"Good News, we're at the final chapter, bad news, it's G3.5." Brak announced.
"At least it ins't Newborn Cuties."
"Yeah, what the hell Newborn Cuties? Those effects were incredibly cheap, and what was with the bad movement of the characters? Was Hasbro beta testing on computer animation or something?" Brak ranted.
"So, who's the last of this trilogy to be shipped with Spike?" Asked Trixie.
"Hmm...we got a dragoness named...Whimsey Weatherbe?"
"Oh, where she lives, she has the ability to make the weather hot & cold." explained Luna.
"You're hot & your cold, your yes & you're no, you're in & you're out, you're up & you're down!"
"NO! Quit singing Brak!" Both yelled.
"Ahem!" Said a very bitter voice.
"S...sister..."
"I'm trying to get some good night's sleep because I have a meeting with the Saddle Arabians & Maretonians tomorrow, and your constant yelling is keeping me from that! So, either keep it down, or I cancel the Pimp Spike's Swag Series!" Celestia threatened with eyes that burn like quadrillion red stars. "Do I make myself clear Luna?"
"Yes dear sister."
"Good."
*Slam!*
Then Luna began shaking in the fetal position in the corner.
"Begin the story while we try to calm Luna down."
Spike and his friends were visiting the G3.5 world to study their living wishing star: Twinkle Wish. Spike was told of a dragon in the mountains, and decided to see what she is like. He took a hot air balloon with Twilight because she was curious about her as well, a dragon who controls weather. Spike & Twilight had made it to this dragoness' cave and entered.
"This should be the place." Twilight said. She then knocked on a wall. "Hello? Whimsey Weatherbe?"
"Who's this voice? I thought I met every pony in Ponyville." Then emerged from another room...an orange dragon with blue eyes, brown curled hair, yellow spines and belly, a blue bow, and purple angel wings. She was taller than Big Mac. "Oh, you're definitely different to all of the ponies I've met so far, I'm Whimsey Weatherbe."
"I, am Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship." Twilight introduced.
"And I am her Number one Assistant Spike the Dragon." Spike introduced.
"Ooh, a Princess, and a dragon." Then she curtsied.
"Oh, there's no need for that, your friendship is enough."
"Oh, hahahaha, thank you Princess."
"Twilight will be fine."
"As you wish you highness." she joked.
Then all 3 laughed.
"And hello to you little baby." Then she picked Spike up and lifted her to meet her face. "Boy, your parents must really approve of this journey to a land across the seas." She said.
"Well..."
"Yes, I did approve of him coming along." Twilight said.
"What?"
"I'm adopted." Spike told her.
"Must have been pretty difficult to raise him during the toddler stage." She replied while still holding Spike.
"Nope, my teacher took care of him for a while before making me the mother." Twilight said.
"Well, that was nice of her, to take care of the terrible 2's." She joked.
"Please, don't say that, I've devoted my life to extinguishing every last baby picture." Spike said embarrassed, while puffing his cheeks.
"Aww, your son is so cuuuute." Then she hugged him. Then when she broke the hug, Spike stared deep into her blue eyes, and there was something he felt in his heart from looking into those eyes, that he hasn't felt since the day he saw the blue eyes of another, and speaking of dragons and blue eyes...did you know that Blue Eyes White Dragon was originally a woman?! Yeah, a woman with blue eyes possessed a statue the statue came to life, and became Blue Eyes White Dragon. Anyways, sorry for going off on a tangent there.
"(What was that? Those eyes...just as cute as Rarity's...maybe even...NO, NO, NO, not that, I'm not falling for another dragon, that is just cliche...though Porky Pig, was stopped mid sentence when he met Petunia pig at an old friend's wedding.)"
"What's wrong little guy? You seem uncertain about something."
"What? No, I'm fine."
Then she put Spike down.
"So Princess, what do I owe the honor of this visit?"
"I want to study your breath."
