//------------------------------// // The Wubs Begin // Story: Wub me or Hate me // by Vesperia //------------------------------// I stretched my arms wide over my head once I finally got off the bus. Me and many other anonymous people stood in front of a large building, everybody all dressed up in some fashion. I saw one guy that had a modified robe with fists on it, he looked like a muscular wizard. It was pretty funny honestly. I looked at other cosplayers and noted the good ones, the great ones, and the bad ones. I shrugged my shoulders, adjusted my sweet sunglasses and strutted towards the building. I should probably give an introduction. My name is Mitchell, no last name as I don’t wanna be stalked, and I have come to comic-con all dressed up as well. But not as a wannabe anime character or simple minded game character, oh nono no. I am here… all dressed up… as the wubly Vinyl Scratch from Equestria Girls. I decided to go all out for my very first trip to comic-con. Had everything custom made, with the exception of the headphones Vinyl had in the' Music to my Ears' thing. I was saddened that I couldn’t get ahold of one, but I figured regular headphones would do. Of course, I’m dressed up as a girl but at least it’s not as bad as those huge pony costumes some of the fans wear. I pulled out my iPod; yeah I still had one instead of using my phone during this day and age, go figure. After putting on my headphones I put on some sweet, sweet music. I adjusted my white and blue backpack and danced around a bit while I walked alongside people. I got some stares and weird looks but those just made me grin wider and dance more, it has always been a hobby of mine to make people feel weirded out. My friends call me a passive troll, though I must disagree. I mellowed out a bit with the dancing as I got to the more crowded part of the inner building. I’m weird, but not much of an asshole thank you very much. I looked around at all of the sweet stalls and even took a few pictures with my phone when I saw a particularly good cosplay. I just finished a conversation with someone using my Nowacking impression and fist bumping a fellow brony when I came across an interesting stall. It was not just any stall; it was a stall that sold the most random assortment of goods that I had ever seen since I got here. I won’t list them because, honestly, I completely forgot about all of them once my eyes laid upon the one thing I desired most since coming here. A perfect replica of Vinyl’s headphones, and judging from the wires it may even work. “How much for the headphones?!” I nearly shouted as I yanked out my wallet. The very trustworthy man behind the stall, who was cosplaying as the merchant from one of the Resident Evil games I never bothered to play, chuckled, “Eager, I take it? Very well, the headphones were cheap to make so forty dollars is fine.” I didn’t even think before replying, “Deal!” I practically slammed two twenties on the stall's table and picked up the beautiful work of art. I start to walk away and plug the headphones into my iPod when the merchant called out to me. “Hold on, you’re forgetting something,” said the awesome merchant before reaching down behind the stall and pulling out a small roll of tools. Confused, I asked him, “What do I need those for? I didn’t even pay for them.” The, still incredibly trustworthy, merchant replied, “Oh, no charge for these. I just figured you’ll need them later. You never know when something will come up.” Still confused, but not put off, I took them from his grasp and put the roll of tools into my backpack. After I put my backpack back on I shrugged and since I got something for free I went back to my impression and said, “Thanks man, don’t know what I did but whatever. Later dude.” After fist bumping him for good measure I left the stall. With my new headphones plugged in and a beat in my ears I danced around a bit more, and then everything flashed white and I immediately went black. ♫♫♫ “And that is the story of how I got myself into Equestria,” I telepathically said to my fellow stoned neighbor. Not stoned as in drugged up but, you know, literal stoned. I could practically feel his figurative eyes roll, “Yes miss Scratch I know, you have told that same story to me over and over for the past millennium.” I mentally sighed, “Well, not like we have anything better to do now, do we?” “We could play eye spy?” “No! Not again! We’ve done that so much we managed to point out every blade of grass here!” “Hmph! Well excuse me- Oh, hello there...” I tried my best to notice what he was seeing but unfortunately being encased in stone doesn’t allow for much freedom of movement. But, in any case, I didn’t even need to see it to know what was happening right now. Seems like season two is starting. In case you haven’t figured it out already, or don't know what season two is, it was the CMC and their natural chaotic behavior. They had a bit of a spat about what Discord represented until Cheerilee broke it up. Before they had a chance to leave to do whatever they were going to do though, Sweetie Belle spoke up. “What about this one?” Cheerilee looked up at me and recognition soon showed on her face, “Ah yes, now here we have a statue depicting the, as she called herself at the time, “Wub Queen”. Legend has it that one day she appeared out of nowhere and upon first arriving in civilized society she immediately began playing horrendous noises and tortured everypony with it. But that alone wasn’t what made the Princesses defeat her. The legend continues to say that she created a terrifying weapon that almost completely destroyed Cloudsdale.” All of the pony children oohed and awed as they stared up at me. “Yeah, I am pretty awesome huh?” “Humph, she looks stupid. My dog is better looking,” scoffed Diamond Tiara. Discord laughed as I seethed, “Oh, it’s on you little bitch.” Cheerilee rolled her eyes and said, “Come on now class, on to the next statues.” Once they left, cracks immediately began to form on Discord’s statue. They continued to spread until a certain breaking point was reached and Discord was finally freed in a rather impressive explosion of stone. Discord immediately began stretching and doing yoga poses, “Well, miss Scratch, it has been quite the entertaining thousand years but I believe it’s time I retake my throne now.” “Wait! Before you go, you think you can do me a solid and free me?” I politely asked. Discord stroked his goatee and ponders my request for a bit. Then, he snapped his fingers and I, for the briefest of moments, thought he freed me until a stereo appeared out of nowhere and landed in some bushes out of sight. “That stereo will free you at some point in time. Maybe in the next few minutes, or maybe in a few years, who knows? I’m certain it can make enough wubs to break you out of your shell, so to speak. Well toodles!” And with that, he reached behind his back and pulled a Looney Tunes black hole out of hammerspace. He then proceeded to throw it on the ground and gracefully swan dived into it. “Hmph, well if I can wait a thousand years I guess I can at least wait for a few more. Time to count the grass again...” ♫♫♫ It’s been a few days since Discord’s second defeat and he wasn’t in a very talkative mood. It could be because he was defeated again, by six regular ponies and shiny trinkets no less, or it could be because I have been doing nothing but making rock jokes since he came back into service as a garden gnome. “Hey chin up buddy it's not that bad. Schist happens ya know?” “Come on, you haven’t hit rock bottom just yet.” “You know it’s usually guys who throw rocks at girls and not the other way around, right?” “Well your rule wasn’t quite concrete just yet.” “Don’t take imprisonment for granite, you can come up with a better and more rock solid plan now!” “I’m a pretty bold person myself but you? You’re boulder.” Maud and I would be the best of friends I’m sure. “Yo-“ I was about to start my next pun until I heard some sick beats coming from the bushes. The music got progressively louder until the very ground was pretty much shaking. Cracks appeared on my statue and then the stone exploded away from me in a similar fashion as Discord. I immediately began to bob my head and dance. “Sweet! Oh yeah! Yeeeeaaahhh!” I shouted over the music. Then the song abruptly ended as the stereo exploded from the pure bass flooding out of it. “Awww dude that’s weak. Can’t just cut off the wubs like that. Not cool,” I sighed and sulked at that, but got over it quickly. I pulled out my iPod, that has never run out of power for some odd reason, put on my headphones and turned to Discord’s statue. “Later dude, I’m sure you’ll get out again soon. Till then have a gneiss time, hah!” And with that, I turned on some new tunes and began to strut out the garden like I owned the place. Until I heard, “Stop right there, criminal scum!”