//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Sunken Ships // Story: Knickerbockers Below The Knee // by Masterweaver //------------------------------// "CAAAAAAKE. So much cake. So much wow." Pinkie swirled the mix in the bowl, the whisk in her hooves twirling. "I cannot believe how many ponies are going to need cake this week. It's like international cake week in this kitchen. Yeah, I love making cake, you know? It's just so cakey!" The spoon she was talking to remained silent. "Cakey cakey cake. I just... It's cake. Caaaaaaaake." Pinkie sighed. "I miss the Cakes. I miss them all, big and small. I'm happy they finally got to go on that vacation as a family, but.... it's been two months now. I think I need something to distract me, you know what I mean spoony? Otherwise my mind is just going to go what and whoop-dee-da and then I'll be wandering around the forests of thought without any direction and you know how the last time that happened I ended up in... wow, I don't want to think about it!" Her eyes rolled up to glare at her forehead. "Brain, why can't you stop thinking once in a while? I'm crazy enough already!" Pinkie, I was designed to think. "You were designed to maintain my vital biological processes!" Okay, yeah, but part of that requires thinking. Look, if you were starving or something I wouldn't think, but you're perfectly fine and I'm boooooooooooored! "Oh no. Don't you dare. Don't you dare!" ....I wonder what ultraviolet light looks like. "DARNIT BRAIN!" But it was too late. Already Pinkie Pie was speculating on the colors beyond violet would appear like, how flowers would taste if she were a bee, and if it was possible to naturally induce her visual processes into expanding. She already knew that some ponies had color detecting organs on portions of their retina where light would not normally hit, and it wasn't outside the realm of probability that they could contain ultraviolet receptors... "Um... Pinkie?" Pinkie Pie spun on the spot, her eyes going wide as she saw one of her friends walking through the side door. "FLUTTERSHY! Just the pony I needed to see!" She punced on the poor mare, her expression dead serious. "I need to know something very important: Do. You. Have. Bee. Glasses?" "....I... I have a Bee suit, if that's what you're asking--" "Darnit." Pinkie released the pegasus. "This is going to bug me for hours--oh, hey, bug me. I didn't even realize! Heee hee. So why are you here anyway?" "I need to tell you something. Something... important." Fluttershy bit her lip. "It's not going to be very pleasant." "...oh my gosh." Pinkie stared at her, her lips quivering. "Is... is she going to be okay?" "Who?" "Whoever's in the hospital!" "What?" "I mean, that's what you came to talk to me about, right?" Pinkie gasped. "Unless it's more than one pony. Did something happen to the whole apple family?! Was Canterlot attacked by a giant cockatrice?! Fluttershy, I have to know what's going on!" "Applejack asked Rainbow Dash out on a date!" There was a moment where one could hear a pin drop. "...Oh." Pinkie took a breath. "Okay, whew. I was thinking something a lot worse was going on. I mean, don't get me wrong, AJ must'a been heartbroken when Rainbow Dash said no, but--" "Actually, they did go out," Fluttershy clarified. "On a date." "Wait. WHAT?!" The pegasus nodded. "This is a problem, Pinkie. A big problem." "I'll say! Poor Soarin's going to be so torn up when he finds out!" The earth pony pulled a book out of nowhere, scribbling charts into it with fervent energy. "He won't be able to focus on his Wonderbolt duties and he'll go into a depressive spiral that leads to the Wonderbolts being ousted as utterly useless and then the whole group will fall apart and Dashie will never get to live her dream and pegasi everywhere will suffer from a lack of motivation!" "Um... what?" "And that's not going into how poor Caramel's going to feel when he finds out his crush is ignoring him for another pegasus!" Pinkie gasped as she turned the page. "The fallout from this dalliance could be catastrophic and have long reaching implications for the societal construction of Equestria as we know it!" She snapped the book shut. "Fluttershy, thank you for bringing this to my attention. Rest assured, the situation is going to be handled by professionals who know what they are doing. You may have just saved the world as we know it." "You're... welcome?" Fluttershy started backing cautiously out of the kitchen. "Actually, I think I should be going." "You're right. If we fail, somepony has to prepare to survive the apocalypse." Pinkie waved her out the door. "Go build your bunker, my friend! Save as many animals as you can! Never before have we faced such a threat, and even a veteran like me can't predict what will happen. I can only hope you won't need such drastic actions, but it is better to be safe!" The door slammed shut in Fluttershy's baffled face. Pinkie nodded grimly, turned to the oven, and slid a panel up to reveal a hidden phone. She blew the dust off, took a steadying breath, and held the pink receiver to her ear. "This is agent Flooflemane. We have a code Discord situation."