Moments after he finished stretching, Discord brought my physical body to this strange place in the void. He said that with the body here, I was free to roam the realm of the walking. WIth me being dead, for now at least, the rules of ghosts apply. If you want to be seen, you can be. If you want to be heard, you can be. If not, then you aren’t.
“Any place specific you wish to visit, fuzzball?” Discord’s voice seemed to echo throughout the empty space.
With a snarl, “Can you put me at Spade’s home? You already know who he is.” Discord gave me a brisk nod and told me to close my eyes. After a few seconds, the sounds of nothing replaced with that of wind, crickets, and a few other animals. I opened my eyes to find Spade’s cottage, and just waited. If he picked up on me like I wanted him to, he would be out within a matter of moments.
Just as planned, he opened his front door, looking over the area and right through me. He shrugged to himself and trotted to a rocking chair, eyes still looking over the open area.
I took a few steps closer to him, “They know?” The voice seemed to only half startle him, as his eyes locked on the direction it came from. “A little jumpy, are we?” I allowed him to see me in my entirety, but only him. I could sense Shadow, Dash, and their little foal. I moved next to him and leaned against the wall, crossing my arms.
"Well hello there... Zin." he began, "What brings you here in such a form?"
“Gives me something to do since I was, ya know, just stabbed a few moments ago.” I sat myself down against the wall, looking up at Spade with my arms behind my head. “Discord’s getting me ready. Should be good to go before the battle begins. And I never told you the exact date, did I?”
"It'd be best for you not to mention him whilst you're at my home, kid." His hatred obvious in tone. "As for the time of the attack... The exact date is a moot point. We'll be ready a week ahead of time and then all it is is playing a little waiting game."
I shrugged at him. “Whatever suits you. Anyway...” I lowered my arms, putting one under my chin. “I have to find a way to occupy myself for another week. There is some payback that needs to be given to Tia...” An evil smirk crossed my face at the thought. “Nah. Think I might just see how things go on around here. You tend to keep things interesting.”
"She wouldn't be as kind to this little disturbance as I have been." A small smile escaped, "And don't think y'all can hang around here for a week. I can't have that at all."
“I’m dead. What can you do to stop me?” I looked back towards the wall of his house. “How’d she take it?”
"Oh no you don't kid," he let out a small burst of magic and cast me off of the porch, me landing on my back. "I know your spiritual signature now. It won't be hard to keep you away."
“So what, I can’t see Dash? And blasting me with magic, even if I can’t feel it, didn’t answer my question.”
"No kid, you can't. She's in the middle of training right now; seeing you like this and learning you're in league with Discord isn't what is best for her right now." He stretched his legs out from his chair. "I don't think she'd take it well at all.” He got off of the porch and came over towards me.
“I never said she would be able to see or hear me. And do you think I am that dumb Spade? She fought the guy for christ's sake!” I let out a sigh. “I would just like to see her progress. Being dead is leaving me the same as I was before. Pretty much on my own, so pardon my wants.”
He smiled and shook his head, "I'm sorry kid, but the training is private. You'll be free to talk to her before the battle, but by then she'll know about you and Discord. For your sake I hope she still sees you the same way. You could use a friend, if for a short while at least."
I slammed my body back against the ground. “Well, back to listening to a really old dude talk about chaos... And if you really want to get some training in, get Grim. He’ll give you a run for your money.” With a snap of a finger, I slowly dissipated into thin air, reappearing by Discords side.
“Poor fluffy get rejected so soon?”
With that, I slapped him on the head. To my surprise, it actually worked. “Shut up and work. I’m stuck with you for a while.” He just grinned and went back to work. ‘My life just loves me right now.’
- - - - -
“Wake up furball.” I felt Discord shove me, to which I shoved him back.
“I don’t want to hear anymore of your lectures on chaos.”
“You won’t have to worry about those anymore. I’m finished.”
I sat up, rubbing my eyes. After opening them, let’s just say there were many differences. For starters, my fur was midnight black, my marks were white, and I resembled a wolf more than a Diamond Dog.
“You put me in my body while I was sleeping. Didn’t you?”
“Eeyup.”
I immediately shot up. “Great! Now I can finally leave this place... And you.” He slightly glared at me. “No offense, but you get annoying after so much time. Maybe that was why they turned you to stone in the first place?” He just shrugged.
“You might want to hurry. You have about... Two days?”