So the day went on with Twilight studying the heat & frost power of Whimsey's breath, impressed by the complete climate change. Spike staring awkwardly at Whimsey.
"(Come-on Spike, do not fall for another dragon!)"
As the day went on, Twilight & Whimsey had finished their study.
"Alright, I'm finally done with my research, come-on Spike, let's head back....Spike?"
*Snore* *Snore* *Snore* Gimme Moore* *Snore*
"Huh, well we are in a cave. Whimsey, could you watch Spike?"
"Okay, have a good night Twilight Sparkle, I'll be bringing Spike with me 1st thing in the morning."
"Glad to hear, make sure he's safe."
What? You want a sleeping baby dragon to slip off of her back while she's flying down the mountains? Spike shared the bed with Whimsey.
"Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bug yah." She whispered.
"Gna...don't fall for another dragon, you like ponies...nya mya...*snore*"
"Don't fall for another dragon?" She said to herself.
Whimsey then lied on her back, and looked up to the ceiling.
"(Wonder if I can have my very own baby like Twilight has.)" She then looked at the clock.
*Snore* "Whimsey is so cute...no, Spike, you love Rarity's blue eyes, not Whimsey's...nyum num...*snore*"
(He likes me? I knew it, I really do have the cutest bluest eyes, wait, I really shouldn't kiss him, but...)" Then without thinking to lower her voice..."THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO GUYS HERE!!!"
"Whoa!"
"Oh, Spike...sorry if I startled yah."
"No problem...wait, why are we in bed together?"
"You fell asleep, and I guess Twilight didn't want to carry a sleeping child her back."
"Oh."
"Yeah, we'll be down there in Ponyville 1st thing in the morning."
" *Yawn!* Oh, that's good to know, so what were you yelling about? No guys or something?"
"Yes, no drakes, no stallions, not even a creature of the male gender! What?! Are they all magical lesbian spawn?"
"Some theorize that each stallions do the same thing the G1 stallions do, migrate and then come back once a year before migrating again."
"Bullshit! E-excuse my language Spike."
"It's fine Whimsey, my friend says it a lot."
Meanwhile...
"Achoo!" Went Rainbow Dash.
"Oh Spike, I wish at least one guy could live here in this land, at least one!" She complained.
"Well, maybe I could live here once I'm all grown up."
"You really feel like living here?"
"Yeah, the ponies all stared at me because they have never seen a male in their life before. I can begin making that Ponyville a co-ed society."
"I like the way you think, maybe you could even find a gal your age."
"Oh-no, ever since I came here, I..."
"You were considering me?"
"How did you..."
"You talk in your sleep."
Spike then darted his eyes away.
"Oh, then you heard me talk about...you?"
"Yes, but are you okay with older ladies?"
"Yeah, I've been in love with one for years, but she'd never look my way for some reason."
"Well, the fact that you're a sweet guy makes me look your way."
"You really think so?"
"I'm sure about it..."
Spike was about to go in for a kiss, but a claw was put to his lips.
"Grow-up into a handsome drake 1st, alright?"
"Heh heh, okay." Then they hugged.
So as the years went on, Spike became an adult, and finally decided that it was not time for him to return to Whimsey Weatherbe. His friends approved of this choice. Though Twilight was having trouble letting go of his foot, but everyone helped ease her pain. So Spike flew back to the one waiting for her. When he returned the ponies welcomed him with open hooves, and Spike moved in with Whimsey. Though they did have to move to a much bigger cave which fortunately was closer to Ponyville because Whimsey was in heat when he came back and they needed the big space for kids.
"Not a very good story, but hey, at least Spike doesn't have any competition when he goes to G3.5, BECAUSE THERE ARE NO DICKS IN G3.5...wait a minute...no guys? A land of only women waiting to feel the warm seed of a guy? Aw-man, I want that kind of kingdom!"
"Bring the next letter while we beat-up fappy Brak." Said Trixie.
"No wait, have mercy!"