That week was extremely....hectic. Whole Equestria is about to prepare for war, and you are dating two girls at once. You really wanted to tell them about that, but they made you not tell anyone about your 'feats', especially to the other girls. Oh boy, this will end bad. You were thinking about how to deal about this, then 5 girls run towards you with fearful looks on their faces.
"ANON, ANON, ITS AN EMERGENCY!" shouts Pinkie. You never saw Pinkie this distressed before.
"Was there an attack?" you ask. This is not good.
"Fluttershy and Discord are taken hostage!" shouts Rainbow Dash. She is crying, also something hard to see.
"WHAT?"
The girls tell you that Fluttershy and Discord were attacked near Everfree forest tending to some woodland animals. Discord tried to defend her but even his magic was no match to their attackers. Someone was watching this whole ordeal from afar and warned the girls, when they approached the attack site, there was a letter. In the letter, it says they want you specifically to surrender and be captured unless you want your friends to die. There was a name of a location at the end of the letter.
"I guess I have no choice then, I have to go alone." you say after reading the letter.
"ANON NO!" "YOU CAN'T ITS A TRAP!" says Rarity and Twilight.
"Relaaaax, you know me, I'll get Fluttershy safe and sound. Trust me." you say.
"I'll get ready, and I'll need directions."
You get the directions from the girls and wait for the train that will take you to Fluttershy's captors.
"I'll get Fluttershy back, I promise.....maybe that jerk Discord too, if I can." you assure the girls. You never really liked that chaos douche.
Twilight and Rarity hugs you tightly at the same time. RUH ROH, NOT GOOD.
"Y'all are awfully chummy, did something happen?" Applejack asks with a hint of suspicion in her voice.
"Not really, he is our best friend, that's all." says Twilight. "What about you Rarity?" she also asks with suspicion.
"Same thing Twilight, he is our best friend." says Rarity. She is eyeing Twilight menacingly.
Okay, you should end this before it gets bad.
"RIGHT! I should get going. I'll be back within 24 hours, I swear." you quickly board the train. That was close.
The train ride didn't take that long, the place the letter mentioned wasn't that far, but you needed to do the rest of the journey on foot.
You reached the place mentioned in the letter. Its a large hill, on top of the hill, there is a large Colosseum. Weird, there was no mention of such building in the map.
"You Anonymous?"
You see a group of men wearing armor marching towards you, with their weapons ready.
"That would be me, where is Fluttershy?" you ask. You also get ready to fight.
"All in due time, Mr Anonymous, I suggest you come with us quietly and change into this, if you want to see the hostages alive."
One of the soldiers tosses something like an Ancient Roman gladiator's suit.
"Why would I need this?"
"You will see soon." the soldier smirks.
You get dressed up, get handcuffed and enter the building with them. The soldiers lead you into a place that looks like an animal pen, except there are monsters and ferocious beasts in the cells growling and barking at you. They shove you inside a big cell and lock the door.
"Anon?" you hear a very familiar voice.
"Discord?"
You see Discord chained up on the wall, his usual mischievous behavior gone. He looks exhausted and beat up.
"Christ, you alright? you approach Discord.
"What does it look like? They took most of my magic and beat me up." coughs Discord.
"Right, I'll bust us outta here, get Fluttershy and-"
"No you stupid goat fornicator! Fluttershy is personally chained near the warlord, the leader of these band of brigands."
"Where-"
"HEY YOU! BOTH OF YOU, YOU'RE UP NEXT!" shouts the jailer.
"We're doomed." says Discord.
The soldiers take you and Discord to the end of the corridor. The huge metal gate opens, you see a spectacle you saw on that Russell Crowe movie. An open Colosseum, with hundreds of spectators shouting and cheering as you enter the arena. The soldiers lead you to the center of the arena. Drops some weapons and move on.
"Good luck." the soldier laughs.
"Oh this is going to be good." you say.
