//------------------------------// // As We Move On (AKA Gaia, Operation Traveller) // Story: Tainted Gifts // by Touch of Darkness //------------------------------// Red eyes...yellow irises...darkness...scratching noises.... “Stupid, stupid boy…”, said the voice. “You did this to yourself.” Can’t speak...pain in my head....body is numb...can’t feel my limbs… “Everything could have been easier if you had just let me talk, but no, you have to put up a pointless struggle.” Chills through my spine...bugs under my skin...can’t move… “I could make you a puppet, but not without the risk of damaging you. Your mind is too powerful to simply just takeover. You fight. I was going to kill Twilight, but you woke up before I could. You forced me out of your mind. If you can do that, then fighting to stay in control would incapacitate you, or even mentally maim you, and you are useless if your precious mind isn’t working right. I need your mind intact.” Mind is fuzzy...can’t focus right… “However, your mind seems selective. Sometimes it is completely oblivious to my presence, or simply does nothing about it. Other times, I can’t even begin to try getting in. You are an enigma, Cerus, that much is for sure.” Vision is blurring.... “Wake now Cerus. I have nothing more to say to you.” I hear voices...I’m coming Applebloom… --- I woke with a jolt, and then fell to the ground. I let out a cry of shock as my nose connected with hard, packed dirt. I recoiled back and, and covered my now bleeding nose with my hands. Nothing broke, but it still hurt like a bitch. Then, I was knocked back over by a force that slammed into me from the side. “Cerus!”, Applebloom chimed happily. My eyes met hers, and I smiled. “Hey there.” “Well, he is awake now. Now what?”, asked a male voice that I didn’t recognize. I looked past Applebloom, and saw a young stallion standing with a confused look on his face. He was big, probably just reaching my shoulders, and had light blue fur, complemented by a darker blue mane and tail and, strangely enough, magenta eyes. Applebloom sighed at his question, and got off me. She walked over to him, and looked up into his eyes. The young stallion cocked an eyebrow. “I mean, he can walk now, right?” “What does that have to do with anything?”, Applebloom asked. “Well, you insisted bringing him to your house instead of a hospital or something, and I still don’t quite understand why.” There was short silence. “Rumble, do you trust me?” “Of course I do.” “Do you trust that I have a reason for doing what I am doing?” “Well..yeah…” Applebloom craned her neck up and kissed Rumble on the chin. My heart gave a little start of surprise, and I turned away in disgust, as well as something else. Something primal, and vicious. What in Celestia’s name? Something isn’t right... “Then let me handle this.” Once again there was a short silence, and then I felt a hoof on my shoulder. I jolted away from it, and stood up in the process. I feel...anger…hatred… “Before you ask, I am fine.”, I growled. My heart is beating faster, my muscles are tensing up. Something is seriously wrong with me. “What just happened Cerus?” I feel anger, but it isn’t just anger. “What do you mean, what just happened?” I turned on Applebloom, and locked eyes with her. Her eyes went wide, and I saw her shrink down a little. This is contempt manifesting itself as rage, and I think it is pointed at Applebloom. “Why did you get all...all vile?” I don’t know. “Doesn’t matter.” Stop talking Cerus! “You know that it does to me Cerus.” Yes, I know Applebloom! I know that it does! “Well, I am used to having no one care so deeply for me, and I would prefer to keep it that way. I am entitled to my privacy and my own personal predicaments. If I want you to stay out, stay out.” No, don’t listen to me! That isn’t true! Why am I saying this!? “Wait, are you mad that I am in a relationship?” That’s stupid! Why would I get mad at that? “Applebloom, just quit it. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it.”, Rumble said. I turned to him. I do, but I can’t! “At least he understands!” No, don’t say that Cerus! You are making yourself the enemy here! “Cerus, if-” I looked back at Applebloom, and scowled. Don’t let me stop you Applebloom. Speak your mind! “Can we just get home?” Why “home”? What does “home” have for you? “Cerus, what the hell is going on with you?” I don’t know Applebloom! “There’s is nothing going on with me.” Why am I lying!? “What happened to that smile when you woke up to my face, huh?” Don’t bring up the smile... “Applebloom, it doesn’t fucking matter!” I shouted this very loudly, and Applebloom reacted by shrinking even farther. “Just leave me alone for fuck’s sake!” Holy shit...what's happening to me…? “Hey! Don’t you dare-”, Rumble retaliated, but I locked my coldest stare on him, and he stopped. “This isn’t your problem Rumble. Stay out of it.” “Don’t use my name like you know me.” “Frankly, I would rather call you Rumble than anything else. It’s more respectful.” “Frankly, you don’t seem to know what respect is.” “Frankly, I