//------------------------------//
// 29 Remote Control By Dr. Whooves 
// Story: Poetry From Equestria And Beyond 
// by LyraAlluse 
//------------------------------//

Remote Control

By Dr. Whooves

It is as essential as a wool jacket in the Frozen North;
A cornerstone in technological advancement,
Helping ponies become lazier since the dawn of its invention.

It is as smooth as blue whales blubber;
A random collection of buttons and gizmos,
Half of which don’t even work,
(Or at least are too complex to figure out).

It is like the manna of life, 
The food of the gods,
The elixir of continuance.

It is like the phasers on Star Trek,
Minus the ability to kill people or set it on stun.

It is the only way human beings or ponies 
Can operate their television in these modern ages; 
Heaven forbid they get off the couch 
And press the minuscule buttons on the front of the tube.

If aliens ever wanted to take over the planet,
All they would have to do
Is take every remote control from every household in the world,
And watch the chaos ensue.