A Full Month of Ponies
Let’s put it this way. After living a tough life of day to day fighting just to stay alive, having to scavenge food constantly, deal with pesky and deadly beasts who only viewed you as food, and fighting a war against a bat shit insane army that wanted to torch and burn everything, I had created a routine.
First I would wake up, and grab whatever food I had on hand. Next, I would get my gear ready no matter what needed to be done. I would then proceed to walk around the Mojave for a bit, usually going a certain direction or at least towards a general area of interest. That step was interspersed with killing whatever tried to kill me in the process. Finally, I would do what needed to be done in that area before repeating steps three and four. Eventually, at the end of the day I would have racked up at least ten kills of some sort and would have gotten something important done.
To sum up what I was feeling after being thrown out of my routine by this land of ponies: I was fucking bored.
I was attaining a new level of bored that transcended from regular boredom to a new plane of existence that made every minute stretch as long as a week. A fucking week!
I couldn’t go hunting, since there was nothing to hunt … I couldn’t go exploring since they didn’t want me to leave the city unless escorted by one of them (by them I meant the two alicorns that seemed to watch over my every move somehow), and I couldn’t even shoot my weapon! Though that last one was because I didn’t have a way to resupply myself.
I ended up fixing that last problem though, in the form of letting Sparklebutt examine my stuff. I had to actually roll up a nearby magazine in order to keep her from dismantling my weapons. She kept complaining about it though, saying ‘I can put them back together!’ but I just kept swatting her. Apparently the best way to nullify magic being cast (her words not mine) was to make physical contact with the horn. Though she immediately bragged about being able to keep casting through such contact.
She was not impervious to my magazine to the flank technique, though.
In the end, it devolved into a name calling argument again. This time it got so bad, that Luna had to step in and intervene. Admittedly it was funny that Luna’s jaw was able to drop that far, and it was that day I found out that ponies can indeed blush. It was unnatural, though … not just darkening or redding of the fur … there was literal red as in it just sat on top of the fur like it was pasted on or something. Fucking weird.
Where was I? Oh yeah, ammo problem. Well, after our little confrontation, Sparkle wanted to see if she could reverse engineer my ammo. At that precise moment, I didn’t think of the possible ramifications of equipping ponies with guns. All I wanted was access to more ammo so that when the time came, I would be able to have a nice build up. Now though … well I’m not too worried since as the saying went ‘necessity is the mother of invention’ and from what I saw on a daily basis, there was no need for guns.
Besides … eventually they would have figured it out if they needed to and no doubt, just like now, Sparklebutt would have been the one to get it all set up. ‘Gun Trotters: Equestria’s Premier source of Weaponry’ with the President and founder being the ‘Princess of Friendship.’
Let me tell you, when I first thought of that a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t stop laughing whenever I saw her. I would walk by her in the hall and just start breaking down laughing at the thought of her dressing in a business suit and talking about weapon mechanisms.
Anyways, once more getting back on track, I was eventually given a suggestion by Celestia as to ways to keep me from being bored. Said ways involved me working out with the guard. Yeah, that lasted a few days before I found their ‘training’ to be too formal for what I did. Sure I still plan to train with them every other day, but for other reasons that don’t involve being bored.
I guess if I wasn’t itching to continue my routine, this place would have been rather nice to settle down. The locals were nice, weather wasn’t too bad, and there wasn’t any sort of post-apocalyptic issues to worry about. You know, the sort of place that you could retire to.
Wow, now that I’ve re-read this past page I’ve come to the conclusion that I am truly fucked in the head. I would willingly give up paradise in order to kill things and fight day to day. Sheesh … kind of wishing that I did make it to Canada in the first place.
Right, one full month. A full month of boredom and the best hospitality that one could ask for. I honestly don’t know what I am complaining about anymore.
Perhaps I’ll go talk to Luna after this. She looks like she’s been meaning to say something for a bit now. For now, I think I’m going to just sit under this tree and nap.
