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// Rainbow's Not the Only One Who's Fallen and Can't Get Up 
// Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess 
// by Tired Old Man 
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Captain Spitfire,

You're amazingly brazen. Do you know that? Flat-out attempting to steal Rainbow Dash from her team to replace Soarin after an injury? It's so forward with deceitful tact that I almost thought this report from the judges on your behavior was a joke.

It was not.

You know that the event was judged, right? The judges actively go around the grounds inspecting the competing teams--seeing their exercise routines, monitoring their meals, things personal trainers would normally do in consideration of this physical event. They're not all doe-eyed idiots--er, except for one, who's an actual doe. And even she could clearly see your behavior.

They still let you participate once Soarin came back from medical, but this behavior was so egregious on your behalf they felt the need to let me know that my head Captain of the Wonderbolts' actions are lacking in subtlety. It was probably as bad as my sister with her megaphone calmly addressing the nobles as to why one night came two, TWO minutes late.

"DON'T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN NITPICK MY NIGHTTIME?!"

"NO!" They shouted back.

Nobles: can't live with them, wish I could live without them.

I digress. Spitfire, what you've done today is something I cannot ignore. Even if you took away something from Rainbow Dash's loyalty today, I can't just let you go with a slap on the hoof and walk off without drilling a lesson into your head on proper attitude towards fellow students/competitors.

So, you'll attend a noble etiquette class that Luna's teaching tomorrow evening, where she will cover all sorts of helpful topics like basic pony decency to other creatures, proper times to flaunt your wealth (hint: never, because you always look like an arsehole), and a baking class. You know, because sharing baked goods puts smiles on everypony's faces.

Well, I don't know about Luna's baking giving smiles, but the idea is there. Anyway, there is no worming your way out of this. If you're not there, Luna will get you in class via express delivery by a pair of ivory white talons.

And judging from the screams I heard, you don't want those.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Hm? Sure, Luna. I can spare a bit of time trying out one of your lessons.

You're starting it with a pop quiz?! But I didn't even study! I don't even know what it's on!

Fine. Question 1: If you find a baby in an unattended carriage sucking a lollipop, you...

A. Take the candy and tell the baby it's unhealthy, then take a puff from your pipe/cigarette. 

B. Berate the parent when they return for being negligent while the baby's crying, for added parental guilt.

C. Throw money at it, because that solves all of life's problems.

D. File a formal complaint to Celestia asking for unattended babies to be held accountable for public disturbances when they cry.

E. All of the above.