With a snap of my fingers, a small doorway appeared. Through it, I could make out the inner portion of Twilight’s library. I stepped in, unaware if anypony was in the room or not. I’m just happy to be alive again. You can’t do stuff while being dead...
- - - - Library - - - -
I appeared in the middle of the library, only to find many guards aiming their weapons at me. I got up from my kneeling position, and scanned over the room.
Celestia raised a hoof into the air, "There will be no need of that, gentlecolts." She then turned her head to me. "Ah Zin. What a pleasant surprise. How did you manage to get here?"
“A rather simple teleportation spell. As to where I was, I’ll keep that my little secret.” I scanned over the room once more, taking in each of the weapons the guards still had aimed at me. Guns, swords, knives. She upped security for the war. After taking in each of the guards merchandise, I turned my head towards Grim and Silver, whom were still staring at me with wide eyes. I turned back to Celestia, “I have some catching up to do. If any of you have questions, seek me out later.” I turned and walked over to the isolated corner which held Grim and Silver.
After things went back to normal, Silver started to speak. “What... Happened to you?”
I smirked, “Fourth stage. I should be a ways stronger, and faster, than Grim now.”
He chuckled at this, but Silver continued. “One moment you're laying dead in my arms, and then a week later, you’re standing like nothing happened? How?”
I just shrugged, “It’s better if no one knows. Although, I am fairly certain that Tia and a few of the others already know.” I turned back to see Celestia conversing with the many officers. I turned back to Silver, just in time to duck her throwing a punch in my head’s direction, and then another, and another.
“He wasn’t kidding. You were always faster than him.” Grim said, laughing to himself.
I smiled as I grabbed her forearm, stopping her mid-punch. I spun her around, placing her arm against her back. “Tsk tsk. I get you’re mad at me, but this is no way to behave. Besides, you are likely to attract attention to yourself.” I let her go, and she just growled at me. At this, both Grim and I found ourselves laughing.
“If you’re as good as you say you are, maybe you should go against Grim.” She had her own playful, yet extremely angry, look on her face as she said those words.
“I would, if it were not two days before her forces arrive. He’s going to be leading them, and I have a score to settle.” I placed my arms behind my back, “As for what I am going to do in the two days, it will be most likely filled with a lecture or two from Tia about the strategies she has planned. But since you two know me the best, you might want to tell her I don’t normally play by anyone’s rules.”
Grim and Silver’s eyes shifted behind me, and I followed their gaze to find Spade and Shadow trotting towards us. Spade made a short bow, "Well howdy there SilverClaw, Grim. Zin. How are you all finding the accommodations here?"
The two of them shrugged. Silver was the one to speak afterwards, “Definitely better than a cave.”
“Agreed.” Grim chipped in.
I just crossed my arms, “Don’t know if I will have time to get used to them. And don’t think I don’t remember what you did to me, Spade. My brain still hurts from that week long lecture he gave me...”
He shook his head with a slight smile, "You probably won't. The only few that still like you are standing next to you and with two days left until the attack, I'm sure you'd want to get accustomed to the changes he's made..." He had a grin on his face as he spoke, "As for that lecture you received on my behalf, I think you deserved it." After a short chuckle, "Oh I bet that was fun."
I shook my head with a small smile, “Yes, there is nothing more fun than listening to a lecture about the many theories of why chaos is both good and bad. I bet Twilight, had she not battled him, would be ecstatic.” Moments after speaking, a realization hit me. I brought my hand to my face and closed my eyes, as well as a sigh, “Dash knows and hates me, doesn’t she?”
"Well she certainly doesn't like you. I had to stop her from coming over here and ripping your to pieces. So, no kid, I don't think she's too fond of you at the moment."
“And she loves to hold grudges...” Another sigh from me, “It will take a lot of work, but I think I might be able to mend our friendship at a later time. For now, I will just try to avoid being too close to her before the battle.”
"After this kid, you probably won't be seeing her all that much, if at all. As being close to her," he laughed, "I don't think you want to even be close to her during the battle."
“I believe the term for this world is ‘hell hath no fury like a mare’s scorn’, so yes, that would be a good course of action.” I shook my head, “Life just loves to kick me in the flank...” I put my arms back behind me, “Enough about me. Can you give me a brief description of the defenses?”
