I sat and watched as the rest of the class added their own ideas and interjections. None seemed to mind my presence, and I felt at home. It was a place where I could care just a little bit less about who I was and focus on what I could become. I felt as though I was taking the first steps into a brave new world.
“Starswirl,” Evenstar said as I rose from my seat at the end of class. “May I have a word with you?”
“Sure.” He wrapped his foreleg around me and pulled me out of the stream of unicorns that were leaving the room.
“I wanted to ask you about something.”
“What is it?”
“It’s your cutie mark, Starswirl. I’m not the most observant pony, but I don’t recall seeing it the last time we met.”
“Cutie mark?”
“Yes, it’s a swirl of stars. Would you mind telling me how to received it.”
“Yeah,” I said as I looked toward my flank. It was the first time I gave myself a moment to take a good look at it. It was just as Evenstar had described, a swirling pattern of stars. “I think I got this when I started placing points in my world,” I said as I looked to Evenstar. He seemed perplexed.
“Placing points?”
“Yeah, nothing big, I just started plotting small points all around space until I got quite the cluster. After that I kinda stood back and just watched my creation swirl around.” I looked back to my flank. “I guess that explains the swirl.”
“Fascinating,” he whispered. “I suppose you have a big decision ahead of you.”
“How so?”
He pondered for a moment before turning to the door and motioning for me follow him. “Come with me to my office, I’ll explain there.”
As we started into the hallway, he spoke up once more. “So how did you happen to enter The Union? Not many earth ponies are allowed into this place.”
“Oh, I was just using it as an easy route to get to my Applied Chemistry class.”
“I see,” he said as we stepped outside into the autumn air. The water on the ground was the only remainder of that storm that had passed a few days before. “And when is your Advanced Chemistry class?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “The same time as your magic class,” I muttered sheepishly. I didn’t want to upset him, but lying would have only delayed the inevitable.
“So you are attending my class during the same time slot of one of your other classes?”
“Well… yes.”
He stopped and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “Does your teacher approve of you absence?”
“Well… I haven’t talked to him about it.”
Evenstar took his hoof off of my shoulder and rubbed his chin. I knew he was upset to a degree, but he also seemed to be on my side. “If you have a class in the same timeslot as my own, I would prefer that you go to that instead. School comes first.”
“You’re right,” I said as he started to walk once more. Disappointing evenstar was one of the last things I wanted to. “But it’s only been two classes. It isn’t like I’ve missed anything important. I didn’t plan for any of this to happen, it just kinda… did.”
“I understand, logistics can be difficult, but you should be attending your chemistry class. After all, your major is in cereal production, not magic.”
For the rest of the journey though the campus, I was silent. It wasn’t my major, no my major was one that lay in the agricultural sciences, well within the bounds of earth ponies, and well within the scope of greatness I could achieve. I wanted to break free so badly, but I simply couldn’t. I realized in that instant that I was trapped, once again, by society's grasp on my life.
“Most of the professors who teach in The Union have their offices there, but I opted for a different location,” Evenstar said as we stepped into the massive library on campus. “It took a lot of fighting against the will of the professors to allow me to take an office inside the library, but once I explained to them why I chose to do so, they readily agreed with me.”
I had no idea what to expect as he pushed his key into the lock and turned it to the side. I began, in those few brief moments, to let my imagination wander. I thought of massive shelves, the smell of old books and a cluttered desk on which he would work. Instead, however, as he opened his door, I was met with a quite unexpected scene. Instead of the clutter of ideas and the chaos of hard work, there was nothing.
The first feature that caught my eye was the unassuming chair that stood facing the massive bay windows on the other side of the room. I looked through them to the world outside. A white expanse of cloud stretched as far as the eye could see, creating an ocean of white atop a world unknown. It seemed as though the world was calling out to be explored, to be known.
Beside his chair stood a small podium with a quill, ink, and an aging book on its surface. It was opened to the middle, and the lines of text stopped halfway through the page. The rest of the room was bare.
“This is your office?”
“Indeed,” Evenstar said as he stepped over to the podium and closed the book. “This is where the magic happens. This is my quiet place. It is free of distraction and forces my mind into a state of meditation every time I enter. It is a place of solace for my more advanced theories.” He took a seat on the floor and gestured for me to take the chair. “Have a seat.”
