//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4: Dafter 
// Story: The Elegance of Morons 
// by FrontSevens 
//------------------------------//

Luna stopped to take another break. She wished she had brought water with her out here in the forest. For now, she had to make do with swallowing her saliva and pretending it was water, which was kinda gross and didn’t really help anyway, but she had no other choice.
 
Stones were heavy. Rolling them wasn’t easy, and her shoulders and back were starting to complain. It was possible that these stones in particular were heavy because they were holding in so much untapped magical potential. All the more reason to get these rocks to safety.
 
Luna turned around to see her progress. She was halfway between where she had started and the base of the castle bridge. Decent progress, considering she’d rolled stones for half the morning, but still not nearly as far as it felt. She stretched out her shoulders and sagged.
 
“You need help there, kiddo?”
 
Discord’s voice was a relief. Luna turned to see him sitting in midair in a small folding chair. He folded his hands behind his head as he let out a long yawn. “I feel the need to intervene. Your plot’s dragging and your stellar supporting actor isn’t getting enough screen time.”
 
Luna smirked. “Does that mean you’ll help?”
 
He put his hands on his hips. “Well, we wouldn’t want you to suffer the same fate as the pony who was charged with rolling a boulder uphill and watching it roll back down for eternity, would we?”
 
Luna knew exactly which pony Discord was referring to, but couldn’t quite remember his name. Oh, yes, that’s the one. “You mean Sissyface?”
 
Discord chuckled. “Close enough.”
 
He hopped up and took two of the rocks, one in each hand, and rolled them along the path at the same pace as Luna. They continued to roll stones right up until noon.
 
Discord made it into a sort of a game. A couple times they held races to see who could roll a rock the fastest to the next tree or funny-looking boulder. Discord would usually take the lead but get too tired near the end, letting Luna pull out ahead.
 
Sometimes he would roll a rock by picking it up and somersaulting, once doing this with Luna. A surge of giddy wooziness rushed through her as the world spun around her. Discord released her, and though she could barely keep from tipping over, she pleaded for him to do it again.
 
Partly, Discord was having fun, but he was also stalling. Celestia was still in Luna’s room, rushing through the journal, practicing spells to flaunt at her date that night. When Discord and Luna rolled the stones all the way up to the bridge, Discord discretely wrote and teleported a note to Celestia, warning that Luna was soon to return to the castle.
 
Once they crossed the bridge, Luna realized how tired she had become. It was one thing to roll rocks for an hour, but it was another to roll them up the one remaining hill to the castle. She tried, but her hooves and shoulders and arms seemed to be failing her.
 
“Feeling a little winded?” Discord asked. He snapped his fingers, teleporting all six rocks from the bottom of the hill to the castle door.
 
“Thank you,” Luna said, rubbing her sore muscles. She walked up the hill with Discord. “Wait, why didn’t you just poof these rocks to the castle in the first place?”
 
A pair of glasses appeared at the end of his nose, and he pushed them up with his pinky. “Professionals, such as myself, do not ‘poof’; they teleport.” He tossed his glasses down the gorge. “And I’m not going to ‘poof’ them to the castle, as you say, because that would be cheating, child.”
 
Child. Sombra had called her that. Luna cringed and turned around, on a whim that perhaps Sombra was behind her, watching her, waiting for her to give him an answer about his proposal with that unbreaking, smoke-seeping stare of his.
 
“Y’know, you’ve got that look,” Discord said, folding his arms.
 
Seeing no one behind them, Luna turned to Discord. “What look?”
 
“That troubled sort of look,” Discord said, swooshing down on to the ground and holding his head in his hands. “That look that says you want to talk about something.”
 
Luna looked down at the ground and nodded. “I met someone today.”
 
“Oh, did you?”
 
“Yeah,” she said. “He said his name was Sombra.”
 
Discord stroked his beard. “Is that so?” He had thought of all sorts of possible scenarios for the meeting of Sombra and Celestia, but not of Sombra and Luna. This would be interesting. “What was he like?”
 
“He, uh…” Luna kicked a pebble, watching it skitter along the path. “I don’t like him.”
 
