely at herself in her bedroom mirror.
"Today...is going to be a good day. You're going to meet with Twilight, get your lesson, and then come back and help Rarity with her special dresses. It's going to be a good day."
Sweetiebelle did this every morning to get herself ready to face the world. It was a her usual morning pep talk; encouragement to go into public and at least muster up what could be called happiness. She couldn't go into town not acting like happy. Too many ponies would question if something is wrong. She just wanted to keep to herself and not draw any attention to her true feelings. It was a daily, repetitive battle, but a necessary one.
She finishes up her morning motivational talk before going over to semi-empty closet and grabbing her light-purple collar with a heart charm and her book satchel. She walks to her bedroom door slowly and un-energetically. Before she she goes through she puts her hoof on her collar and breathes in a slow, deep breath.
"Today...is going to be a good day."
She finally opens her door and leaves to meet up with Twilight at her castle.
"So Sweetie, what have we learned today?" Twilight asked. Sweetie was sitting in a single desk in the middle of a huge, empty room. She thought about Twilight's question for a moment before giving her uncertain answer.
"That using magic to try to move while levitating to replicate the act of flight requires a large amount of concentration, magical stability, and focus on one's inner magical aura? Maybe?"
Twilight gave a sincere smile and trotted to her students desk.
"Be confident in your answers Belle. Even if they're wrong, which you aren't, there's no need to fret. You are learning some high level spells after all."
"Yeah. I guess"
Sweetie had been assigned to be taught under Twilight Sparkle over three years ago by Celestia herself. For what reason is unknown to her, but she was given the opportunity to get some high level education in the ways of magic. She refused at first, not wanting her life to change more than it already had prior to the offer, but her parents and Rarity thought that it would be an honor for her to be taught by the Princess of Friendship. Three years of being taught some of the hardest magical spells known to pony-kind would cause most to experience the worst stress and anxiety they would ever feel. Though, Sweetie seemed to do alright. In fact, she excelled. She was was able to cast complicated spells that would take a magic professional years of study and practice to didn't know how she could do these things, but she wasn't one to ignore the quick advancements she was making in school.
"Sweetie," Twilight began to say, "I'm going away to Canterlot to meet with Celestia. So there will be no lessons for the next two days."
Sweetie nodded, but didn't respond.
"I want you to go out and have some fun, okay? Maybe meet up with some your friends."
She nodded again, trying not to make eye contact with her as she packs her satchel. It's not that she didn't like Twilight. She was like a second sister. It's just that recently she's been trying to push Sweetie into making some new friends. It was a good effort, but she wasn't ready to meet new friends. She wasn't ready to move on yet; To forget them.
She puts on her satchel and gets ready to leave. Before she gets up from her desk Twilight rests her hoof on Belle's shoulder.
"You will try to go out and meet some ponies, right?"
No response
"I know it's hard to move on, but years of grieving and depression isn't going to do anything."
"I-I can't." She sadly stated.
"Yes you can, I know you can." Twilight walks over from beside her and tries to look the mare in the face. "They wouldn't want you like this. Nopony does."
No response was said.
"It doesn't have to be sometime soon. Just whenever you feel ready, okay?" Twilight asked softly to the young mare.
"...I have to go. I'll see you in a few days." Sweetie grabbed the remainder of her things and left quickly before Twilight could get another word in. Twilight sat there in there with worried eyes looking out at the young pony trying to escape her sorrow. She didn't know what to do about it. But more pressing matters had arose and she had to leave for Canterlot soon. If only she had more time.
"I hope she'll be able to figure something out on her own." She stands up off the floor, and leaves the room to prepare for her trip to Canterlot.
Running through the streets with tears blowing from her eyes, Sweetie went as fast as she could to return home. She didn't want to feel like this. Not again. She didn't want others to see her in distress and wonder if there's a problem. She just wanted to be alone. She didn't want anypony to be with; just herself. She just wanted to go to room and stay there until the feeling of loneliness and depression subsided. It always does; just like it has for the last 3 years.
Sweetie ran blindly through the streets with nothing but past events on her mind. All the things and events that have occurred in the last few years. All the work she's had to do. All of Twilight's pushing to move on! It was too much. "Why does she want me to forget them so much?" she asked herself. " I don't want too. she can't make me!" Unbenounced to Sweetie, a colt laid in her direct path. She crashes head on into him, distracted by her thoughts and they both stumble on the ground.
"Oooooww!" the boy let out. He rubbed the parts that got bruised in the collision and got up wobbling over his own hooves. He scans the area to see what him and sees the white mare whimpering the ground with her hooves covering her watering eyes. He walks over to see if she's alright.
"Ummm...excuse me," he sheepishly begins to say, "a-are you alright?"
Sweetie takes her hooves off her eyes and looks up to see the brown colt staring at her from above. She quick wipes away the tears and stands up to his level, acting like she's okay.
"Yeah. I'm fine." She replies. She gets up and grabs her satchel that fell off; getting ready to take off again.
"Sorry about knocking into you." She sorrowfully says before looking away from him and running off. The colt stood there dumbfounded and confused about the events that just happened. Just as he was about to trot off, a shiny glistening object caught the corner of his eye. He goes over to scavenge it and and finds Sweeties pink-charmed collar. He grabs it and looks to see where the girl went, but she had disappeared.
"I wonder who she is?" He asks, holding the collar in hoof. He trots off and goes to try and find Sweetie.