I sat myself down onto that seat and, let my gaze drift through the window. I could see why he used this room to venture into his mental realms. From the chair, the bay windows filled your vision. You felt as if you were flying through the clouds as they passed around the mountain. It was a place where your mind could let go and explore the unimaginable.
“Do you like it?”
I nodded, mouth agape at the scene before me. The only thing my mind could muster was simply whispering, “Wow…”
I could feel Evenstar smiling as he looked out over the vast expanse of clouds with me. Everything was serene. The clouds seemed to drift through the sky and he and I floated above them.
“I coudn’t imagine being a pegaus,” he whispered. “Being able to fly to such heights and escape the earth on a whim.”
“Yeah…”
I don’t know how long we sat there, admiring the view from his office, but every second seemed to linger for just a bit longer. It was as though time was an afterthought of the imagination, something that could be disregarded like a fly in the room. Evenstar was the one to finally break that silence.
“Starswirl?”
“Hmm?”
“I would like to ask you a few questions,” he said as he rose from the floor and walked into my view of the sky.
“Okay.”
“Why did you attend University?”
“Because I need to get a degree.”
“You need to get a degree?”
“Well if I want a chance in life, then yes, I do.”
Evenstar turned to a sea of clouds. “You don’t need a degree for a chance in life. In fact, the only thing you need is curiosity. With that being said, let me ask you agin, why are you here?”
“I… I want to learn.”
“Learn what?”
“I wanted to learn about cereal production.”
Evenstar closed his eyes and smiled. “Cereal production majors are a dime a dozen at this school. They promise a life of ease in a field that will never disappear.” He faced me once more. “Did you honestly choose your degree because you wanted to learn about cereal production? Or were you focused on your future.”
A flash of anger sparked in my soul as he insinuated that I was simply part of a herd searching for security, but I couldn’t let myself flare at him. I swallowed that prideful vengeance and responded, “I wanted to learn about cereal production…” I let my gaze drift out over the horizon. “But I’m not so sure anymore.”
“It’s natural to doubt yourself when times get rough, Starswirl. That doubt, that questioning of your purpose, its healthy.”
“Is this why you asked me to come here? To find out if I’m doubting myself?” I asked as I watched Evenstar trot to the door.
“Not quite. I came to ask about your cutie mark. You said you got it after creating a world in which you could perform magic.”
“Yes.”
“So your special talent may not lie in the agricultral sciences after all.”
I bit my lip. He had a point, and I was beginning to see the futility of my declared degree. I was beginning to trap myself in a world that I had no business being in. We sat there in silence for several minutes as I mulled the idea over in my head. Maybe I’m not supposed to take part in the agricultural sciences. Maybe I’m supposed to be focusing my efforts on magic. As I let these idas swilr around in my mind, I let my mind drift to my other classes I had chosen as part of my major. Finance was easy enough, as was history, but my grades in applied chemistry and agriculture were slipping. I was beginning to show my true aptitude, and it had nothing to do with where I thought I was heading.
All of my life I had beleived that I was destined to work in agriculture, to pursue the life that the world told me to have, but I was quickly realizing that the world may have gotten it wrong. I was sitting in the chair of a professor of magic, and it was beginning to feel like a life I could take on. The theory made sense, the basics were natural, and my life was headed in a direction that I was extremely excited for. The world had always told me to pursue a life in the ground, tilling the land and making it bring forth fruit, but I could only let my mind drift into the clouds. I wasn’t meant to tend the land as that magnanimous professor had said so many weeks ago, I was meant to be more than that.
“Starswirl?” Evenstar asked, breaking me free of my revelations. “I must depart. You need to discuss your absences with your applied chemistry teacher. I would a hate for you to miss a required class because of my own.”
“I will,” I said as I rose from my seat and quickly trotted out of the door and into the relatively noisy library. “I’m sure he will understand.”
“Well if he does not, feel free to come to my office here whenever you like.”
“Thank you.”
As I walked off toward the entrance, I was met with a nagging thought that started to eat away at my mind. What are you going to do? I had been faced with a decision, and I was going to have to make it quickly. I could either attend Evenstar’s class, or join him in the library.
I wanted everything to work out, for my life to fit together perfectly like a grand puzzle, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to do so. I had to choose between my major, or my passion. Each one pulled me one way or the other, and my life hinged on the choice. I had two days to decide my own fate.