"WELCOME TO THE ARENA, SCUMS!" you hear an amplified voice in the largest balcony in the seats.
"That's the warlord?" you ask.
"Kind of a cliché, I know." says Discord.
A morbidly obese Unicorn man is shouting with an amplifier. He barely is wearing anything, probably because he can't fit in anything. Jesus Christ, he fits exactly to the 'Fat powerful crime lord' thing. You see he is holding the chains on Fluttershy's neck, he made her dress into some kind of....slave dancer clothes, you thought he can't get anymore cliched enough.
"Says something about his tastes." you say.
"I HEARD ABOUT YOU, MR. ANONYMOUS. DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO SURVIVE MY ARENA OF DOOM?" he shouts.
"Hey, fatass! I'll give you a chance to surrender Fluttershy!"
"Anon? What are you doing here? RUN!" shouts Fluttershy, but the warlord pulls her chains.
"Insulting me in my own domain won't help you, maybe if you work for me, I'll let you be my right hand man." says the warlord while chomping down a large cake. Gross.
"FUCK YOU FATASS, LIKE I'LL WANT TO WIPE YOUR ASS EVERYTIME."
"That is supposed to be one of the main duties of my right hand men, for some reason, they killed themselves."
Oh fuck, no wonder.
"No matter, you will die here like the rest, at least you will serve as entertainment." the warlord signals his soldiers. The soldiers blow loud horns to begin the event.
"Was that necessary?" asks Discord.
"If you want to wipe his ass all the time, be my guest."
"I guess I'll die here then."
You hear loud series rumbles below, a large gate opens beneath the Colosseum and an enormous bipedal monster jumps out of it, it is almost big as a hydra. You and Discord's magical handcuffs disappear.
"Oh god." Discord falls on his backside and watch the beast in horror.
"Discord, stand behind me, I'll take care of this." you grab a sword and charge towards the beast.
You thrust the sword towards the monster's stomach, the sword breaks. Was this sword just for show?
"Sonova-"
The monster swats you with his claws, you fly and hit the wall. The crowd goes wild.
"That was rather disappointing, I should remind myself to use smaller monsters first." the warlord grumbles as he shoves an entire grape in his mouth.
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE MONSTER!"
The warlord chokes on the grapes.
"THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE!" he shouts.
You emerge from the dust and rubble. Even the monster looks confused. Time to finish this the old fashioned way.
You rush and jump towards the beast's neck and slam your arm into it.
"A PERFECT RUNNING LARIAT, UH BAW GAWD." shouts the warlord, he looks excited now.
The monster falls on his back, it tries to get back on its feet, but another surprise is waiting for him. You grab his back as hard as you can, the beast shrieks in pain, you lift it in the air, jump high enough and smash him backwards head first.
"SUPLEX! MAH GAWD, I CAN'T BUHLEEVE MAH EYES!" the warlord is still playing the commentator.
The monster has had enough, he crouches like a frog and jumps upwards, trying to crush you with its body. You wont let him.
You jump after the monster, when he is coming down you grab his neck part and come crashing down with your body first.
"RKO! RKO! RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!"
Time to finish this . The monster is still growling and trying to stand, this thing is pretty tough. This time, you grab him upside down.
"HE IS NOT GOING TO...HE IS!"
you jump, you grab on the monster's back and make him land on top of his head.
"TOOOMBSTOOONE PILEDRIVER!" the warlord could die of excitement right now.
You crashed the monster so hard that his head is stuck on the ground. Its not moving anymore. The crowd is silent, they clearly didn't expect this to happen.
"What in Equestria was that?" asks Discord.
"What, you never watched wrestling?" you shrug. "Oh right, I almost forgot to say this part."
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"you shout at the crowd.
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
"IS THAT NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?" you pick up a spear and throw it towards the warlord. Before he can react, the spear pins the cake the warlord was eating on the wall. He calls one of his guards to him.
"Guard, tell them to send everything."
"Everything, my lord?"
"EVERYTHING!"