Spade looked as if he were about to speak, but Shadow cut him off. "You can view most of them by simply going outside. However, what you should know is that now that you're here, you will be playing by our rules and strategies. No lone wolfing, as it were. You'll be placed in a squad just like SilverClaw and Grim have, which will in charge of one part of our flank. You are welcome to whatever bladed or blunt weapons you can find or make yourself. As for where you will be placed along the defenses, that is up to you. Remember, wherever you decided to position yourself, you stay. No leaving the wall and chasing after a chance to get your vengeance." Her last sentence was spoken in a firm tone.
Spade continued her speech, "Everything she said, along with the fact that those in the squad with you will be an assortment of Royal Guard and Ponyville citizens along with a CSF operative. You are under the direct command of that operative along with the rest of the squad."
I chuckled, “Now I remember why I didn’t go directly to the military. As for my weapon, I think I will keep that knife and try out a ranged.” I put a paw in the air as Spade was about to protest. “You made it clear last time about firearms. I was going with something more... Primitive. Such as the bow and arrow.”
He shrugged, "Suit yourself kid, although you'll have to make the bow and the arrows yourself. We don't necessarily keep a ready supply of them as ponies are even less suited to them than a rifle. Now is there anything else I can help you all with?"
I put a paw under my chin, thinking of a cheap way to get a bow and a few arrows without effort. Then it hit me. ‘Yo Discord. Think you could spot me here?’
Suddenly, a box materialized above me and began to fall. Without a second thought, my arms shot forward and gripped it. Had you blinked, you would have missed it. A note was placed on the top. “To Fluffy. From, D.”
“I’m going to kill him if he calls me that one more...” I lit the note on fire and opened the box. Inside was an exact replica of the daedric bow, as well as a rather large quiver of arrows. Same kind of course. “Although, he does make a good set of gear...” I slung the bow around me and attached the quiver to my back. After that, I realized that Spade and Shadow were in front of me... Didn’t think that through.
I crossed my arms, “He’s not that bad. Only reason I believe the words coming from my mouth is because somepony forced me to listen to his life story.” On the ‘somepony’ I cast a glare towards Spade. I decided that now would be a good time to change the subject to something other than Discord. “If your schedule isn’t too full in the next two days, maybe we could go at it again. Although if you do and you make another crater with my body, I am going to show you what kept me alive in that cave.”
Shadow started a light chuckle and Spade broke out laughing, "Oh kid, you jest. I know you have changed, but don't try and intimidate me, it's not becoming of you." He paused for a moment, looking off into space deep in thought. "I'll tell you what, tomorrow I have most of the afternoon with nothing to do but reports, so if you want to save me from that we could fight then."
I nodded, “Just find me when you’re up to it. Before we fight, I want to have a private discussion with you.”
He nodded back to me and started to move away with Shadow, "Sure thing kid. You guys finish catching up, don't stay too long though."
As I turned back to my two friends, Silver spoke. “Would you like me to show you where we are staying?”
I shook my head, “I have a feeling I won’t get much sleep tonight.” She cocked her head, as did Grim. “It’s better you don’t know.”
Silver let out a sigh, “Alright. Just don’t die on us again.”
I smirked, “No promises.”
- - - - - - - Tomorrow - - - - - - - -
“It’s been a year Sofia. He’s gone and not coming back.” A familiar voice called through the darkness.
“Jake, I know. It’s just... I don’t believe he’s dead.” Her voice was full of confidence, but also a great amount of sorrow.
There was a sigh coming from Jake. “If he was alive, he’d be with us. He would never pass a chance to hang with us.”
“Guess I’m just gonna have to accept he’s gone...”
“I’m not gone. I’ll be back soon. I promise.” I spoke through the dark.
“What the fu-!” Her sentence was cut off as a searing pain in my head brought me back down to earth. Or in this case, Equestria.
- - - - Reality - - - -
I opened my eyes to see myself skidding along the ground at a semi-fast pace. After I finished my sliding, I looked up to find an angry looking Dash. After I got up, I started feeling my head for one of those red bumps you see in cartoons. "What'd you do that for?!"
She snorted and pointed a hoof at me, "That, was for signing up with Discord. What's coming next, is for me." Coming next?
I stared at her confusedly before shifting the same expression towards Spade. "What does she mean by 'next'? I thought we were going to be fighting."
He laughed awkwardly and rubbed a hoof through his mane, "Well, you see kid, Rainbow Dash here caught me just as I was leaving to come here and asked if she could take my place." He engaged an equally awkward smile, "Now, I couldn't rightly refuse her in wanting to take you on, so I said it was alright." He turned towards Rainbow Dash, "I didn't expect her to attack you just like that though."
