“My friends, you know why you are here,” Celestia says, a firm tone in her voice, “A stranger has come into our world. He seems harmless enough, but we can never be sure. He calls himself Robert Wolfe. A human I believe he said.”
Seven ponies sit around a large golden round table. Three of them wear crowns on their heads. A small purple dragon sits beside the smaller of the three princesses on a small wooden chair. A midnight blue Alicorn sits beside her porcelain white sister. The other five ponies are the former bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Not quite royalty, but just barely. A few days prior, during a nasty lightning storm, a strange creature knocked on the doors of Castle Twilight Sparkle, naked and cold. The princess gave him shelter and a large blanket as a coat, but kept wary of him. The next day, she brought him, her five closest friends, and her advisor to the highest ruling being of the land, Celestia. The creature was sitting outside the meeting room, cloaked in a large quilt and rapidly-made shoes. Guards were trained on him, ready for any move he might make. He sat quietly with his fingers interlocked.
Princess Twilight Sparkle was the first to speak.
“He seems to be just as confused as we are. I had a long time to talk with him. He even started crying.”
“It’s an easy act to fake,” spoke Princess Luna, “Any simpleton could fake a few tears.”
“Actually, princess,” said Applejack in her thick southern drawl, “I was watchin’ him while y’all were talkin’ with him. He seemed pretty genuine-ta me.”
“As was Discord to us,” said the lunar princess. The room fell silent for a moment. After a short time, Princess Celestia spoke again.
“Let’s discuss his race,” she said, placing a gold-clad hoof on the table.
“He seemed like some type of ape,” said Fluttershy the Element of Kindness quietly, “Like a chimpanzee, only much bigger and without any fur. Except on his head.”
“I agree," said Celestia, “On his world- Earth I believe he called it- humans may have evolved to the point where fur and sharp teeth are no longer required. Though I ponder the point of a bipedal stance.”
“We should note the technological advances of his kind,” said Twilight, “He said something earlier about ‘cars.’ That they work something like carriages, only fuel-powered.”
“What kind of weapons do you think they have?” asked Spike, the little dragon. Princess Luna tensed up at this question, and her elder sister noticed this. She spoke quietly to her.
“He has none here, sister.” This reassurance seemed to work, as Luna’s shoulders dropped a little. “They have most likely evolved quite a bit,” she said a little louder, “If their sharp canines have gone.”
“And we have no idea whether or not they’re a peaceful species,” said Rainbow Dash, fluttering her wings a bit, “They could be bent on conquering worlds or something like that. We don’t know.” Beside the sky-blue Pegasus sat a bubble gum pink Earth pony, her brow furrowed and her lips pouted upwards. Her hoof stroked her beard, which was actually just her hair pulled down to her chin. She wore a golden monocle on her left eye.
“Miss Pie,” Celestia said softly, a warm smile on her face, “Have you anything to add?” Pinkie Pie, continued to stroke her pseudo-beard in thought. Suddenly, she leaped up onto the table and threw aside her monocle.
“He’s a HUNK!” she exclaimed, propping herself on her two front hooves. Her hind legs came down gently on the table as every pony and dragon in the room stared at her. After a few moments, her wide smile shrunk into a nervous one. “A. . . hunk of. . . ape?”
“Pinkie,” whispered Rainbow Dash. Pinkie looked at her. “Sit down.” Pinkie slumped back into her seat.
“Yeah.”
“Anyway,” spoke Applejack, eyeing her pink friend, “Givin’ we let him stay with us, where’n tarnation’d he stay?” Celestia pondered this for a moment.
“Miss Rarity,” she said, turning to the alabaster Unicorn, “You’ve been awfully quiet.” Rarity looked at the princess, and then at the table.
“I’m sorry. Just lost in thought I suppose.”
“On what? Gonna make him a dress?” Rainbow Dash asked across the table. Rarity immediately fumed.
