"And so, I do hereby call the first meeting of the Salvation Council to order!"
The enormous chamber, full of experts in every conceivable field of science, plus a few experts in mythology, quietened down.
The speaker cleared his throat. "As Chairman, I call on Princess Celestia to explain the situation."
In the front row of the auditorium, the Sun Princess left her seats next to her sister and her student and trotted calmly to the stage and sat down behind the podium. She gave a sad smile and began her explanation.
"As you are all aware, my kingdom, Equestria, recently relocated to the Pacific Ocean from our previous world." There was a moment as nearly one hundred of those present pressed the buzzer on their desk that meant they wanted to ask a question.
Celestia preempted the questions. "No, I have absolutely no idea how this happened. I can think of perhaps 3 forces capable of this sort of magic, and none of them have been anything but blatant in their past actions. Yes, I asked them anyway. They denied doing it, denied being capable of doing it, and I believe them. Importantly, neither those forces, nor my Sister and I are capable of moving Equestria back, so that convenient avenue is lost to us."
The Council seemed mostly satisfied with that answer.
"The most immedient of problems caused by our presence is the rouge weather patterns your world is suffering from. Currently, every able bodied pegasus who answers to the crown is working with weather scientists all around the world to try and mitigate the damage."
That was absolutely true, in fact. It was amazing what those 'computer models' could work out: start a good breeze here, and suddenly that hurricane off the coast heads back out to sea. That had left Equestria devoid of weather managers, which had curiously led to the Griffons offering to keep the weather running while the ponies worked. Celestia hoped her ponies back home could tough it out while the pegasi kept Earth from (figuratively) shaking to pieces.
Behind her, the screen displayed an image of the Barrier that was the cause of the Council in the first place.
"The Barrier.... to be quite frank, I have no idea what caused it." One of the scientists activated his buzzer, so Celestia allowed him his question.
"Does Magic fill a vacuum? That is, could this be a case of magic propagating into a magic-free environment?" Asked the Asian particle physicist.
"That is indeed how magic behaves, but not in this fashion. We have made magical vacuums both before and after the transition, and we haven't seen Barrier-like behavior either time. The anti-technology angle in particular is very strange - my little ponies have been using hydro-electric power for some years now, and magic has had no problems with it. The fact that it is attacking your people is also nonsensical: if not having magic meant magic killed you, none of the animals in Equestria would still be there."
Another buzz. "So, in theory, it isn't that our world lacked magic, but some other factor which caused this Barrier?" Asked a female Briton.
Celestia nodded. "Most definitely. I would say that some intelligence is behind it, but the power and skill to create a barrier such as this almost exceeds that needed to transport Equestria. Suffice to say, if someone did create this deliberately, I have no idea who or how."
Celestia scanned the faces in the room, noting somewhat disappointingly that many of the faces gathered there were displaying clear disbelief. To be fair, it is their world which is dying while mine is thriving. She would just have to earn their trust the hard way.
The chairman spoke again. "Describe for us the expansion of the Barrier."
"Of course." Celestia nodded. "The Barrier is expanding constantly at a walking pace in all directions - " A buzzer interrupted her, to her mild surprise.
"Actually Princess, that isn't quite true." When the room broke out into mutters, the Russian scientist hurried to explain himself. "To clarify, you are correct about the speed of expansion, but the Barrier halted it's progress into space at the outer limits of the atmosphere, about 100 kilometers straight up. I have the satellite images to prove it, should you wish to view it."
Celestia's expression became grateful. "That is excellent news! That rules out more than half the theories I had on the Barrier's cause. It would mean the Barrier is seeking to cover this planet specifically, not the universe as a whole."
Buzz came an Indian engineer. "Does this mean if we could move Equestria to another planet, Earth would be safe?"
Celestia's eyebrows knit together. "I believe so, yes."
Buzz. "Can we?"
"Well..." Celestia chewed the question over. "My sister and I could certainly move Equestria - we are used to moving much heavier things, and the Barrier would hold the environment together. The problem would be separating Equestria from Earth. Telekinesis, even the variant my Sister and I use, merely moves an object. It cannot be used to alter an object - and in this case the planet Earth would count as one object, Equestria and all."
Buzz. "Can't you just use magic to stop the Barrier in the first place?"
Celestia gave a sad smile. "The Barrier absorbs attempts to magically alter it, I'm afraid. And our usual counter for such situations, the Elements of Harmony... well, they seem to think of the Barrier as a natural disaster. That is, they can no more befriend this then they can a earthquake."
Buzz. "So, we can't make it some other planet's problem, and we can't magically make it disappear... any serious suggestions?"