Discord swirled up to the castle door, setting his talon on the handle. “Is that so? How curious.”
 
“Huh?” Luna walked up to the door. “What do you mean?”
 
Discord put a finger to his lips, then slowly and silently opened the door. Luna peered in, careful that her hooves didn’t make too much noise on the stonework.
 
Celestia danced in the foyer to her own mental music, her eyes closed as she sashayed about. “Hm bah-dah-dee, dee la-dah-doo,” she hummed before twirling around and leaning on the plinth in the middle of the room. She then glided over to a statuesque guard and pretended to waltz with him.
 
Luna looked up at Discord. She didn’t quite understand, but she had a very bad feeling that her intuition was right. Discord confirmed it. “Sombra is Celestia’s new squeeze.”
 
Luna’s stomach got queasy again.
 
Celestia noticed Luna and Discord at the door. She stopped dancing and leaned against the plinth like she hadn’t just run there from Luna’s room five minutes ago. “Oh, good afternoon.”
 
Luna didn’t say anything in response. To think that Tia was in love with Sombra, who was dark and creepy and weird, made Luna feel sick. She turned and started rolling the elements in one by one.
 
Discord saluted. “Afternoon, your highness. You seem to be in high spirits.”
 
“I’m having a wonderful day,” Celestia said. “Did Luna keep out of trouble?”
 
Luna cringed. Celestia seemed cockier now that she had met Sombra, almost like she was openly flaunting in front of everyone and focusing it on Luna. She was afraid to speak up about, mainly because Celestia was in charge and wouldn’t hesitate to tell on her. Keeping her head down, she ignored her sister and continued to push the elements.
 
Discord spoke in her place. “Indeed she did. I hope Tricia was as pleasant to accompany as Luna,” Discord said, reaching out to stroke his pet when she came gibbering up to him. He looked past Celestia, noticing a pony sitting quietly in the corner, holding a piece of parchment in her magic and scribbling away. “I see the Royal Caricaturist has arrived,” Discord said, waggling his fingers at her. “Spice it up, darling, and try drawing me symmetrically.”
 
The pony had an ivory coat with minty green hair, wearing a humble cloak outfitted with pockets for scrolls and quills. “Yes, um, hi,” the pony said as she scribbled some more.
 
Celestia spun around. “Who are you?”
 
“Clover, your highness,” she said, glancing from her scroll to the princess and swallowing. She did a short bow. “I was told that the scribe was to write down everything the princess said.”
 
Celestia felt afraid to even ask. “What do you have so far?”
 
Clover reviewed her notes carefully. “Lots of ‘hmm’s, mostly. A few ‘la-dah-dee’s as well.” She kept unrolling the scroll. “Some ’diddly-doo’s…”
 
Luna hid a laugh as best as she could. Celestia felt her cheeks get warm as she snatched the scroll from Clover’s grasp, rolled it up, and catapulted it out the door. “That didn’t count. We order thee to start over.”
 
“O-okay.” Clover pulled a blank scroll out of her pocket. The guard who hired her had told her to bring many. “Yes ma’am—I mean, your highness.” With fresh ink in her quill, she jotted down the date and ‘That didn’t count. We order thee to start over.’
 
Luna paused in rolling the rocks, seeing Clover hide behind her scroll. The poor mare. Perhaps she needed a friend, somepony to talk to. Why did Celestia feel like she had to rule by intimidating or belittling other ponies? Luna pushed her rocks again. Things would be different if she were in charge.
 
Celestia watched Luna roll the stones, then looked at Discord, jerking her head towards Luna. She wanted to speak with him while Luna was out of the room, and tried to signal that. He didn’t seem to get it, so she looked at her sister and said, “You going to roll those rocks all day, Luna?”
 
Luna cringed again and stayed silent. Discord glanced between the princesses, then understood. “I’ll help you out, there, kiddo.” One by one, he teleported Luna’s rocks to her room. “There you are, all your oversized skipping stones are waiting for you in your room.”
 
