//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 // Story: To Judge A Book // by LickleSoxy //------------------------------// -o- There were an infinite number of words that could be used to describe Twilight Sparkle; unstable was not one of them. Sure, she'd had her fair share of lapses in judgement, but they never occurred often. Overreacting over the tiniest thing was something Rarity did far more than Twilight, and no one questioned the unicorn's ability to keep a hold of herself in unusual situations. Everypony lost a bit of sanity sometimes, didn't they? Was it wrong to act as though the world were ending, when reality was much less dramatic? Twilight huffed out a mirthless laugh. Comparing herself to other ponies was not going to do her much good. It was only natural for cracks to appear in her control every now and again; who could blame her when the occasional tear burst open into a massive hole? She closed her eyes. Right now, she was a wreck, and no matter how much she wanted to rationalise her thoughts and actions, she couldn't. Her mane was perfectly neat, with not a strand of hair out of place; her features were aglow with a well practiced calm. Her legs were stiff and unmoving, her stance bold, and her posture flawless. Inside, she was burning. Her chest felt as though it were being hammered with a force too great, and sweat was building up around her neck and brow, almost certainly due to the heat beneath her skin. With a dry mouth and parched lips, every breath was hot and heavy. A cringe marred her face. She didn't remember her home being this warm. Had somepony cast a spell on it, hoping to cook her alive? Opening her eyes, Twilight sneered. How stupid could she be? What was she thinking? No one wanted to cause her harm. She was allowing her mind to conjure up ridiculous ideas. Letting the irrational part of her consciousness take over was not beneficial to her well being. So... Why did she always seem to allow it access to her most nightmarish fears? She needed to stay focused. Snorting out a grunt, she lifted her chin and stared straight ahead. Her journey back to Ponyville had not taken too long - flying had been a good strategy, considering how slow the trains could be. Her arrival here had not been met with cheers or celebrations, because nobody cared that she was home. All her friends were undoubtedly in Canterlot by now - was she a coward for not waiting to greet them? - and Spike was probably off having a nap somewhere. But then, she hadn't come here expecting a warm welcome. Twilight had come to her castle for a specific purpose, and she would not let idle paranoia keep her from the task she had assigned herself. Deciding to try out some experiments had been a brilliant idea, but now she had to find a way of actually creating said tests. Initially, she'd wanted to see if Spike could truly see colours that her eyes were incapable of picking up on. Though... How could she go about producing a hue that she could not see? Where would she start? First, she would need to know exactly what the colours were, and how they appeared naturally on the planet, and then she would require a method of actually replicating the various shades and hues with her magic. Of course, there was always another way; she could ask Spike to follow her around Ponyville as she pointed at various objects, while making him describe what they looked like. That wouldn't really be useful, would it? What if, after countless hours of nonsensical trotting, it turned out that every colour present in Ponyville could be seen by ponies? What if the only colours she couldn't see were hidden away somewhere, lost in a dark corner of the world? She couldn't possibly search the entire planet, hoping that she'd get lucky. That would be silly. Therefore, a more viable series of tests was desired. Pursing her lips, Twilight lit up her horn and picked up the first book on her library's shelf. Once again, she was resorting to these ancient stories and documents to help her gain some answers. Though, that was what they were for, correct? Blowing out a sigh, she opened the cover and began scanning the contents. It was going to be a very long afternoon. -o- The liquid was cold; its surface had long ago stopped producing steam. Lacking milk made its colour darker, more solid, though that added nothing to its desirability. If left for a great length of time, it would begin to cloud with dust, creating a mixture that was beyond inedible. Celestia had been staring down at the cup of tea for at least ten minutes, silently gazing into its centre, as though some fantastic secret was held within its form. She had still not taken a single sip of it. Downing the drink now would be pointless, as her tongue would reject the flavour and temperature, dubbing them incorrect. Were the snobbish judgements of her taste buds an indicator of her character as a whole? Celestia's eyes narrowed marginally. A solitary sound was constant in her ear - the beat of her heart - and its companionship had been her only comfort since everyone had vacated the room earlier. Its tempo was slow and steady, its thudding quiet and relaxed, but the rattle scorching throughout her body defied all logical sense. It seemed that the organ wished to be free of her anxious soul. She breathed deeply. Longing for the company of another, she prayed that someone would enter her personal space, offering speech and play and laughter. A tease from her sister would do, or perhaps a discussion with Applejack about the joys of hard labour. Anything to occupy her thoughts would be a bonus; the desire for normal, common activities pushed at her mind, calling for immediate attention. Her body was not complying to her inner pleads for socialisation. No words seemed able to escape her lips... But even if they could, what would be the point? She was not willing to move from this spot at her table. Luna would not seek her out to have a conversation, and the other ponies... Well, she honestly didn't know what they were up to. All she knew was the fact that she wanted one of them - just one - to be here with her, sitting in this room, to provide a way for the confusion