She looked away from him "He got what was comin' to him." She said roughly. She turned towards me and stomped a hoof impatiently, "I'd like to get this over with as quickly as possible, too many ponies lives are at stake, and I don't have too much time to be doing this."
I crossed my arms, “I know how many lives are at stake, and I know you don’t have much time with your non-stop training. The question is, how do you want me to fight you. All out, as in we can use whatever we want and go as ruthless as we want, save for the killing each other. Or we could let Spade here decide the rules. I would prefer number one, since waking me up has gone and pissed me off.” I took out the knife and threw it rapidly at the ground, it stabbing up to the hilt in dirt. “And I bet she couldn’t handle me when I’m pissed.”
Dash seemed ready to pounce, but Spade came in between us and started looking us both over. "Now Dash, I know you want to get right in there, and Zin, I know you're upset with being woken up so unexpectedly but we can't be clawing at each others throats." He turned to face Dash as he set himself back onto the ground, "Now Dash, I know you hate him right now, but do know that he has changed and is a very powerful fighter." After finishing with her, he turned to me, "And Zin, know that Dash isn't a pushover either. Her training will mean a world of difference." After that, he started backing away from the center of the field. Once at the edge, he spoke again, "Now, I'd say you both are evenly matched, so whatdya say we go all out for this one. Just no major injuries. I don't want to have to expend a large sum of energy fixing you two up."
I let my arms drop and started focusing my energy. “Spade, after this you and I are having a chat. But for now...” My lower half started to shift from being flesh and bone to a living white flame. “...I have a mare to deal with...” After my entire upper half changed, there was nothing organic left of me except my mind, which at this point was on the verge of going feral. “Care to dance?”
She crouched low, flapping her wings, but she didn’t seem to want to take off. She wasn’t moving to attack, and was doing the same as me. The non-feral side of me was doing all it could to keep me from lunging at her... But it lost. My ‘body’ charged forward towards Dash, leaving flaming holes in the ground. My arm raised and slashed at her after I closed the distance, and she flew back with a groan of pain. Afterwards she flew straight into the clouds above, bringing out more feral anger. If this fight keeps going for too long, I will lose what little control I already have...
"What's the matter Rainbow Dash? Are you afraid to fight me on the ground? Are you... Chicken?" I taunted, hoping to bring her out.
After a few tense moments of silence, I was about to call another taunt when dark storm clouds formed over the field. Dash flew out from the center of the clouds, "You wanted all out!" She called, "Well you're about to get a taste of it!" And with that, she flew back into the clouds. Soon after, rain poured down over the field. I could feel the flames lessen, but one rainstorm did nothing but piss me off.
Getting harder to control...
She came from her cloud cover and hovered below the cloud line. I need to get her to come down and fight me directly. The sooner one of us wins, the sooner I can regain control...
"Is that all you've got?! Did you really think a little bit of water would stop me?!" Not what I had planned on coming out, but maybe it could provoke her. I could feel a grin grow on my face as Dash glared at me.
She stuck her tongue out at me before disappearing back into the clouds. Fuck. My body started pacing around, staring intently at the sky once again. A minute passed before something happened. A current of strong winds occurred directly above me, I figured out what she was going to do. Fuck. My. Life.
As soon as the tornado began and I got caught in its current, not only had I reverted, but I now had to dodge debris. Ain’t my life lovin’ me right now?
- - - - Five minutes later - - - -
Finally landing, claws stuck inside a tree, I eased up. Thank god I am in control of my body again, or else I might try something completely stupid. I released my death grip on the tree and stretched a bit before turning my gaze towards Spade, who had aided me in bringing my tree to the ground safely.
"Zin, could you come over here?" He called me over, and I obliged. He turned his gaze towards Dash and stared silently for a few moments before speaking, "What am I going to do with you Dash? That stunt could have very well cost several ponies their lives."
"Yeah, but it didn't...." She mumbled, refusing to look at anyone.
"Alright, it didn't, but if I hadn't helped it would have. I know your head was in the fight, but even then you have to realize that for every action you make, there is a consequence for it. Every punch requires energy, every buck leaves you open for a counter. Now since this is the first time you've done something like this, I won't be as hard on you." She perked up a bit, "Even still, I must give you some form of punishment."
She gave him a look of determination, "I'll take anything you've got for me." She said.
He smiled at her, "Well first things first, I want an apology for Zin."