do. Applebloom here-” “Frankly, Applebloom was only trying to help you Cerus.” “Frankly-” “Can you two stop saying frankly!?”, Applebloom hissed. I was about to shout at her, but then I heard that damned voice in my head again. “Stress is such a useful catalyst in sparking rage. That pressure, that need of mental release is already there. You just need one little push in the wrong direction, and everything goes horribly wrong, or rather, right in my case.”, the voice said sadistically. Then, I felt an emptiness in my head, and knew that the sonuvabitch had triggered my anger and put me back in full control. I lifted my hands to eye level to look at them. They were trembling and twitching. I felt a chill go down my spine as it dawned on me that for the first time in six years, I felt fully and truly afraid of something, and that something was myself. I was a target, a victim, and a perpetrator. I was both dangerous and helpless. How how my life gone from bad to worse so quickly? “Cerus! Say something dammit!”, Applebloom screamed. I looked up from my trembling hands, and locked eyes with Applebloom. “Applebloom...leave me...leave now…” The sudden change in tone caught Applebloom off guard, and I saw her grave expression lighten a little, but that only lasted a second, or less. After that one moment of surprise, it was back to being angry at me. “What kind of answer is that!?” I began to back up. “Where the hell do you think you are going!?” “Forget about me...forget I ever existed…”, I murmured. I tripped over my own feet and fell to the ground, twisting my hand as it broke my fall, but got right back up and kept moving backwards. I saw Applebloom’s eyes soften a little bit as the realization hit her that I might actually be leaving. “Cerus, what are you doing?”, she asked, her tone still harsh, but no longer bitter. “Just live your life and be happy. You don’t need me. You shouldn’t need me. You can’t need me. I do bad things, and always will. Be happy. Live your life. Forget about me.” Rumbled went defensively to Applebloom’s side, and placed a wing over her. He glared at me, but there was also hint of confused innocence that invaded his eyes, his stance, his being. I felt hatred toward that. I felt hatred toward that innocence. I-no...no I didn’t. Something was happening with my mind. Something was taking control. Something foreign and ancient and corrupt. My pheromone. “Cerus-” “Run!” I turned towards the apple orchards, and began to sprint. It was some kind of innate compulsion that made me run to the orchards, the kind of compulsion that one doesn’t quite know how to explain. “Cerus!?” “Stop fucking talking and run! Run home!”, I screamed back at Applebloom, and pushed on with my sprint. I felt the all too familiar coldness began to pump through my blood, the sign that my pheromone was taking complete control of me. Whether it was that thing’s intention or not, his triggering of my anger had also triggered the build up of my pheromone, or whatever the fuck it was. Now, because so much of it had built up, simply releasing it wasn’t going to work. I began to worry about my well being. I had never had so much of that shit build up inside me. Then again, the first time this had happened to me, when that thing was controlling me, I hadn’t experienced any negative side effects. Perhaps it was because that thing had been- “Holy shit!”, I cried out in surprise, and skidded to a stop. Floating in front of me was something that resembled a rip, or a tear. A black rift in space that defied all explanation. I had found the portal to Earth. ----- I stood there, considering it for some time, feeling pure, unfiltered awe sweep in waves through my body. My oh so encroaching pheromone seemingly halted in its progress of taking over my mind, and everything was hushed. No birds chirped, nothing moved, not a blade of grass grew in this unfamiliar territory, far away from the orchards that I hadn’t realized I had long since left behind. In fact, the farm was so far behind me that looking back only revealed hills upon hills, where only the slightest vestiges of there being a orchard materialized as treetops peaking over some of the hills in the distance. I didn’t remember running over the hills. I wasn’t even aware of how much time had passed since I had started running. I didn’t feel sore, and I didn’t feel out of breath. It was as if I had been transported by some mysterious means to this portal, and whatever means that might have been had wiped my memory of the experience from my mind. “For fuck sake…”, I muttered under my breath, and looked back at the portal. I stared at it for some time, though the infinite blackness within was not much to look at. The stillness, the quiet, the rift, even the cold, crisp air all made me feel the deepest kind of dread. Despite this dread, curiosity overwhelmed me, and I reached out to touch the rift. The moment my fingers brushed against it (I knew I had touched it when a powerful chill made me wrench in place), my body seemed to de-materialize, becoming