//------------------------------// // Bald and Sexy // Story: My little Popo: Teamfourstar is Magic! // by jon646an //------------------------------// Popo was laughing The laugh was, undeniably, the most scariest thing they ever heard in their entire mortal lives. Chrysalis, Discord, Celestia, and Luna heard it plenty of times, but it still scared the shit out of them whenever they hear it. Right now, Mr. Popo was laughing at the changeling maggot who thought could intimidate him. Obviously, they never learn the pecking order. Time to lay it upon these fools. "Alright maggots listen up," spoke Mr. Popo. "Obviously, that useless maggot didn't know about the pecking order, so now I'm going to teach it to you." Twilight then spoke, "Um, you already told us about the peckin-" "Shut up maggot!" shouted Mr. Popo. The sky suddenly turned bloody red, which scared a lot of ponies and changelings inside. "Sorry!" apologized Twilight. Twilight Own Count: 7 The sky turned back to normal, prompting Mr. Popo to continue speaking. "As I was saying, I will teach you all the pecking order. There's you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, and Popo. Any other questions?" Everyone shooked their heads. Mr. Popo frowned a bit. He was hoping someone would ask so he can bitchslapped them. "Good, we can begin.... the reception party!" "Um, actually we don't have a band since, well, my subjects sorta trapped the players," meekly said Chrysalis. 'Ooh, Ooh! I wanna sing!' 'Shut up Nappa! Not even Popo himself could hear you!' "Oh, I heard that," said Popo smiling. This shocked Chrysalis. "Wait, what?" "POPO!" A large cloud of smoke appeared on the altar, which revealed a tall, muscular man wearing saiyan armor. Did I mention he's bald and has a modeling career face? "No...way! I'm alive!" shouted Nappa. "Huh, didn't know he could do that," said Discord. Chrysalis had on a face of pure horror written on it. She can believe that Mr. Popo just brought out, HIM! That horror increased ten fold when Nappa looked at her. "Hey Chrysalis!" 'No...' "I'm alive!" 'No, no, no... "You know what that means?" 'NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...!' Nappa suddenly gabe Chrysalis a big hug. "We're going to be able to hang out and be the bestest of friends!" Finally, Chrysalis couldn't take it anymore. "FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!" "I know, the best. Check out all these bald ponies. There's me, those changelings, and, uh, UH!" "So, what exactly are you planning to do?" asked Spike. Nappa released Chrysalis (who was still cursing) and stared at the mini dragon. "Chrysalis, look! A pokemon," said Nappa. "-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" "A what?! No, I'm Spike," corrected the dragon assistant. "You hear that Chrysalis? It's a Spike! If only I had a- hey, wait a minute." Nappa reach to his side and pulled out a small pokeball. "I forgot I keep a spare for emergencies like this!" He clicked on the button, causing the pokeball to grow a little. "Wow how did you do tha- OW!" Spike said before he was hit on the face with the pokeball. "Aw man! I didn't catch it!" complained Nappa. "Oh well, time to sing! But first, I need some equipment." "Oh please, allow me," said Popo. "POPO!" Smoke covered the room, and when it died out, there was a bunch of equipment, and A bunch of bald people that includes Krillin, Tien, Roshi, Piccolo and even those who had died like Ginyu, Guldo, Burter, Frieza, and even Guru! As always, Krillin makes a scene. "What the hell! One moment, I was about to put the moves on an android girl, the next thing I knew, I'm here!" "Okay, one, I don't believe you," said Nappa. "Aww." Krillin Own Count: Too much to count "Second, we're about to do take two of Bald This Way!" "Hell no," countered Tien. "No way in hell I'm doing this shit. There's nothing you can do that change my mind." "Hiiiiiiiiiii." "....on second thought, maybe I should sing." "Yay!" cheered Nappa. The man-child saiyan passed out some scripts to the bald singers. "Alright, look at them, read 'em, memorize' em, then sing 'em. It's show time people!" "-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKK! Wait, what's going on?" Chrysalis's question was answered when Nappa took the mic and grabbed everyone's attention. "Testing, one two, is this thing on?" he said. "Ponies, Changelings, and pokemon-" "SPIKE!" "Whatever. Welcome to the reception party! For those who don't know me, I am Nappa, former chancellor to king Vegeta, former modeling spokesman, former movie director-" "Hey that reminds me," interrupted Krillin. "You swindled me for that one movie idea." "Don't care. And also, I am a Saiyan. Now let's start this party!" Music started playing in the background. It was sort of like techno. Ponies, changelings, and their gods watched as Nappa took the stand. Nappa: It doesn't matter if you love me... or capital M-E. Just put your shiney heads up... 