“Thanks Discord,” Luna said, trotting away. Before leaving the room, she glanced one more time at Clover, wondering when she might get a chance to talk with her.
 
Once Luna had left and was far enough out of earshot, Celestia turned to Discord. “Do you mind watching the castle while I’m at Sombra’s?”
 
“Not at all,” Discord said, scratching under Tricia’s chin.
 
“Good.” Celestia said, her mind on the spells she was prepared to perform at tonight’s Royal Date. “I’ll lower the sun and raise the moon while I’m out. Keep an eye on your pet.”
 
Discord saluted. “Sir yes sir!” Waving his claw, he made a glass of water appear and handed it to Celestia. “Remember to stay hydrated this evening. Drooling too much over His Majesty the Dreamboat could leave you bone-dry.”
 
Celestia’s cheeks flushed. “Scribe, We demand thee to scratch that uncouth statement out.”
 
Clover, too shy to point out she had been instructed to write what Celestia had said and not anypony else, nodded and crossed out ‘Keep an eye on your pet.’
 
“Thou may have the evening off once We depart, scribe,” Celestia said. She trotted out of the room and beckoned a guard. “Subordinate guard, please find the Royal Lady’s Maid and send her to the Royal Bed Chamber at once to help Us select a dress for this evening.”
 
The guard saluted and ran out of the room to the Royal Servants’ Hall and gathered as many staff as he could. Rumors had spread around the staff about why the old scribe had been fired, most of them false. Regardless of the real reason, nopony wanted to share the same fate, so they rushed to elect the individual with the most experience with dresses to be the Royal Lady’s Maid. This turned out to be a mare who had threaded a needle once. All in attendance came to the consensus that this was indeed better than nothing.
 

~ ~ ~

 
Elements, elements, elements. They had to be in this journal somewhere, Luna was certain.
 
She sat in her room, both her hooves busy flipping page after page of the journal as she skimmed the titles. Mostly spells so far, but she knew there was an entry somewhere in here about the elements.
 
Luna licked her lips, realizing her mouth was dry. She was tempted to go and get some water, but her curiosity was stronger at this point—she had to know what, if anything, Star Swirl knew about these elements.
 
Then, she found the page near the back of the journal. The top of the page bore the title Elements of Harmony. Below this was a simple diagram, a plain pentagon with traits scrawled at each of its corners: kindness, laughter, generosity, honesty, and loyalty. However, there was no indication that there was a sixth element.
 
On the opposite page was a note that looked like it was written in a hurry: From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled. That confused the issue even more. She flipped to the last pages of the journal, but they were all blank.
 
Luna recounted the stones. Six. Had Star Swirl made a mistake, or had Discord? The journal seemed to insist that there were only five. And what did Star Swirl’s note mean? How did it have anything to do with the elements?
 
“Your highness?”
 
Luna jumped at the voice. Clover stood in the doorway, though she took a step back. “I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
 
“No, it’s okay,” Luna said. She hadn’t had a chance to meet Clover up close, but her blue eyes were pretty and her green mane looked nice. Though she was likely several decades younger than Tia, Clover seemed to carry a mature air about her, despite seeming shy around her or her sister.
 
Clover cleared her throat. “Uh, Celestia sent me to see if you wanted lunch.”
 
“Oh, um,” Luna glanced down at the journal as if it would tell her she was hungry. Licking her lips, she turned back to Clover and nodded. “Yes please, and some water as well.”
 
“Okay.” Clover gave her a warm smile and turned to leave.
 
Luna couldn’t remember the last time anypony smiled so genuinely at her, not since her mother when she was young. It made her feel warm inside, and she couldn’t help but let the words leap from her throat. “Ms. Clover.”
 
Clover stopped and turned back to Luna. She nearly offered that Luna could just call her Clover, but figured the formality was okay for the time being. “Yes?”
 
Luna saw the smile fade, but her sweetness remained, as well as the glint of compassion in her eye. Luna couldn’t think of anything else to say other than, “I like you.”
 
Clover smiled again and blushed. Such a sweet child. Working for royalty seemed much less intimidating around Princess Luna. She dipped into a bow. “Thank you, your highness.”
 