particles that entered the rift. It all happened in less than a second. Before I could comprehend what was happening, I was standing in a dimly lit, circular room. The rift was behind me, and now that I was in an enclosed room, I could hear that it was making a low, almost inaudible buzz that made my head feel like someone was putting pressure on it. It took a second to get used to, but after getting accustomed to the dreadful noise, my brain began to function normally, and did what it always did when finding a new place: locate anything and everything near me. After a quick scan of the room, I found large blast doors directly in front of me, and a large window to my left, from which a single light shone. I walked over to it, and put my eyes against it. There was the silhouette of what was undoubtedly a human against the light of what was undoubtedly a computer. I tentatively knocked on the window. The human reacted by sitting up in their seat a little, and looked to one side, but nothing much else. I knocked harder, and the human turned to face me, partially revealing the face of what was definitely a man. The man jumped up, and ran toward the window. He stumbled over something, but caught himself on some kind of control panel. He fumbled with it, and after a second, a red light started flashing, and he pulled a microphone of sorts to his mouth. “Did you just come through the portal?” I nodded in reply. “How did you find it?” I scowled and shrugged. “If you talk, I will be able to hear you. This is a two way microphone.” I smiled. “I stumbled upon it while wandering around. Curiosity just got the best of me, and I decided to see what was on the other side.” I looked around. “If this is Earth, I see why people would want to leave.” “Oh haha, very funny kid.” I looked back at the man, and smiled my even wider, even more fake smile. “I try my hardest.” “While you try to think of some kind of better joke, why don’t you I open those doors for you, and we can meet each other?” “Sounds like a plan.” I turned to the blast doors, which began to slowly open. I walked out of them, and turned to the sound of a door opening to my left. The man stepped out, and clasped his hands behind his back. He was a middle aged man, probably somewhere in his late fifties or early sixties. He had short brown hair, which was starting to whiten at the roots. His face was soft and filled with youth, despite the crow’s feet on his cheeks and near his eyes. Kind brown eyes looked me over with curiosity and wonder. The man’s clothes were ordinary enough: black slacks, a summer-toned button-up shirt, worn black shoes. “Think of anything?” “Unfortunately for you, my sense of humour is pretty much shit.” “Well then, I guess that’s a lost cause.” I liked this man. His expressions were gentle and filled with a childlike jubilance, which reminded me of Terrance. “What’s your name, kid?” I scowled. “Please don’t call me kid. I really don’t like that term.” I paused for a second. “My name is Cerus.” “Okay Cerus, I will try my best to avoid using that term.” “Thanks Mr…?” “Just call me Jon. I’m not your teacher or anything. Besides, you look like a mature enough of a teen to call me by my first name.” It was then that I realized that the coldness in my blood had started dissipating. It took note of this, but didn’t think too much on it. Figuring out this man was my first priority. “Okay, Jon it is.” I stuck out my hand. “Nice to meet you.” The man grabbed my hand, and shook it. His hands were rough and callused, the hands of manual labor. After a couple shakes, our hands separated, returning to our sides. “Before we sit here any longer, let’s get you out of here. God knows what kind of asbestos is hanging around in this damn place.” He turned, and began to walk down the hallway. I followed him, matching his stride in order to keep up. “What’s asbestos?”, I asked innocently. “Do they asbestos not have over there?” “I don’t know. Maybe they do, but I have never heard that term to describe it...whatever it is.” “All you need to know about asbestos is that too much of it can be deadly.” “Which leads me to ask the question of why you are here.” “Ki-” Jon quickly glanced at me, and then looked back down the long hallway. “Cerus, I have been working -- oh, turn here.” The man made a sharp left turn down another hallway, and I followed in tow. “I have been working here for nearly nine years. Even if I leave and never come back, I’m probably still fucked.” He chuckled lightly, which brought a smile to my face. Everything about this man screamed gentle, but lonely. I seemed to have a knack for finding those people or ponies. Even Terrance had his own problems with isolation while I knew him. At times, he would simply lock himself in a dark room, and just cry. Cry and cry, sometimes for nearly half an hour. I never asked, and he never told. Perhaps I should have d- “Cerus? Earth to Cerus?” I looked up and met the eyes of Jon, who had his hand on my shoulder. “Yeah? What’s going on?” The man let out a hearty laugh. “Well, besides the fact that you were so zoned out that you almost walked straight into a wall, we are going on. The door to the outside is right here." I looked to where he was pointing, and saw a normal looking, wooden door that contrasted the rest of the white washed building. Jon proceeded to open it, letting bright, white light stream into semi-dark room we were standing in. I walked into the light, shielding my eyes as I stepped into it. The texture of the ground beneath me changed from the solid marble of the building to the unmistakably uneven and soft feel of dirt and earth. As I let my aching eyes adjust to the light, I heard the door close, and vaguely sensed Jon walking past me. Finally, my eyes got used to the light, and I ventured to open them wider. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”, Jon asked. I looked around me, and found hills, and grass, and plants, and trees, and everything natural. Somewhere in the distance a crow sounded its macabre caw, and right near me, a bumblebee rested lazily on the flower of a forget-me-not. “It is…”, I said, drifting off as I took in the peace and serenity that this place offered. In contrast to the mildly cold weather of Ponyville, as it had been late Autumn, this place was considerably warm, and based on the life in bloom all around me, I wanted to guess that it was the middle of Spring here on Earth. Flowers bloomed everywhere, the lush, green hills rolled on and on and on, insects buzzed, birds chirped. The sky was blue, and a comfortable breeze blew. Everything was just...nice. “That portal couldn’t have chosen a better spot to appear. These secluded California hills are practically uninhabited and unexplored. The scientists found that thing before anyone else could.”, Jon said, somewhat talking to me, somewhat musing to himself. I heard him, but made the conscious decision not to respond to the statement. Instead, I turned to face him, and fixed him with my commonplace cold, emotionless stare. His reaction was not dissimilar from the many others whom I have gone in detail to describe, so I need not say anything about that. “Do you know anywhere I can stay?” “Well...um...you could stay at my house for a little while, until I get you set up someplace.” A quick pause. “You don’t want to go back to Equestria?” “No, and hopefully I am never given a reason to go back there.” A darkness entered the man’s eyes, a sort of uneasy shadow. “What ha-” “Don’t ask now. If I want to tell you, I will tell you. Just know that I am running from a bad past, which I intend to forget as soon as possible.” “You can’t escape your past, Cerus.” Jon said in a cliched burst of “philosophical genius”. “Maybe I can’t…” I looked down at my tattered sneakers, and scowled at them. “Then why do anything to try to escape it.” I looked back up at Jon, putting as much of my courage into my gaze as physically possible. “Maybe I can’t escape my past, but I can give it a hell of a time trying to find me.” ----- I stared in wonder around the car as Jon drove us home. I knew what it was because my parents had one, as did other high-class individuals in Equestria, but to be inside one after so many years, and to see so many on paved roads made specifically for them was sending my brain into a sensory overload. The soft leather seats molded around my back as I moved, and the warm Californian Spring air, blowing through an open window, tousled my now scraggy and dirty hair, which whipped back against the seat as the car sped along the...what had Jon called it? “Jon, what did you call this road again?”, I asked. “A highway.” That’s it! “Thanks.” My hair whipped back against the seat as we sped along the highway. It was a beautiful feeling, a free feeling. I leaned against the open window of the passenger seat of the car, and let a small smile grace my face. I had a million worries buzzing around my head, but I didn’t want to think on them. Applebloom was safe back in Equestria because that evil man was after me, and if he didn’t know where I was, then doing something to Applebloom would do nothing, because I would never learn of it. No, he was going to try and track me down here on Earth, but I would never let him find me. I sighed in relief, and admittedly in happiness as well. Everything felt perfect, at least for those few moments. Here was finally a new chance to just escape everything that had haunted me. Maybe it would catch up to me at some point, but at least now I didn’t have to worry about it everyday. Equestria had been my birthplace, and ultimately my location of corruption. Earth was going to be my second shot at living a life I didn’t think I could ever have. Even if it meant changing everything I knew, all my beliefs, all my customs. It didn’t matter. My heart panged as I thought about Applebloom, and how much I would undoubtedly miss her, but I would get over it. It was time to move on, for the better or worse. It was time to forget about everything in Equestria. If only I had the kind of imagination to even fathom what awaited me when I got to Jon’s house.