She looked at me and dipped her head, "Sorry about that Zin, I got a little carried away."
I walked closer to her and inspected her. I stood in silence, a paw under my chin. “Spade, what game are you playing? This can’t be the Dash I grew to care for.” I gave her a playful smile.
Spade rolled his shoulders, "Oh she's just learning Zin. All to the effect of good training." He proceeded to grin at Dash, "And if you couldn't tell, the 'Dash you grew to care for,' is still very much there."
“I know she’s still there. Only she would stick out her tongue in the midst of combat.” I put my arms behind my back, “About the fire thing... Something was off this time. I had very little control, which is very different than when I was in the cave.”
"Well anypony who knew what you were like before coulda' told you that kid." He said, finishing with a tired sigh. "Not to bring up a still sore wound, but you wouldn't have lost control like that if you hadn't gone along with Discord's plans."
“He’s going to get a piece of my mind... And maybe a claw or two...” My tone rather grim. I don’t like getting fucked with.
Spade yawned as he looked towards the sky. After a few moments, "Well that can't be right."
"What's wrong?" Dash said, turning her head towards him with a look of confusion. "Trouble?"
He shook his head, "No, not right now at least. Although... The storm you created has surely abated, but instead all I see are storm clouds for miles and miles." He proceeded to look at the sky, aiming to find one crack of sunlight. "This is either some mishap by the Wonderbolts, or something bad is going to be happening soon."
I followed his gaze, seeing the clouds just as he described. “The Wonderbolts don’t make mistakes, and if I’m correct, pegasi are in control of the weather. Something’s off...”
"They are, but since Ponyville was evacuated, along with their other duties, the Wonderbolts have been put in charge of the weather with the remaining pegasi to help. Something is off, and I can't help but feel as if it's those friends of yours." He said as his gaze went from the sky to Dash and I.
“That is likely. Her power is less restricted... Maybe it wasn’t Discord after all...” Before I died, she did do something to me. I’ll look into this later...
"Possibly, but I don't think so." He said as he turned to Dash. "Now, as for the rest of your punishment, you'll be confined to the command center until the battle."
"What?! What about training or helping around with the defenses?" Her expression matching her semi-angry tone.
"Training for a two days isn't going to help you much and you've done enough to help around as it is. Think of this as a two day vacation." Spade said cheerfully.
"Yeah, a vacation where I can't do anything." She grumbled.
"You could have had it a lot worse kid. Now back to Ponyville with you." He sent her off with the pointing of a hoof. With an unintelligible grumble, she took off with a few flaps of her wings and flew straight for Ponyville. After she was gone, Spade turned to me and spoke, "Now what was it that y'all wanted to talk to me about?"
I put my arms behind my head, “I have unfinished business in my world. It’s not nice when your friends are all depressed because they think you are dead when in reality an asshole took you from them. And I know you can hear me Discord.” After I finished, I felt a rock from the pile of debris hit me in the back of my head. “Like I said. Asshole.”
He started laughing at my punishment, "Oh I'd love it if he tried that with me." After a few moments of waiting, he decided nothing was going to happen and continued, "Anyway, how long will this 'business' of yours take to finish?"
“I don’t know. I’m going to have to deal with a few people who think I am dead, and find a way to explain that I can’t stay. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?”
"I think you'll find a way to put it kid. You could stay, though you'd miss one hell of a fight." His tone one to boost the spirits.
I smirked towards him, “And let you get a higher kill score than me? In your dreams!”
He shook his head at me, sending water flying from his mane, "'A higher kill score' is not how I would put it. The fate of all of Equestria is at hand." He spoke truly, so I nodded agreement. A grin grew across his face, "Although, I don't think you're 'kill score' will be able to keep up with mine."
I crossed my arms, “I’ll take that as a challenge, if I make it back in time. I just have this bad feeling that something is happening back at home, and I’d like to see if my suspicions are true.”
"I take it you'll see soon enough. I also take that you won't need any help getting there, or are you not familiar with that spell in your vast knowledge of them?"
“No, I got it.” After I finished speaking, I let myself become my human form. “At least, I think I do.”
"Well, if you got it, then go ahead."
I outstretched my arm and cast the usual teleportation spell. The only difference was the amount of power required for such a long distance. After a few moments of concentration, a white pathway was open to the location of my choice. I took a deep breath, “Right now, they should be freaking out because a portal is the basement.”
