//------------------------------// // Of Flims and Flams // Story: Cowponies // by East Coast //------------------------------// Song-What I learned out on the road, by Kid Rock. Please support the official release. [Note, the song has been modified for pony usage. Thank you.] ------ It was raining. "Sooooo...Rain...Whatta ya plan to do now mister? "...I plan ta walk in this here rain, get ta ponyville." "What? That's a pretty dumb idea. Why would you walk in this rain, it's dumb." "You callin me dumb?" "...Mayyyyybe..." "Ah don hear you commin up with any good ideas." "That's cause you can't hear what I haven't ever said~! Duh, Silly~!" Six shook his head and sighed, the white pegasus was about as bright as a dark,cloudy night but she did seem to be...Earthbound. In the sense that she wasn't at all uppity toward him, which meant she was ok in his book. However she was crazy, an unhealthy level of crazy at that. "Oooh! I know! Let's go to the soggy bucket!" "The soggy bucket?" "It's a inn in town and in the inn in town is a nice bed with my name on it! Ohhh and the best muffins this side of the...something...C'mon let's go!" Surprise grabbed his horn and started dragging him out, he protested by putting his hooves out and using them to brace in the ground. This yielded no effect in the muck of the mud that had become the streets of Fillydelphia and the only thing he accomplished was getting his hooves covered in mud. "leh go of mah horn yah crazy-!" "But...We're here?" Six looked up at Surprise, despite the oncoming torrent of water her mane was still...poofy, the water hit it,but then it just slipped down it like it was protected by some antiwater shield. Six on the other hoof was not so lucky, his desperado hat was drooping with wetness and his mane was now dropped in front of his eyes which made surprise giggle. "Hehehahahohehe~! You look good with your mane soaked and fallen over that eye!" "Yeah well...Shudup! Let's just git inside." Surprise,stil laughing opened the door with a wing as six trotted in miserably, what made it worse was as he trotted in he was hit with a blast of water that engulfed his body. "haha! oops, Sorry there friend!" "Yessir, terribly,unequally sorry for that little fumble. Didn't know you were walking in!" "But hey, ya gotta admit,you're dryer than when ya came in huh?" "Yes everpony look! Our fantastic machine had indeed used water, to dry off this kind stallion!" "And, sense we're so sorry it hit cha by surprise. We won't charge you a thing!" Six rubbed the water out of his eyes and whoever had addressed him was right, the water was strangely warm,clearly magically enchanted and it had done it's job, only his mane remained wet but his coat was dry and more importantly so was his hat, he floated it off and dropped it on the hat rack and ran his hooves through his mane getting the water on the floor. He looked at the room around him, rather spacious for an inn, especially when he took into account there was maybe thirty ponies excluding himself,surprise and the two unicorns mounted atop what appeared to be a giant hose. They were clad in peppermint striped suits, one had a mustache and the other had long hair. "See for your self everpony! That fair stallion is now dry!" "Hazah!" The crowd was clearly enamored by the duo and six might have been too if he weren't a little too ticked they had shot him with a small lake of water. "Hey! I don know who ya think you are but I ain't no guinea pig! Now git down here so I can buck you both in your ugly,matching mugs!" "Wellhellwell, Brother of mine. Looks like we've got a challenger!" "I'd say we have that indeed. Well sir, if your looking for a good, fair contest of strength-" "We're afraid you came to the wrong place! We're pacifists you see, we don't fight like neanderthals." "But! If you'd like to wager that guitar-" "Show what, if any-" "Skill you have with it-" "We'd be more than happy to agree to a sort of-" "A kind of-" The word they were looking for found them both at the same time and they sang it in a harmonizing tone "Competition~!" "Competition~!" Six stared at the two, that last bit wasn't them looking for the right word,they harmonized on purpose. They were suggesting a battle of musicians and they had just shown him that they could work a crowd,finish each others sentences,and sing in harmony with the other...To a musician, those things were a dangerous combination. Especially sense they already had a hoof or two on the crowd. "Hey surprise...Can ya sing?" "do-re-me-fa-so-la-si-doooooo~!" "Naw I mean sing, sing." "I've never been THERE