Shadow pushed her food across the plate. The hideout was usually comforting, but after dinner Beat had left to get dessert. She was left home, and Clover had run down to the Roots again. Everything was silent.
Here she was, eating after everypony else. Alone, just like every day of every week of every month. Years? She's lost track of those.
She bit her lip, reprimanding herself. "Deep breaths, Shadow," the unicorn muttered. "You're whining again."
Still, the weight on her heart remained, and she couldn't focus on eating. She finally shoved the food away, suddenly exhausted. Maybe things would be different if she said something. Maybe the others would understand. Maybe... "Buck up! You're not a filly!" She caught herself, barely avoiding a screech. That would've scared Clover. "Damn bat ears..."
She laughed despite herself. "Why is it that you talk to yourself, but never other ponies? Hmm?" She brushed a crumb off of her tunic. "You're crazy. Absolutely nuts. How wonderful, you little brat."
She suddenly gasped at her own response. Had she always been like this? A grim, self-loathing - She didn't let herself finish that thought. Of course, she couldn't exactly stop it; the feeling lingered. She sighed, rubbing her temple. This was giving her a headache...
The unicorn cast a preservation spell over the remains of her food, then floated it towards the cupboards. She would just finish it later. After a moment, she stood up and found a piece of parchment. She quickly magicked a short message to the others: "I'm going out for a little while. I'll be careful, but if I'm not back by midnight please come looking for me. Sincerely, Shadow."
She frowned at her poor writing, but dismissed it. She had more important things to do. After retrieving her hood and lantern, the unicorn stepped outside, organizing a mental checklist.
The first step to enjoying the night was to take a deep, chilling breath of air. Check.
Next was to fill the lantern with fireflies. Slightly more difficult, but check.
Then was to take ten steps forward, and continue this until one is completely alone with their thoughts. There was a certain thrill that came with checking that one off.
Finally, the last step was to get to the top of the closest tree, either by flight, magic, or sheer willpower (and a strong grip). Check.
At that point, Shadow pulled her hood back. She stretched across a thick branch before opening the lantern. The bugs inside fluttered out in a wave and disappeared into the night. She watched them go, admiring their clever bobs and spirals, attempting to understand some kind of pattern to the movements.
Soon, though, the fireflies were nothing in the sea of lights overhead. She knew they had probably drifted back to the forest floor, but it was much more beautiful to ignore that. Powerful green trees of all shapes and sizes spanned as far as the eye could see. The moon shone silver, blanketing and protecting the mystery of the Everfree. There was no place in which Shadow felt more welcome.
Most of the time, she only came out of the hideout during the day. It was much safer than risking an encounter with a Timberwolf, cockatrice, or, Luna forbid, an Ursa. Recently, however, the pink unicorn had found comfort in running out here and into the moonlight. The others were afraid of the moon, and logically so. And yet, she felt safer in its light than at home.
She relaxed against the tree, letting her mind resonate. If only she was a Pegasus, she thought. Then she could fly away and become a star, too. How lovely it would be to live up there in nothingness, with no one to impress or fear or protect. To be nothing in the grand scheme. And, at the same time, everything.
She mused on the idea a few moments before letting it rest, waking another, more reasonable one. What would happen if she became a poet? Clearly, she'd be horrible at it. She would probably have to hide her writing, too. But just getting her thoughts out on paper, making art... Would it be worth the time? Of course not, but it was fun to think about.
Fun. She chuckled at that notion. A wonderful feeling, that one. Not really practical, but she felt it anyway. Even this moment felt fun. Alone, fearless, and closer to wisdom than ever before. How fun it was!
She laughed harder, reveling in the thought. Anypony outside the forest would've called her crazy, being happy alone. Even Clover had openly told her she was "wrong". And yet, here she was.
Eventually, she was silent again. It had only been a few minutes since she left, but Shadow already felt the cold air's effect dulling. Frustrated, the unicorn picked up her lantern and lit her horn for a teleport.
Just as she stood up, there was a loud snapping noise from below. Shadow's ears perked up, directing her focus towards the edge of her vision. Nothing had changed.
She shook her head, turning back to the spell. She was interrupted again by the same sound. Annoyed, she checked the forest floor again. No results. She would've let it go if not for a third distraction, this time slightly louder. Closer.
Her gaze was yanked towards the edge of the trees. A milky green light peeked through the canopy, and with a flare another tree fell, sending a ripple across the forest. She knew that light. A hunter.
"So much for a peaceful night," she grumbled, already making her way down. She may have been horrible at combat, but she still had to do something about this intruder. If nothing else, it would serve as a warning.
She quickly picked up the now-empty lantern, filling it with dry, crackling wood before lighting it. The fiery glow cast a long shadow from the thick, knobbly trees. She smiled, knowing she would have the scare factor in her side when she met the hunters. Hopefully she wouldn't have to fight them head-on.
As she walked out to the Edge, her thoughts were given time to fester. Beat had never actually officially "shown" them this place, but despite her worry, both apprentices had seen the Outer Core. It was exactly what foals were told of the forest, riddled with spiked plants, glowing eyes under the brush, and black, moist trees. Luckily, nothing here was a threat to the Chosen; this was their training ground. Still, looking it in the face... "Unsettling" wasn't enough, but "frightening" missed the point entirely.
Really, what was so off? It wasn't like the light changed colors or branches were cracking behind her. It was the little things, probably. Maybe the trees were a little bigger, or the mist swirled faster than normal. Was it possible for bushes to move? Could trees have two - no, three - shadows?
Suddenly the scare factor wasn't worth it. She dropped it under a tree, hesitant to leave the fire's light, but even more scared of staying. The filly bolted, into the Edge and relative safety.