"Hey! Those are serious suggestions, man!"
"Get real!"
And before her eyes, the auditorium devolved into one giant incoherent shouting match. As the chairman struggled to regain order, Celestia sighed.
Twilight Sparkle gathered up her notes. After failing to calm the shouting, the chairman had declared an early lunch break. She and the Royal Sisters had gone to the hotel that had been leased to Equestria for the conference.
Celestia came and sat down next to her student, as did Luna. "What a mess." She groaned, eyes shut. Opening one eye to look at Twilight, she asked "Any breakthroughs in your research, my faithful student?"
Twilight organized her jumbled thoughts as best she could. "Well, humans have many belief systems that sound like they could be their version of the Elements of Harmony, but as far as I can tell, none of them have a physical form."
"Oh?" Luna queried.
"Well, for example the most popular belief system in the world has something called the 'Fruits of the Spirit'."
Celestia, fully aware that the Elements of Harmony came from a tree, perked up.
"The Fruits in question are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Twilight continued.
Celestia blinked.
Twilight looked sheepish. "It's a bit of a stretch, but if you take 'Joy' to be 'Laughter', 'Faithfulness' to be 'Loyalty', and 'Goodness' to include 'Honesty', then the remaining Fruits would seem to cover 'Generosity' and 'Kindness' is explicitly included."
Luna wondered what an Element of Self-Control would be like. Without really thinking, she found herself eying her sister.
"But, these Fruits don't have Element Bearers we could ask for help?" Celestia probed.
"Princess, none of these belief systems have testable power." Twilight answered. "Magic simply doesn't exist in this world, and there doesn't seem to be something in it's place." She looked troubled. "Before we arrived, Friendship held no special power at all."
"Oh, Twilight." Celestia nuzzled her student. "Friendship will always hold power, even when magic is off the table."
"But - "
Twilight was interrupted by angry shouting coming from outside. Luna trotted over to the windows and looked outside.
"Sister? Humans are not herd animals, correct?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Because there appears to be a stampede outside."
Indeed, the Human Liberation Front was conducting a full-blown riot at both ends of the street, trying to get past the police barricade. Shouts of "Down with the Invaders!", "Burn the Witches!" and even the really foul "Ponies belong in Abattoirs!" were being chanted over and over by the crowd.
Far, far more worrying to the ponies were the equine-shaped spirits that floated above the crowd's heads, and the sudden cold snap that had started.
Luna cursed in a dead language.
The door to the room burst open. As the ponies wheeled about, they saw with relief that it was the human in charge of their security at the hotel.
"Are you doing that?" She demanded, thumbing at the snow-spirits.
"No, those are Wendigos. They are native to our land, but I no more command them then you command the birds." Celestia hurriedly explained.
"Wendigos? The spirits of cold and cannibalism?!" The native American woman asked in fear.
The ponies shared a shocked look. "The cold bit is right, and while I don't know about any native versions Equestrian Wendigos feed off of disharmony, not... flesh." Twilight explained. "The stampede outside almost certainly attracted them."
Said riot was starting to lose cohesion as the crowd began to panic at the sudden snowstorm.
The security woman made a face of frustration. "Disharmony... you're telling me the things feed off racism? Oh man, they're going to spread like flies."
The ponies winced as they simultaneously had uncharitable thoughts about humanity and mentally slapped themselves for it.
"It's bad enough that that Barrier keeps us out, it doesn't keep your predators in."
Celestia quickly decided on a plan. "Twilight, grab your friends and make as much of the Fire of Friendship as you can. Luna and I will go contain the situation outside."
"Ma'am, if the crowd sees you out there they may just reform and start attacking you." The security woman pointed out.
"We shall take to the sky, and stay out of reach, fair guardswoman." Luna assured her.
"Well," Celestia started as she and Luna took off though the window "it could be worse."
"How so?"
"They could be Parasprites instead."
"Ugh. Do not even joke about that."
"...and so, Mr President, I'm afraid that we now have 'Wendigo' infestations to worry about in addition to the Barrier. If it weren't for some very open minded climatologists working with Princess Celestia to use the sun like a giant thermostat, we'd already be in an Ice Age." The Secretary of Health and Human Services reported.
The man frequently referred to as the most powerful in the world considered what he'd been told.
"Countermeasures?" He demanded.
"The ponies have a magic-based repellent." The Secretary offered.
"Mundane countermeasures?"
"Scarf and a warm jacket."
"Be serious!" The Secretary of Defense barked.
"Fine. Fix racism."