I stepped through, running many scenarios about their reaction to seeing me, and not likely recognizing me. None of them matter right now, though. I’m here.
- - - - Earth - - - -
THUD!
That was the sound of my body slamming into the floor. Why it was placed on the ceiling is beyond me, but the pain subsided semi-quickly. Looking up, I noticed two familiar faces staring at me in utter confusion. I propped my head with my arms and spoke, “Why hello there.”
Sofia stepped forward, eying me closely. ‘Where did he come from?’
“From a very nice place that is in very bad shape.” My answer to her mental question made her stare at me with an even more confused look. “Mind reader.”
Jake, wearing his black hoodie, blue jeans, and no shoes, stepped towards me as well. “Who are you?”
I picked myself off of the floor and surveyed the room. The two stood in front of a three-seater couch, which was in front of a flatscreen. To my right were the exact same instruments we all used to play only two years ago. Good to see some things don’t change.
Jake cleared his throat, “I said, who are you?”
I crossed my arms at him, “You mean you don’t recognize me? I’ve only been gone a year, you know.”
Now they both shared that confused look. Sofia was the one to speak, “Are you saying your...”
“Yeah, it’s Scott.”
She stared forward, void of all emotions. Jake, however, still looked unconvinced. “Prove it.”
I shook my head, “I just walked through a portal and my own friends don’t believe me? Do I really need to break out the deep, dark secrets that only you two know?”
“Yes.” They said in unison.
I brought my right hand in front of me and slowly waved it through the air. “Let’s see... Sofia accidentally burned down the library, and Jake... The shrine in your closet is kinda creepy, bro.”
“Who’s it to?”
“Andrew Hussie, creator of Homestuck. You have all of the trolls and humans placed around it.”
He turned to Sofia as she gave him a look that screamed ‘And I’m the obsessed one?’
Their gazes soon shifted back to me, and their jaws seemed to have forgotten their locks. I heard a small laugh coming from behind me and turned, sharing my friends confused expression minus the jaw drop. Spade, here, in my friends basement... In my world?
"What are you-" I was cut off by a high pitch squeal from none other than Sofia.
"No. Way. A pony! Here?!" I didn’t have time to prepare myself for when she shoved me aside as if I was a toy.
After a few moments of awkwardness, I heard Spade let out a cough before speaking, "Well, uh, howdy y'all."
"You sound just like Applejack!" Sofia spoke ecstatically.
Jake stepped closer towards Spade, "You're an alicorn right?" Spade nodded and he continued, "How exactly did you get here? Why are you even here?"
"Well," he started while pointing a hoof at me, "I followed him. As for why, I thought it would be good to learn more about you humans and your world."
"Followed you...?" Sofia began, "What does he mean by that Scott?"
Before I could get a word in, Spade decided to answer for me. "Well you see, for the past year or so, Zin... I mean 'Scott' has been where I myself come from, back in Equestria." He paused, allowing the small-minded friends of mine to grasp what he told. "He's been there causing all sorts of a ruckus, not to say he hasn't helped around a bit."
I crossed my arms at him, “I could have answered that one Spade. And I didn’t cause much ruckus after the castle incident.”
"Yeah, well I had to pull your ass out of the fire several times, once less than an hour before. That counts as a ruckus in my book." He turned back to my friends and gave a bow, "I'm Spade, if you haven't already heard. I think you're the one Zin... Scott, always talks about making you Sofia. Although I don't know your name."
Sofia seemed shocked, while Jake kept his calm. "Well, I'm Jake." He started, "And you're right, that is Sofia. But how do you know that?"
"Like I said, Scott talked a lot about her. In fact, I'd go so far as to say-"
I let out a sharp cough, "I think that's enough of that Spade."
He shrugged, "Well alrighty then. I was only trying to help y'all." He gave smile and returned his gaze to my friends. "Well, since I'm here, and probably not for too long, do you kids have any questions you'd like to ask me?"
Jake put his arms behind him, “I thought the only two alicorns left in existence were Luna and Celestia?”
"Well in order to answer that I have to ask a few questions of my own. First one, and this has bugged me since I've got here, how do y'all know so much about Equestria?" Well, this can’t end well. A full minute passed with nothing but silence, until Spade turned to me and spoke, "Well, out with it."
I shot an angry glance at my friends, “I swear to god, when this is over...” After that, I let out a heavy sigh and returned my attention to Spade. “To be honest, I think it’d be better to show you. At least that way I can catch up on what I missed.”