The guard signals the beast masters. They hesitate at first, but the push all of the gears at once. All the doors open and more than a dozen monsters rush out of their pens, one of them even devouring one of the beast masters.
"This is bad." shivers Discord behind your back.
"Maybe." you look at the dead monster. This might actually work?
You lift the monster's body.
"What are you doing?"
"Creating an exit." you proceed to throw the body as hard as you can towards the wall.
The crowd screams, now there is a monster sized hole in the Colosseum. The monsters see this as their chance of escape.
"How do you keep on doing this kind of things?" Discord asks.
"The Anon-force is strong within me."
"What?"
"Just kiddin, what part of 'Bullshit plothole level super power' did you not understand?"
The warlord starts barking orders and the soldiers start rushing in the arena. Unfortunately for them, some of the monsters start attacking their captors in revenge. The whole Colosseum is in chaos.
"Lets get Fluttershy!" you get Discord on his feet and start running towards the warlord.
"One of you kill that.....gahk." the warlord is choking.
Fluttershy uses the chains he was holding her with to choke the life out of the warlord.
"HOW DARE YOU HURT.MY.FRIENDS!" Fluttershy keeps on choking the obese man.
The warlord makes a few croaking sounds and dies.
"You alright, Flutters?" you ask while punching the soldiers out of your way.
Fluttershy hugs you and Discord tight. "I'm glad you are safe." she cries. You free Fluttershy from the chains.
"Thank me later, can you guys fly?"
"No, out of juice, remember?"
"Too...tired."
You have no choice, you pick up Discord under your arm and Fluttershy over your shoulder and start running.
"What you doing?"
"Hold tight, we're getting out of this."
You run towards the guest exit and kick the wooden gate down. There are soldiers still chasing you. You have to run down the stairs, but there are soldiers coming up the stairs as well. You put your friends down and grab one of the massive thick wooden doors and put it down on the floor.
"Discord, Fluttershy, get on the door!"
"You're not going to-"
"Just do it!"
Discord and Fluttershy sits on the door, you push the door down the stairs and ride it like a surf board.
"HAAAAAAAIL TO THE KING, BABY!"
You clearly are having way too much fun with this.
You are sliding down the stairs in full speed, the soldiers panic and try to escape but many are crushed under the massive speeding door. Fluttershy and Discord scream the whole ride.
You ran back to the nearest town with Fluttershy and Discord in your arms. The Equestrian army came and started to cleaned up the mess and escorted you back to Ponyville. The town once again hailed you as a hero, but the threat was clearly not over.
Fluttershy wanted to thank you for saving her and asked you to come to her cottage for a dinner that night. When you reach her cottage, you see the all animals leaving the cottage, weird.
"Hey, asshole rabbit, whats the deal?" you ask Angel. The rabbit scowls at you as usual and hops away.
"Oh, its nothing my boy, we just wanted to make sure you two are alone for the night." Discord slaps you on the back.
"Alone?"
"Of course! Just....clean up after yourselves, okay?" Discord winks and disappears as usual. At least that chaos wizard thing is more friendly right now.
You scratch your head and enter the cottage, everything seems normal enough.
"Fluttershy?"
"Over here."
The door slams behind you.
Oh god, you know this feeling too well. You slowly turn you head.
"Fluttershy? Why are you still wearing that?" you ask.
Fluttershy is wearing that 'slave-dancer' outfit again. She is looking at you like a predator looking at its prey.
"Flutters?"
"YOU FILTHY, FILTHY BEAST!"
What.
"DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I DO TO WILD ANIMALS LIKE YOU?" shouts Fluttershy. She is approaching you like a lioness stalking its prey.
"I HAVE SPECIAL WAYS TO TAME A FILTHY WILD BEAST LIKE YOU!" Fluttershy dashes towards you like a ferocious hunter.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Fluttershy's cottage had to go through several repairs after that night. The repairmen asked if the house was attacked by a monster.
[To be continued]