//------------------------------// // Really? Really! // Story: My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic! // by jon646an //------------------------------// After many hours of traveling through the harsh winter and Nappa's annoyances, the group finally made it to the Crystal Empire. "Wow, there's more Crystal here than a drug lab," mused Nappa. "I'm going to ignore that," said Twilight. "Anyways, we should look at the tower where the crystal heart is located." "You do that. I have to go back to the Crystal castle and speak with Cadence. Stay safe," said Shining before leaving toward the castle. "Alright girls, you know the drill! We find any clues about the Crystal heart in that tower. If you find anything, report it to me, got it?" commanded Twilight. "Um..." "Fluttershy and Nappa left, did they?" "Fluttershy said something about a walk," said Rarity. The rest of the mares and dragon nodded to this. Twilight sighed but decided to leave them be. "Just forget them, it's not like they can do a lot of damage right?" Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang...! Nappa Smash! "Aaaaaannnnnnd I jinxed it, didn't I?" said Twilight with a straight face. "Big time," said the mares and dragon. Twilight Own Count: 11 The mane five and Spike walked toward the tower, only to see that there was a shit ton of stairs leading it. Rainbow then notice a sign nearby. "Hey Twilight?" "Not now, we got a Crystal heart to located!" shouted Twilight as she started running up the stairs. The rest were about to follow but Rainbow stopped them. "What's the big idea?!" asked Applejack. Rainbow simply pointed her hoof toward the sign near them. The group saw it, read it, then face-hoofed. The signs says, The Crystal heart was given to Chrysalis of the changelings after recents events with Sombra caused the bug to drain all of her love. To find the heart, ask the queen "Well, go figure," stated Spike. "HEY TWILIGHT!" "CAN'T TALK!" shouted back Twilight. "ALMOST REACHING THE TOP! JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE- OH FAUST I TRIPPED ON A ROCK!" The sounds of pain can be heard as Twilight started falling down the stairs from top to bottom. The group couldn't help but muse at each flight Twilight fell down. This continued for a few moments until Twilight reached the ground, looking all worn out. "Owwww," was the noise she made. Twilight Own Count: 12 "Twilight, the heart ain't up there according to the sign," said Applejack, pointing at said sign. Twilight looked where Applejack was pointing, read it, then groaned. "Let's just go to the castle." ---- The group walked toward the castle where Shining and Cadence were at. When they entered the courtroom, they saw not only Shining and his wife, but also Chrysalis and Luna. "Princess Luna! Chrysalis! What are you two doing here?" asked Pinkie. "Well, I just remembered that Sombra gave me the Crystal heart after my love was drained from the, ahem, nightly activities." explained Chrysalis with a small green blush. "And I here because Celestia is doing something to Discord in which I want no part of," explained Luna. "Doing what?" asked Twilight. ----- Discord was tied to the posts of a large white bed. In front of him was Celestia, who was no longer wearing the maid outfit but was wearing something even more revealing. That something? Socks. Pink, cottony socks. She had an crazed look on her face that told Discord that she was about to do something crazy. "Celestia! You don't have to do this!" "Oh yes I can!" yelled Celestia. "You know how it feels to be over a thousand years and still be a virgin?!? Chrysalis lost hers to Sombra, Cadence to Shining! Heck, I even found out that Luna lost hers during her banishment to some guy who claims to be a 'fuck mothering vampire'! Well not anymore!" "So we just do it and you'll be happy, right?" said Discord, sweating at an alarming rate. He sweated even faster when he saw Celestia grinned evilly. "Oh, I'm not stopping there. I want to go even further than that!" "What could you want after losing your V-card?!?" shouted Discord. Celestia moved closer to the chaos god and whispered to his ear, "I...want...foals." It was at that moment that Discord realize that Celestia had just made him her bitch. ---- "You do not want to know," shuddered Luna. Suddenly, she heard voices outside the courtroom. The rest quieted down to listen as well. "What- what do you mean you forgot the song?" "Hey, I had no bits and Space Amazon don't work here." "Okay, screw, screw it, no screw it, screw it! Just take my phone and hit random." "When did you get a phone?" "Just hit random! Okay, one, two, three, GO!" The doors opened and walked in Fluttershy and Nappa while the song "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks played. "Okay turn it off, turn it off! It did not work, it did not work." "About time you got here," spoke Twilight. "What took you so long?" "Oh you know, just took an enthusiastic walk," said Fluttershy. "Which resulted in many crystal ponies in the hospital." "VERY enthusiastic walks indeed." smiled Fluttershy. At that moment, the doors were destroyed and entered Sombra and Raditz. "Sup bitches!" greeted Sombra. "How in Tartarus did they get in?!?" yelled Cadence. "We had over a hundred guards!" "Wait, those were ours?" asked Fluttershy. "I mean- oh no, how did they get past the guards." "Wait a minute- Raditz is your help?! Bwa ha ha ha ha!" laughed Nappa when he saw Raditz. Said saiyan who was as strong as a saibamen did not took the laugh very well. "Hey! Don't laugh at me! Have you forgotten a little detail from the saiyan handbook?" "Honestly, I never read it. I kept it as emergency toilet paper," mused Nappa. "It states," spoke Raditz, "that a Saiyan will get a immense power gain from near death." "But Raditz, you didn't get near death. You actually died!" pointed out Nappa. Raditz's eyes widen when he realized this. "Aw, crab baskets!" "Now, Imma firing my- BWRAR!" shouted Nappa before his face was replace by a crudely drawn mouth that fired a laser from its mouth. "Oh come on! That joke's already been done!" shouted Pinkie as Raditz was hit from the laser, burning his skin. He then dropped to the ground. "You know, you could've just, geez I don't know, DOOOOOOOODDDDDDDGGGGGGEEEEEE!" said Pinkie. Raditz did not thought this through. "Damn you hindsight-Bleh!" he shouted before falling dead. "Wow, is it weird for me to say I saw this coming?" said Sombra. "Not really," answered everypony, plus Nappa. "In that case, PREPARE YOURSELF FOR I, THE CRYSTAL FUCKER-!!!" "Okay, what the fuck?" shouted Alucard as he phased through a wall, shocking the occupants. "Why the hell are you stealing my title?!?" "I'm the king here! I get what i want! Not a stupid looking monkey." "Bitch, I'm the fuck-mothering vampire! I killed a lot of people to get that title, so I am to be called such." said Alucard. "Please, compare to you, I am a demi-god!" shouted Sombra. "Really? Really." "Really." "Really?" "Really!" "Really." "Really!!" "Releasing Restraint, Level one." said Alucard as he did his, whatever that is. "Leve what?" asked Sombra before being eaten alived by Baskerville. This was the last time anybody will see the self centered tyrant. "Aaaaaaaannd, I win," smirked Alucard before leaving to go back to the hideout and watch on Popo's seventy-ONE inch Plasma screen TV. Normally, in under normal circumstances, this would have freak out the girls, but recent events shows that unfortunately, they expected this to happen. Still, Twilight did not approved of Alucard's behavior. "If you were to learn a little friendship, you could have avoid eating Sombra," muttered Twilight. Alucard stopped midstep and spoke. "Okay, one, he had it coming for stealing my title." "Okay, then what's the second?" "BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!"