'cause you are bald this way baby. My momma told me when I was young, "You're gonna roam the stars!" (SPAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCEEEEEEE!) She combed my tail, put my armor on And sent me off in my space pod Krillin: All you need to do is shave your hair Then wax that bitch until it shines (light shones on his head, reflects itself onto a random changeling, killing it from the intensity of Krillin's baldness, much to Chrysalis's horror) Who gives a crap if all the children stare Just listen up and you'll be fine (scanning.... bald and sexy) Nappa:I'm beautiful in my way Kami makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I am bald this way! Krillin: Don't hide yourself in regret Just power up and you're set We're on the right track baby 'Cause we're bald this way! (Bald this way!) Ginyu (to replace Tien): Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i was bald this way Baby i was bald this way! (Bald this way!) Chiaotzu: Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i was Bald this way Nappa: Right track baby We were bald this way! Burter: Don't let it drag just let it gleam Guldo: Don't let it drag just let it gleam King Kai: Don't let it drag just let it gleam Vegeta Jr (Saibamen one before being killed by Vegeta): Don't be Piccolo (In Yoshi outfit): Get rid of stubble and love your head Yoshi boy embrace the truth In the life of a Namekian I must be this way respect my youth Nappa: A different baldy is not a sin Believe capital M and E (Hey Hey Hey) I love my head, i love this baldness song Mi Scalp it will blow you away (blow you away) I'm beautiful in my way Kami makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I am bald this way! Krillin: Don't hide yourself in regret Just power up and you're set We're on the right track baby 'Cause we're bald this way! (Bald this way!) Ginyu: Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am bald this way Baby i am bald this way! (Bald this way!) Chiaotzu: Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am Bald this way Nappa: Right track baby We are bald this way! Popo: waaaayyyyy Nail: Don't Be Guru: Naaail Don't let it drag just let it gleam whether black, white, blue or green your saiyan blood, namek descent your Kami teams, your Guru heads Kami: Whether life's abilities choice to shave or biology Rejoice to love your head today cos Guru (Guru:Yeah) We are bald this way Dende: No matter insect or kai Freiza or human life I'm on the right track baby cos i'm gonna survive No matter how dark the days my head will reflect all those rays I'm on the right track Krillin But my name is Dende Frieza (talks it):I'm beautiful in my way Kami makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I am bald this way! Krillin: Don't hide yourself in regret Nappa: Just power up and you're set Both: We're on the right track baby 'Cause we're bald this way! (Tien: Yeeaaaah) Tien (with reluctance): Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am bald this way Baby i am bald this way (Bald this way) Ooh there ain't no other way Baby i am born this way Right track baby I am bald this way All: I am bald this way hey i am bald this way hey i'm on the right track baby we are bald this way hey! I am bald this way heeey i am bald this way hey i'm on the right track baby we are bald this way hey! Nappa: Same Bald Way We're Bald this way Same Bald way We're bald this way! When it was over, everyone was quiet. Then, they all started stomping their hooves, which signifies that they love the song! Nappa was shedding manly tears of joy. "We did it! We manage to finish the song!" "Yeah, that's great and all, but can we go home now?" complained Tien. Popo laughed at this. "Oh hell no, you're staying here to enjoy all of this. Consider this my one time good deed to you," said Popo. "Yeah Tien, relax a little," spoke Krillin. "I change my mind, you're all going home, and you can thank that maggot over there." "Wait, what?" "Byyyyyyyeeeeeee!" "Nnnnoooooooooooo!" shout Krillin before he and the other summons were sent back to their respective places. Krillin Own Count: I lost count As the ponies and changelings ease up and celebrated, Twilight spoke to her friends. "I don't like this." "Oh, he's not so bad Twilight. He's doing what's best for everyone," softly spoke Fluttershy. Unknown to the shy pegasus, Popo heard her, but instead of mocking her, he SMILED! Not the evil ones, but a genuine smile. 'Excellent, I found my new partner.' "Fluttershy's right, sugarcube," spoke Applejack. Twilight gave the farmer a sigh. "Maybe you're right." "You should just relax. Just do this." Rainbow cracked her neck, making a small crack from it. "You know, that does sound relaxing. Maybe that's what I need." With that, Twilight attempted to cracked her neck, only for her to actually crack the whole thing. "Oh Faust, my neck!" Twilight Own Count: 8