✶ ✶ ✶
“Rarity, this is ridiculous,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. The ground floor of the Ponyville palace was ominously deserted, save for the two of them, and she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind.
“Now, now, Twilight, there is no need to be such a boor,” Rarity insisted. “As a princess, or whatever it is you are—”
“Archlibrarian,” Twilight clarified with a groan.
“Yes, that,” Rarity said with a tinge of distaste on her tongue as one does when presented with someone who is living out your dream in the most awkward way possible. “As royalty, you have an obligation to do these sorts of things for the betterment of your subjects.”
“Can’t I just donate?” Twilight asked with a lacklustre hope. “That’s an option, right? I don’t really have to do this meaningless nonsense, do I?”
“Twilight!” Rarity gasped. “How could you even suggest such a thing? This is for the sake of awareness! Surely your own contribution is important, but the archlibrarian of Libraritopia—”
“Libraropolis,” Twilight interrupted harshly.
“The archlibrarian of Libraropoli—” Rarity continued, only to snicker in the middle of doing so. She quickly recomposed herself, pressing her lips together tightly. “Sorry, dear, I seem to have gotten something in my throat. Yes, as I was saying—a mare in your position can not seriously be against the proper education of the public.”
“But it’s pointless, Rarity,” Twilight whined in a most unbecoming manner. “It literally serves no purpose.”
“Twilight Sparkle, you are doing this if I have to drag you out there and lift the bucket myself,” Rarity insisted, refusing to budge an inch on the matter. “Your subjects have already been gathered to see you in all of your wet-maned glory.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes and frowned. “You realize that they’re technically not even my subjects, right?” she asked, more out of stubborn pedantry than actual opposition by this point. “Literally every other city in equestria has more Libraropolean citizens than Ponyville. Also—I don't think my mane can actually get wet. Just putting that out there.”
“Oh poppycock,” Rarity said, waving the matter aside with her hoof before proceeding to push Twilight towards the large double doors. “You have an Equestrian title and a position as the residing alicorn of Ponyville.”
“Betrayed by technically correct information,” Twilight groused. “If only my mother could see me now.”
“She can!” Rarity huffed as she continued to push Twilight forward. “She came down from Canterlot just to watch.”
“Oh tartarus no,” Twilight swore, suddenly scrambling to dig in her hooves, but even actively backpedaling was useless between the polished crystal floor of her palace and the determination of a friend who wanted to humiliate her in front of a large crowd.
“I really don’t see why you’re set on making this so difficult,” Rarity grunted as Twilight’s hooves came to a stop against the large double doors which made up the main entrance to the palace. “Luna jumped at the chance to participate.”
Twilight blinked, turning her head to look at Rarity without removing her hooves from the door. “Wait, Luna is—?”
Rarity nodded. “She has graciously volunteered to be the, ah, bucketeer, as it were.”
Suddenly, the limbs holding Twilight back from the door went slack, and she sighed. “Oh, fine,” she grumbled. “Let’s get this over with.”
Without another word, Rarity set her jaw, lit her horn, unlatched the door and gave Twilight one last push out onto the large plateau at the top of the steps in front of the palace.
Twilight stumbled a few steps and came to a halt. The crowd was enormous, reminiscent of the first day she had been revealed as an alicorn in Ponyville. She briefly reflected that then, too, had Rarity pushed her out into the street and into the jaws of her adoring fans, as had Rainbow Dash, for that matter. You would think that Twilight had something against crowds.
She didn’t, really. Twilight was well practiced when it came to public speaking, though usually she had a speech—notes, flash cards, something to remind her what to say. Lacking those things, she took a deep breath to buy herself a second as the crowd looked on in deathly silence.
Her brief window of hesitation come and gone, she prepared the traditional Ponyville librarian voice, and spoke. “Citizens of Ponyvphblblrmrh—” she began, only for her announcement to be interrupted by the sudden and unexpected introduction of about two-hundred litres of ice and water to her head.
She stood there dripping for a moment before a quick glance up revealed Luna accompanied by a Rainbow Dash who was having trouble containing her laughter and staying aloft at the same time. Eventually, she failed at both, and the break in silence resulted in a loud cheer from the crowd.
“That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” Rarity asked from behind Twilight, stepping gingerly to avoid any of the actual ice. She made to pat Twilight on the back, but pulled her hoof back as she thought better of it. “How do you feel?”
“Like an immortal, unfeeling goddess made of stars,” Twilight flatly stated.
Rarity blinked. “What?”
“You realize I fell asleep in the snow, once, right?” Twilight asked. “That is a thing I did. Twice, actually, now that I think about it.”
“Err, no, I don’t believe I heard about that,” Rarity responded with a frown. “That makes this kind of—”
“Pointless, yes, I said as much,” Twilight was saying, when she was startled by a second splash of water behind her.
“Huzzah!” Luna shouted from above. “The ice buckets have been doubled!”
Twilight froze, and slowly turned her head to see a very shocked—and very cold, and very wet—Rarity standing with her mouth agape. Almost immediately, her mouth snapped shut into a vicious snarl.
“Run,” someone said.
And they did.