“Which is a lot. Season Two just ended.” Sofia chipped in, having recovered from my death-glare.
I motioned him to the couch in front of the TV and led him to it, me sitting on one corner and him next to me. What little room he left was quickly taken by an excited Sofia, to which I rolled my eyes. Well it is a dream come true for them... I registered Jake moving himself behind me, jealousy beaming from him.
Sofia didn’t bother hiding how joyed she was by the way she was running Spade’s ear off, so I decided to show him what I meant by watching the finale. I reached for the remote and hit the power button. Soon after the TV came to life, I realized someone left the volume all the way up. And after that I heard Spade scream, "Too loud!" I hastily lowered the volume to a comfortable level to all of us.
After flipping a few channels, I landed on the HUB, which happened to be playing Pound Puppies.
"What... Pray tell, is this thing and what is it trying to show me?" Spade said, eyes glued to the screen.
Sofia let out a snort and clasped her hand over her mouth, "I forgot you don't have these in Equestria. It's what's called a TV... And on it is all different kinds of shows that can be about anything!" She said excitedly.
He gave her a short nod and turned to me, "I can't hold the question any longer, what is it exactly that I am supposed to be seeing on this... 'TV'?"
After clicking the DVR button and selecting the folder ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’, I spoke to him. “What you’re going to see is likely in the near future of Equestria. Might as well kick back and relax, it’s an hour or so long.”
The show started, and it’s opening was the mane six sitting at a picnic, talking about randomness as Spike was running towards them. As the show progressed further, Spade started acting strange. I heard Sofia call his name a few times before he came to after Twilight finished her song about her brother, Shining Armor. Shame I only got to speak to him once before I died...
"Spade, are you alright?" I asked him, mostly because both of my friends were just staring.
"No, kid. I am most certainly not 'alright.'" He spat, "You're very, very lucky that I am the one who is a guest in your world, and do not wish to cause any of its occupants harm. You are also lucky that I have more restraint than just about anypony you'll have the chance to meet."
My mind quickly brought up the memory of me getting tossed like a ragdoll, and I really don’t want a repeat of the past right now. "Calm down Spade, no need to get angry.
"Kid, you and I are going to have a talk later, one I can almost certainly tell you you won't enjoy." He said, inhaling and exhaling in an attempt to calm himself down. He finally took in the other two in the room and gave them a smile, "All better now. I think it would be best if I didn't finish whatever... that was. Now I'm sure you guys are still bursting with questions, so go ahead and ask."
Jake was the first to ask, “What’s your special talent?”
Spade was slow to reply, "Well, I'm actually very good at a wide range of things. But if I had to pinpoint one of them as my 'best' it would probably be the fact that there's not a pony around that can put rounds down range quite like me."
"You mean there are guns in Equestria?" Jake said, still surprised.
Spade gave him a nod, "Well of course there are. Oh wait, you wouldn't know about that. It's not something that would come up in that... Show, of yours."
I put my arms behind my head, “Too bad you aren’t the best shot in Equestria.”
His ear twitched a bit, "Oh? I beg to differ."
“You can, but the scar on my chest from saving your marefriend says otherwise. And to think I rambled for nothing...” I chuckled at that.
"Kid, you're running on thin ice as it is, so trying to push me isn't advisable. And if you would care to uphold your statement, I'm sure your world has a shooting range we could visit and I would just love to prove you wrong." His ear twitched in annoyance.
“If you want to trot where you don’t exist, be my guest. I bet half the brony population would just have a fit.”
“What's a... Never mind. If you have any ranges around we could leave right now."
I turned towards him, “You can’t be serious. Unless you plan on changing as I do, we might as well do it back in Equestria.”
He shrugged, "I don't give a flying feather right now. You try and learn that your life is nothing more than a 'TV' show in some other world." He turned back to my friends, “Okay, back to the questions."
“I think we’re good.” Sofia replied.
He smiled and nodded, "Of course. If you do get any other questions feel free to ask, as I don't think I'll be coming back here soon. Not with what is happening back in Equestria at least." He didn’t bother hiding how troubling the war was.
Sofia gave him a confused look, but Jake spoke, “What’s happening in Equestria?”
I leaned forward with a stern look on my face, “It’s going to shit, that’s what.”
"As he said, things aren't in the conditions aren't the best in Equestria right now. In fact, they're probably the worst they've been at any point in its history." His full feelings towards the subject now obvious.