“Oh, please! A dress on his form? A suit and a tie would look simply stunning on a figure such as his! The bipedal form is one I’ve always wanted to work arou--”
“Enough!” yelled Princess Luna, stomping her hoof on the table and startling the ponies, “These conversations have been going nowhere. We’ve yet to decide on any single thing about this creature.”
“Agreed,” said Celestia with a small nod.
“Then why not just vote?” asked the baby dragon, “It’ll be faster.” Again, Celestia nodded.
“Does that sound alright?” she asked the ponies. They all nodded in compliance. “Very well then. All in favor of allowing the human to be with us?”
“Aye,” said Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Spike.
“Opposed?”
“Nay,” said Luna and Rainbow Dash (Rainbow Dash was quite a bit louder though).
“Miss Fluttershy?” Fluttershy paused, and then quietly said:
“Aye.”
“Very well. The human stays in Equestria. All in favor of the human staying under constant surveillance?”
“Aye,” said all in attendance, except the yellow Pegasus. She looked at the ground unsurly, then said softly:
“Aye. . . I guess. . .”
“Very well,” Celestia said once again.
“Now comes the question of who will house the beast,” said Luna, the last word said with a bit of disgust.
“Luna,” said Celestia sternly, “The human has committed no crimes. He will be treated as a guest until proven otherwise.”
“As you wish,” said Luna, “But my query still stands.”
“I think it should be Fluttershy,” yelled Rainbow Dash, “She takes care of monkeys all the time!.” At this, Fluttershy shrunk into her seat.
“Um. . . Uh- Uhh. . .” Fluttershy stammered.
“I think she should,” said Applejack, “She knows howta take care of critters.” Fluttershy continued her broken speech.
“Fluttershy,” said Celestia softly, “If you do not wish to house this human, you are not in any way required.” Fluttershy ceased her stuttering and looked up at the princess, then looked down at the table. After a few moments and much pondering, she spoke.
“Um. . . I. . . I’ll take care of him.” A few ponies sighed, some because the human had a place to stay, some because they didn’t have to house him.
“Good,” said Celestia as she nodded. “Now comes his clothing.” At once everypony looked at Rarity. “I assume you wouldn’t want him to run around in a blanket and slippers.”
“Absolutely not!” yelled Rarity as she laid a hoof on her chest, “That would be absurd! Poor thing. I will get to work the moment I get home!” Applejack and Twilight chuckled to themselves.
“I’ll help you!” said Spike hastily. Celestia tried to hide a chuckle herself.
“Then we have that settled,” she said, amused.
“Wait,” Rainbow Dash piped in, “What do huh-mens even eat?”
“Apes are omnivores,” said Twilight, raising a hoof. Rainbow Dash stared at her blankly.
“Meaning,” said Fluttershy softly, “They eat plants as well as meat.” Everyone in the room save Fluttershy and Spike shuddered at the thought of the human chasing down his prey and feasting on it like a wild beast, drinking its blood.
“Er. . . Well, I suppose Miss Fluttershy has omnivorous pets. It should be of no hassle,” said Celestia.
“Of course! I have bears and monkeys and all kinds of animals!” Fluttershy exclaimed softly. Celestia smiled.
“I believe that covers just about everything. We will have to schedule a meeting with all of the mayors of Equestria to aid in the human’s induction.”
“Wait, sister,” said Luna hastily, “There will be no induction. The human will not be staying with us. I will head the research to get it home. I’ve sat idle this whole meeting, but I’m putting my hoof down now.”
“Luna,” Celestia began.
“No, Celestia. The creature returns home as soon as possible. Princess Sparkle, you will aid me in my research.” Twilight shifted a little then nodded. “I shall gather Equestria’s top scientists. The ape should be home in no more than a few months.”
“As you wish,” Celestia said pushing her seat from the table, “I will send the word out at once.” The sun princess stood tall.
“Meeting dismissed.”