Luna wanted to point out that just Luna would be fine, but left it alone for now. The strange warm feeling in her gut wanted to keep Clover here for just another minute more. Looking around her, she glanced at the forest outside the window and said, “Oh, hey, um. What’s a good name for a forest?”
 
Clover rubbed her chin. “A forest? Hmm. I do like evergreens,” Clover said, peeking out the window. “Do you mean that forest?”
 
Luna nodded.
 
“Well, there aren’t many evergreens in there. Just deciduous trees.”
 
“Huh?”
 
Clover paused for a moment, realizing a twelve-year-old may not know what the words meant, and was more than happy to clarify. “An evergreen tree is any tree with needles, as opposed to a deciduous tree, which is any tree with broad leaves.”
 
“Oh, okay,” Luna said, making a note on a stray piece of parchment. At the top, she wrote ‘Forest name,’ and below that, ‘Evergreen’ and ‘Du-sid-u-us.’ She set the quill down. “Thanks, Ms. Clover.”
 
“Sorry, they’re not really good forest names,” Clover said, drawing back a little. “I’ll think on it, though, I promise.”
 
Luna almost had a heart attack when Clover drew back. She didn’t want to intimidate her like her sister did. “No no, it’s okay,” Luna said, standing up. “I mean, you can think of forest names and stuff, yeah, but, you know, don’t worry about it if you don’t.”
 
Clover nodded, her ears perking up. “Thank you. Anything else, your highness?”
 
Luna shook her head, also smiling. Clover lingered for just a moment more, then turned around and trotted out of the room, leaving the door open.
 
She looked out at the forest and said the words in her head. ‘Evergreen.’ ‘Du-sid-u-us.’ After a while, she was just staring out at the forest, watching birds skirt along the rich green treetops.
 
Even a minute after Clover had left, Luna found the smile was still on her face. She shook her head and looked down at the journal. Clover was super nice and sweet. The castle staff all seemed to be nice ponies. At least there was a silver lining to staying at this castle with her bossy sister.
 
Speaking of which, she had a bossy sister to impress. She walked up to the rocks and turned them over to see if any of them were specially marked with ‘honesty’ or ‘kindness’ or any of the other traits mentioned in the journal. No such luck, though.
 
Were these actually the elements of harmony? None of the spells Luna had tried had activated them. Perhaps Discord had mistaken them for the real elements. Or, maybe there was some other way of activating them, like saying some magic words or pouring water over it, or… Well, maybe. It was worth a try.
 
Luna bent down to a rock. She stuck out her tongue, and with hesitation, gave the rock the tiniest lick. Thankfully, it was a small enough lick not to actually taste anything. Then, armed with a similar idea, she bared her teeth and nibbled at a corner. The rock scraped against her teeth, the feeling making her cringe, and she recoiled immediately.
 
Okay, licking the rocks was out, as was eating them. “Ugh,” she said, then wrinkled her nose. “Wait, did I just try to eat these?” Luna stared at the rocks, then realized not only had she tried to eat rocks, but she was starting to talk to herself. She licked her lips. Get a hold of yourself, she thought. They’re just rocks.
 
Luna tapped her hoof on one of the rocks, the clack-clack exceedingly typical of a normal rock noise. They were all just ordinary, dull rocks, big and clunky and rough and stupid. The stones sneered at her, too snobbish to give her any sort of hint or clue about their secrets.
 
Or, now that she was personifying rocks, maybe she needed a break.
 
Luna closed the journal and pushed it away. Perhaps there was more material on the elements elsewhere in this castle. Luna stood up and trotted out of the room to search for a library in the castle and see if there were any books on the elements of harmony. After lunch, of course.


~ ~ ~

 
Celestia sighed for the umpteenth time that evening. King Sombra had thrown the best Royal Dinner ever.
 
She and Sombra ate across from each other on the balcony of his castle, at a humble table that was ten feet long and made of pure amethyst. The food was beyond delicious, and the meal was made complete by all sorts of intimate touches, like the warm glow of candlelight, sweet-smelling enchanted crystal flower bouquets, and the throngs of wailing slave labour below.
 