"We can't just shoot them?" The President asked pleadingly.
The Secretary of Health and Human Services gave an odd look to the President. "We can't shoot the Wendigos, no. Bullets don't work so well when the target is incorporeal."
"Damn those ponies." The Secretary of Defense growled. "Their Barrier wasn't killing us fast enough, so now they've released the attack dogs!"
"If you don't mind, sir, I believe it is my job to be the paranoid git." The Director of the CIA interrupted, not looking up from his notes. "As it happens, the Equestrian government is genuine when it says this was an accident."
The President didn't know whether to be relived or terrified. "What makes you say that, Mark?"
"Large-scale random questionnaires. Almost none of the pony population was aware that Wendigos were not extinct. They certainly were not being kept in captivity - I assume the pony countermeasure worked so well they haven't had to deal with the creatures in centuries."
The President removed his glasses absentmindedly and began to clean them. "No wonder they get along with each other so well. If they don't, they freeze to death."
"Huge disincentive to 'unfriendly' behavior... long-lasting, competent and stable government... being held directly responsible for the health of animals and the functioning of weather... really, is it so surprising that the ponies are as they are?" The Director commented.
The President became thoughtful. "Yes, it's like they live in a world where friendship isn't just good, it's downright necessary..." He trailed off. "I wonder if that's it?"
The three advisers shared a look. "If what's what, Mr President?"
"If there was some intelligence - I don't know, socially engineering pony civilization, and it encountered life that didn't live under it's rules..."
"I thought we agreed that Princess Celestia isn't behind the recent events." The Director pointed out.
"I didn't." The Secretary of Defense grumbled.
"Celestia is a powerful force, but that doesn't mean she could be excluded from a hypothetical scheme..." The President collected himself. "Forget it. It's all unsubstantiated, untestable theory. We'll work with what we know."
"I don't care if they lived in a fairyland before, they're here now, not some cartoon." The Secretary continued to grumble.
"Heh. Yeah, Equestria defiantly fits the definition of fairyland alright." The Secretary of Health and Human Services commented.
"I wonder what a cartoon about them would look like..." The President thought out loud. Then he scrunched up his brow. "Cartoon..."
He stood up suddenly. "By George, I think I have an idea."
"Powell?"
"Yeah, Donovan?"
"Remind me again what we're doing planting a nuke in the but-end of nowhere?"
The technician turned to his best friend in utter shock. "You wait until I'm literally moving the nuclear bomb into the hole, and then you ask?!"
"Well, it didn't seem like a good time to ask before!" Donovan snapped back.
"And you think now is?" Powell groaned into his hands. "Look, you know how ponyland is all cute and fluffy and rainbows everywhere?"
"Yeeeessss." Donovan drawled.
"Well, it turns out that explosives from there don't hurt when they go off in your face. Some kind of magical safety feature."
"What, like a Loony Tunes bomb?"
"I think they even used a clip from the show in the briefing." Powell noted. "The briefing you should have been watching."
Donovan didn't really have a reply to that which would salvage his dignity. "So, what, working together we get nukes that can't hurt anybody?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"Because they make the ultimate mining explosive."
His mouth wide open, Donovan stared at Powell. "What the hell would you use a nuclear bomb to mine?!"
Powell gave his friend a frustrated look. Did he pay no attention at all to anything the past few days? "Equestria."
Donovan's mouth closed with a 'click'.
"Well, more like a series of nukes." Powell elaborated. "The explosion has been calculated very carefully to separate the continent from the seafloor so that the Super-Pony Princesses can pick it up and move it somewhere far away."
"Okay, that explains why we're in a submarine." Donovan admitted. That saved him having to ask. "Wait, won't we need to get some nukes deep underground for this to work? How are they pulling that off?"
"Sheer, bloody-minded determination. Any other stupid questions you want to get out of the way now?"
"Where are the ponies going to live? What about the snow-monsters?"Donovan fired away imminently.
Powell tapped his chin. "I think the ponies were going to make a new planet with the chuck we're about to rip out? I can't really remember. I think there was also a plan to have them live in the middle of Australia? To be honest, neither sounds particularly likely."
"And the snow-things?" Donovan prompted.
Powell actually grinned. "Someone showed the ponies Ghostbusters. It gave them ideas."
"Now remember girls, don't look into the trap!" Twilight yelled, trying desperately to aim the stream of rainbow light pouring from the familiar-to-film-fans apparatus on her back.
"I looked into the trap, Twilight!" Rainbow confessed, trying to herd the Wendigos downward with her own rainbow stream.
"Pinkie, no! Don't cross the streams!"