to be removed from her thoughts, if just for a moment. Was it unfair to wish that Twilight had never found that book? Was it selfish to want the information it had held to be removed from her memory? Celestia's vision blurred as her focus on the tea began to deteriorate. There was a possibility that the data was wrong, yet a nagging guilt had etched itself into her subconscious. Ever since Twilight had revealed that startling piece of information in her outburst, the disgusting feeling had not faded even a small amount. Receiving a letter from the young princess, explaining her intentions and desires to get concrete proof that the book was either fictional or factual, had done absolutely nothing to ease Celestia's negative emotions. Her faith in Twilight was undeniable; she knew that Twilight would do all that was necessary to either prove or disprove the book's words. What was bothering Celestia, what truly set her teeth on edge, was the belief that Twilight's escapades would reveal that the book's contents were indeed truthful. How could the information be a lie? The more Celestia thought about it, the more it made sense. The bewildering pieces of history that made up Discord's life connected together perfectly if the ageing process was added to the puzzle. He had always been different, and not merely in terms of maturity. Since their very first encounter, right until this present day, she'd had a question at the back of her mind; it pertained to his height. She was older than him - there was no doubt in her mind, as she had pried his birth date from his lips after countless years of prodding, long before his initial downfall and betrayal - and they hadn't been very old when they'd met. Even then, being a young filly, she'd thought his size was peculiar. Discord had been larger than her, of course, since his species appeared to be naturally bigger anyway, but after a few years or so, there had been a distinct lack of physical change in him. Whereas she had become taller, with longer wings, legs, broader shoulders, and a sleeker, adult body, his growth had seemed so much slower. There was a time, she could recall, when she had been taller than him. Celestia fought to hold in the curse that wanted to escape. How could she have not found that significant? How had she not taken notice? Perhaps she had always pinned it down to the fact that he was a unique being; one that she could never hope to fully comprehend. Just because his rate of growth was varied from that of a common pony, did not mean it wasn't normal for his kind. The question was: Had he stopped growing yet? She bit her lip as she tried to concentrate. Had he grown in the past couple of millennia? Yes, obviously. He towers over me now.. She shook her head. Patronising herself was not going to give her the answers she wanted. "Princess?" Pulling her abruptly from her train of thoughts, the word was spoken with a nervousness that she had come to recognise over the past few years. The tone lacked confidence, and the pitch was light and frail, as though the speaker was going to break apart any second. Finally managing to move her attention away from the cup placed in front of her, Celestia turned her head and blinked down at her intruder. Concern filled her instantly. "Yes, Fluttershy?" Despite her dry throat, the question came out clearly. Streaks of moisture were still present on the young mare's cheeks. Her nose was a delicate pink, probably from the abuse it had endured from a vast amount of tissues. The posture she'd adopted was as low as possible, almost as if she desperately wanted to disappear into the floor below. "Rainbow Dash said that... that Twilight was going t- to do some experiments to see if what the book says is true?" she asked, struggling to keep her tears at bay. Regardless, the volume of her question was high, showing a strength that Celestia admired. She smiled kindly, though it took effort to keep the expression in place. "That is correct, my little pony. She wishes to find proof as to whether it is fiction or not." Fluttershy's mouth quivered. "Will it hurt?" Oh. That was the problem? Celestia's smile became much more genuine. Fluttershy was worried that her friend was going to come to harm, but the concern was unprecedented. No, Celestia did not know what Twilight was planning to do, but she had known the purple alicorn long enough to understand that she would never intentionally create an experiment that would cause pain. "I have no doubt that Twilight will be as safe as possible when it comes to his well being. You have nothing to worry yourself over, Fluttershy." And wasn't that a total lie? Once again, a battle had to be undertaken to keep her expression friendly. Each of them had something to be concerned about if Twilight's results came back in favour of the book. Fortunately, she now had a distraction to keep her from dwelling on that possibility. "Is there something else troubling you?" Fluttershy did not look happy; that was a complete understatement. She was visibly shaking, and she was refusing to meet Celestia's gaze. Something was amiss; she had a feeling that it was not entirely down to her worries about Discord's personal safety. "Fluttershy?" she said, urging the pony to speak up. "I..." Fluttershy swallowed, before raising her head slightly. "I'm supposed to be going on a trip with him tomorrow," she admitted, her features twisting in uncertainty. Celestia resisted the flinch that tried to manifest itself into reality. That was unfortunate. Standing up, she manoeuvred herself smoothly around the table, coming to a stop just inches in front of the cowering pegasus. Placing a hoof under Fluttershy's chin - and silently thanking the sun that her leg did not tremble - she lifted Fluttershy's head until their eyes were locked. Her tight smile was back in full force. "Then you go and have fun with him. Treat him no differently than you would normally. Remember, he is still the Discord we both know, and that this information could just be a misunderstanding. Even if it is not, it does not change anything." The sentences were powerful. It was just too bad that she didn't believe them herself. -o-