Celestia sighed again, distracted from the general oppression below the castle by Sombra’s exceptional manners and good looks. He was perfect, the meal was perfect, this castle was perfect, and she couldn’t have asked for a lovelier evening.
 
Sombra sighed again, annoyed that Celestia had done more staring and sighing than talking. He stayed silent and finished his meal, as he would much rather eat than be the one to push for a decent conversation and let his specially imported radishes get cold.
 
Seeing Sombra eat his last bite, Celestia took that as permission to eat her own last bite. She swallowed, then gently set her fork and knife down on the plate. “The meal was absolutely wonderful. Thank you for your generous hospitality.”
 
Sombra smiled, telekinetically dabbing a napkin over his mouth and folding it neatly. “You honour me simply with your presence, m’lady.”
 
Celestia looked out from the balcony, over the crystal city below and the gate to the mild winter terrain past the city limits. The ground was a stark white but the sky a clear blue, with the sun ready to set nearby. Celestia shifted in her seat, wondering if the trip back would be just as boring as the trip here.
 
Sombra leaned forward, catching a thoughtful glint in her eye, hoping she’d say something intellectual. Perhaps an expression of interest in spell theory, or better yet, crystallization. Possibly some insight into Equestrian politics, or a question about the reaches of his kingdom and domain. Anything intelligent, really.
 
“Do you like my dress?” Celestia turned a little, letting the setting sunlight shine on her sleek, shiny, icy-blue gown.
 
Sombra deadpanned. “Yes, my dear. As I’ve stated multiple times this evening, you look marvelous.”
 
Celestia brushed a strand of her pink hair aside. “Why, thank you. You’re a true gentlepony.”
 
Sombra leaned back on his seat. He wanted to hurry things along, for he had some crystalmancy to finish up that night, and after a dull evening like this, he wouldn’t mind a chance to relieve some stress and whip some of the slaves. He scratched his beard. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind demonstrating some of your magical abilities, perhaps with some of the many spells that you know, I would appreciate it.”
 
Nodding, Celestia stood up and set her feet on the ground. This wasn’t the Royal Sun-Raising Patch of Shiny Stones, but she wasn’t about to complain. The sun hung low in the distance, ready for her to set it. Lighting her horn, she bridged the gap between her and the sun, forming the magic envelope. She thrust the envelope from the top all the way down to the bottom of the sun. This was her sun. This was her moment.
 
She heaved down with a hard, steady force, setting her teeth and tightening all the muscles in her body. However, she had practiced breathing properly and keeping her face at least somewhat relaxed. The illusion that she was well-practiced in telekinesis was important. Sombra would not be impressed by an obvious expression of strain, a contortion of her face until her features formed an unprincessly pretzel.
 
The sun obeyed, crawling its way down until the last sliver disappeared below the horizon. She pushed it further down until the sky deepened with dusk, then relaxed. She took a deep breath and sat down, turning to Sombra with a grin.
 
Sombra nodded. “Impressive. Such a feat is unparalleled by an average unicorn.”
 
“Thank you,” Celestia said, beaming with victory. With that performance, she not only impressed Sombra, but she proved to herself and to her parents that she did indeed have what it took to lead a kingdom. Celestia breathed out and leaned back, more proud of herself than ever.
 
Sombra leaned forward on the table, his hooves pressed together. Levitating the sun was indeed notable, but now was the time for Celestia to truly prove herself. “Another,” he said.
 
Celestia nodded. She had prepared for this. Closing her eyes and funnelling magic into her horn, she imagined occupying another place in the room, feeling the pristine crystal floor with her hooves. The magic envelope around her formed a bubble, and with a snap of her horn, she willed herself to move. The magic then dissipated, the spell complete.
 
When she opened her eyes, she had teleported two feet to her right, exactly where she had imagined. She beamed at Sombra, awaiting an equal amount of praise.
 
Sombra politely hid a yawn. “Yes, well, that feat can certainly be paralleled. Anypony in the advanced magical arts can perform teleportation.”
 