“Picture a mass army of Diamond Dogs, armed to the teeth, all storming the town of Ponyville. But not only that, their leader is a demi-god she-wolf, much like myself.” I leaned back.
Sofia and Jake shared a glance, a nod, and then looked towards Spade and I once more. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were going to say. “Hell no.”
“Why not?” Sofia asked, determination and stubbornness in clear in her voice.
“I’ve died once already in there, and I don’t think my dear, annoying friend Discord would bring you back. And before you say one damned word, yes, I did say Discord. How do you think I got to Equestria in the first place?”
Jake spoke next, “Rumors were spread of... Other ways to get there.”
I turned towards him, “I’m aware of the other ways. I met a stallion whom used to be human. Too bad Nightmare Moon possessed him. Wonder how Dash feels about it, he was her coltfriend after all.”
While I was getting my share of a death glare, Spade interjected, "From what I understand, you two," He turned to both of them, "Want to go back with us to Equestria."
Jake nodded, "Hell yeah. That would be awesome." Enthusiasm beaming from him.
Spade smiled, "Well I don't see a problem in that. I'm sure Princess Celestia would love to ask you both so many questions."
"What?! How could you-"
"I, can do as I see fit on the behalf of mine Princess." He said coldly, cutting me off. “You, on the other hoof, can not make decisions on what goes on in Equestria. As far as I can recall, you yourself aren't a natural inhabitant of my world. So it would do you kindly to show myself, and my authority, some respect."
I was about to argue with him, but I knew better. I slammed back down on the couch, anger trying to be contained. After a sigh that surprisingly calmed me down, “You know what. Fine. But I swear, if even one of them gets hurt, your foal is going to be fatherless. Just an image to represent how much I care about my friends.”
He shook his head at me, "Kid, I don't take threats idly, so please if you must make statements be ready to back them up." He said calmly, "Other than that, I do not intend for your friends to be in harms way. They are... Guests in Equestria and shall be treated as such."
I brought my right hand out, flipped it so the palm was facing upwards and lit it on fire, scaring my two friends. “That was no threat, but a promise. And they better be treated as guests.”
He brought a hoof to his face and chuckled, "You can stop with the scare tactics kid. They don't work on me, and they never have. Frankly I think you're putting yourself in a bad light in-front of your friends." He motioned to my fearful looking friends.
I held my gaze on him and extinguished the flame, “They’re like that because they know I’d do it. No one messes with my friends.”
"Well I can't speak for them, so I'll withhold my reply. And you can try and 'do it' all you want kid." He mimicked my tone.
“Hopefully nothing happens and it won’t come to that. If it does, my head will likely have about four holes in it before I manage to get away.”
"Four? You underestimate me." He said before turning back to my friends, "I'm sorry for paying so little attention to you both, Scott here tends to require constant supervision. Otherwise he might just go off and get himself into some kind of trouble.”
Sofia let out a chuckle, still shaken by my magic. “No more than either of us. We’ve gotten into our fair share.”
I chuckled, “No shit. You’re the reason I got into fights. Why do you make everyone but the outcasts hate you?”
She crossed her arms, “Because the rest are stuck up rich kids. You know you wanted to hit that prick Derek.”
“Yeah, and I enjoyed tossing his ass out the second floor window.” He screamed like a bitch all the way down. Was quite funny, actually.
“What about James? I had to pull him off of you.” Jake said, pride obvious.
“And Jes kicked you in the jewels and you were on the ground crying. Bet you wish you had Sasha then.” I replied with a smirk.
“If I had Sasha, I would have been on the news. A gun is not something you bring to school.”
Spade interjected with a cough before speaking, "I know you are all busy catching up, but I am on a schedule and have to get back to my work. So if you all would spare me a few moments, we could get going."
“Right. And a word of warning for Dash. These two,” I motioned my hands to them both, “Are like I used to be. Fans of her work.”
He shrugged, "Seeing as she'll be busy for the next few days, I don't know if they'll get a chance to talk to her." He seemed to start focusing his magic, which could only mean one thing. My estimation was confirmed when he spoke, "I need all three of you to step close to me."
Sofia looked at him confused, “Why?”
I gripped Jake by his shirt and pulled him in, and Sofia took the hint and got closer.
“Let ‘er rip, Spade.” I said about as redneck as I could.
And after a few short seconds of crowding next to him, we were gone with a flash to the hell that is Equestria.