before! I hear it's pretty bad." "I'm bein serious!" The pegasus frowned but nodded "Good, yer mah backup, an that means you two are on." The duo smiled as their horns shown a bright green light as their hose fell back into their machine "Now, fillys and gentlecolts what has just happened here is that-" "This stallion right here has issued a challenge to us-" "That we have graciously accepted-" "it is a musical competiton-" "And the winner is decided by you fine folk-" "Yes you! All of you decided which duo of ponies you thought was more-" 'More-" More-" "Non parlie~!" "Non Parlie~!" And with that they shot a dual stranded magic beam at their machine and it began clunking out a sort of melody, the duo hopped on their machine and started bobbing to the beat. It only took them moments to get into the groove of their self composed beat and work the crowd like devils, spraying nonsense science about how their machine turns cider into hot water that magically drys ponies and how this was essential to everyday life. The only two ponies not on-board completely by the end were Six-string and Surprise. The duo ended with a slide through the crowd, ending at the hooves of six. "Yeah!" Surprsie floated to Six hesitantly and lowered herself to his ears to keep their conversation private "I'll distract them. You go and drop a bunch of eggs down their machine while I stop nightmare moon...I think if we're quick enough, and lucky enough...We might make it look like they were actually bad up there." "That weren't singin, that was show. No substance. C'mon. Just follow my lead." Flim and Flam bowed to Six as the moved their machine so he could get to the tiny stage, six adjusted the microphone and Wrapped his guitar in magic so it could project to the crowd. "Ahem, check one, check two. Mic, Mic, Mic...Okay... Headin' for the south lands, lookin' for some fun Down below that Trxie mason I know your the one My tongue is chasin' my eyes are wide, I can see paradise I been down here only once or twice but I ain't never seen it look so nice ahhhhhhhhh yeahhhh~ ahhhhhhhhh yeah yeah~ I like it with the grass cut low Big mountain tops, valley below I love it when you scream out my name Surprise chimed in as she picked up her cue Six-String, what you say? Six-String, what you say? Six-String, what you say?! Six-String Yeahhhhh! Cause I'ma bad maama jamma from Detrot city Rock from southern Applebama back to Big-Macanow city I'm raw and greedy, show me, gimme, I'll nick it Gimme a Flimmy and a Flammy I'll kick it Pick me up lady or beam me up scottie Late night shaddy let me slip it in your body I'ma scramblin' ramblin' straight travelin' colt Spreadin' Moejo Sam, please understand From Detrot to New Foal-leans I love the life but I never sold my soul All them late nights, and early mornings Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road You know I've tried a thousand times and I've tried to explain And I've cried a thousand times over things that I can't change I've learned a lot you know, I grow each passing day And I blame nopony but myself for mistakes that I have made Bein' a bad maama jamma from Detrot city Rock from southern Applebama back to Big-Macanow city I'm raw and greedy, show me gimme, I'll nick it Gimme a Flimmy and a Flammy I'll kick it Pick me up lady or beam me up scottie Late night shaddy let me slip it in your body I'ma scramblin' ramblin' straight travelin' colt Spreadin' Moejo Sam, please understand From Detrot to New Foal-leans I love the life but I never sold my soul All them late nights, and early mornings Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road Lord knows when your not here, I get so damn bored of me And I've spent some lonely nights that didn't have to be And if you could only see, I swear I'd show you true And although I carry a load out on the road, I wanna come back home to you! From Detrot to New Foal-leans I love the life but I never sold my soul All them late nights, and early mornings Let me show you what I learned out on the road From Detrot to Canterlot I love the life but I never sold my soul From Ponyville down to Filly Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road~! The only thing more satisfying to six then watching the crowd stomp their hooves so hard on the floor of the little inn that it made the whole place shake, was watching Flim and Flam slink out the door with their machine in tow avoiding any and all ponies between them and the exit "OHMYGOSH SIX~!" "Aeyup...I ain't to bad..." "Nooo not that! You didn't muddle up to many words! You should sing everything you say!"