Celestia swallowed. That was the one she had spent the most time on, and she only had one other spell left to show. “Yeah, well, how about this one?”
 
She turned to a statue of a pony rearing with a spear in its hoof. Taking in air through her nose, she imagined her fresh, well-tended Royal Gardens, and the sweet scent of flowers in bloom. She focused that energy onto the statue, engulfing it in the magic field.
 
To Sombra, the statue appeared no different than it was before. He made no effort to hide his sigh and raised an unimpressed eyebrow at Celestia.
 
She blinked, realizing she hadn’t yet told him what the spell did. She jerked her head towards the statue. “Go on, smell it.”
 
Sombra got up from his chair, leaned towards the statue, and took in a tired whiff. “Lilacs.”
 
Feeling sweat trickling down her forehead, Celestia smiled in the hopes of any praise at all, and dearly hoped he didn’t ask for any more.
 
Sombra waved a hoof. “That’s enough, I think I’ve seen all I need to see.” He beckoned a servant with a whistle. “Feel free to return to your castle. I’ll have your chariot fetched.”
 
Speechless, Celestia was scared now that Sombra hadn’t asked for any more. “Was that not good enough?”
 
“Take a guess,” Sombra said, sending another servant to get Celestia’s coat. “I’m only interested in those who possess strong magical ability.”
 
“But I have that,” Celestia said. “It’s true. I moved the sun, didn’t you see that?”
 
“Yes, I saw,” Sombra said, his eyebrows furrowing. “I saw your whole body tense up as you barely moved the sun. I saw you teleport and almost faint from the exertion. Then I saw you cast a flower-scenting spell that a two-year-old could do in its sleep!” His nostrils flared, Sombra sniffed as he regained his composure, then turned up his nose. “I’ve seen all I need to see, and in your case, all you’ve got.”
 
The cold evening wind nipped at Celestia’s fur, and she regretted wearing such a thin dress. She felt suddenly alone up high in this castle. Home was so far away up here in the north, and her lover was even further, literally speaking. They were destined for each other, so why was he letting a little thing like magic get in their way? Celestia was certain that he would see past that eventually, and they would be together forever—perhaps just not tonight.
 
Sombra looked off into the distance, a bright object catching his eye. “Now, who could be doing that?”
 
Celestia followed his line of sight, and her jaw dropped when she saw. The moon inched up the heavens, halfway above the eastern mountains and climbing steadily. Celestia swallowed. Who would be raising the moon right now? Luna couldn’t, she could barely lift a feather. Then again, magic did tend to surge suddenly in young unicorn and alicorn fillies…
 
“Your sister, perhaps? I wouldn’t be surprised,” Sombra said. He draped his cape over his back, smirking. “I’ll be honest, I’m much more interested in her potential than yours. She doesn’t even have her cutie mark yet, and she’s doing what you’re barely capable of doing.”
 
Celestia set her jaw, then relaxed her features to show Sombra she wasn’t fuming inside. She tossed her hair, reluctantly letting a servant put on her overcoat. The stallion of her dreams had insulted her, and she couldn’t even think of a decent comeback.
 
Taking a step forward, Sombra could see Celestia seething, and he couldn’t help but smirk wider. “I would very much like to see what Luna can do,” he said. “Is there a good time I could visit her tomorrow and request a demonstration?”
 
Now he was just heaving insult upon insult. He could come over for dinner, but Celestia would just have to make him see that he actually wanted her, not Luna. Stuffing her anger down deep inside, Celestia held her head high and matched his formality. “That can be arranged.” She cleared her throat. “It is my honour to extend to you an invitation to dinner tomorrow evening.”
 
Sombra could hear her composure crumbling away in her words. It amused him. He offered her his arm. “I would be delighted, m’lady.”
 
Taking his arm, Celestia smiled and let him lead her out of the castle. Luna was really in for it this time. Celestia walked through the main hall of the Crystal Kingdom, a stiff smile glued to her face while she was still in Sombra’s presence.
 
Celestia would see to it that Luna would never raise the moon or embarrass her ever again. And she knew how, too: she was going to tell her parents.